Thursday, April 16, 2026

⏳Throwback Thursday's Time Machine⏳: The Pursuit of . . . by Courtney Milan



Summary:
The Worth Saga #2.5
What do a Black American soldier, invalided out at Yorktown, and a white British officer who deserted his post have in common? Quite a bit, actually.

•They attempted to kill each other the first time they met.
•They're liable to try again at some point in the five-hundred mile journey that they're inexplicably sharing.
•They are not falling in love with each other.
•They are not falling in love with each other.
•They are… Oh, no.

The Pursuit Of… is about a love affair between two men and the Declaration of Independence. It’s a novella of around 38,000 words.


Original Review April 2024:
Once again another new-to-me author.  Well I aimed to make 2024 the year of the new-to-me authors and I'm off to flying start.  I went looking for recs for either American Revolution or US Civil War eras because there just isn't enough for my liking, I even added in my rec request that I'd be willing to read a story from the enemy side of the Revolutionary WarπŸ˜‰.  Someone rec'd The Pursuit of. . . by Courtney Milan and though it is a novella prequel of her Worth Saga series that appears to be MF romances I decided I had to read this MM entry.

So glad I did!

Henry and John couldn't be more opposites for a variety of reasons, major one: John is a freedman Corporal in the Continental Army and Henry is a Captain(I believe that was his rank) in the British Army.  Now I'm not going to list their differences other than the one that really made this novella sparkle: the cheese, the dreaded cheese that Henry seems to be lugging around that never seems to get better until suddenly one day it appears to, at least in the men's minds.  Okay so that wasn't really a difference or the point that made the journey sparkle for me but it lead to just too many darn funny moments of convo that I couldn't ignore mentioning it.  No the part that really sparkled for me was Henry's unending ability to talk, and talk and talk and then talk some more and the patience John had was  . . . well it's more patience than I would've had in the circumstancesπŸ˜‰. Today he would be diagnosed with ADHD but back then?  Well he was just Henry and I loved every minute of it.

There's no way this pair could get their HEA, right? Under the circumstances and the social standards of the day it's impossible to even speculate but sometimes that is when HEAs are a must but will they get their's, well you have to read for yourself.  If you're like me and not a MF reader anymore and know in your heart you most likely won't be checking out the author's Worth Saga(at least at this time in my reading journey but I'll definitely keep it on my TBR list) I definitely highly recommend giving this MM novella a chance because it's absolutely smashing and lovely.

RATING:



Yorktown, 1781
In the heat of battle, Corporal John Hunter could never differentiate between silence and absolute noise. Years had passed since his first engagement, but every time, the sheer discord of sound blended together. The cry of bugles sounding orders, the clash of bayonets, the rat-tat-tat of firearms somewhere in the distance, the hollow concussion of the cannons—each one of those things heralded someone’s doom. To take heed to any of it was to fall into fear. To fear was to make mistakes; to err was to die. No matter the odds, the sounds of battle were so overwhelming that they were no different than silence.

Yorktown was just like any other engagement. 

Oh, the strategists might have begged to differ. There were more clouds, more night. Less frost than some of the battles he’d taken part in. Someone had talked prettily at them about how the freedom of this nascent nation was at stake and some other things John had listened to with his hands curling into fists. The colonies didn’t care about John’s freedom, so he returned the favor by not caring about theirs.

In the end, all battles were smoke and shit and death, and John’s only goal was to see the other side of this war without being forcibly acquainted with the Grim Reaper. Fight. Survive. Go home to his family. The most basic of needs.

The night was dark around him and his fellow infantrymen. The spiked branches of the abatis had left scratches on his arm; the charge up the scarp had John’s heart pounding.

They’d crept through the ditch and were approaching the final defenses of Redoubt Ten—a wall of sharp stakes, somewhat battered. A group of fools ahead of him was negotiating how best to storm the parapet. John held back. Apparently, the idiot in command of this maneuver wanted to lead the charge. Sutton, one of the other black men assigned to storm the redoubt, was hoisting him up.

Nothing to do but join them and hope for the best. Nothing to do but survive, fight, and return to his family before anything ill happened to them. Fight, survive—

John stilled, the chant in his head dying down.

There was a reason he let the background noise of battle fade to nothingness in his mind. It left room for wariness and suspicion. There. Behind them, back toward the abatis—there was a shadow.

It moved, man-shaped.

The person behind them was large and almost invisible, and he lay in wait. John’s comrades hadn’t noticed him. In their haste to get in, they’d all left themselves vulnerable.

All of them but him.

Damn it all to hell.

Silence and noise mingled in John’s head. Perhaps the gunfire from the feint on Fusiliers Redoubt a ways off was loud; perhaps it was nothing. Perhaps the man he saw screamed in defiance as John turned toward him; perhaps he was silent. 

Fight. Survive… Damn it.

There was no hope for it. John couldn’t wait to see what would happen. He lowered his weapon, said a prayer for his sister, should his soul become irreparably detached from his body, and sprinted back toward the shadowed branches of the abatis.

The man’s head tilted. John braced himself, waiting for the man to fire a weapon or raise a blade, but instead the fellow just waited in silence. One second. Two.

