Thursday, May 16, 2024

πŸ“š⏳Throwback Thursday's Time Machine⏳πŸ“š: Scott by RJ Scott & VL Locey



Summary:
Owatonna U #2
What happens when you try to fix the past and end up threatening your future?

Scott is struggling. Grieving the loss of his brother, carrying the weight of his father’s expectations, and getting his ass kicked in the rink, he’s in a downward spiral. He needs a solution and fast, but when his steroid use is exposed, he’s close to losing his place at Owatonna and more importantly, on the Eagles Hockey team. Thrown out of his house, with nowhere to go and no future in sight, he only has one choice; agree to mandatory counseling, random drug tests, and get his act together. Only then will he have a chance at normal. Meeting Hayne, a senior connected to the world through his art, is a shock to the system. Moving in with him is his only option, but falling for the shy artist leaves Scott in an impossible situation, and one he can’t escape.

Hayne has always been that quiet, creative kid who sat in the back of class drawing instead of listening to the teacher. A talented artist, the shy and sensitive young man is struggling with the loss of his childhood friend. Seeing his sadness reflected in his usually colorful paintings, he decides to attend grief counseling and meets Scott, a lost soul in desperate need of light and color in his life. Taking in a homeless hockey player certainly was never part of his carefully orchestrated ten-year plan. But now that Scott is in his life, he’s discovering the joy of this man’s loving smile and tender touch is one of the most beautiful palettes on earth.

Original Review April 2019:
Scott & Locey have done it again!  In Owatonna U Hockey book 2 we meet Scott, the troubled hockey player who finds himself homeless and facing a year-long suspension from the team because of his steroid use and Hayne, an art student who struggles with social interactions when it comes to the big, hulky, jock types.  Fate puts these two young lads together and we get to ride along on their journey.

From the minute we meet Scott, you just know that something is wrong and that he has no where to go but crash.  I absolutely love the way his coach deals with the situation before him, yes he does his job by suspending Scott but he's also there for him, he doesn't demean him, he doesn't look down at him, he supports him from the minute Scott walks into his office.  You just know his Eagles teammates would do the same if Scott wasn't avoiding them.  Don't even get me started on Scott's dad though because talk about a character that needs a swift kick-in-the-ass.

As for Hayne, how can you not love him?  He has a heart of gold, it may sound cliche but in this case it is no less true.  The two men he rents rooms to may be the over-rated, I'm-better-than-you, stay-outta-my-way, stereotypical jock that can be overused but in Scott, the authors write them perfectly and so not over the top.  As someone who lives in a college town, let me tell you, these types are not in the majority but they definitely do exist and I have seen my share of them strutting down the street on their way to class, trust me you can't miss them. So the authors are pretty spot on and its perfectly understandable and believable just why Hayne feels as he does.

Grief counselling leads to kindness leads to unexpected friendship which leads to romance.  The connection between Scott and Hayne is evident from the minute they meet on the way to counselling group and as immediate as that connection is, I would not classify this as insta-love, that's not to say its a slow-burn either but just right.  They really are meant to be and yet its not all sunshine and roses, the struggles are there for both parties.

Scott may have a love story involved between the title character and Hayne but for me, at its core is Scott finding his way, his place in the world, his path.  I love how the authors combine the love story with Scott's healing(for lack of a better word) but never lose sight of what he's struggling with, nor do they go the way of the over-used plot of his friends abandoning him.  Ryker, Jacob, and Ben are never far from the story and I really found those scenes to be quite powerful and emotional, even when they were the bit of much-needed humor, they were still incredibly heartwarming.

Speaking of not going the way of over used plot points, as I said above I wanted to give Scott's dad a swift kick-in-the-ass, well that doesn't completely change but there is a possibility of learning and growing on that front too.  So many elements that will warm your heart.  Scott is definitely worthy of the Owatonna U Hockey brand as well as the Harrisburg Railers that it is spun from.

I already feel like I've given away too much so I'll just say this: Scott is a win-win from beginning to end.  Whether you are a hockey fan or not won't matter a bit because yes, there is some hockey but mostly this is a story of friendship, rebuilding, growth, finding your place in the world, and of course love.  If you are wondering about series order, yes each entry has its own stars and their stories but in my opinion the friendships just flow better when read in order.  Whichever order you read these in, just be sure to read because you won't be sorry.

