Sunday, August 13, 2023
Sunday's Safe Word Shelf: What He Finds by EM Denning
Desires: New Beginnings #2
Toby Harris has a good job, a good life, a real big crush on the handsome and slightly older man who works in his building. After weeks of watching from afar, Toby finally sees a chance to strike up a conversation, meeting Quentin for the first time.
On the back of a painful but amicable divorce, Quentin Carruthers finds himself forced to start his whole life over again. Even though he’s friendly with his ex-husband, Kelly, watching him find his own happiness leaves Quentin feeling jealous and sad.
One sandwich changes everything, and a casual conversation over lunch gives Quentin and Toby the opportunity to get to know each other better. Happiness feels like a possibility for Quentin for the first time in a long time, but bad news for Toby leaves them both reeling and wondering where to go. Taking a risk on something new, Toby throws his trust on Quentin, who is more than willing to pick up the pieces and be the man—and Dominant—Toby needs.
But between Quentin’s worries of being too much and Toby’s fears of not being enough, will they find happiness or are they both headed for another heartbreak?
What He Finds contains a seasoned Dom, an inexperienced sub, adventures in kitty play, cameos from some of your favorite Desires men, and a sweet and steamy HEA.
1
QUENTIN
Quentin Carruthers leaned back in his chair and slowly turned to look out the window. It was too nice a day to be trapped behind a desk, but he had work to do. “I know you’re paid well at your current employer. Remember who set you up with that interview. But I’m absolutely certain this new company is a better fit.” Quentin worked as a recruiter, and he was damn good at his job.
“I do like the idea of a better balance between work and life.”
Quentin spun a pen in his fingers as he talked. “The salary is fifteen percent more than you’re earning right now, plus the benefits package is superior. Paid time off. Four-day work weeks, which is basically unheard of.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll take the interview. Send me the details and I’ll make it happen.”
“They’re already in your inbox.” Quentin grinned.
“Someone was confident.”
“I know the relocation might be an issue for you, but they’re willing to pay moving expenses for the right candidate.” Quentin’s stomach rumbled, and he eyed the time. “But I should let you go. Eat lunch, look at my email, make good decisions.”
Laughter rang through the phone. “And by that, you mean do what you say.”
“Now you’re catching on.” Quentin glanced at the clock again. “Okay, I have to get going. I have another meeting.”
Quentin stood and headed to the elevators. He tucked his phone away and rode down to the bottom floor, and hoped that he wasn’t too late. The ground floor of the building he worked in housed a couple of restaurants, but it was the kiosk Quentin made a beeline for.
They served several specialty coffees, but also homemade desserts and sandwiches. They had a different menu for every day of the week, and Thursday’s menu was Quentin’s favorite. He tried to get down earlier than he had today, but he really wanted to make that call and get his client to take the interview.
He swore a little when he realized there was no way he was getting his sandwich. The line was longer than usual, too, and if it went too long, Quentin would have to take his food up to his office and eat at his desk when he far preferred to find a spot in the courtyard to eat. Sometimes he walked down the street and had lunch with Kelly, his ex-husband and best friend, but today Quentin knew Kelly would be swamped.
The line inched forward when someone swore and left the line. Near the front of the line, a familiar person came into view and Quentin couldn’t help but smile. Toby Harris worked one floor under Quentin, and he was cute as a button with his trim little body and his floppy dark hair.
As if Toby sensed himself being stared at, he turned. Quentin shot him a friendly smile and nodded at him. Toby waved. The line moved again, and Quentin watched Toby turn and move to make his order. Quentin liked Toby. They’d so far only shared random conversations in the kiosk queue, and sometimes they shared an elevator, but he seemed nice.
Pulling out his phone, Quinten busied himself reading a couple of emails while waiting for the line to move up.
“Quentin?”
Quentin looked up and saw Toby standing there with two coffees on a drink tray and two bags. “Hey, Toby.”
“I saw they were almost out of that sandwich you always get, so I got you the last one.” Toby handed Quentin the bag and turned the drink tray toward him. “And that’s your extra-large, two sugar, no milk, dark roast with a shot of hazelnut.”