John crashed into him at full speed, driving his shoulder into the man’s chest. God, the other man was huge. The impact traveled bruisingly through his body. Still, John wasn’t exactly tiny himself. They fell together, hitting the ground. It took one moment to get his bayonet into position, another to drive it forward, blade seeking the other man’s belly.

It didn’t make contact. Instead, the fellow hit John on the head with the butt of his musket. John’s head rang; he shook it, pushed the echoing pain aside, and rolled out of the way of the next bayonet strike. 

There was no time to think, no time to come up with any plan except to survive the next instant, then the next. No room for fine blade work, either; John swung his musket like a staff.

The other man blocked the strike, and the force of gun barrel meeting gun barrel traveled up John’s arm. The battle had all but disappeared into a pinprick, into this moment between two men.

“God,” the other fellow said. “You’re strong.”

John refused to hear his words.

John had neither energy nor emotion to waste on conversation. Fight. Survive the war. Go back to Lizzie and Noah and his mother. He’d promised them he would—stupid promise, that—but he’d break the entire British Army before he broke that promise. Men who let their attention slip perished, and he had no intention of perishing. He gritted his teeth and tried to smash the other man’s head.

The other man ducked out of the way. “Nice weather for a siege, isn’t it?”

John’s almost perfect concentration slipped. What the devil was that supposed to mean? Nice weather for a siege? Did that mean the weather was good—it wasn’t—or that bad weather was preferable during a siege? And what did preferable even mean between the two of them? Siegers and the besieged had different preferences.

Ah, damn it.

This was why John couldn’t let himself listen to battle. Anything—everything—could be a distraction. He shook his head instead and threw his entire weight behind his next strike.

It wasn’t enough; the other man was taller and heavier, and their bayonets crossed once more. He was close enough to see features—stubble on cheeks, sharp nose, the glint of some distant bombardment reflected in the man’s eyes. They held their places for a moment, shoulders braced together, their heaving breaths temporarily synchronized.

“It’s your turn,” the man said with an unholy degree of cheer. “I remarked on the weather. Etiquette demands that you say something in return.”

For a moment, John stared at the fellow in utter confusion. “I’m bloody trying to kill you. This is a battle, not a ball.” 

He pivoted on one foot, putting his entire back into whirling his weapon. This time he managed to whack the other man’s stomach. A blow—not a hard one, he hadn’t the space to gather momentum—but enough that the fellow grunted and staggered back a pace.

“Yes,” the man said, recovering his balance all too quickly, “true, completely true, we are trying to commit murder upon each other. That doesn’t mean that we need to be impolite about it.”

Fucking British. Would he call a halt to take tea, too?

“If you prefer,” the man continued, sidestepping another blow, “you could try, ‘Die, imperialist scum.’ The moniker is somewhat lacking in friendly appeal, but it has the benefit of being true. I own it; we are imperialist scum.”

What the hell?

“But aren’t we both?” The conversation, like the battle, seemed interminable. “You colonials are displacing natives as well. I will give you this point. You’d be quite right not to use that particular insult. It would be rather hypocritical.”

Not for John, it wouldn’t. His presence in this land could not be put down to any volition on the part of his black mother, who was the only ancestor the colonials counted. But now was not a time for the fine nuances of that particular discussion. It was not, in fact, the time for any discussion at all. 

He swung his musket again, heard the crack of the weapon against the barrel of the other man’s musket.

“It just goes to show. Politics is obviously not a good choice of conversation among strangers, I suppose. My father always did say that, and damn his soul, he is occasionally right. What of books? Have you read anything recently?”

There were still a few soldiers making their way through the abatis, streaming past them. One went by now, glancing in their direction.

“Can’t we try to kill each other in silence?” John snuck out a foot, attempting to trip the other man. His enemy danced away.

“Ah, is that it?” The man brightened. “I see. You can’t fight and talk at the same time? My friend, Lieutenant Radley, was exactly the same way. I drove him mad, he used to say.”

Used to? Ha. As if anyone could ever become accustomed to this jibber-jabber.

“He died in battle,” the other man continued, “so possibly he was right. You probably shouldn’t listen to my advice on this score. I don’t have the best record.”

Their weapons crossed again.

“Except”—unbelievably, he was still talking—“I obviously should not have told you that. I’ve given away an important advantage. Damn it. My father was right again. ‘Think before you speak,’ he always used to say. I hate when my father is right.”

John didn’t want to think of this man as someone with family, with friends. War was hell enough when you were just killing nameless, faceless individuals. 

There was nothing to do but get it over with as quickly as possible, before he started thinking of his enemy as a person.

He threw himself forward, caught the other man’s shoulder with his, and managed to send him off balance. A moment, just a moment; enough for John to clip his hand smartly with the butt of his musket. The weapon the man had been holding went flying. John hooked one foot around the man’s ankle; his opponent landed flat on his back. John pushed the tip of his blade into the man’s throat.

The man’s hands immediately shot above his head. “I surrender the redoubt!”

John froze in place. “Have you the authority to do that?”

“No,” the other man answered, “but let’s be honest, it’s only a matter of time, don’t you think? Excellent tactics on your part. I almost didn’t see you coming. Somebody ought to surrender it eventually. Why not me?”

“Sorry,” John said, and it was quite possibly the first time he’d ever apologized to an enemy on the battlefield. “I’m going to have to kill you.”