RATING:



One
Scott
The no-look pass from John was sweet. Right to my stick, just as we’d practiced, and for a single shining second I was the best goddamned hockey player in the world. I collected the puck, iced to a stop, reversed my skating, the chilled air whipping my face, and I beat one of their defensemen as if he was standing still. I could envision the puck in the net. Hell, I could taste the goal.

I stickhandled past the other D-man, weaving around him, kicking the puck with my blade, back to my stick. The goalie going low, I deked to my left, saw the netminder wobble as he pushed to stop the puck, and slapped it right at him, aiming for the space above the glove hand. I watched it fly in slow motion, but as soon as it left my stick, I knew I’d let it go a millisecond too soon. The rubber met the posts, the crack of sound an exclamation point to my failure to score.

John was there, collecting the puck, trying to corral it as it jumped and slid around the net, but the defense was too good, and in an instant they were shuttling it between them, heading back up the ice. I slammed a hand against the plexiglass, pushed off, and used the momentum to get myself around the back of the net. Muscles screaming, I followed the puck and the other team, reaching Benoit just as he went low, the puck going high, and that was it, the biscuit was in the net, and we were five goals down.

In the first freaking period.

I hadn’t even managed to scrape back a goal that would count. Despondently, we headed back for the change, John’s stick tapping my calf.

“Nice one, Scotty,” he said as he passed and sat back on the bench.

Nice one? I’d fucking missed. A second later, a softer release, a single skate step, and that would have been a goal. Then we could have taken home at least a score in this sorry excuse for a game. John had to be riding me on this.

“Fuck you, John,” I snapped, but I wouldn’t look at my fellow skater, because he was such a waste of space right now.

This shitty game was all Ryker’s fault.

Ryker was home with his dad and Ten, but why the hell would he need to be with Ten for so long? The Eagles were a hot mess without him, and when we lose today, it will be all on him.

We’d opened up the team to the hotshot asshole, and now for some reason, I was being left out to hang because the rest of them relied so heavily on Mr. Draftee. Coach placed a hand squarely on my shoulder, squeezed it. I got the message.

At least you tried, Scott.

I just wished the rest of the team would try as hard. Acid temper coiled inside me and it hurt.

“What the fuck was that?” I snapped at John.

He turned to me. “What the hell?”

“Where were you? Why didn’t you pass earlier?”

He looked at me steadily, his bright blue eyes narrowing. “What’s your problem, Scotty?”

“Stop calling me fucking Scotty, and do your fucking job.”

He was talking at me, shouting something, but I didn’t listen because it wasn’t worth it. I wanted back on the ice. I was going to pulverize their D, and I was going to score the next goal if it killed me. Testosterone flooded me, my vision clear, my chest tight with tension.

I’ll show them all.

I glanced up to where Dad was sitting, and he was staring back at me, his gaze fixed and stony, disappointment in every line of him.

Oh yeah, I got his message as well.

Shame it was you and not your brother on the ice. He ’d have made that shot easily.

You need to practice, Scott. Stay behind.

Fight for this, Scott. Don’t let me the fuck down.

Man up, you loser.

I was out at the next change, muscles loose, breathing harsh, and my focus fixed. We could pull this back. John won the face-off, and I caught the slick pass, avoiding their big D. I was on fire. I was purpose and vengeance all wrapped into one.

The tablets were worth it. They were making me fly. I could do anything. I passed to John, who moved to Brandon, and then it was back to me, tic-tac-toe, I had the disc on my stick, the net was wide open, and I was ready. I wound up to shoot, dismissing the crippling pain in my shoulder, forgetting my dad, the coach, the team. The D-man came from nowhere, hip-checking me, nearly taking me off my skates, and I lost the puck. The whistle sounded, but temper held me in its fiery grip. I threw my stick at the D-man as he skated away. It missed him, and someone gripped me from behind. I rounded on the man, swung my gloved fist, and connected with someone’s head, the red mist consuming me, the fire burning so bright I couldn’t even see. More arms held me, and there was shouting and screaming. Ben was there. What was my best friend doing up on this end of the ice? He was our goalie. He should’ve been up in our net. He was in my face talking to me, trying to get me to stop straining for freedom to hit someone else. He took off his mask. I could see his dark eyes, and I know he was talking about something.

