Sunday, December 2, 2018
Sunday's Short Stack: Goldilocks and the Bear by Clare London
One week, two men, three Christmas trees.
And hopefully a fairytale romance.
I'm not going to say too much about Goldilocks and the Bear other than it's pure fun! Clare London has managed to combine sweet, fun, holiday, heat, and a touch reminiscent of youthful fairytales all in under 40 pages. A true rom-com holiday gem that is well worth the time and cost that will put a smile on your face from the minute Bruin comes busting in with a way-too-big tree at the wrong address and Gil's attraction to the big tree stranger at his door and keep it there till the end.
RATING:
We both turned to stare at the tree behind him. The lower half, including the thick trunk, had come easily over the doorstep, but at some stage the netting that kept it in place had torn, and the branches had sprung free. They stretched either side of the doorway, at their full extent, and inside the cafĂ©. One side reached half way up the open door, now pressed flat against the wall, and the other side had upended two chairs at a front table. Behind them, still on the pavement outside, the branches from further up the tree had mushroomed out like the upper half of an egg timerâwith the cafĂ© doorway as the squeezed middle. It was a magnificent tree: its needles shone a bright, clean green. The trunk was sturdy, copper-toned wood. The whole thing reeked of health and beauty and Christmas spirit.
And it was crushed up in my cafĂ©âs doorframe until I was afraid the old wood would split asunder. I may even have heard it creak in protest.
The man-bear shook his head and shoved the delivery note back into his pocket. âLooks like they directed me to the wrong shop.â
âWell, obviously, because I never ordered itââ
âIn fact,â Molly broke in. âGil hasnât ordered a tree at all this year.â
âNo tree at all?â The giant man looked momentarily disconcertedâor was that disapproving? âYou donât like Christmas?â
âI like it well enough,â I muttered. âBut as you can see, thereâs little enough space here.â I could only afford this small unit on the outskirts of a small Essex shopping mall. It was last Christmasâ gift to myself, the best I could do when Paulie, my partnerâin business and romanceâhad scarpered with most of my savings to set up a bar in Ibiza. Without me, in either capacity. But life has to go on, right? I just downsized my dreams from our swish supper club venue to my small local cafĂ©. After installing the counter and display cases, and covering two of the other walls with bookshelves for the romance novels I loved to read and share with customers, there wasnât much room left for tables and chairs, let alone ambitious decorations.
Over the giantâs left shoulder, I could see old Mr. Brooke hopping from one foot to another as he peered into the shop past the branches. He was a creature of habit, and he always had his caramel latte at this time of the afternoon. If he could get into the cafĂ©, that was. Behind me, a half-dozen members of the Womenâs Institute Book Club stirred restlessly, and two pre-school boys had wriggled out of their mothersâ clutches and were gleefully stabbing a pile of paper napkins with a stray pine stalk.
âSo. Anyway. You have to do something about this!â My voice seemed to be higher than usual.
He shrugged, his grin now rueful. âNot a lot I can do, at the moment. Itâs well and truly stuck.â He tugged on the trunk as if to convince me further and, yes, I definitely heard the doorframe creak. âShould have realised the measurements didnât add up. All I can do is apologise and arrange to have someone come and cut it out as soon as possible.â He rummaged in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. His fingers darted over the keys as fast as any teenager, sending a quick message. My gaze was still fixed on the backs of his handsâstrong, with more than a smattering of dark hair over the lower digitsâwhen I realised what heâd said.
âBut it canât stay there! My customers canât get outââ
âI can open the back door,â Molly offered helpfully, or not, as the case may be.
ââand no one can get in, either. This is Christmas week, with all the passing trade from shoppers. I have a full schedule of seasonal events, and those new snowflake cupcakes on offer!â
The manâs pupils dilated. âThere are cupcakes?â
For Godâs sake. Again. Was no one taking this crisis seriously?