“Ah, well,” the other man said. “You know your duty. Be quick about it, if you must. Better me than you, don’t you think?”

Literally no other person had ever said that to John on the battlefield. John frowned down at the man in front of him, and…

And, oh Christ. He suddenly realized that he’d heard of this man. His friend Marcelo had mentioned something about encountering him before. British officer. Tall. Meaty. Blond. He’d chalked the tale up to campfire boasting. When he’d heard there was a madman who couldn’t stop talking, John had imagined something along the lines of a berserker, frothing at the mouth. He hadn’t expected a mere prattle-basket. 

“I think it’s better me than you,” John said, frowning down at the man. “You can’t possibly agree.” 

A flare from the battle reflected in the other man’s eyes, temporarily illuminating him. John didn’t want to see his face. He didn’t want to see the haunted expression in his eyes. He didn’t want to remember him as a person. He should never have let the clamor of battle give way to the sound of conversation, because he suspected that the tone of this man’s voice—all gravel and regret—would stay with him all the rest of his days.

“Don’t make me go back,” the man said, so at odds with his cheery conversation on politics. “I can’t go back to England. Dying is not my preferred form of non-return, but for the past months it’s the only one I’ve been able to think of.”

John tightened his grip on the musket. He couldn’t listen. He couldn’t think. In battle, he could only allow himself to be a husk, an automaton. Fight. Survive. Killing was a necessary part of war. He’d learned not to look too hard at his enemies, not to ask too many questions. He’d learned not to let himself dwell too much on the men who perished at the other end of his musket.

It was always a mistake to listen during battle. Here he was, hesitating, when it was either John or the man who’d asked him about books and the weather. He could make it painless—as painless as death by bayonet ever was.

The man gave him a sad smile. “It’s nice weather for dying, isn’t it?”

He was lying. He had to be lying. This was the sort of thing for a lying officer to do—to converse politely, as if manners meant a damned thing on the battlefield. John pushed his bayonet down a quarter inch.

“Go on,” the man said. 

His permission made it even harder. John didn’t want to do it, but it was John or the prattle-basket, John or the prattle-basket, and John had come too far to perish now. 

A bugle sounded.

John looked up into chaos. He could hear cheers, could see the lieutenant colonel in charge of this attack—Hamilton, was it not?—clapping one of the soldiers on the back. Ah, the idiot in command had survived storming the parapet after all. While John had been fighting, his fellow soldiers had stormed the redoubt and taken it.

It was done. They’d won.

He eased up on the bayonet. “It’s your lucky day. You’re a prisoner now, instead of a dead man.”

“No.” The man’s hand clasped around the musket barrel, holding the bayonet in place. “No. You have to do it.”

“What?” John stared at him.

“You have to do it,” the man instructed. “Do you understand? If you Americans take the redoubt, Yorktown falls. If Yorktown falls, the war is over. If you don’t kill me now, they’ll make me go back to Britain, and I can’t go back.”

“Can’t?” John swallowed and looked down.

“Can’t.” The man shut his eyes.

They’d called him a madman, and John had imagined a demon on the battlefield, not a man who talked of politics.

Perhaps it was mad to prefer death to a return to a place that could never be called home, but if that was madness, it was a madness John knew. He’d once been enslaved. He knew what it was like to yearn for freedom, to prefer death to a return to a state that robbed him of choice, of freedom, of humanity. The fellow was obviously given to dramatics. John doubted anything so horrid waited for him back in England. Still… He understood.

He didn’t want to have anything in common with a blond British officer…but he did.

He should take the man prisoner. Should call for reinforcements. Who knew what this man would do if John gave him the opportunity?

“I can’t go back,” the man said again.

John should never have listened. Damn it, damn it, damn it. He swore and threw down his weapon.

The man struggled, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Then don’t.” John took off his coat. “Here.” He held the garment out.

It wasn’t much—a bit tattered, and God knew what it smelled like; John couldn’t detect the stench any longer.

The man stared at it.

“It’s not red.” John shook the coat. “It’s a mess out there as it is. Get muddy enough and nobody will know who you are. If you don’t want to go back to Britain, turn into an American. You talk enough; I’m sure you can come up with a believable lie. Get out of here. Don’t go back.”

The man stared at him. “Why would you let me go? I’m the enemy.”

“Enemy?” John rolled his eyes. “Take a good look at me. I have little love for…what did you call them? The colonial brand of imperialist scum. I have no enemies, just people I fight on a battlefield.”

The officer sat up. Looked at John. John knew what he was seeing—not the broad shoulders, not the determination John knew flashed in his own eyes, nor the set of his square jaw. No, this blond prattler who talked of manners and politics would see only the brown of his skin. 

John was an idiot to offer anything. But he knew too well what it was like to have no hope of help and to find it anyway.

Here, he thought to the woman at the well who had shaken her head, denying his existence to the man who sought John. John had crouched hidden behind the bushes until the threat had passed. She’d looked at him then. She hadn’t spoken; she’d only nodded and left, as if she hadn’t changed his life with that simple denial. Here. I’m paying you back for that after all. 

“I don’t want to talk to you,” John said. “I don’t want to be your friend. I’ll kill you on the battlefield if I have to. But if you’re desperate enough to die, you’re desperate enough to abscond. If you don’t want to go back, get rid of your damned officer’s coat and take mine.”

