Showing posts with label dancers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dancers. Show all posts

Friday, June 26, 2026

🌈📘🎥Friday's Film Adaptation🎥📘🌈: The Berlin Stories by Christopher Isherwood




Summary:

A classic of 20th-century fiction, The Berlin Stories inspired the Broadway musical and Oscar-winning film Cabaret.

First published in the 1930s, The Berlin Stories contains two astonishing related novels, The Last of Mr. Norris and Goodbye to Berlin, which are recognized today as classics of modern fiction. Isherwood magnificently captures 1931 Berlin: charming, with its avenues and cafés; marvelously grotesque, with its nightlife and dreamers; dangerous, with its vice and intrigue; powerful and seedy, with its mobs and millionaires—this is the period when Hitler was beginning his move to power. The Berlin Stories is inhabited by a wealth of characters: the unforgettable Sally Bowles, whose misadventures in the demimonde were popularized on the American stage and screen by Julie Harris in I Am A Camera and Liza Minnelli in Cabaret; Mr. Norris, the improbable old debauchee mysteriously caught between the Nazis and the Communists; plump Fräulein Schroeder, who thinks an operation to reduce the scale of her Büste might relieve her heart palpitations; and the distinguished and doomed Jewish family, the Landauers.





A Berlin Diary
Autumn 1930
From my window, the deep solemn massive street. Cellar-shops where the lamps burn all day, under the shadow of top-heavy balconied façades, dirty plaster frontages embossed with scroll-work and heraldic devices. The whole district is like this: street leading into street of houses like shabby monumental safes crammed with the tarnished valuables and secondhand furniture of a bankrupt middle class.

I am a camera with its shutter open, quite passive, recording, not thinking. Recording the man shaving at the window opposite and the woman in the kimono washing her hair. Some day, all this will have to be developed, carefully printed, fixed.

At eight o’clock in the evening the house-doors will be locked. The children are having supper. The shops are shut. The electric sign is switched on over the night-bell of the little hotel on the corner, where you can hire a room by the hour. And soon the whistling will begin. Young men are calling their girls. Standing down there in the cold, they whistle up at the lighted windows of warm rooms where the beds are already turned down for the night. They want to be let in. Their signals echo down the deep hollow street, lascivious and private and sad. Because of the whistling, I do not care to stay here in the evenings. It reminds me that I am in a foreign city, alone, far from home. Sometimes I determine not to listen to it, pick up a book, try to read. But soon a call is sure to sound, so piercing, so insistent, so despairingly human, that at last I have to get up and peep through the slats of the Venetian blind to make quite sure that it is not — as I know very well it could not possibly be — for me.

The extraordinary smell in this room when the stove is lighted and the window shut; not altogether unpleasant, a mixture of incense and stale buns. The tall tiled stove, gorgeously coloured, like an altar. The washstand like a Gothic shrine. The cupboard also is Gothic, with carved cathedral windows: Bismarck faces the King of Prussia in stained glass. My best chair would do for a bishop’s throne. In the corner, three sham medieval halberds (from a theatrical touring company?) are fastened together to form a hatstand. Frl. Schroeder unscrews the heads of the halberds and polishes them from time to time. They are heavy and sharp enough to kill.

Everything in the room is like that: unnecessarily solid, abnormally heavy and dangerously sharp. Here, at the writing-table, I am confronted by a phalanx of metal objects — a pair of candlesticks shaped like entwined serpents, an ashtray from which emerges the head of a crocodile, a paperknife copied from a Florentine dagger, a brass dolphin holding on the end of its tail a small broken clock. What becomes of such things? How could they ever be destroyed? They will probably remain intact for thousands of years: people will treasure them in museums. Or perhaps they will merely be melted down for munitions in a war. Every morning, Frl. Schroeder arranges them very carefully in certain unvarying positions: there they stand, like an uncompromising statement of her views on Capital and Society, Religion and Sex.

All day long she goes padding about the large dingy flat. Shapeless but alert, she waddles from room to room, in carpet slippers and a flowered dressing-gown pinned ingeniously together, so that not an inch of petticoat or bodice is to be seen, flicking with her duster, peeping, spying, poking her short pointed nose into the cupboards and luggage of her lodgers. She has dark, bright, inquisitive eyes and pretty waved brown hair of which she is proud. She must be about fifty-five years old.

Long ago, before the War and the Inflation, she used to be comparatively well off. She went to the Baltic for her summer holidays and kept a maid to do the housework. For the last thirty years she has lived here and taken in lodgers. She started doing it because she liked to have company.