âWe could cut the branches off right now,â said a voice at my ear. Mrs. Potter from the Book Club had crept up beside me without me realising: no taller than five foot, no heavier than eight stone, and seventy-two last birthday. But the gleam in her eyes was worthy of a Steven King character at his most manic. âDo you have a chainsaw in the cafĂ©, Gil?â
âNo, I bloody donât!â
The giant was grinning at me, though heâd taken a cautious step away from Mrs. P. âPlease donât worry, maâam. Leave it to a professional. A guy from the garden centre is on his way with the right tools.â
âThe right tools are always useful.â Mrs. Potter gave a snort. When I snapped my gaze to her, she waggled her eyebrows and winked at me. Winked! What on earth was that all about? She knew, of course, I was gay and, yes, I had occasionally dated a customer, though it wasnât like I shared my social diaryâsparse as it wasâwith all and sundry. But this guy was just doing his job, wasnât he? This poor guy⊠this poor, buff, guy⊠this poor, buff, strong, hairy, handsome bear of a guyâŠ
A passing jab in the ribs from Mrs. P on her way back to the Book Club table, and I started to wonder if Iâd been wise to add more gay romance titles in with the historical bodice rippersâŠ
And it was crushed up in my cafĂ©âs doorframe until I was afraid the old wood would split asunder. I may even have heard it creak in protest.
The man-bear shook his head and shoved the delivery note back into his pocket. âLooks like they directed me to the wrong shop.â
âWell, obviously, because I never ordered itââ
âIn fact,â Molly broke in. âGil hasnât ordered a tree at all this year.â
âNo tree at all?â The giant man looked momentarily disconcertedâor was that disapproving? âYou donât like Christmas?â
âI like it well enough,â I muttered. âBut as you can see, thereâs little enough space here.â I could only afford this small unit on the outskirts of a small Essex shopping mall. It was last Christmasâ gift to myself, the best I could do when Paulie, my partnerâin business and romanceâhad scarpered with most of my savings to set up a bar in Ibiza. Without me, in either capacity. But life has to go on, right? I just downsized my dreams from our swish supper club venue to my small local cafĂ©. After installing the counter and display cases, and covering two of the other walls with bookshelves for the romance novels I loved to read and share with customers, there wasnât much room left for tables and chairs, let alone ambitious decorations.
Over the giantâs left shoulder, I could see old Mr. Brooke hopping from one foot to another as he peered into the shop past the branches. He was a creature of habit, and he always had his caramel latte at this time of the afternoon. If he could get into the cafĂ©, that was. Behind me, a half-dozen members of the Womenâs Institute Book Club stirred restlessly, and two pre-school boys had wriggled out of their mothersâ clutches and were gleefully stabbing a pile of paper napkins with a stray pine stalk.
âSo. Anyway. You have to do something about this!â My voice seemed to be higher than usual.
He shrugged, his grin now rueful. âNot a lot I can do, at the moment. Itâs well and truly stuck.â He tugged on the trunk as if to convince me further and, yes, I definitely heard the doorframe creak. âShould have realised the measurements didnât add up. All I can do is apologise and arrange to have someone come and cut it out as soon as possible.â He rummaged in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his phone. His fingers darted over the keys as fast as any teenager, sending a quick message. My gaze was still fixed on the backs of his handsâstrong, with more than a smattering of dark hair over the lower digitsâwhen I realised what heâd said.
âBut it canât stay there! My customers canât get outââ
âI can open the back door,â Molly offered helpfully, or not, as the case may be.
ââand no one can get in, either. This is Christmas week, with all the passing trade from shoppers. I have a full schedule of seasonal events, and those new snowflake cupcakes on offer!â
The manâs pupils dilated. âThere are cupcakes?â
For Godâs sake. Again. Was no one taking this crisis seriously?
âWe could cut the branches off right now,â said a voice at my ear. Mrs. Potter from the Book Club had crept up beside me without me realising: no taller than five foot, no heavier than eight stone, and seventy-two last birthday. But the gleam in her eyes was worthy of a Steven King character at his most manic. âDo you have a chainsaw in the cafĂ©, Gil?â
âNo, I bloody donât!â
The giant was grinning at me, though heâd taken a cautious step away from Mrs. P. âPlease donât worry, maâam. Leave it to a professional. A guy from the garden centre is on his way with the right tools.â
âThe right tools are always useful.â Mrs. Potter gave a snort. When I snapped my gaze to her, she waggled her eyebrows and winked at me. Winked! What on earth was that all about? She knew, of course, I was gay and, yes, I had occasionally dated a customer, though it wasnât like I shared my social diaryâsparse as it wasâwith all and sundry. But this guy was just doing his job, wasnât he? This poor guy⊠this poor, buff, guy⊠this poor, buff, strong, hairy, handsome bear of a guyâŠ
A passing jab in the ribs from Mrs. P on her way back to the Book Club table, and I started to wonder if Iâd been wise to add more gay romance titles in with the historical bodice rippersâŠ
Clare took the pen name London from the city where she lives, loves, and writes. A lone, brave female in a frenetic, testosterone-fuelled family home, she juggles her writing with her other day job as an accountant.