The man stared up at him. He looked at the coat, at the musket that John had tossed aside.

Slowly, he took John’s coat. “I won’t forget this,” he said. “I’ll pay you back someday.”

John had heard that particular promise before. He’d heard it when he saved his father from being crushed by a falling mast. He’d heard it when he’d rescued another man in the Rhode Island First on the battlefield. Half the time, white men didn’t even bother with empty words to assuage their consciences—at least not to the likes of him. The other half? They never remembered their promises. They didn’t have to.

John shook his head. “Don’t bother.”

“John?” Elijah’s call came from further in. “John, is that you down there? Are you wounded?”

He turned, leaving the British officer alone with his coat. He was already faintly regretting his choice—the late-autumn night was cold enough that he’d want that coat before morning struck.

He would never see the man again. 

In the dark of the night, the man had no idea what John even looked like. Even if it were day, he’d never be able to distinguish John from any other black man. White men rarely could.

“I’m Henry,” the officer called after him. “Henry Latham, at your service.”

Henry Latham no doubt thought he was an honorable fellow. He’d tell himself that one day he’d return the favor, just as he assiduously avoided contact with anyone who looked like John. There was little use puncturing his illusions.

John knew that the roll of his eyes was hidden by the night, so he took care to imbue an extra dose of sarcasm in his tone. “I’ll be sure to remember that.” 

“John?” Elijah was coming closer. “John, are you well?”

“I’m alive,” John called in return. “Alive and unharmed.” His body was already protesting the unharmed designation, his shoulder twingeing, his head still hurting.

Ha. He had already forgotten the name. He’d never hear from the man again.



Once, the Worth family was one of the most respected in England.

Then the head of that family, the Earl of Chatford, was discovered to be the ringleader of a treasonous plot. He was stripped of his title and properties, and only escaped execution because he committed suicide. Anthony Worth, the eldest son, was also implicated--and while treason could not be proven, he was convicted of theft and ordered transported. That left the younger children--Judith, Camilla, Benedict, and Theresa--alone in the world, with no friends, no skills, no property, and no future.

Meanwhile, when Anthony Worth’s ship landed in Australia, he was no longer on board. He had vanished without a trace.

The Worth Saga is the story of the Worth family--all of them. I’m calling it the Worth Saga because while the series tells the story of the Worth family, not all the books in the series will be about Worth family members. It’s really the story of the Worth family, another family (not yet introduced), and a business conglomerate. Anything more would be spoilery.

There will be more books in the series than those listed above. She'll announce additional books as she finalize titles and covers.



Courtney Milan
Courtney Milan writes books about carriages, corsets, and smartwatches. Her books have received starred reviews in Publishers Weekly, Library Journal, and Booklist. She is a New York Times and a USA Today Bestseller.

Courtney pens a weekly newsletter about tea, books, and basically anything and everything else. Sign up for it here.

Before she started writing romance, Courtney got a graduate degree in theoretical physical chemistry from UC Berkeley. After that, just to shake things up, she went to law school at the University of Michigan and graduated summa cum laude. Then she did a handful of clerkships. She was a law professor for a while. She now writes full-time.


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The Pursuit of . . . #2.5

The Worth Saga
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Tuesday, April 14, 2026

March Book of the Month: Be My Monster by Davidson King



Summary:

Born without the ability to feel pain or fear, Pennsylvania has lived his life believing he’s a monster and a freak. Because most people either keep their distance or are cruel, Penn has spent the last few years wandering from town to town, never putting down roots, never letting anyone know who he really is. Then one night he steps out of the shadows and into the light to save children from a burning house, not knowing he’s saving a mob boss’s kids. That split-second decision changes everything for Penn.

Gideon is a dangerous and powerful man trying to keep his territory profitable and safe, and it’s been peaceful for the last couple of years. Though raising twins as a widower is hard, at least he has family to help him. Family is everything to Gideon, so when someone tries to take them away from him, the once quiet streets turn into chaos. Determined to find his family’s savior, Gideon discovers so much more. His heart, which has felt like it’s barely beat since his wife died, comes to life again when he looks into Penn’s eyes for the first time…the man who risked everything to save his family.

With a war on the horizon, Gideon and Penn have to navigate staying alive, figuring out if there’s a future for them, and destroying the real monsters trying to dismantle everything Gideon’s built.



Davidson King has once again proven she is the Queen of Mayhem. Be My Monster is danger personified and lets face it, despite what Gideon calls himself, it's a mafia setting, or at least maifa-ishπŸ˜‰. Now, there are several mafia-style books out there so you might be wondering what makes King's stories stand out? Honestly, it's the heart of the characters. If you live in that life, I think its safe to say you aren't reading this review so I think it's equally safe for me to say none of us can speak from personal experience and doubt any of us will ever face that kind of danger in our lifetime and she creates these characters we'll never meet in our daily lives and yet, you feel as if you could. Her characters are a mixture of OTT-can't-possibly-be-real and family-is-everything-could-be-my-brother-from-another-mother and it's that bat-crap crazy which makes King's mayhem stand above the rest.