“Get back in the net!” I was freaking out. The yelling got louder, the air hot with my temper. Was that me shouting?

A fist connected with my face, and I welcomed the pain because pain actually meant I was alive.

“I want to play!” I yelled trying to get free of the hold, and I lashed out at the people nearest to me, connecting with flesh, feeling like a god.

“Stop him!”

“It’s Ben!” John shouted at me. “He’s hurt. You laid him out!” The voice permeated the temper and passion, and I tore myself away, my fists up, ready to fight anyone who wanted to touch me.

And then Ben was there, standing in front of me, his face covered in blood, streams of it running from a gash in his forehead, a terrible flood of scarlet on his dark skin.

“Scott!” he shouted at me, swiping at the blood. “It’s me!” He gripped my upper arms, and I shook him off, but he wouldn’t let me go that easily, stared right at me, blinking at the blood as it slid around his socket. “Scott, please?”

My head was spinning, the red mist retreating, the effect of the pills that made me fast and strong, slipping away and leaving me a ragged, panting mess.

What had I done? I reached for Ben to touch the wound, and he flinched and skated back.

My best friend was scared of me?

“Off,” the referee snapped, then took my arm. I was too exhausted to argue, too overwhelmed to care. I glanced up at Dad, and he was on his feet, looking so goddamn happy to see his son fight.

At least he was proud of me, but at what cost? What have I done?

All I felt was sick, and the rest of the game was a blur. The coach held me on the bench. I didn’t play again, but he wouldn’t let me go to the locker rooms, his face a mask of pity and shock. I was lost, becoming something smaller as I sat miserably, staring at the floor, the adrenaline leaving me shaking and confused.

They said the tablets would make me fly, but no one had said I would crash so hard.

We lost. I don’t know by how much, because I didn’t care. We headed back to the locker room, everyone deadly quiet, and all I wanted to do was apologize to Ben, who hadn’t come back after I’d hit him. He’d need stitches; I’d caught him just above his eyebrow, right where it would cut the worst and bleed like a bitch.

“Okay, Scott, let’s do this.”

Coach was talking to me, our assistant coach Eddie standing next to him, the two of them staring at me steadily.

“What?” I blinked at the room around me. It was just me and the two coaches. “Where’s the rest of the team?”

Coach exchanged a pointed look with Eddie. “We want you to open your locker, Scott.”

My locker? What?

“I don’t understand.”

Coach placed a hand on my shoulder. “It will be okay, Scott. I promise we’ll work through this.”

Why did I want to cry? Men don’t cry. That’s what everyone had told me when Luke died and I was all cried out. I leaned into Coach, wanting more, needing a hug. Even as messed up as I was, I didn’t miss the irony of the coach being the only one to give me true affection.

Eddie cleared his throat. “You have the right to have someone with you, Scott. We need your permission to see inside your locker, but you shouldn’t be here alone.”

Who would I ask? My dad? Ben, whom I’d just hurt? Ryker wasn’t here.

I didn’t want any of them to see anyway. The guy who sold me the pills told me what to do if I was found out, but he’d also warned me to keep my cool even if they made me feel like shit.

I reached for the padlock, entering the familiar numbers, and instead of standing aside and letting Coach see what I had in there, I reached in and pulled out the small tub of tablets, handing it directly to him. I’d memorized what I needed to say, the wording perfect, the description of what I’d taken clear and concise. Anything to mitigate the punishment if they found the pills before I told Coach about them.

“I’m self-reporting that I have been using Androstenedione for exactly five weeks.”

Eddie’s shoulders fell, and Coach turned the pills over in his hand.

“You need to come with me,” he said and took my arm, leading me out of the locker room and into his office. Eddie didn’t follow and threw me a look of what I had to think was pity. “Sit down, Scott.”

I looked at my feet. I wasn’t wearing skates. Where had they gone? I was just in socks, still in uniform, hot and sweaty, and completely out of it. Like the weed I’d tried when I was eleven, a stolen puff from Luke, which had made me see prisms and feel as though nothing could hurt me. That was how I felt now, numb, floating, and a band of pain viciously crushed my skull.