Sheâs written in many genres and across many settings, with award-winning novels and short stories published both online and in print. She says she likes variety in her writing while friends say sheâs just fickle, but as long as both theories spawn good fiction, sheâs happy. Most of her work features male/male romance and drama with a healthy serving of physical passion, as she enjoys both reading and writing about strong, sympathetic and sexy characters.
Clare currently has several novels sulking at that tricky chapter 3 stage and plenty of other projects in mind . . . she just has to find out where she left them in that frenetic, testosterone-fuelled family home.
All the details and free fiction are available at her website. Visit her today and say hello!
QUIDS & QUILLS / CARINA / B&N
EMAIL: clarelondon11@yahoo.co.uk
Release Blitz: A Soldier's Wish by NR Walker
Title: A Soldier's Wish
Author: NR Walker
Series: The Christmas Angel #5
Genre: M/M Romance, Historical, Holiday
Release Date: December 2, 2018
Cover Design: Meredith Russell
Summary:The year is 1969âŠ
Gary Fairchild is proud to be a hippie college student, and he protests the Vietnam War because he believes in love and peace. To him, it isnât just a counterculture movementâitâs a way of life. When tickets to the Aquarium Expositionâ3 Days of Peace & Music, or Woodstock, as it was better known, go on sale, thereâs no way he isnât going.
Richard Ronsman is a sheltered farm boy who lives in the shadow of his overbearing father. Heâs hidden his darkest secret to earn his fatherâs love, but nothing is ever good enoughânot even volunteering for the Vietnam War. And with just a few days left before heâs deployed, heâs invited by a striking hippie to join him at a music festival.
Three days of music, drugs, rain, mud, and love forged a bond between these two very different men that would shape the rest of their lives. They share dreams and fears, and when Richard is shipped off to war, they share letters and love. For Richardâs first Christmas home, he is gifted a special angel ornament that just might make a soldierâs wish come true.
This story is one of seven stories which can all be read and enjoyed in any order.
The Christmas Angel Series
In 1750, a master woodcarver poured all his unrequited love, passion, and longing into his masterpieceâa gorgeous Christmas angel for his belovedâs tree. When the man he loved tossed the angel away without a second thought, a miracle happened. The angel was found by another who brought the woodcarver True Love.
Since then, the angel has been passed down, sold, lost and found, but its magic remains. Read the romances inspired by (and perhaps nudged along by) the Christmas angel through the years. Whether itâs 1700s England (Eli Easton's Christmas Angel), the 1880âs New York (Kim Fieldingâs Summerfieldâs Angel), the turn-of-the-century (Jordan L. Hawkâs Magicianâs Angel), World War II (L.A. Wittâs Christmas Homecoming), Vietnam-era (N.R. Walkerâs Soldierâs Wish), the 1990âs (Anyta Sundayâs Shrewd Angel), or 2018 (RJ Scottâs Christmas Prince), the Christmas angel has a way of landing on the trees of lonely men who need its blessing for a very Merry Christmas and forever HEA.
Author Bio:
N.R. Walker is an Australian author, who loves her genre of gay romance. She loves writing and spends far too much time doing it, but wouldn't have it any other way.
She is many things; a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer. She has pretty, pretty boys who she gives them life with words.
She likes it when they do dirty, dirty things...but likes it even more when they fall in love. She used to think having people in her head talking to her was weird, until one day she happened across other writers who told her it was normal.
Sheâs been writing ever since...