“ ‘Lina,’ my friends used to say to me, ‘however can you? How can you bear to have strange people living in your rooms and spoiling your furniture, especially when you’ve got the money to be independent?’ And I’d always give them the same answer. ‘My lodgers aren’t lodgers,’ I used to say. ‘They’re my guests.’

“You see, Herr Issyvoo, in those days I could afford to be very particular about the sort of people who came to live here. I could pick and choose. I only took them really well connected and well educated — proper gentlefolk (like yourself, Herr Issyvoo). I had a Freiherr once, and a Rittmeister and a Professor. They often gave me presents — a bottle of cognac or a box of chocolates or some flowers. And when one of them went away for his holidays he’d always send me a card — from London, it might be, or Paris, or Baden-Baden. Ever such pretty cards I used to get . . .”

And now Frl. Schroeder has not even got a room of her own. She has to sleep in the living-room, behind a screen, on a small sofa with broken springs. As in so many of the older Berlin flats, our living-room connects the front part of the house with the back. The lodgers who live on the front have to pass through the living-room on their way to the bathroom, so that Frl. Schroeder is often disturbed during the night. “But I drop off again at once. It doesn’t worry me. I’m much too tired.” She has to do all the housework herself and it takes up most of her day. “Twenty years ago, if anybody had told me to scrub my own floors, I’d have slapped his face for him. But you get used to it. You can get used to anything. Why, I remember the time when I’d sooner cut off my right hand than empty this chamber. . . And now,” says Frl. Schroeder, suiting the action to the word, “my goodness! It’s no more to me than pouring out a cup of tea!”

She is fond of pointing out to me the various marks and stains left by lodgers who have inhabited this room:

“Yes, Herr Issyvoo, I’ve got something to remember each of them by . . . Look here, on the rug — I’ve sent it to the cleaners I don’t know how often but nothing will get it out — that’s where Herr Noeske was sick after his birthday party. What in the world can he have been eating, to make a mess like that? He’d come to Berlin to study, you know. His parents lived in Brandenburg — a first-class family; oh, I assure you! They had pots of money! His Herr Papa was a surgeon, and of course he wanted his boy to follow in his footsteps . . . What a charming young man! ‘Herr Noeske,’ I used to say to him, ‘excuse me, but you must really work harder — you with all your brains! Think of your Herr Papa and your Frau Mama; it isn’t fair to them to waste their good money like that. Why, if you were to drop it in the Spree it would be better. At least it would make a splash!’ I was like a mother to him. And always, when he’d got himself into some scrape — he was terribly thoughtless — he’d come straight to me: ‘Schroederschen,’ he used to say, ‘please don’t be angry with me . . . We were playing cards last night and I lost the whole of this month’s allowance. I daren’t tell Father . . .’ And then he’d look at me with those great big eyes of his. I knew exactly what he was after, the scamp! But I hadn’t the heart to refuse. So I’d sit down and write a letter to his Frau Mama and beg her to forgive him just that once and send some more money. And she always would . . . Of course, as a woman, I knew how to appeal to a mother’s feelings, although I’ve never had any children of my own . . . What are you smiling at, Herr Issyvoo? Well, well! Mistakes will happen, you know!





A Kit Kat Klub entertainer in Weimar Republic era Berlin romances two men while the Nazi Party rises to power around them.

Release Date: February 13, 1972
Release Time: 124 minutes

Director: Bob Fosse

Cast:
Liza Minnelli as Sally Bowles
Michael York as Brian Roberts
Helmut Griem as Baron Maximilian von Heune
Joel Grey as the master of ceremonies
Fritz Wepper as Fritz Wendel
Marisa Berenson as Natalia Landauer
Elisabeth Neumann-Viertel as Fräulein Schneider
Helen Vita as Fräulein Kost
Sigrid von Richthofen as Fräulein Mayr
Gerd Vespermann as Bobby
Ralf Wolter as Herr Ludwig
Ricky Renée as Elke
Estrongo Nachama as the cantor
Kathryn Doby, Inge Jaeger, Angelika Koch, Helen Velkovorska, Gitta Schmidt and Louise Quick as the Kit Kat Klub dancers
Oliver Collignon as the Hitler Youth singer (uncredited)
Mark Lambert as the singing voice of the Hitler Youth singer (uncredited)
Pierre Franckh as a Nazi (uncredited)

Awards:
45th Academy Awards - March 27, 1973
Best Picture - Cy Feuer - Nominated
Best Director - Bob Fosse - Won
Best Actress - Liza Minnelli - Won
Best Supporting Actor - Joel Grey - Won
Best Screenplay – Based on Material from Another Medium - Jay Presson Allen - Nominated
Best Art Direction - Won
     Art Direction - Hans Jürgen Kiebach and Rolf Zehetbauer;
     Set Decoration - Herbert Strabel
Best Cinematography - Geoffrey Unsworth - Won
Best Film Editing - David Bretherton - Won
Best Scoring: Adaptation and Original Song Score - Ralph Burns - Won
Best Sound - Robert Knudson and David Hildyard - Won