“I won’t let this slide,” Coach said. “You need help, Scott.”

He kept talking, about how I was grieving over Luke, how the pressure of hockey and academia was too much for some people, how I needed so much help I was going to be an old man and still getting therapy. Or at least, it sounded that way.

“… one year suspension, Scott. You understand that, right?”

I nodded as I tuned back in. The NCAA handed out a season’s suspension for steroid use. I would be a senior before I could skate again.

Skating is my life. It defines me. It earns me my father’s love. It connects me to Luke.

“… a test. Okay. Also, counseling is important and mandatory at Owatonna U, okay?”

“Huh?”

“Scott, are you listening to me? We’ll do a test, make this official. That is the way it has to be.”

“Uh-huh,” I answered. The pain in my head matched the sickness roiling in my stomach.

“Okay, we need to get a student rep—”

The door slammed open.

“What the hell is going on!” My dad was there, a bristling bear of righteous indignation.

“Mr. Caldwell, please take a seat.”

This sure was official; normally Coach called my dad Gordy. They were even halfway to being friends. Not a stretch when Dad had bought the team a bus and was our volunteer driver for away games.

Will he still do that if I’m not on the team?

“Coach, all men fight. It’s part of the game, and I won’t support you benching him.”

Wow, finally a glimmer of support from Dad, which meant absolutely nothing to me, as I sat there sweating and sick.

“Mr. Caldwell—”

“He’s your star player right now.”

“He’s not well,” Coach said.

“He’s got a temper is all. About time he showed it on the ice. Scott, we’re going home.” Dad pulled at my jersey. “Let Coach cool down and think about this.”

I didn’t want to go to what Dad called home. It was nothing like home; it was a mausoleum steeped in memories of Luke. Nothing more than a box where I kept the fear, pain and shame I carried with me every day. I tried to telegraph a message to Coach without Dad seeing. Don’t make me go home with him.

“Scott was found in possession of restricted steroids, Androstenedione, to be exact." Coach picked up the tub from the table.

Dad stopped his blustering, went bone-white, and for a moment I thought he was going to keel over and die on the spot.

“What?”

“Scott has self-reported steroid use, tests will be done, and he’ll sit out the rest of the season.”

Dad’s defense of his angry fighting macho son vanished in an instant, horror turning into a blank expression I knew so well.

Here it comes.

“You're…” He couldn’t finish the sentence, but in my head, I knew how it went. You’re nothing like Luke. His meaning was always clear— you’re not the son I wanted, not like the one I loved. “Drugs?”

“Dad—”

“You weren’t even real?” He lurched back, his hand on the latch of the door.

“I just wanted…”

“I can’t do this. I won’t watch another son die.”

He didn’t listen, wrenching the door open and slamming it shut behind himself so hard the wall shook, and Coach and I were alone. Compassion flooded Coach’s expression, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to sob my heart out and have Coach make it all better, ripping away all the dark bits inside me and tossing them away. Because no one else could help, and I couldn’t help myself. Losing Luke had broken everything in my life, and now I had nothing left. Not even hockey.

If you don’t have hockey, then you don’t have a fear of your dad hating you for failing.

The next hour was a blur—tests, avoiding the team, refusing to talk to Ben, sending my apologies in words through Coach. The team was worried, or so Coach said. They wanted to see me. They were sorry. Sorry about what, I didn’t know. None of this was their fault—I’d done this to myself.

“I’m taking you home,” Coach said. He’d been with me the entire time, the student rep less happy about working with a druggie who cheated at hockey. Or at least that was what I read into her sour expression. Who could blame her? I was cheating, and I was taking banned meds. She was right.

We left the building, the arena empty, none of the guys waiting this long, no fans and students milling around, just the scent of hot dogs in the air from the closed-up carts. Empty rinks are eerie affairs, but at least no one would see my shame as I left.

There was one car in the parking lot, my dad’s, and for a second a wild hope uncurled inside me. Was he here to hug me, tell me it was all going to be okay, that he wanted to be my dad again, and that he forgave me everything?