AUTHORGRAPH / KOBO / iTUNES
B&N / GOOGLE PLAY / AMAZON
EMAIL: nrwalker2103@gmail.com
A Soldier's Wish by N.R. Walker
The Christmas Angel by Eli Easton
Summerfield's Angel by Kim Fielding
The Magician's Angel by Jordan L. Hawk
Christmas Homecoming by L.A. Witt
Shrewd Angel by Anyta Sunday
Christmas Prince by RJ Scott
Brought to you by:
Release Blitz: Christmas Angel by Eli Easton
Title: Christmas Angel
Author: Eli Easton
Series: The Christmas Angel #1
Genre: M/M Romance, Historical, Holiday
Release Date: December 2, 2018
Cover Design: Meredith Russell
Summary:When John Trent, a dedicated member of the new Bow Street Runners, finds an exquisite carved angel floating in the Thames, he canât stop thinking about it. He tracks down its creator, a sad and quiet young sculptor. But neither the angel nor the sculptor is done with John just yet. The blasted angel refuses to leave him be, behaving not at all like an inanimate object should.
Alec Allston is resigned to the fact that his love will ever be a river that flows out and never flows in. All he wanted to do was create a special gift so that a small part of himself could be with his unattainable and noble beloved, always. But when the gift keeps showing back up at his shop in the hands of a windblown and rugged thief-taker, Alec will need to reconsider his conviction that love is destined to remain an ethereal ideal.
This book is one of seven stories which can all be read and enjoyed in any order.
The Christmas Angel Series
In 1750, a master woodcarver poured all his unrequited love, passion, and longing into his masterpieceâa gorgeous Christmas angel for his belovedâs tree. When the man he loved tossed the angel away without a second thought, a miracle happened. The angel was found by another who brought the woodcarver True Love.
Since then, the angel has been passed down, sold, lost and found, but its magic remains. Read the romances inspired by (and perhaps nudged along by) the Christmas angel through the years. Whether itâs 1700s England (Eli Easton's Christmas Angel), the 1880âs New York (Kim Fieldingâs Summerfieldâs Angel), the turn-of-the-century (Jordan L. Hawkâs Magicianâs Angel), World War II (L.A. Wittâs Christmas Homecoming), Vietnam-era (N.R. Walkerâs Soldierâs Wish), the 1990âs (Anyta Sundayâs Shrewd Angel), or 2018 (RJ Scottâs Christmas Prince), the Christmas angel has a way of landing on the trees of lonely men who need its blessing for a very Merry Christmas and forever HEA.
They reached Green Park and paused at its southern end to take it in. It was surprisingly well-attended. The broad lawn, with its distant view of St. James, was dotted with couples and families who strolled the parkâs broad paths in their coats and muffs, furs and tricorne hats, enjoying the unseasonal weather. Many carried lanterns so that dozens of flames danced here and there in the park in spectral fashion.
âWould you care to take a turn around the park?â Trent asked. âOr would you rather head back? You must be tired after a long day.â
âNo. No, please. How could we resist a scene like that? It looks like a fairy kingdom. We must walk it,â Alec said with feeling.
Trent gave a low chuckle. He half turned so that he could gaze at Alecâs face. âIâve noticed youâve a fondness for the fairy kingdom. Your sculptures have a hint of it.â
âThey may do,â Alec admitted. âButââ
The words evaporated when Trent pulled the glove off his right hand and raised the backs of his fingers to Alecâs cheek. âNot too cold?â
How his hand could be so hot was a mystery. Or perhaps Alecâs cheek was just that cold. But the touch seared him. His eyes watered, and his insides swooped as though his heart were a bird diving into the sea. He had a strong urge to lean into that touch. He swallowed, his voice gone.
Trentâs smile faded, and he gazed at Alec so seriously for a moment. Then he dropped his hand. âYouâre not too cold to go on?â
âNo,â Alec said quietly.
âThen letâs promenade, my fairy prince.â
That was so patently absurd it made Alec laugh and the spell was broken. Trent switched to Alecâs other side and this time he took Alecâs arm without asking. Instead of clasping him above the elbow, he threaded his arm through and wrapped it around Alecâs bicep. It was a more secure hold, and it brought them together hip to shoulder, almost huddled against the chill.
They moved onto a path, Alecâs heart once again thudding heavily, his mind a whirlwind.
He canât truly be interested in me that way, a voice whispered in his head. Only it was getting harder to believe. Honestly, Alec was less interested in believing it.