I'm not going to talk specifics about the danger the author has created within the pages of Be My Monster so as not to spoil anything but know that it doesn't slow down at all, fast-paced, adrenaline-pumping, knee-bouncing grit that hooks you quick and doesn't let go. When I swiped the last page, I was not prepared to say goodbye.

How can one not love Penn? He is just so darn lovely, I want to wrap him in bubblewrap and never let him go. I think in general most people are inherently good and want to do the right thing with little to no recognition, or at least I'm that way. I would help others, as Penn does when coming across a burning home, and though my reasons behind it may differ, I'd be happy to slip away with my identity unnoticed as I'm definitely on the introverted side. This plays a huge part in what connected me to the character(I'll mention a little more on connecting to Penn further down) and added to the heart I stated above.  

As for Gideon, despite his penchant for provoked violence, and "provoked" is very important here and also adds to what I mentioned in the beginning of this review, I think he is also very freakn' lovely.  Family seems to control his every action, or reaction in some cases, and I can certainly relate to that aspect of his character.  Don't get me wrong, he is no pushover and he has no qualms about letting his monster side out when it needs exercising but he is not fueled by power for the sake of power.

Throw these two guys together and the result is explosive, a well balanced journey.  I just learned this morning there are plans for further Penn/Gideon stories and I'm ready to reserve my seat to hitch a ride whenever they let the author in on more of their tales.

As for the supporting cast, well the kids are super uber adorable. Kids can be tricky to write, too often they either come off as spoiled brats who need a hard timeout or sugary sweet they should be living in the dentist's waiting room. Olivia, Owen, and Mateo are definitely the kind of kids you wished you saw more of in stores and restaurants, energetic but respectful. Little Olivia is a spitfire and I have a feeling she'd be the sure fire fit to take over Gideon's position if it really was a mafia household, which we all know it's notπŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰.

I can't mention this next part without a little personal backstory so #sorrynotsorry. I have no experience with the very rare no fear & no pain gene mutation, FAAH-OUT, Penn lives with, I do however have extensive experience with peripheral neuropathy, which is not "no pain" and certainly not "no fear" but it does come with similar warnings. Both of my parents deal/dealt with neuropathy(my mother who passed away last year lived with it for 20+ and my dad only the past couple) where the limbs, legs and hands, are numb so even though there is technically no pain there is more accurately "no feeling" or complete numbness. Most recently my dad, for example, was testing the softness of the pasta I was cooking for him and his fingers came out wet. Luckily I had turned the temp down so there was no lasting damage but he never felt the near boiling temp or even the wetness. We all wish we didn't feel pain, it sounds like a very good thing actually but what most of us don't think about is pain is how our bodies tell us something is wrong so having no feeling of pain is in fact a very bad thing. I mention this, probably wordier than needed to be, because I want to commend and thank the author for getting this danger behind no pain concept spot on. I also want to talk about a scene towards the end, Penn has a memory flashback of sitting at Tenny's bedside telling her he wished he could take her pain away and Tenny responding "I wouldn't let you", it's as if the author was inside my head because I can't begin to guess how many times I said that to my mother over the years with her chronic pair and that was always her response as well, “I wouldn’t let you, Heather”.  I mention this because, yes, that simple line made the tears fall uncontrollably at the memories it brought to mind, it also speaks to the realism behind the characters and helped me connect to them. So thank you, Davidson King for a great story but more importantly, the research and respect you put into the "little details" that connect readers and characters.

RATING:




PROLOGUE
Past
“This is not a typical situation, Tenny. His parents clearly know people and have the money to make this happen so easily for them.”

“I don’t understand, sir. Why would they put their five-year-old son up for adoption? Has he done something? Have they?”

I sat on the bed, my back to them as I stared out the window. My focus was on the pond across the way and the group of ducklings swimming in circles around their parents. Did they love their ducklings?

“The file I was given says very little, Tenny. It does say he isn’t dangerous, just…different. They couldn’t deal with him.” That last part was said under the older man’s breath.

I’d glanced at the two adults as they’d come in. One was older like my grandpa before he died. The other was a real pretty Black lady with braids and a friendly expression. She was older than Mommy but not by much.

“And you want me to talk with him?”

“Please, Tenny. You have a way about you.”

She sighed. I was used to that sound—Mommy and Daddy did that anytime I did something I wasn’t supposed to do.

Footsteps approached, and I dropped my gaze to the floor. A pair of Mary Janes came into view, but I didn’t look up.

“Hey there, Mitchell. My name is Tennessee. It’s real nice to meet you.” She held out her hand. Daddy always said that was a polite way to greet people, so I took her hand and shook it.

“May I sit down?” She motioned to the spot beside me, and I shrugged. I didn’t care.

She was quiet for a bit, and then she finally spoke. “This feels like an unfair situation, doesn’t it, Mitchell?”

Slowly, I turned my head to peer up at her. Honey-brown eyes glimmered, and a small smile played on light-pink painted lips.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“I bet you’re feeling all sorts of ways, am I right?” I nodded and she hummed. “I have no doubt about that. I can’t imagine all that’s buzzing around that head of yours, but you know what, Mitchell?”

“What?”

“I’d like to find out. I know you don’t believe this, or me, and likely all trust for everything has been thrown out the window, but I want you to know I’m here for you, and I’ll wait as long as I have to for you to believe me.”