“Dad’s here,” I said to Coach, who gave me one final arm squeeze.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? You have my cell number. Use it. We need to get counseling organized; it’s mandatory, you remember that.”

“I do.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t see. If it was me who put pressure on you…” he began, but I didn’t want a speech where blame was laid. I’d done this to myself, and I didn’t really know why.

I shrugged off his touch. “It’s all on me.” I was good at this lying shit.

Rounding the car where Dad stood in the cold, I saw he had his thick coat wrapped around himself. I waited for him to say something, and then as Coach’s car headlights swept our way, I noticed the case at his side—my case.

“I can’t do this with you,” Dad said and nudged at a case with his foot. “You’re a cheating lying drug addict, and I don’t want to see you.”

“Dad—”

He held up a hand. “How could you do this to me? To us?”

That was always his go-to question. How can you not be Luke is what he really meant.

“I needed you to listen to me,” I shouted. The drugs had been so good at leaving me disconnected from the world of guilt and failure that consumed me.

“Why? This will kill your mom.”

“I doubt that,” I snapped before I could stop myself and never saw his hand move until it connected with my face, the slap hard and full of hate. I saw tears in his eyes. I wanted to hug him. I wanted him to listen to me.

I wanted my dad.

He climbed into his car without another word and didn’t look back at his only living son. Everything had crashed spectacularly. I’d hurt my best friend, my steroid abuse had been exposed, I’d earned a year’s suspension, and fuck knows where I would go now. I was lost, alone, homeless, and I probably had all my worldly possessions in a suitcase and I still couldn’t cry. I didn’t have that emotion inside me. I was as frozen as the ice I skated on.

Hockey wasn’t in my immediate future. Neither was a home. And standing there, bundled up against the cold, I was shocked, horrified, and exhausted.

But mostly I was relieved.


Saturday's Series Spotlight
Harrisburg Raptors
Part 1  /  Part 2  /  Part 3  /  Part 4

Owatonna U
Part 1  /  Part 2

Arizona Raptors
Part 1  /  Part 2

Boston Rebels
Part 1  /  Part 2

Chestorford Coyotes

LA Storm
Script  /  Sparkle  /  Second


Hockey Universe
Xmas Edition
Part 1  /  Part 2  /  Family First

Road to the Stanley Cup Edition

Father's Day Edition


πŸ’πŸ‘¨‍❤️‍πŸ‘¨πŸ’πŸ’–πŸ‘¬πŸ’–πŸ’πŸ‘¨‍❤️‍πŸ’‹‍πŸ‘¨πŸ’




RJ Scott
Writing love stories with a happy ever after – cowboys, heroes, family, hockey, single dads, bodyguards

USA Today bestselling author RJ Scott has written over one hundred romance books. Emotional stories of complicated characters, cowboys, single dads, hockey players, millionaires, princes, bodyguards, Navy SEALs, soldiers, doctors, paramedics, firefighters, cops, and the men who get mixed up in their lives, always with a happy ever after.

She lives just outside London and spends every waking minute she isn’t with family either reading or writing. The last time she had a week’s break from writing, she didn’t like it one little bit, and she has yet to meet a box of chocolates she couldn’t defeat.




VL Locey
V.L. Locey loves worn jeans, yoga, belly laughs, walking, reading and writing lusty tales, Greek mythology, the New York Rangers, comic books, and coffee.
(Not necessarily in that order.)

She shares her life with her husband, her daughter, one dog, two cats, a flock of assorted domestic fowl, and two Jersey steers.

When not writing spicy romances, she enjoys spending her day with her menagerie in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania with a cup of fresh java in hand.





RJ Scott
FACEBOOK  /  TWITTER  /  WEBSITE
NEWSLETTER  /  CHIRP  /  INSTAGRAM
AUDIOBOOKS  /  B&N  /  GOOGLE PLAY
AUDIBLE  /  FB GROUP  /  TUMBLR
PINTEREST  /  PATREON  /  TIKTOK
BOOKBUB  /  KOBO  /  SMASHWORDS
iTUNES  /  AMAZON  /  GOODREADS
EMAIL: rj@rjscott.co.uk
EMAIL: vicki@vllocey.com



Scott #2
B&N  /  KOBO  /  iTUNES  /  WEBSITE

Harrisburg Railers Series
B&N  /  iTUNES  /  CHIRP

Owatonna U Series

Arizona Raptors Series

Boston Rebels Series
B&N  /  iTUNES  /  KOBO  /  WEBSITE

Chestorford Coyotes Series

LA Storm Series

Sparkle #1.5(LA Storm)


Monday, May 13, 2024

πŸ“šMonday's Mystical MagicπŸ“š: The Golden Haired Boy by Scarlet Blackwell



Summary:

He was nothing but a beast in heart and mind, pretending at love when he knew not the first thing about it.