26th BAFTAs - February 28, 1973
Best Film - Won
Best Direction - Bob Fosse - Won
Best Actress in a Leading Role - Liza Minnelli - Won
Best Actress in a Supporting Role - Marisa Berenson - Nominated
Best Screenplay - Jay Presson Allen - Nominated
Best Art Direction - Rolf Zehetbauer - Won
Best Cinematography - Geoffrey Unsworth - Won
Best Costume Design - Charlotte Flemming - Nominated
Best Film Editing - David Bretherton - Nominated
Best Soundtrack - David Hildyard, Robert Knudson, and Arthur Piantadosi - Won
Most Promising Newcomer to Leading Film Roles - Joel Grey - Won


30th Golden Globes -January 28, 1973
Best Motion Picture–Musical or Comedy - Won
Best Actress in a Motion Picture–Musical or Comedy - Liza Minnelli - Won
Best Supporting Actor–Motion Picture - Joel Grey - Won
Best Supporting Actress–Motion Picture - Marisa Berenson - Nominated
Most Promising Newcomer–Female - Nominated
Best Director–Motion Picture - Bob Fosse - Nominated
Best Screenplay–Motion Picture - Jay Presson Allen - Nominated
Best Original Song–Motion Picture - "Mein Herr"
     Music by John Kander & Lyrics by Fred Ebb - Nominated
Best Original Song–Motion Picture - "Money, Money"
     Music by John Kander  Lyrics by Fred Ebb - Nominated

AFIs 100 Years . . .
100 Songs - Cabaret - No. 18
Greatest Movie Musicals - No. 5
100 Movies (10th Anniversary Edition) - No. 63






Christopher Isherwood
Christopher Isherwood (1904-1986) was one of the most prominent writers of his generation. He is the author of many works of fiction, including All the Conspirators, The Memorial, Mr. Norris Changes Trains, and Goodbye to Berlin, on which the musical Cabaret was based, as well as works of nonfiction and biography.




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👀Omnibus containing I am the Camera & Goodbye to Berlin(book movie is based on)👀
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Film
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Sunday, March 22, 2026

🍀💚☘️Sunday's Short Stack☘️💚🍀: Just Dance by AJ Llewellyn




Summary:
Irish dancer Tiernan O’Rourke is given the chance of a lifetime with a holiday dance show. Or has Santa just delivered yet another nasty holiday surprise?

Devastated when COVID cancels his touring show of an Irish musical, Tiernan O’Rourke is given a chance shot at a special Christmas show. His ex-lover, Asher Bryson, is the one staging the show and tells him it will showcase his shillelagh, but not the kind Tiernan assumes. This opportunity seems to be the answer to his prayers, or is it?

Asher Bryson had big holiday plans until the pandemic squashed them. He lands a gig to stage a late-night, outdoor Christmas dance show for charity. Desperation forces him to reach out to the man he loved and left, Tiernan O’Rourke. Publicly he makes fun of Tiernan, calling him Lord of the Prance. Privately, his feelings are something else. Can he and Tiernan look past everything and just dance?


Original Review March 2025:
I have marked AJ Llewellyn a new-to-me author, truth is I have read the author before but ashamed to admit it has been nearly a decade since my last readings.  So technically not new but enough time has passed that I felt it fair to mark it so.

As for Just Dance, I was looking for stories to fit St. Patrick's Day and although this is a Xmas story it's heavy on many elements Irish.  Unfortunately St. Patrick's Day is not a holiday often explored in stories so I branch out to any kind of Irish connection.  I'm glad I did because this is a fun little ditty that will make you smile.

A little warning, it's been 5 years since Covid hit and I think for the most part people are okay with reading about Covid times but I know a few who feel it's still too fresh or they had close personal experience with the effects and are not ready to explore the time in fiction, which is certainly understandable.  Just Dance is set around Covid or at the very least the effects from lockdown and other facets of the pandemic so I just wanted to put that out there for those not ready yet.

As for Tiernan, or "Terry" as he shortens it for many baristas, is a man who had his big break yanked out from under him due to Covid but he keeps going, he doesn't let that weigh him down.  Asher is . . . well at first appearance I did not like him to say it ladylike, being completely honest he had his points that didn't quite endear him to me throughout much of the story but I could see he was growing and he was trying and sometimes people just have their quirks that don't quite appeal to everyone, doesn't make them a bad person just not a favorite.  But he might worm his way into my good graces but if that's true or not would be a spoiler too many I won't do😉😉.