I didn’t believe her. I didn’t believe anyone. Mommy and Daddy would tell me they loved me; then I’d hear them tell people I was a monster, a freak. I didn’t understand why. I was sure Tennessee would find out soon enough.

I looked out the window once again. The ducks were gone, and even though Tennessee sat beside me, I felt alone.


“Go on now. Lift your shirt and let me see your back—you know the routine.” Tennessee spun me, forcing me to laugh. I lifted my shirt as she’d ordered, and she hummed. “Good, good. Okay, go wash those filthy hands and help me snap these green beans.”

“Okay, Tenny.” I rushed up the stairs. I’d lived at Sunshine House for five years, and in all that time Tennessee had been right beside me.

She was determined to get inside my head, and she asked a lot of questions. I didn’t know why my parents stopped loving me or why they thought I was a monster. It had taken time for her to break the mold with me, but eventually she did, and she’d always reiterated to me that I wasn’t a monster but that I was special.

She never gave up on me and dragged me to more doctors than I’d ever cared to see again. It wasn’t until I was eight years old that we’d gotten some answers about why I was so weird.

“He has a gene mutation called FAAH-OUT. It’s extremely rare and was quite hard to determine” a doctor had diagnosed, and immediately I’d thought I was one of the X-Men, and how cool was that?

Then came the serious talk. We’d gotten back to Sunshine House, and Tennessee told me to join her at the kitchen table.

“I didn’t really notice it all before. I knew there was something unique about you, Mitchell. You don’t get scared about anything. Thunder, loud noises—heck, that bonfire last summer got crazy, and you didn’t even flinch. Last year you fell from that tree house, broke your arm. You didn’t cry, promised it didn’t hurt. You even healed faster than the doctor thought you would. Now I understand why.”

Apparently, this gene mutation allowed me to feel virtually no pain, and no fear, and I healed faster than others. This mutation was so rare that there were only a few cases worldwide…like seriously, only a few.

Tennessee explained things that I should be wary of—like fire, things that could potentially harm me. And because I felt no pain, she made sure I checked myself over every day, twice a day, and any time I did something that could hurt me.

She told me all the time that I wasn’t a monster or a freak. Mostly, I believed her. But the kids in school thought I was weird. I guess my mutation showed or something, I dunno.

I was sitting at the table, helping Tennessee with dinner, when I got up the nerve to ask her a question that had been poking around my brain.

“Hey, Tenny?”

“Mmhmm?”

“Remember that time you told me all the people in your family were named after states?”

She smiled. “I did say something like that. Not everyone, though. My brothers Dakota and Montana, yes, and then me, Tennessee. All because my daddy’s name was Washington. But my mama, her name was Charlotte.”

“I like that. Um…I was wondering…if it’s okay with you, and if you say no, I understand.”

She dropped her green beans onto the towel and took my hand. “Whatever it is, Mitchell, you go on and say it. You know there’s nothing you can’t ask me.”

“Ok, maybe once I’m eighteen, and I’m an adult, I can change my name.”

She cocked her head. “You want to get rid of your name, Mitchell?”

I nodded. “My parents named me that, and they didn’t want me. I hate hearing my name.”

She pursed her lips and smirked. “What name were you thinkin’?”

She wasn’t saying no yet, but as soon as she heard the name and why, would she reject it, not wanting me to be part of her family traditions?

“I was thinking Pennsylvania? Penn for short, like people call you Tenny.”

“You want to…” She covered her mouth with her hand and I braced for rejection, but it didn’t come. A single tear fell down her cheek. “Why do you want that name, dear boy?”

I took a deep breath. “I want to be your family, Tenny, and it makes me feel like I am every time I think of my name as Pennsylvania.”

She wiped her cheek and beamed. “When you turn eighteen, if you still feel that way, I’ll help you change your name. I’d be honored…Penn.”

She never called me Mitchell again. Only Penn—or if I was in trouble, Pennsylvania. And two days after my eighteenth birthday, she kept her word. Soon enough, Mitchell was officially dead and Pennsylvania was born.



Davidson King
Davidson King, always had a hope that someday her daydreams would become real-life stories. As a child, you would often find her in her own world, thinking up the most insane situations. It may have taken her awhile, but she made her dream come true with her first published work, Snow Falling.

She managed to wrangle herself a husband who matched her crazy and they hatched three wonderful children.

If you were to ask her what gave her the courage to finally publish, she’d tell you it was her amazing family and friends. Support is vital in all things and when you’re afraid of your dreams, it will be your cheering section that will lift you up.


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Monday, April 13, 2026

Monday's Memorial Moment: Cigars in the Parlor by Shane Michaels




Summary:

When Kit Walker’s leg is shattered at the Battle of Manassas, he finds himself on Doctor Wallace Sanger’s operating table. Wallace saves his life but removes his leg. As his wounds mend, the two men find more than comfort as they explore each other's hidden desires.

From the battlefields of Manassas, Virginia, to the Union prison in Elmira, New York, author Shane Michaels explores the hidden world of men loving men during the American Civil War. In this erotic tale of lust, love, and sacrifice, two men find solace in each other’s arms - and other's arms - as they are caught between the splintered world of the Union and the Confederacy.

Explicit dark romance for men who love men. This novel was previously released on Amazon in a serialized format. This version is the complete novel.





