Monday, November 4, 2024

๐Ÿ’œMonday's Musical Melody๐Ÿ’œ: Fen by Barbara Elsborg



Summary:

An indecent proposal leads to a future neither guy expected.

Fen is broken but does his best to hide the cracks. His life-changing condition might have stolen his first love—ballet, but he’s kind to old ladies, good at his job, and his mum loves him, even if his famous father refuses to acknowledge he exists.

Ripley’s a top flight barrister who’s used to winning. Mostly by fair means, occasionally not. He’s horrified when he learns his manipulative mother has sent family possessions to an auction house. On his way to retrieve them, he encounters Fen.

Cold, rain-soaked and hungry, struggling with his crutch and auction acquisitions, Fen just wants to get home. What he doesn’t want is to be drenched by a car and minutes later, confronted by the bad-tempered driver demanding he hand over his purchases. Hell no!

Ripley gets back his belongings but finds he wants more. Blue-eyed Fen has sparked something to life. Even as his barrister’s brain screams at him to be careful, he makes Fen an outrageous offer. Sleep with me for money. Fen should say no. Yet as he weighs his options, he realises turning Ripley down could be the biggest regret of his life.

In a tale where the pieces don’t always fit, can two imperfect men mend what’s broken in each other?

Warning
Main character with a life-limiting illness. Suicide of a character before story starts. Brief mention of rape and suicide of a man not in the story.




1
Fen hated being late. His alarm had shocked him awake at six-thirty, but getting himself mobile had proved difficult and he’d had to do stretches on the bed to persuade his legs to work properly. Otherwise, he’d have fallen over when he headed to the bathroom. Even getting dressed had been tricky this morning. He was exhausted before he’d left his bedsit. Definitely a day when he needed his crutch.

To make matters worse, the first bus he’d planned to catch didn’t turn up and the next broke down, which meant he arrived at the auction three quarters of an hour after he should have been there. At least his boss, Charles, wouldn’t be waiting to yell at him, though the yelling would come later if Fen had missed any of the items he was supposed to be bidding for.

Fen slipped into the back of the saleroom. A few days ago, he and Charles, the pricklier partner at Winn Brothers Antiques, had been to the auction preview, and Fen had carefully written down the amounts he could go up to in the catalogue, using tiny print by each item. Partly so no one but him could read what he’d written, but mostly because he knew how Charles would react if he didn’t stick to the limits. It would have been easier to bid online, but for some reason, Charles didn’t like internet bidding with this particular auction house so Fen had been instructed to come in person.

He quite liked days out but he was already stressed in case he’d missed any of the lots. There were a few empty seats near the rostrum but Fen didn’t want to draw everyone’s attention, particularly in the middle of an item being sold. He spotted a Victorian washstand that looked sturdy enough to prop up a lightweight like him, wedged his forearm crutch between it and a bookcase, and unfastened his coat. Now he had both hands free to hold the catalogue, pen and his bidding paddle.

The auctioneer brought his hammer down on a nest of tables, not on Fen’s list—phew—and announced, “Item twenty-nine.” The first item Fen had to bid for was thirty-four so there’d be no need to grovel to Charles.

When Fen heard that lots thirty-four and thirty-five had been withdrawn, he mentally groaned. Two items on his list. It wasn’t hard to predict Charles’ reaction. Even if Fen managed to win all of the other lots he’d been instructed to bid for, his boss would still find a way to be pissed off with him. Charles only had to look at Fen to be annoyed.

When they’d been to the preview, Fen had seen something he wanted too. It was an old wooden box with a damaged inlay top, though it was in a cardboard box with a lot of other stuff that he didn’t particularly want. It all depended on the price.

“Item thirty-nine,” said the auctioneer and Fen perked up. “A pair of rustic early 20th century, Lutyens-style, hardwood garden seats. Who’ll start me at five hundred pounds?”

Gulp. That was a lot, though the seats were lovely. Fen’s heart banged in his chest as he waited to see the level of interest before he bid. Five hundred was the maximum he could go to. The auctioneer came down in hundreds to get the bidding started with such affected incredulity in his voice that Fen smiled. He liked this guy. Finally, a dealer Fen knew came in at two hundred. Fen joined in at three and won them at four hundred and fifty. He held up the paddle for his number to be taken.

It was a good start but he missed out on the next three items. By a long way on two and by one bid on a punchbowl. If Charles had been here, he might have gone a little higher but Fen never went over the amount he’d been told because he had once, and Charles had taken the money from his wages. The next two lots Charles wanted had been withdrawn and Fen winced.

The box was up next.

“Lot number fifty,” called the auctioneer. “Photo frames, stamp album—no penny blacks—my son checked.”

There was a ripple of laughter.

“A few ornaments, coins, a wooden box and a small painting. No attributed artist. Several other bits and pieces. Where shall we start? Twenty pounds?”

A woman close to the front of the room bid twenty. Fen waited. There were a few people interested and Fen came in at forty-five. He’d only go to fifty so that was his one and only bid.

But when someone bid fifty, Fen waved his paddle to bid again. Shit! He’d broken his own rule. That was it. No more.