Having stated the above about Asher did not lessen my enjoyment of this short.  Perhaps the smiles it gave me did not evolve into full-on belly laughs but they don't have to, all I need and want is a story that lightens my mood and brightens my reading time and Just Dance did just that.

RATING:





“It’s a bit bland.” Tiernan O’Rourke pushed the artfully piled lump of meat around the plate with his fork. This had been the most unusual experience of his life, taste-testing stacks of meat with varying degrees of flavor. This could really use some salt and pepper. It was his sixth sampling so far today. He hoped it would be the last.

He glanced out of the window, but the view of the red brick wall from the building next door hadn’t changed. From somewhere outside, jackhammers pierced the silence.

He was starting to feel claustrophobic. As he focused his gaze once again on the food in front of him, he couldn’t help thinking of the song, Somewhere That’s Green from The Little Shop of Horrors.

Tiernan glanced at the three chefs awaiting his response. How did they work all day without a glimpse of the sky or something a little bit green? Maybe New Yorkers got used to it. He longed for his old view... His old life.

Ugh.

Quit stalling. Man up. He mentally patted his belly. He already had a bad stomachache from the food samples he’d tested so far. I don’t think I can face this. He took a deep, cleansing breath. I have to do it. Another bite. “Okay. I like the pop of carrots and peas.” He let the food tumble around his tongue, aware of the sharp scrutiny of the kitchen staff. “And the sweet potato is a nice surprise.” He swallowed, hoping he could keep a pleasant expression on his face.

“What else?” Matthew Croft, the lead chef, stared at him.

Tiernan blinked. What else? “There’s um, apple in it, I think. Ah. I like it.”

A long but significant pause.

The taste tester sitting beside Tiernan shifted in her seat. Harsha Zhu was bright, bubbly, and super annoying with her blue-hued hair and her knowledgeable critiques. Not to mention her insane giggle at inappropriate moments. Tiernan had pegged her as a sociopath, despite the chefs’ apparent awe of her.

With a disdainful sneer in his direction, Harsha said, “The textures are there, and I think it’s extraordinary how you’ve managed to blend blueberries and chicken this way. The fruit and vegetables have been cooked to perfection, yet each retains its flavor.”

Tiernan stared at her. Wow. She’s good. She sounds like she knows what she’s talking about. I have to memorize that authoritative way she describes a lump of meat, in case I have to do this again.

“But do you think a dog would like it?” Matthew flicked glances at them, an icy tinge in his voice.

Tiernan forced a smile on his face even as he experienced a moment of pure panic. Why are you asking me that? How the heck would I know? Harsha seemed to sag on her stool.

When she didn’t respond, Tiernan jumped in. “If I were a dog, I would love it.”

“It’s my favorite, too,” Harsha piped up.

Tiernan glanced at her. The kitchen staff had all been in wonderment of the small but fierce Asian woman they told him in reverent whispers was an Instagram influencer. Did dogs rely on influencers? As far as Tiernan could tell, dogs were swayed by a bowl of edible food. And edible was in the eye of the beholder. He’d never heard of a single dog that checked with Internet strangers to tell them something was good to eat. He thought with a pang of his childhood dog, Sparky, who ate everything from socks to rolls of quarters.

“One more sample,” Matthew said.

Even Harsha couldn’t hide her dismay.

“Oh,” she said as though the wind had sunk her sails. Then she giggled once more.

“This is the last one, honest. You guys are doing great.” Matthew signaled, and a young female sous chef—who looked stressed—rushed forward and exchanged dishes.

Tiernan stared at the dark mound of mush in front of him. Dog food? Huh. That was human-grade food we’ve been testing. Needed seasoning, but still... I’m going to get a dog again one day. If Fanta lets me bring one home. The thought of his orange tabby cat waiting for him curled up on their shared bed made him dip his fork into the final plate of meat set before him.

He took a healthy bite. This one had a bit of a zing to it. Sort of slimy. Overcooked. Could he say that? Would he offend the chefs? No. He wouldn’t accuse them of overcooking food. The sample had gravy, which was an improvement on the lackluster offerings so far. He glanced over at Harsha, who was scraping at her mountain of food. She took a bite.

“It’s so good I want to take it home and finish it,” Tiernan lied, earning a round of applause from the chefs.

Harsha spat her mouthful into the small dish beside her. Tiernan realized only then she’d been spitting out her food the whole time.

“Me too.” She smiled, revealing a mouth with gold teeth.

Grillz. Holy moly. Were they still in fashion?

“You spat it out,” Tiernan couldn’t resist pointing out.

She patted her mouth with one of the starched napkins the staff had provided. “Of course, I did. You know that last sample was actual dog food, right?” She smacked her lips together. “Alpo, I think.”