Trent couldnât be interested in him professionally. Alec had never witnessed a murder or committed any crime. And while sodomy was illegal, Alec had never done the act. Surely a Bow Street Runner would not set out to entrap a lonely sculptor who was minding his own business.
No, Trent had found the shop because of the angel. The question was: why had he kept coming back?
He decided to broach the subject because his heart couldnât take much more of this. And it was awfully hard to stand on oneâs principles and reject a thing if one wasnât even sure the thing was on offer.
âYou said you are not married,â he began.
âNo. Nor do I ever intend to be.â
âBecause your profession is dangerous?â Alec asked, then cursed himself. He was so used to skirting around the subject he found it difficult to get even close without shying away in the opposite direction.
âNo,â Trent said, squeezing his arm. âNo, Mr. Allston. I will never marry because there will never be a woman I want in that way, and to force one to live with half my affection would be wrong.â
âAh.â
It was like a dash of cold water in the face, one meant to wake the sleeper. Trent couldnât be more clear. A trill of fear went through Alec at his boldness, at what he was very nearly saying out loud. He remained silent.
They continued down the path. Trentâs hand was firmer now because Alecâs legs had gotten weaker and he was barely going on. They passed two older gentlemen in black tricorne hats with gold trim, both smoking cigars. They all nodded to one another.
âPardon me if Iâve offended you,â Trent said after the two men had passed. He sounded worried, and Alec realized he was not as brazen as he appeared.
âNo. No... I.â He kicked himself for his hesitancy. He wouldnât be a coward now, not when Trent had put his neck on the line. âWhat I mean to say is, I am also far from a Lothario when it comes to the female sex. Iâm not made that way. Thatâs why I... why I have decided to remain unwed. And to dedicate myself solely to my work.â
âYouâre talking about a life of celibacy.â
Alec swallowed. As usual Trentâs bluntness was a little shocking. âYes. Itâs not so rare. Those in certain professionsâpriests, for exampleâhave abstained for centuries.â
âThatâs bollocks,â Trent said strongly. âAnd from what Iâve heard about priests, theyâre not as celibate as all that.â
âBut.... If you can keep your mind pure, surely thatâs a state to be wished for. To live for art and higher ideas. Particularly if oneâs predispositions are not... are not in the natural way of things. I thinkââ
âLet me ask you something,â Trent interrupted with a hint of impatience. âWould you find it admirable if a man never ate? So that he became skin and bones and got ill and abandoned his duties? And all the while he looked to the heavens with pious eyes and insisted God wanted him to starve to death because gluttony is a sin. Is that something to be admired? Or would you think he had a bat in the belfry?â
Alec pressed his lips together. âThatâs not the same thing.â
âOr what about a man who refused to shit? Just kept it all bottled up inside because he felt it was beneath him?â
âMr. Trent!â Alec gasped.
âWe are physical beings, Mr. Allston. We must eat and shit and drink and move and make love. If you ask me, denying any part of our physical nature is not only a tragic folly, but itâs bound to lead to misery in the end. If you want to be happy in life, honor your physical nature, in moderation, with an eye to not harm anyone else, and, indeed, to do good where you can. Art and the church and politics and the law, they enrich a manâs life, to be sure. But the physical self is the base of well-being.â
Trent talked passionately, and Alec had to admit, he made a good argument. He thought of the way William had spoken about denial of the bodyâs longings as the highest aim, that purity was the only possible state for a man of elevated consciousness.
Yet now a very unhappy thread of doubt crept in. Did William espouse that course merely to avoid intimacy with Alec? Was it his way of holding Alec at armâs length? Surely, he wasnât planning to be celibate with his wife. There were the heirs to secure, if nothing else.
Damnation, he didnât want to think about William and his bride. Tonight, of all nights, he didnât want to think about William at all.
âBut what if... what if oneâs physical self, oneâs innate appetites, would lead one to acts which are immoral and illegal? In that case surely itâs better to abstain entirely?â
Trent stopped walking. He turned to grasp both of Alecâs arms, as though he wanted to shake him. But he only held him firmly and stared intently into his eyes.