When Johann, a two-hundred-year-old Austrian vampire meets Lucas, an English student at the turn of the twentieth century, it’s love at first sight. The golden-haired beauty is nineteen and bewitches him, becoming an all-consuming obsession. But Johann has vowed never to confer his dark existence on anyone and so he is cursed to walk his immortal path alone, no matter that Lucas returns his feelings.

The two continue to meet once a year and their love remains unrequited until they, and the world, are shattered by war, and life will never be the same again.

A sweeping novella of love and loss taking the reader from the slums of Whitechapel to the battlefields of World War Ⅰ and beyond. HEA guaranteed.

Possible spoilers:
Themes: hurt/comfort, angst
Genre: Historical vampire romance
Warnings: Harrowing scenes and death. Suicidal ideation.


Original Review September 2023:
Paranormal and WW1 . . . EEEEEEP!!!!

Granted the WW1 content is relatively minor in size but since there is just not enough stories that(at least in some part) set during The Great War, I definitely knew I had to read and file away for Veteran's Day finds as well.  

You might have noticed I said "minor in size" well that's because I think despite so few pages concerning the war, it does have a huge payoff that I'll admit I could see coming but guessing it and actually reading it is two very different emotions.  Any time my emotions run the gauntlet while pretty much knowing what awaits the characters at the end is a mighty fine piece of storytelling IMO.

Johann and Lucas are so wonderful, I just loved watching them navigate meeting again and again.  The pain Johann inflicts upon himself by both reaching out the way he wants and his determination not to put the vamp horrors he faces onto such an innocent lad like Lucas rips at your heart.  Lucas wars within himself his desires for Johann and his fears at just what Johann actually is also pulls on the heartstrings.  Despite at times wanting to bang their heads together at their internal conflicts, it's these kind of character developments that can often get, well not overlooked but glossed over in short novellas but Scarlet Blackwell balances it perfectly.  

Do I wish it was longer?  Of course.  

Do I think it could be better as a full length novel? Perhaps, if only to see more of Johann's past as well as his future.  

Can I imagine loving The Golden Haired Boy any stronger with more content?  No.  Don't get me wrong, I would most definitely love it longer but more than I already love it, that's a no because the lads are already occupying my heart as is.

So to reiterate more succinctly:  The Golden Haired Boy is a brilliant tale of wanting, leaving, returning, accepting, and above all else discovering and surviving.  

RATING:



CHAPTER ONE 
1900 
Spring, and the gaslights were being lit later than usual. The vampire Johann stood in the darkest shadows, watching the man complete his task and hurry over to the opposite side of the square. This was the second time in a month Johann had visited the university quad. He hadn’t had any particular reason to be there the first time other than to feed, but he had more of one to be there the second. The golden-haired boy who lived in room thirteen. 

He’d taken a sip that first night from a nice-looking girl of twenty or so and left her in the bushes behind the square, where she would wake in an hour with little more than a headache. Stepping out under the circle of a gaslight, he’d been startled by a boy hurrying past, and drawn back like lightning. Wearing a blazer and carrying a satchel, he moved under the light’s halo, and his hair shone like spun gold. His face was pale, his features fine, his lashes long and delicate over eyes whose colour was concealed by the shadows.  Johann remained still until the boy had gone, then stepped out and followed him. He went in the direction of the university accommodation, his shoes ringing on the cobblestones, then ascended a flight of stairs to the first floor. Johann, trailing behind, sprang up the stairs in one leap and arrived at the top just as his quarry let himself into a room, closing the door behind him without looking back. 