The chefs roared with laughter and applauded her.

“You’re always amazing, Harsha.” Matthew beamed at her, glancing over at Tiernan. “You okay, guy? You did eat a big chunk of it.”

“Fine, just fine.” Tiernan waved off the chef’s words but really wanted to scream and barf. I just ate dog food. And I said I loved it!

“That’s it, guys. You did great. We’ll be sending out your checks today. And if we need you again, we’ll be in touch.” Matthew slid his face mask up and over his nose and mouth and pointed toward the elevator.



AJ Llewellyn
A.J. Llewellyn lives in California, but dreams of living in Hawaii. Frequent trips to all the islands, bags of Kona coffee in the fridge and a healthy collection of Hawaiian records keep this writer refueled.

A.J's passion for the islands led to writing a play about the overthrow of Queen Lili'uokalani's kingdom.

A.J. never lacks inspiration for writing erotic romances but has many other passions: collecting books on Hawaiiana, surfing and spending time with family, friends and animal companions.

A.J. Llewellyn believes that love is a song best sung out loud.



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EMAIL: ajllewellyn@gmail.com



Monday, March 16, 2026

🍀💚☘️Monday Mpreg Mania☘️💚🍀: Lucky Dance Date by Lacey Daize




Summary:
Holiday Surprise #4
Wes’s life may not be perfect, but he works hard to make it as good as he can.

Wes will never be his parents’ ideal son, and he knows it. Worse is that they retaliate against him when their attempts to mold him into what they want fail. Still, he carves out what happiness he can while trying to stay within the lines. He’s made himself a career as a dance instructor, and loves teaching kids. Unfortunately, it all threatens to come crashing down when the owner of the dance studio announces its closure. With no open spaces at other dance studios Wes decides to open his own, but he knows his parents will be vehemently against it.

José has never gotten over his high school boyfriend, but how can he ask forgiveness after failing him?

José has a good life. He’s a successful mortgage broker with plenty of friends and a loving family. But he has one major regret: not being able to protect his high school boyfriend, Wes, from his terrible parents. If he’d done things differently, maybe the omega would have had a different life. However, when he hears that Wes has a new dream on the line he vows to do what it takes to make the man he loves happy.

But will it be enough this time?

Lucky Dance Date is a 18K word, non-shifter, M/M, mpreg, omegaverse romance

Content note: Narcissistic and racist parents play a role in this book. Therefore it may not be suitable for readers sensitive to those topics.


Original Review March 2024:
I don't know how Wes isn't more of a basket case after everything his parents put him through. I have such an amazing relationship with my parents it's hard for me to wrap my head around people like Wes' folks but it also makes me want to crush the life out him with such a ginormous Mama Bear Hug.  There is just no way you can't cheer for Wes and José to get their HEA, no real spoiler saying they will get there eventually because the story is in the journey and that journey you will have to read for yourself to learn and appreciate the paths that get them there.

With each mpreg I read I fall even deeper in love with the genre, my experience in variety of authors within the genre is still limited but I've loved every Lacey Daize story I've read.  Again I was looking for a holiday theme story, this time St. Patty's Day, so another in-middle-of-series read but with the exceptions of a few friends from earlier entries, Lucky Dance Date is a complete standalone in the author's Holiday Surprise series.

I love the blend of drama, mpreg, love, friendship, second chances, and of course how sometimes found families can be all the family you need. Wes and José's journey in Lucky Dance Date is definitely a winning gem that will warm your heart. 

RATING:





Chapter 1 - Wes
~January~
Ismiled at my camera and ring light. “That’s it for today’s mini-lesson. Make sure to subscribe to my channel for access to full lessons. And if you live in Valle Granja, stop in and join our real life dance classes.”

My smile widened and I made heart-hands as I prepared for my traditional send-off. “Until next time, keep those toes tapping. Wes, out.”

I struck a pose and held it for several seconds so that my editor would have plenty of time for a clean outtro. Then I strode to the camera and turned it off.

The sound of small footsteps running up the stairs to the studio filtered in, and I knew that the first of my after-school students had arrived. I quickly carried my recording equipment to the instructors’ office, closed the door just enough to check that my dance belt was still where I wanted it, then headed back out to the lobby.

“No street shoes on the dance floor,” I stated, even though all of my students knew the drill.

“Ok!” Madison, the niece of one of my best friends, said as she sat on one of the benches, kicked off her character sneakers, and pulled on a pair of split-sole dance shoes.

“Can I go warm up?” she asked as she shoved her street shoes in one of the cubbies.

“Go ahead,” I replied as other kids started to filter in.