Quentin felt a little dumbstruck as he took the offered items. “Thank you. That’s unexpected.” His brain finally came back online, and he stepped out of the line. “Do you have time to eat with me, or do you need to get back?” Quentin asked.
“I have time.” Toby blushed a little. Obviously, Toby liked him. But he wasn’t thirty yet and Quentin wasn’t sure he wanted to date someone who was still in their twenties.
It was a shitty excuse and Quentin knew it. There was nothing wrong with Toby or his age. The problem was that Quentin’s marriage ending rocked everything he thought he knew about himself. Quentin shook the cobwebs out of his brain. Kelly was happy and had moved on with someone far better suited to him than Quentin ever was, and he was happy for them both. Even if it drove home exactly how lonely he was.
“Are you okay?” Toby asked and Quentin looked at him as they entered the courtyard.
When the sun hits your hair just right, you can see the red in it. Quentin wanted to say. Instead of answering Toby’s question, he said, “Thanks again for buying me lunch. I thought for sure I wasn’t going to get to the front of the line in time.”
Toby motioned to a bench out of the way of foot traffic. “It was no big deal. You always hold the elevator for me. It was nice to do something for you.”
Quentin furrowed his brows. “Do I?”
Toby’s laugh was light, almost musical, and Quentin wasn’t sure he’d heard it before. “You do. I don’t feel special or anything, you hold it for everyone. But I know on Thursdays you’re down here lining up to get the reuben on rye, because they only serve them on Thursdays. Usually, you’re here before me, though.”
“You know a lot about me, Toby.” Quentin sat down. He set his coffee next to him, then opened the bag with his food in it. He carefully unwrapped one half of his sandwich. “Tell me something about yourself. Other than the fact that you have amazing observational skills.”
“I can tell someone to go fuck themselves in four different languages. Five if you count business professional. Six if you count pig Latin.”
Quentin choked on his sandwich. “That’s a handy skill to have. Where’d you learn that?”
Toby shrugged and finished chewing before he answered. The speed at which Toby ate surprised Quentin. In the time it had taken Quentin to eat a bite, and choke on it, and recover, Toby had powered through half of his sandwich.
“My college roommate was a language whiz. His parents are stupid rich and travel a lot for work. College was the first time he’d lived in the same place for that long. He tried to complain about it, but I think he liked it more than he let on. I think he liked the routine of it. He taught me all kinds of things, but only the really fun words stuck.”
“Do you always answer questions about yourself with answers detailing someone else?” Quentin eased the blow of his question by gently nudging Toby’s shoe with his own. He smiled at him too, but he saw the rather sad look on Toby’s face and felt like the world’s largest asshole. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I don’t feel like I’m a very interesting person, that’s all.” Toby’s shoulders dropped as he physically deflated.
Quentin sighed. “I was really enjoying this sandwich and then I went and stuffed my foot in my mouth.”
“The hazelnut in your coffee should cancel the toe jam flavor.”
“I do not have toe jam,” Quentin pretended to be insulted. “For the record, the most interesting thing about me is that I’m still friends with my ex-husband.”
“That’s because you’re a nice person.”
“You don’t know me that well then,” Quentin joked.
“You’re not going to convince me you’re a bad person, Quentin.”
“Because I hold the elevator for you.”
Toby looked at him. His expression was strange and maybe if they knew each other better, Quentin would’ve been able to read it. As it was, he couldn’t tell what Toby was thinking.
“Because you don’t treat me like I’m a child because I’m short.”
“Well, that’s because height isn’t an accomplishment. You’re not tall, but you’re not a child.”
“And that’s why your ex-husband is still your friend.”
“I suppose I have some redeeming qualities.” Quentin took a bite of his sandwich, aware that the time he had left with Toby didn’t feel like nearly enough. It was why, stupidly, he felt compelled to make sure it wasn’t the last time they had lunch together. “I have a meeting I need to get prepared for, but I’m buying next time.”