Original Review April 2021:
Cigars in the Parlor has been on my Kindle for a few years and just kept getting buried but I finally had a chance to read it.  I've never read this author before, which can always be a bit of a scary thing for some but for me it just adds to the adrenaline rush of discovery and possibilities.  I wasn't disappointed.  Cigars is a lovely blend of reality and fiction with the perfect balance of drama and sexy times.  It's easy to feel for Kit and his new found reality after losing his leg and the pull between him and Wallace, the doctor who saved his life, is believable and entertaining. As a historical lover it is always important when authors use little details to keep the era real, or as real as possible for dramatic fiction.  I'm not looking for a history lesson but those realistic elements help to not only set a scene but also sucks the reader into the story.  For those who don't think about LGBT in history terms, it's stories like Cigars in the Parlor that can open eyes and even though it's fiction it can pique a readers fascination and lead them to discover the truths of the era, I know that was one of the things that made me a history lover when I was in junior high.  As I hit the last page I was entertained and that is what is important, making this a worthwhile read.

RATING:





1. AFTER MANASSAS 
The storefront was hot. Dr. Wallace Sanger had been working all day, the pile of limbs growing with every soldier that was brought into the room. It was a senseless war. He grew angrier with every stroke of the saw – so many men in their prime hobbled before they had even lived. Dr. Sanger didn’t understand why Lincoln was insistent on keeping Virginia in the Union. Every one of the poor souls on his table had been chasing some inane vision of the South that they did not really understand. Freedom. Slavery. States Rights. Self-determination. These words meant very little when there was a bone-saw your hand. 

Two soldiers brought in one last patient on a stretcher, placing him on the operating table. 

“Doc… I don’t want to lose my leg. Please.” 

The man was clearly in great pain. His head was warm and he was covered in sweat. Fever coursed through him. 

“It’s infected. You’ll die if I don’t.” 

Wallace looked at his patient wearily. He noticed the man’s deep blue eyes. “What’s your name?” 

“Kit… Kit Walker.” 

“I’m Doctor Wallace Sanger.”

The man was shaking. Wallace spoke in a low voice. “I wish we could have met under different circumstances,” he said, “I’m sorry to have to do this but it’s for the best.” 

“Doc, please.” 

“You do want to live don’t you?” 

Kit said nothing. 

Wallace and Kit were about the same age. If he had not gone to the university, the doctor realized that it might have been him on that table. Wallace studied the soldier. Kit seemed familiar, like an old friend. Wallace guessed that he had once been quite handsome – but it was clear that his body had been ravaged by cold nights in tents and meager rations. Only his beard showed signs of life - bushy and red. 

Wallace cut the hem of Kit’s trousers and then ripped the fabric up the length of his leg, revealing gangrene already above the knee. Kit had been shot, his bone shattered. Wallace removed the filthy bandage and examined the limb closely. He needed to cut above the knee instead of below. He picked up the bottle of chloroform. “Is this all we have left?” 

Kit had fear in his eyes as he stared at the brown bottle. 

His nurse answered him, “Yes. I asked them to bring more but they said that’s all we’ve got.”

Wallace nodded. “Kit, I’m going to put you under to do this. I don’t want you to worry. We’re going to take good care of you. You’re going to live. I promise. Hear me?” 

“What happens to my leg?” Kit asked. 

“We bury it with the rest of them. Now, just lean back and close your eyes.” 

Kit sobbed gently. His life was about to change, but at least he could leave the war. Wallace took a clean piece of cotton and turned the bottle upside down over it until it was saturated. He took the rag and held it over Kit’s face until the man was unconscious. 

Wallace had a routine now. He had learned to do the job quickly before the men awoke. He knew to leave a flap of extra skin. He would cut through the muscle until he found the bone and then use strong, firm strokes to saw it in two. He sweated as he did this, the nurse wiping his brow. It took less than a minute to separate the flesh from its owner, tossing the heavy limb onto a table next to him with a thud. One of the soldiers picked it up and took it outside as the nurse helped him to stop the bleeding. He sewed quickly until the flap of skin was neatly sealed over the wound. She helped him dress the stump with clean cotton and a compression bandage to control the bleeding. 

“Take him into the church,” Wallace said, motioning to the soldiers. 

They picked up the stretcher and carried Kit out the front door of the storefront, across the street, up the steps of the church, and into the nave of the church where he was laid on a cot among the dozens of other men.

Wallace took a deep breath. When he went to medical school, he thought he would be dealing with old men having cases of gout and young women having their first child. He never dreamed his first year after medical school would be spent in the fields of Virginia sawing the limbs off young men. He was happy to be away from the warfront, working in town where bullets did not fly. As difficult as it was, it seemed much kinder here. 

The nurse had filled a pan with water for him to wash; the blood on his hands immediately stained it red. His apron was covered with many men’s blood; he carefully undid the knot at his back, folded his apron, and placed it on the table. He took the pan and threw the water outside into the street and then poured fresh more to wash his face. He hated to walk into the church covered in blood; his patients needed to forget what they had lost. 

He went outside into the street. He could already hear men wailing in agony inside the church. He pulled his pocket watch out and looked at the time; he was starving but knew he had to make his rounds first. There was much to do. 