“Thank you!” she squealed as she bolted into the studio proper.

I smiled as I reminded the others to change their shoes. Madison was one of my most enthusiastic students, and I saw the potential for her to be an incredible dancer. I even planned to talk to her papa about having her audition for the summer musical held by the Valle Granja Performing Arts Initiative.

It would be a step up from the small performances held by our dance association, but I was sure that she was ready.

I waited for the stragglers, checked my messages to see if parents had contacted me about any of the no-shows, then strode into the studio.

“Let’s warm up everybody,” I said, clapping my hands to get their attention. “To the barre for stretches.”

The kids all took their places, and I smiled as they settled from excited chatter to serious practice.

We went through our warm up routine before reviewing our triple-steps. Then I settled into the lesson for the day.

I couldn’t help but smile as the kids tripped over their own feet before learning the new steps.

My life was nearly perfect. I had a job that I loved: teaching dance. Even better was that it paid the bills. I had a cute apartment all to myself. I performed regularly with the local theater initiative, and I was an advocate for local investment in the arts.

There were only two downsides: my parents, who were vehemently against everything I did, and my lack of a mate or children.

Unfortunately I couldn’t fix my parents, and the only alpha I’d ever wanted had been scared off by them more than a decade ago. Even now I dreamt of his sun-kissed skin and black hair.

Still, I was surrounded by small blessings, and I’d long since learned to appreciate them.




Saturday Series Spotlight

Cutie  /  Cupid  /  Date
Beau  /  Flame  /  Crush



Lacey Daize
Lacey lives in New Mexico with her four critters. She’s a Jill-of-all-trades by day, but loves writing in her spare time. She dabbles in a variety of pairings, but jumped feet-first into the deep end of omegaverse the first time she read it. She loves the play on social expectations and the different ways to express romance.




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Lucky Dance Date #4




Sunday, November 10, 2024

💜Sunday's Sport Stats💜: XOXO by Christina Lee



Summary:

Roosevelt College #1
Lark Levitt doesn’t belong at Roosevelt College, at least in theory. Most students who attend the private university come from wealthy families, and Lark is only a scholarship and a bus ride away from the trailer park where he lives. It’s also a dream come true because dance is his life, and their program is one of the most prestigious in the country. But there are bumps in the road, like running into someone from a difficult time in his childhood. Someone who now pretends he doesn’t exist.

Henry Albrecht survived childhood cancer and is now a Roosevelt quarterback and model student. His past is something his father insists Henry keep private, and though his dad has his reasons, it makes his remission feel like a dirty secret instead of a triumph. He has few precious memories from that time in his life, except for a kid from the hospital who made his recovery manageable. A kid who’s all grown up now and at Roosevelt, jeopardizing everything Henry’s carefully kept under wraps.

They decide the best course of action is to keep their distance. Easier said than done. Their renewed connection brings solace, clarity, and a raw intensity that awakens a spark between them. But hiding their history is exhausting, and soon enough their secret meetups are in danger of being exposed. Henry will need to face his fears—and his father—or lose the only person who’s ever understood the real him.

*TW: Discussions of cancer treatments and depictions of mental heath struggles



PROLOGUE
SEVEN YEARS AGO
Henry
I shuffled toward the common room of the children’s ward at Mercy Hospital, wearing a hoodie over my thin gown because of the chill in the air and fuzzy socks with grippers so I didn’t slip and fall. It was standard wear for all patients, so I no longer felt self-conscious about it, and some days I was too sick to care.

My heart leaped when I spotted Lark working a puzzle at a round table. It was one of his favorite activities, especially putting together the famous painting with the ballerinas. He’d sworn me to secrecy before sharing his dream of dancing on Broadway someday. He liked putting earbuds in and listening to soundtracks from his favorite musicals. I’d been to quite a few with my parents and only enjoyed a handful. But Billy Elliot was a memorable one. Not that I was as obsessed with the story as he was, but it helped us find common ground. Lark had taken dance lessons his entire life, but his cancer treatments had set him back.

“Guess what?”

“Chicken butt?” Lark replied, and we smiled at each other.

“I’m being discharged tomorrow,” I said, and though I was excited, I was also sad to leave my new friend. I had what the doctors called a successful bone-marrow transplant for leukemia. But only time would tell.

“Awesome,” Lark responded around a cough.

I sat down in an orange plastic chair. “You get better too so you can go home.”

“I’m trying my best.” He slid an apple Jolly Rancher across the table to me, then pulled down his mask and popped a watermelon one in his mouth. It was his favorite flavor, and his mom kept his hard-candy obsession well-stocked.