When Quentin extended the invitation, Toby’s face lit up. Toby was handsome to begin with, but when he smiled, he went from good looking to absolutely, devastatingly gorgeous.
Seeing the smile on Toby’s face made Quentin want to see it more often. Like he’d suddenly become an addict and Toby’s beaming grin was his new drug of choice.
“Next week?” Quentin asked. Setting a lunch date for the next day seemed a tad desperate.
“Yeah. Okay.” Toby nodded. “See you… well, probably tomorrow, but next week for sure. What day?”
“Well, I suppose whatever day works fine. I have lunch with Kelly about once a week, but we usually do Wednesdays. Let’s exchange numbers. Then I can text you and see if you’re free.”
“I’m always free at lunch. My boss doesn’t let people work through their break, unless it’s him.”
“He’s a good boss, then.” Quentin handed his phone to Toby. “Send yourself a text, so I have your number.”
Quentin watched Toby’s nimble fingers tap away a quick message before handing the phone back to him.
“Thanks again for lunch.” Quentin slid his phone away and gathered his trash off the bench. He’d devoured his sandwich, but he still had half his coffee. The coffee Toby had known just exactly how to order for him. “Are you heading up now? I could hold the elevator for you.”
Toby looked almost shy and Quentin hoped he hadn’t made him uncomfortable. Was he actually trying to flirt with Toby, or was he just losing his mind? Toby was a pretty face and a nice guy. To be honest, Quentin could do a lot worse. But, as Quentin had learned from the way things between him and Kelly had dissolved, cute was fine for a date, but Quentin wanted to build a life with someone. Cute might not cut it if their personalities didn’t match.
Toby could be the hottest, nicest, most single person in the building, but unless he had the potential to be what Quentin needed, there was no point in pursuing anything. Except everyone needed friends, right?
Toby could be a friend. Hell, he’d bought Quentin lunch. He hadn’t proposed marriage. For all Quentin knew, Toby wasn’t interested. He might not even be Toby’s type.
“Are you okay?” Toby asked, snapping Quentin out of his spiral.
“Sorry.” Quentin stifled a self-deprecating comment. “I’m not sure,” he said instead. “I have a lot on my mind today, that’s all.”
Toby nodded, and they quietly headed for the elevators, with Toby falling into step next to Quentin. It didn’t escape Quentin’s attention that Toby was the perfect height. Tucked in next to Quentin, his head probably wouldn’t come past Quentin’s chin. He was smaller, sure, but that only meant it would be easier to… nope. He couldn’t think those thoughts in public when he was just about to step onto an elevator. Besides, if Toby was going to be his friend, Quentin should at least attempt to stop perving on him.
His resolve lasted until they stepped into the elevator and Quentin had to stand shoulder to shoulder with him. Toby smelled like an impossible combination of coffee and freshly fallen rain and, given the chance, Quentin knew he’d happily drown in it.
When they stopped at Toby’s floor, Quentin barely resisted the urge to get off on the wrong floor and walk Toby back to his desk. Instead, he bid Toby a fond goodbye, thanking him for the lunch. He watched Toby smile, not as big, but just as devastating, before Quentin finally had to relent and let the elevator doors slide shut.
By the time he got back to his office, he felt like an absolute fool. A lonely old idiot who got all knotted up by the first pretty face to show a modicum of interest. Quentin dropped into his chair and considered the fact that he might, in fact, be too lonely for his own good.
The idea of trying to find someone to fit that empty space in his life was too daunting to entertain, so he didn’t. He went back to his work and shoved Toby firmly into the—friend he sometimes has lunch with—category and put everything else out of his mind.
Saturday's Series Spotlight
Desires
E. M. Denning is a writer from British Columbia. She loves her family and animals, and anything cute and fuzzy. She writes romance for the 18+ plus crowd because she's both a hopeless romantic and a dirty old woman.
You can find her on her website, Facebook or on her blog.
What He Finds #2
Desires: New Beginnings Series
What He Learns #1
What They Deserve #3
Desires Series
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