Wallace walked up the steps into the church where row after row of men lay on cots. He proceeded to visit one and then the next, stopping to see if any infections had taken hold. The room was crowded and the air still. Women from town fretted to and fro, wiping one man’s brow, feeding another, emptying a bed pan. Each nodded as the doctor passed. 

Wallace noticed Kit lying on a cot in the last row, under a stained glass window of Adam reaching out to God. Kit was beginning wake, looking about the room groggily. The light shone on his face, his hair glowing like a bonfire. Wallace was compelled to sit with him. 

“Shhh… Kit. You’re okay. Just lie still,” he said. 

Kit’s eyes opened. 

A woman walked by. “Nurse, this man needs morphine.” 

“We don’t have any,” she said, “We don’t have much of anything left.” 

Wallace could tell Kit was overwhelmed by the pain. He took his hand. “I know it hurts. I’m here for you. Just like I promised.” 

Kit looked up at the man. Dr. Sanger was tall and handsome. His face was silhouetted in the light; Kit thought he might have some Cherokee in him, his hair thick and black and his jaw strong. The light poured over the doctor, shining through the thin cotton shirt he wore, damp with sweat. 

As the chloroform wore off, the pain grew worse. Wallace wiped Kit’s brow. 

“There now, squeeze my hand when it gets bad.” 

* * * * *

Wallace was exhausted but he sat with Kit for hours. He had so many patients that day, but Kit called to him. When Kit finally fell asleep, the room was dark, lit only by candles hung on the wall. A few nurses still shuffled about. 

“Doctor, shouldn’t you go home?” a nurse asked, “You’ve been here for hours.” 

Wallace nodded his head. His new friend was finally asleep. He got up from his stool and made the walk through town back to his room.

Betsy Marple was renting him a room in her home. She was two year’s a widow – and he suspected that she was trying to find a second husband. He was terrified that he had given her the wrong impression – that he was smitten with her. “Where have you been?” she said as he entered, “I was worried about you.” 

“I had a very bad day. There were so many today.” 

Betsy had saved dinner for him. It sat on the table, covered with a napkin. “Here. Eat something,” she said, “You need your strength.” 

Wallace did as she asked. The beef was cold but filling. 

“Just leave the plate. I’ll get it in the morning,” she said. 

Betsy went up to her room. He quickly finished eating and pulled himself up the stairs to his bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him. He found a handkerchief and put it on the nightstand. His clothes stank and he threw them to the floor before blowing out the lamp. The room was too hot; the mattress, hard. He was tired but could not sleep. 

He saw Kit as he closed his eyes. He imagined what the man had looked like before the war started – his muscles strong, his smile full of white teeth, and his red hair full and clean. He was certain that Kit had been quite popular with the ladies – and maybe the men. It had been so long since he held another man. 

A year earlier the doctor might have exchanged glances with Kit on the street. They would have chatted about the weather and asked each other if they were courting a lady. One would have said no; the other, likewise. They would have laughed and looked at each other, stealing glances until their glances coincided and melted together into a single pool of acknowledgement. 

Kit’s eyes flashed again. Wallace felt his cock grow hard. He imagined himself running his hands along Kit’s strong chest, feeling muscle beneath his fingers, silky smooth. Kit would pull him close, pushing his head onto his nipple. 

Wallace wrapped his hand around his cock as he imagined finding Kit standing in an alley with him, the two pawing at each other like animals. The doctor would fall to his knees, his pants getting stained on the filthy cobblestone. Next, he would unbutton Kit’s fly, freeing the soldier’s cock and the tangle of his red bush. He would nibble at it gently, teasing him, until the man could take no more. Kit would grab his head and shove his cock deep into Wallace’s mouth. Wallace imagined the saltiness of it, his hands wrapped around Kit. He would pull the soldier’s pants down and feel the hard muscles of his calves and the soft fur of his ass. 

Wallace imagined all this, jacking his cock with urgency. He needed release. 

He pictured Kit standing there, continuing to pound away at his mouth. Kit would moan softly as he came. Wallace increased his pace, his eyes closed, picturing the fantasy in his head, until he felt the world wash over him. He felt his own warm cum pulse onto his chest and his mouth. 

He sat there motionless, covered in sweat as his breathing slowed. He stared at the blank ceiling. Finally, Wallace reached for the handkerchief and wiped his skin clean. Only then did he realize how long it had been since he had climaxed.

Wallace cringed when he realized the source of his fantasy – the man whose leg he had dismembered hours earlier. As he fell asleep, he wondered what would happen to this beautiful man.



Shane Michaels

With a passion for untold history, Shane Michaels looks for details that hint at the hidden lives of gay men in days past. Though he now lives in a remote community in the northeast, his roots are in the South. His first erotic romance, 'Cigars in the Parlor', delves into life in Virginia during the American Civil War. The story tells of a doctor and soldier that fall in love under tragic circumstances. His second novella, 'TransAlaska' tells of a trans-woman who falls for a hunky gold-miner in rural Alaska in the 1990s. His 2023 release of 'The Milkman', tells the story of two men trying to find love in a small town during the lavender scare of the 1950s. ‘Kushtaka’ is the story of two desperate goldminers finding love during the Yukon Goldrush while enduring a jealous ghost. Shane has also published a number of short stories.