I slid a corner piece over to him, though he could probably do this puzzle with his eyes closed at this point. Lark’s cancer was a bit trickier than mine because they also found spots of it on his lungs. He had Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and people often got our two types of cancers confused. But mine started in my bone marrow and his in his lymph nodes. And yeah, we both knew way too much about the disease.

We’d been in this hospital for the better part of two months, both receiving treatment and fighting for our lives. The hospital staff tried to treat us as the kids we were by offering activities during the day as long as we wore our masks and washed our hands before and after leaving the room.

One of my favorite days was when they brought the adorable therapy dogs. My least favorite was when one of us died.

Lark and I had grown close, maybe because we were a similar age—him being eleven and me twelve. But it seemed more than that, even if on the surface we had few shared interests. I loved sports and played them all my life. My cancer had also placed me on the sidelines, and my dad worried it might ruin my high school football chances. I was actually more worried about surviving.

“Should we exchange numbers?” I asked Lark as I sat down across from him.

He frowned. “I don’t even own a cell phone. But maybe our parents can?”

“Sounds good,” I replied, though we both knew it was unlikely. Our parents barely saw each other and hadn’t spoken more than a sentence or two. Talk about having little in common.

My parents ran a prestigious real-estate business in Hunterdon County—at least that’s how they always described it. They were usually busy and sometimes seemed more worried about how my illness might affect them more than me. Don’t get me wrong, they were scared and sad when I was first diagnosed; it was written all over their faces. But soon enough they put on a brave front and offered plenty of reassurances—maybe too many. As if my cancer was only a blip on the radar that was my life. Of course, one could only hope. But in the thick of it, I needed all the support and comfort I could get. They offered it, but I always felt like they never really sank into it with me.

And I got it. They wanted to remain optimistic. But as soon as they heard I was being discharged, they were already talking future plans and what private high schools I should apply to with prestigious football programs. There was that word again. Prestigious.

I didn’t tell Lark any of that, but I wanted to. I felt like I would be betraying my parents if I did. They were always worried about appearances, and though I knew I had grown up not wanting for anything, sometimes I wished they would be more like other parents. Like Lark’s mom and stepdad. He wasn’t around a lot, but she was, and she was so warm, caring, and awesome.

But there was another layer to all this, and it had to do with my father. He’d had epilepsy as a kid but eventually got better. Mom told me that Dad had too much pride to admit how his memories of being discounted and excluded as the sick kid at school had affected him his whole life. He focused on how he and others with chronic illnesses had managed to go on and have happy, productive lives. He thought I should follow his lead when it came to my own illness—like my cancer was a dirty family secret—despite times and attitudes having changed.

Lark crunched his candy, which was followed by another hacking episode.

“Your cough sounds a little better,” I said. That was a lie. This bout seemed to be lingering. And he knew it too because he gave me a look without calling me on it.

“I’m gonna miss this place,” I said as my gaze caught on the large painted rainbow that lined the far wall. Animals and kids were featured on the others.

Lark scoffed. “You will not.”

I laughed. “Well, then maybe I’ll just miss you.”

Our eyes met, and he looked away first as he swallowed. I wondered if he was thinking the same thing—about the night I’d sneaked into his room when he was really sick after a chemo treatment. I’d taken the wet rag from the basin and wiped his head, then climbed beside him in bed to offer some body warmth because he was shivering so badly.

When he’d finally fallen asleep with his head against my shoulder, I breathed out in relief. We might not have had a lot in common, but nobody could say they had experienced any of this. The IVs and bags of fluids, around-the-clock nurses, doctors, and the morose faces of our visitors. It made our connection even stronger.

I’d eventually fallen asleep beside him, only to be found by the night-shift nurse and shooed off to my own bed. But she’d winked at me as she helped me get settled in my room, so I knew I wasn’t in too much trouble.

The next day was a flurry of activity as my parents showed up to whisk me away from what they called “that god-awful place.” But it wasn’t that bad, not with Lark there. Mom and Dad were always dressed for work, even at home, and the comparison couldn’t have been starker than when Lark’s mom and stepdad showed up in jeans. Lark’s mom always wore these flowy shirts with beading or embroidery, and my parents referred to her as a bohemian. Like it was a bad word. I just thought she was cool and free-spirited. But it was obvious they looked down on her, which was one of the reasons I’d never shared more about Lark. The one time I’d tried to tell them about my new friend, they’d given me disapproving eyes.

“Don’t get too attached to someone you won’t ever see again,” Mom had said, and I could read the underlying pity in her eyes, either for him or me. What she didn’t say was that his family would never measure up to their society friends.

The truth was we were the same when it came to our health. Just blood and bones and a pumping heart. Ironic, huh?

“Let’s get a move on it, son,” Dad said. “We have a busy day ahead of us.”