âDo no harm. Does it harm anyone if two people come together who want each other? If they give one another pleasure and warmth and smiles?â
He made it sound so innocent. âBut they arrest men for it. Men have been executed!â
Trentâs expression grew pained. âWell I know it. A fellow I board with, Stockbridge, was caught up in that witch hunt in â26, poor sod. Before that nobody much cared, then the Reformation societies got it in their heads that London was a pit of wickedness and God would destroy it like Sodom if they didnât ensure that no one ever had a lick of fun again.â
âIâm familiar with the type,â Alec said dryly. He saw them often on the street corners passing out their pamphlets and raging about sin. âTheyâre terrifying.â
âThey are,â Trent agreed. He sighed and took Alecâs arm again and they began walking. âI donât know if youâve heard much about their tactics, but back in â26 they sent agents provocateurs into the molly houses in Holborn and Moorfields and entrapped men, spied on them. They threatened the younger boys with trial and execution if they didnât testify against their regulars. It was a bloody rout.â
Trent sounded disgusted. Alec said nothing, but his heart was heavy. This was precisely what he feared.
âBut,â Trent said firmly. âTheyâve found other bushes to beat, and men have gotten shrewder and more secretive, and there hasnât been a fuss made in some time. One must be careful, but, for Godâs sake, we canât stop living.â
Alec thought about that. âYou see no conflict in breaking the law given your profession?â He asked not as an admonishment, but because he truly wanted to understand this complicated man.
âIâm a great respecter of the law. And there are cases which should be pursued. Children despoiled or forced into prostitution, people injured for the sake of anotherâs pleasure, rape. But not every law is reasonable or fair. Some things are simply misunderstood, minds blindered by tradition. And I return to my earlier point, do no harm.â He sighed. âI suppose you think me a bloody hypocrite.â
âI donât think so. Not unless you arrested men for doing what you do yourself.â
âThat has never come up, and if it did, I would refuse. Fortunately, Judge Fielding is a practical man. He doesnât apply himself to the cause of Londonâs morality. We have work enough with real crimes.â
A family with a pretty, round-faced wife in a bonnet, a pleasant-looking husband, and a boy and girl of around ten approached. They greeted the family and received cheerful salutations in return.
What a strange world it was, Alec thought, with so many configurations. Young and old, large families and small, elderly couples, newlyweds, gentlemen who perhaps were bosom friends but would be horrified at the idea of more. And those who got up to things behind closed doors of which no one was the wiser. He supposed it must be so. He and William had carried on their dalliance, mostly in letters, true, but no one had guessed. And who knew but that the butcherâs wife had been secretly in love with the baker for decades? It reminded him of his shop where shepherdesses lounged on tables next to African beasts and King George in his coronation robes was arranged across from a humble field mouse.
Alec had thought himself a solitary figure, set up upon some high shelf, removed from it all. But here he was.
âWould you care to take a turn around the park?â Trent asked. âOr would you rather head back? You must be tired after a long day.â
âNo. No, please. How could we resist a scene like that? It looks like a fairy kingdom. We must walk it,â Alec said with feeling.
Trent gave a low chuckle. He half turned so that he could gaze at Alecâs face. âIâve noticed youâve a fondness for the fairy kingdom. Your sculptures have a hint of it.â
âThey may do,â Alec admitted. âButââ
The words evaporated when Trent pulled the glove off his right hand and raised the backs of his fingers to Alecâs cheek. âNot too cold?â
How his hand could be so hot was a mystery. Or perhaps Alecâs cheek was just that cold. But the touch seared him. His eyes watered, and his insides swooped as though his heart were a bird diving into the sea. He had a strong urge to lean into that touch. He swallowed, his voice gone.
Trentâs smile faded, and he gazed at Alec so seriously for a moment. Then he dropped his hand. âYouâre not too cold to go on?â
âNo,â Alec said quietly.
âThen letâs promenade, my fairy prince.â
That was so patently absurd it made Alec laugh and the spell was broken. Trent switched to Alecâs other side and this time he took Alecâs arm without asking. Instead of clasping him above the elbow, he threaded his arm through and wrapped it around Alecâs bicep. It was a more secure hold, and it brought them together hip to shoulder, almost huddled against the chill.
They moved onto a path, Alecâs heart once again thudding heavily, his mind a whirlwind.