Johann approached the door with no sound. He stood for a moment, listening, noting the number. He thought about knocking, gaining admittance with some pretext, but it was a bad idea. He would lose control if he was alone with the boy, and he didn’t lose control. Not anymore. He retreated back to the university square. 

It wasn’t his intention to return to bite the golden-haired boy. Or maybe it had been—he wasn’t sure. But Johann didn’t do anything as indiscreet as killing. He’d learned his lesson in Vienna and Prague long ago. No, surviving on sips from a few victims per day made his current stay in England much more harmonious. It was just that the boy had captured his imagination in a way no one had done for so long. Johann couldn’t get his beauty out of his mind. The golden hair, the porcelain skin, his long lean figure. Cultivating attractions towards humans only ended in disaster and misery. And the boy appeared barely eighteen or nineteen.  He should go. He hesitated at the corner of the square, undecided. Then shoes clicked against the cobblestones and Johann drew back into his hiding place in the bushes. 

It was the same time, on the same day of the week, and there he was. He must have a late class on Mondays. He walked quickly again. Perhaps he was cold, or maybe the class was a bore and he was just eager to be back in his room. 

Johann clutched at a branch as the boy drew level, and his hair glowed like a halo. Johann fought with himself, because he heard the human’s heart beating like a drum and he wanted a taste. Just a little one. He cursed himself for not feeding before he came. For arriving hungry and putting this boy at such risk. 

The boy stopped suddenly, and barely five feet away, Johann held his breath. The object of his attention peered into the shrubbery. His eyes were a pale, silvery blue. To Johann’s heightened vampire vision, they were hypnotic, glittering jewels. Johann caught his scent on the still night air. The smell of his blood, and manmade things, like soap and spicy cologne. 

“Who’s there?” The boy seemed to stare right at him. His voice was deep, belying his youthful looks, his accent southern, perhaps Southampton, although Johann wasn’t an expert. 

Johann’s mouth filled with saliva. He could have sworn he felt his dead heart stir to life.

“Is there somebody there?” The boy sounded nervous, afraid. Johann wanted to reach out to him, reassure him, but he did not. He remained as still as a cat, not allowing himself to take what he desired. 

The boy bit his pale lip, looked around, then hurried on, redoubling his swift pace. Johann stayed where he sat. He put his hand over his chest and expected to feel a hard thudding beneath his ribs. The boy with the golden hair had revived him. 


Johann was a model member of his small town community. He lived in a townhouse on the outskirts and was pleasant to his neighbours, if reclusive. He raised his hat at ladies he saw on the streets and politely declined invitations to visit clubs from the local gentlemen. He employed no staff, and his neighbours no doubt gossiped about a single man keeping house for himself. In a locked room at the top of the house, Johann kept a coffin filled with Viennese earth, where he slumbered and could pretend he was still at home. Not that he disliked England, with its sun in fits and starts and cold winters. Its climate was rather ideal for him. If it was overcast enough, he could actually venture outdoors during the day for short periods, providing he wore gloves and the brim of his hat shaded his face. It was risky, though. If the sun happened to peep from behind the clouds unexpectedly, he could expect to receive a nasty burn. He’d learned all this through trial and error, during his two-hundred-year life, and had caused himself damage and pain more times than he could remember. But he liked the daylight too much not to risk it. Liked to remember what it was like to be human. 

A week after coming face to face with the golden-haired boy, Johann was still thinking about him. He resolved not to go back to the university, because sooner or later he would attract attention hanging around there. 


Spring arrived, daffodils and snowdrops peeping through the winter-hard ground, and Johann rationed his daylight sojourns as the sun put in several appearances. He liked spring—the way everything winter seemed to have killed was slowly reborn, new and stronger than before. The baby birds, the lambs in the fields, and the smell of rain on the revitalized earth. 

Johann felt reborn himself. He had a focus for his thoughts and his attention and wished it were not so. It was dangerous to let admiration grow, to let finer feelings take over his hard, abandoned emotions. He had to remember who he was. A creature that no longer had the luxury of feeling, who must remain alert to suspicion in the town and cover his tracks. Becoming soft-hearted would get him killed. Although there were plenty of times when that would have appealed to him. It had been a long and lonely life, and Johann had wished an end to it more times than he could count. 