“It’s important for Henry to rest when he gets home,” the nurse warned.

“Yes, of course,” Mom replied with a tight smile, as if they knew better than her how to care for me. I felt my face get hot as I turned away to gather my things and place them in the designer tote bags with the logo I recognized all too well. They would never dream of letting me use the plastic bags the nurse had provided.

I hesitated as I followed them into the hallway. The discharge papers had come earlier than expected, and I wondered if my parents had anything to do with that. They had made calls to doctors and demanded stuff before.

“Wait. I’ll meet you at the nurses’ station. I want to say goodbye to someone.”

“Henry,” Dad said sternly.

“Just five minutes.”

I jogged to Lark’s room before they could say anything else.

He was in a chair near the window, reading a book and twirling a strand of his wavy blond hair. One of his nervous habits. That or biting his lip until it became swollen. But I never called him on it. He had every reason to be worried. We all did.

After watching him for a beat more and thinking he looked like a delicate bird right then, I cleared my throat. “I came to say goodbye.”

“Oh, they’re letting you leave early.” His smile was sad as he stood up. “I’m glad you let me know. I was hoping we’d get in one more game of Monopoly.”

My stomach lurched. Lark always thought it was cool that the street names were the same as the ones in Atlantic City, but we always folded early because the game ran too long.

“Yeah, my parents are a bit anxious to get me home.”

“Makes sense.” We stood there awkwardly until he blurted, “I hope you make it.”

“I hope you do too.”

The idea that one of us might not sat heavy in my gut.

“Okay, well…bye.” I lurched forward to draw him into a loose hug. His arms gripped my waist tightly, making my skin tingle. His scent was a mix of watermelon and hospital antiseptic, but I didn’t hold it against him. I probably smelled the same, minus the candy. But it would always remind me of him.

“I’ll miss you,” he said as he drew back. “Wish we lived closer.”

But we were on opposite sides of town.

“I won’t forget you. How could I with a crazy name like Lark Levitt?”

He’d told me his mom was fond of nature and especially birds, which made a ton of sense. She even wore a birdcage necklace. Still, a funny name to give your kid. But also cool too. My parents would’ve only considered giving me some family or important-sounding name.

“You neither, Henry Albrecht. The third.”

I rolled my eyes. “Henners, remember?” It was my nickname at school and on the football field.

Lark smiled. “I remember.”

“Okay, well…” I awkwardly inched toward the door.

“Oh, one more thing.” Lark strode to the drawer, opened one of his notebooks, and retrieved an envelope. “You can read it later.”

Just as he passed it to me, I felt his warm lips against my cheek, and my whole body buzzed to life. I gasped as if I had been shocked—and maybe I had. He stepped back warily and glanced out the window. Not wanting him to think he’d done something wrong, I leaned forward to swipe my mouth against his cheek too. Except he turned his head right then and I kissed the corner of his lips instead.

“Sor…sorry about that.”

His face flushed. “I didn’t mind it.”

It felt like pins and needles were pricking me. And not the kind from the chemo.

It was hard to leave that room, but I forced my feet to move, forced myself not to look back.

There was a lump in my throat the whole way home, like I was leaving him to die there. Okay, that was being dramatic. But I felt so closely tied to him through our shared experience that it was hard to imagine parting ways. I had never felt that connected to another human being before, not even my parents.

I carefully opened the envelope in the back seat, hoping my parents didn’t hear the rustle of paper. A watermelon Jolly Rancher fell to my lap, and I smiled.

I pulled out the folded note and read it.

Henners,

You mean a lot to me.

I’ll never forget you.

It’s been really hard, but you made everything better.

I’ll be rooting for you. Good luck.

XOXO,

Lark

I sucked in a sharp breath at the XOXO written there. That meant like, hugs and kisses, right? I could still feel my lips tingling from that accidental kiss.

Was it accidental?

My heart clenched, aching the entire way home.

“You mean a lot to me.”

I resumed my life almost immediately—my parents made sure of that—and soon enough the hospital stay became a blur. Like looking out of a back window as you drove away from a lengthy trip abroad. Not that a hospital room was a vacation, but Lark had helped alleviate some of the stress.

We never saw each other again. But I would never forget him either.





Christina Lee
Christina's sarcastic view of the world doesn't always match up with her life as a romance author but at least you know her characters will be flawed and real. She writes steamy slow burns with plenty of swoon, because who doesn't melt for those small, tender moments or grand, sweeping gestures? 

She has books published in different sub-genres of romance, but mostly with LGBTQ characters because representation matters and everyone deserves a happily-ever-after. 

You can find more info on her website. From there you can link to her Facebook reader group called The Swoon Room as well as her IG account and newsletter. 


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XOXO #1

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