He canât truly be interested in me that way, a voice whispered in his head. Only it was getting harder to believe. Honestly, Alec was less interested in believing it.
Trent couldnât be interested in him professionally. Alec had never witnessed a murder or committed any crime. And while sodomy was illegal, Alec had never done the act. Surely a Bow Street Runner would not set out to entrap a lonely sculptor who was minding his own business.
No, Trent had found the shop because of the angel. The question was: why had he kept coming back?
He decided to broach the subject because his heart couldnât take much more of this. And it was awfully hard to stand on oneâs principles and reject a thing if one wasnât even sure the thing was on offer.
âYou said you are not married,â he began.
âNo. Nor do I ever intend to be.â
âBecause your profession is dangerous?â Alec asked, then cursed himself. He was so used to skirting around the subject he found it difficult to get even close without shying away in the opposite direction.
âNo,â Trent said, squeezing his arm. âNo, Mr. Allston. I will never marry because there will never be a woman I want in that way, and to force one to live with half my affection would be wrong.â
âAh.â
It was like a dash of cold water in the face, one meant to wake the sleeper. Trent couldnât be more clear. A trill of fear went through Alec at his boldness, at what he was very nearly saying out loud. He remained silent.
They continued down the path. Trentâs hand was firmer now because Alecâs legs had gotten weaker and he was barely going on. They passed two older gentlemen in black tricorne hats with gold trim, both smoking cigars. They all nodded to one another.
âPardon me if Iâve offended you,â Trent said after the two men had passed. He sounded worried, and Alec realized he was not as brazen as he appeared.
âNo. No... I.â He kicked himself for his hesitancy. He wouldnât be a coward now, not when Trent had put his neck on the line. âWhat I mean to say is, I am also far from a Lothario when it comes to the female sex. Iâm not made that way. Thatâs why I... why I have decided to remain unwed. And to dedicate myself solely to my work.â
âYouâre talking about a life of celibacy.â
Alec swallowed. As usual Trentâs bluntness was a little shocking. âYes. Itâs not so rare. Those in certain professionsâpriests, for exampleâhave abstained for centuries.â
âThatâs bollocks,â Trent said strongly. âAnd from what Iâve heard about priests, theyâre not as celibate as all that.â
âBut.... If you can keep your mind pure, surely thatâs a state to be wished for. To live for art and higher ideas. Particularly if oneâs predispositions are not... are not in the natural way of things. I thinkââ
âLet me ask you something,â Trent interrupted with a hint of impatience. âWould you find it admirable if a man never ate? So that he became skin and bones and got ill and abandoned his duties? And all the while he looked to the heavens with pious eyes and insisted God wanted him to starve to death because gluttony is a sin. Is that something to be admired? Or would you think he had a bat in the belfry?â
Alec pressed his lips together. âThatâs not the same thing.â
âOr what about a man who refused to shit? Just kept it all bottled up inside because he felt it was beneath him?â
âMr. Trent!â Alec gasped.
âWe are physical beings, Mr. Allston. We must eat and shit and drink and move and make love. If you ask me, denying any part of our physical nature is not only a tragic folly, but itâs bound to lead to misery in the end. If you want to be happy in life, honor your physical nature, in moderation, with an eye to not harm anyone else, and, indeed, to do good where you can. Art and the church and politics and the law, they enrich a manâs life, to be sure. But the physical self is the base of well-being.â
Trent talked passionately, and Alec had to admit, he made a good argument. He thought of the way William had spoken about denial of the bodyâs longings as the highest aim, that purity was the only possible state for a man of elevated consciousness.
Yet now a very unhappy thread of doubt crept in. Did William espouse that course merely to avoid intimacy with Alec? Was it his way of holding Alec at armâs length? Surely, he wasnât planning to be celibate with his wife. There were the heirs to secure, if nothing else.
Damnation, he didnât want to think about William and his bride. Tonight, of all nights, he didnât want to think about William at all.
âBut what if... what if oneâs physical self, oneâs innate appetites, would lead one to acts which are immoral and illegal? In that case surely itâs better to abstain entirely?â
Trent stopped walking. He turned to grasp both of Alecâs arms, as though he wanted to shake him. But he only held him firmly and stared intently into his eyes.