One grey, rainy day, Johann left his house sheltered by his broad umbrella, and walked down to the river. He sat on a bench and watched a little girl and her mother feeding the ducks and swans, while keeping an eye on the clouds for signs of shifting. There were hansom cabs to be hired on the road not far away, which should guarantee him a swift exit before he burst into flames. 

Some geese arrived, raucous and taking control of the rations, chasing the other birds greedily away. Johann closed up his umbrella because the rain had tapered off to mere drips, and relaxed back against his bench. He felt peaceful today, even if he was still haunted by the image of the golden-haired boy. He was hungry, a sullen ache that muttered at him, but it was nothing which couldn’t wait until nightfall. He was used to the hunger; it was part of him. 

A group of students made their way along the riverbank, chattering animatedly. Johann froze in place as one golden head stood out among a sea of dark hair. He bowed his head so his hat would obscure his face, irrationally convinced the boy would recognize him even though he was sure he had not been seen that night in the bushes. His blood seemed to pound in his veins and drum in his ears. Impossible. This was ridiculous. He couldn’t hide like this, not when he needed to set his eyes on this beautiful creature again. He needed it more than he had ever needed anything, apart from blood. 

He lifted his head. The students stopped level with the child and her mother. A couple of them pushed each other playfully towards the water. The golden-haired boy took a shiny, red apple from his satchel and polished it on his blazer. Johann saw a flash of pearly teeth as he bit into the flesh with a crunch which reverberated in the vampire’s sensitive ears. He said something to one of the other students as he chewed, and then nodded at the reply without smiling.

The group continued on their way, coming close to Johann. Did he dare make eye contact? Oh God, he had to. He felt as if his life depended on it. He kept his head up, his eyes fixed on the boy, and waited for the student to notice he was being looked at. 

The boy noticed. His gaze drifted to Johann, idly swept over him, then came back, fixed rigidly, staring. The hand, which had been about to bring the apple back to his mouth, remained hovering in the air. He blushed, the rosy glow beautiful on his snowy skin. Johann didn’t look away. His throat felt tight and closed. His fingertips tingled. These feelings of attraction were so unfamiliar to him they distressed him rather than excited him. He didn’t like the way his stomach seemed to lurch as if he would commit that very human act of vomiting, or the way his hands became clammy when he didn’t normally perspire. 

He hadn’t been wrong about the boy. He was as beautiful as Johann remembered from his two glimpses in the university quad. The jewel-like eyes glowed from the flushed skin. His features were delicate and measured, the cheekbones sculpted, the nose small and upturned. His mouth, while small, was full-lipped, but pale, almost without colour. He was of good height, but not as tall as some of his friends—perhaps about five-feet-eleven, and his body was lean and well-proportioned. 

One of the other students nudged him. The golden-haired boy looked away. His dark-haired friend laughed, but sent a cold glance in Johann’s direction.

The students passed by him and were gone. Johann let his gaze follow the golden-haired boy. “Look back,” he said, under his breath. “Please look back.” 

Johann could hypnotize some humans, but he didn’t believe his magic could work at such a distance, nor had he set out to deliberately bewitch the boy. Nonetheless, the object of his affection turned around and looked at Johann once more, the expression on his face intent and unreadable. 


Johann was possessed. He thought he saw the golden-haired boy everywhere he went. He dreamed of him while lying in his coffin during sunlit days. He smarted with remembrance as he thought of others loved and lost, and unrequited desire, and he vowed he would never approach the boy and make himself known. 

Spring marched into full bloom, and Johann was relegated to the coffin during daylight hours. Perversely, he thirsted for the sun. He remembered its warm caress on his human skin, and swimming in Austrian lakes during endless summers. For the first time in an age, his skin ached for another’s touch. His vampire skin prickled and burned as though the sun had possession of it. He imagined the press of another body beside him in the coffin, and it almost made him weep. There was only this. There would only ever be this.


Scarlet Blackwell
Scarlet Blackwell's jam is m/m enemies-to-lovers romance. Her stories are usually small town contemporary but she has been known to throw the odd historical or paranormal into the mix and a hot cop fairly often.

She likes unusual settings and atypical, flawed heroes. Her stories are dark and gritty and her themes are not for the faint-hearted, but a HEA is always assured.  


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