âDo no harm. Does it harm anyone if two people come together who want each other? If they give one another pleasure and warmth and smiles?â
He made it sound so innocent. âBut they arrest men for it. Men have been executed!â
Trentâs expression grew pained. âWell I know it. A fellow I board with, Stockbridge, was caught up in that witch hunt in â26, poor sod. Before that nobody much cared, then the Reformation societies got it in their heads that London was a pit of wickedness and God would destroy it like Sodom if they didnât ensure that no one ever had a lick of fun again.â
âIâm familiar with the type,â Alec said dryly. He saw them often on the street corners passing out their pamphlets and raging about sin. âTheyâre terrifying.â
âThey are,â Trent agreed. He sighed and took Alecâs arm again and they began walking. âI donât know if youâve heard much about their tactics, but back in â26 they sent agents provocateurs into the molly houses in Holborn and Moorfields and entrapped men, spied on them. They threatened the younger boys with trial and execution if they didnât testify against their regulars. It was a bloody rout.â
Trent sounded disgusted. Alec said nothing, but his heart was heavy. This was precisely what he feared.
âBut,â Trent said firmly. âTheyâve found other bushes to beat, and men have gotten shrewder and more secretive, and there hasnât been a fuss made in some time. One must be careful, but, for Godâs sake, we canât stop living.â
Alec thought about that. âYou see no conflict in breaking the law given your profession?â He asked not as an admonishment, but because he truly wanted to understand this complicated man.
âIâm a great respecter of the law. And there are cases which should be pursued. Children despoiled or forced into prostitution, people injured for the sake of anotherâs pleasure, rape. But not every law is reasonable or fair. Some things are simply misunderstood, minds blindered by tradition. And I return to my earlier point, do no harm.â He sighed. âI suppose you think me a bloody hypocrite.â
âI donât think so. Not unless you arrested men for doing what you do yourself.â
âThat has never come up, and if it did, I would refuse. Fortunately, Judge Fielding is a practical man. He doesnât apply himself to the cause of Londonâs morality. We have work enough with real crimes.â
A family with a pretty, round-faced wife in a bonnet, a pleasant-looking husband, and a boy and girl of around ten approached. They greeted the family and received cheerful salutations in return.
What a strange world it was, Alec thought, with so many configurations. Young and old, large families and small, elderly couples, newlyweds, gentlemen who perhaps were bosom friends but would be horrified at the idea of more. And those who got up to things behind closed doors of which no one was the wiser. He supposed it must be so. He and William had carried on their dalliance, mostly in letters, true, but no one had guessed. And who knew but that the butcherâs wife had been secretly in love with the baker for decades? It reminded him of his shop where shepherdesses lounged on tables next to African beasts and King George in his coronation robes was arranged across from a humble field mouse.
Alec had thought himself a solitary figure, set up upon some high shelf, removed from it all. But here he was.
Author Bio:
Having been, at various times and under different names, a ministerâs daughter, a computer programmer, a game designer, the author of paranormal mysteries, a fan fiction writer, and organic farmer, Eli has been a m/m romance author since 2013. She has over 30 books published.
Eli has loved romance since her teens and she particular admires writers who can combine literary merit, genuine humor, melting hotness, and eye-dabbing sweetness into one story. She promises to strive to achieve most of that most of the time. She currently lives on a farm in Pennsylvania with her husband, bulldogs, cows, a cat, and lots of groundhogs.
In romance, Eli is best known for her Christmas stories because sheâs a total Christmas sap. These include âBlame it on the Mistletoeâ, âUnwrapping Hankâ and âMerry Christmas, Mr. Migglesâ. Her âHowl at the Moonâ series of paranormal romances featuring the town of Mad Creek and its dog shifters has been popular with readers. And her series of Amish-themed romances, Men of Lancaster County, has won genre awards.
In 2018 Eli hopes to do more of the same, assuming they reschedule the apocalypse.
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EMAIL: eli@elieaston.com
The Christmas Angel by Eli Easton
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The Magician's Angel by Jordan L. Hawk
Christmas Homecoming by L.A. Witt
A Soldier's Wish by N.R. Walker
Shrewd Angel by Anyta Sunday
Christmas Prince by RJ Scott
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