There were no other bids and the lot was his. The total cost would be more like seventy-five after auction fees. Money he couldn’t afford, money he shouldn’t have spent, but if he could restore that box and tart up the picture frames and hopefully find something of value in the rest, he should make some money.

Maybe that win turned his luck because he snagged the last four items on the list at well below the limits Charles had set. Hopefully that might improve his boss’s disposition when he learned what he didn’t get. Fen texted to tell him the auction was done, gave details of what needed to be collected, then went to pay.

Fen being unable to drive was another source of aggravation to Charles. Actually, Fen could drive, but only automatics and the big van wasn’t an automatic. All items had to be taken away on the day of the auction so Charles would have to come and drag his lazy arse of a son, Scott, with him because Fen wasn’t supposed to do any heavy lifting. At least there were enough items to make Charles’s journey worthwhile.

Fen handed over cash for his lot so it didn’t go on the Winn account. In theory, he should have used a different paddle but the lady behind the counter had let him do this before and she did again today.

Fen shot her a smile. “You’re an angel.”

“And you’re a charmer.”

“Only on Wednesdays.”

She laughed. “It’s Tuesday.”

“Oops.”

Fen waited for more than ninety minutes with no sign of Charles. It had rained solidly for most of that time, but at least Fen had been able to wait inside, though it wasn’t much warmer. Abe, one of the porters, had brought him a cup of tea. Fen tried to tell himself it wasn’t because Abe felt sorry for him, but it probably was.

“Sure someone’s coming?” Abe asked as closing time loomed.

“Yes.” No way would Charles want to pay storage fees.

When the familiar van pulled in, Fen fastened his coat, turned up his collar and went outside. He was surprised to see Charles on his own. It meant Fen would have to give him a hand loading up, a thought that made him wince. He put his crutch aside. Charles backed into the loading bay and Fen stayed under the overhang out of the rain.

“Those garden seats were pricey,” Charles barked as he approached.

“They’re nice though,” Fen pointed out. “Elegant. Just need a bit of cleaning up.” If Fen had a garden, he’d love seats like that, not that he’d ever be able to afford them. Or a place with a garden.

Charles huffed.

It was just as well Abe came out to help because Fen was struggling and Charles was getting exasperated. When his boss glared at the Victorian revolving bookcase Abe had lifted into the van, Fen braced himself.

“I didn’t tell you to buy that,” Charles said.

“Yes, you did.” But Fen’s heart dropped into his stomach. He pulled the catalogue from his coat pocket to show Charles he was wrong, and found it snatched from his fingers.

“Idiot,” Charles muttered under his breath. He brandished the catalogue in Fen’s face. “The item below, not that one.”

There was no mistaking the mark on the catalogue. “You told me the bookcase. I remember you said you had—”

“How much did you pay for this rubbish?” Charles checked the invoice, then raised his eyebrows. “Good grief.”

“It’s not rubbish,” Fen said.

He suddenly found himself knocked against the van with Charles right in his face. If Fen hadn’t had the vehicle at his back, he’d have fallen.

“Don’t fucking argue with me!”

Fen pressed his lips together, rain battering his face. This was more than Charles’ usual bad temper and Fen wondered what had happened. Had Scott pissed him off? After Charles went back into the building, Abe came over.

“You okay?” Abe asked quietly.

Fen nodded.

“That was well out of order.”

Fen moved out of the rain and retrieved his crutch. Had he made a mistake with the bookcase? He’d been sure he hadn’t but…

When Charles returned, he kicked at the box Fen had bought. “What’s this?”

“It’s mine. I bought it with my money.” Why did he feel he had to add that?

“Then you can damn well take it with you.”

I’m not getting a lift? Fen had assumed Charles would go back to the shop. Shit. That was a problem.

After the last item had been strapped into the van, Charles jumped down from the back, then closed and locked the rear doors. He drove away without a word and Fen stared at the cardboard box, which was getting wetter and wetter. No way could he carry it.

“You going to manage?” Abe asked.

“I’ll see how much I can get in my backpack.” Dump what he couldn’t.

“Want me to lift the box back up onto the loading bay?”

“Please, Abe.”

It made it easier for Fen to get at the contents and it was out of the rain.

“I’ll see if I can find you a plastic bag. Keep things dry.”

Fen shot him a look of thanks. He took off his backpack and began to slot in the items he most wanted. The wooden box first, then the stamp album and the painting. The coins and little bits were easy to slip in the side pockets and he packed in as much as he could. After he’d zipped it up, Abe returned with two supermarket bags.

“Thank you.” Fen shot him a smile.

“Charles Winn is a wanker. But don’t tell anyone I said so.”

Fen chuckled. “Don’t tell anyone I agree with you.”

He managed to get everything that was left into one of the bags, then covered the contents with the other before hooking the bag onto the handle of his crutch. If he was careful, he should be okay. It left him unbalanced, but this was the way he transported his shopping. He could cope.

Fen was wet and cold before he was halfway to the road. The rain was still teeming down, little streams surging down the hill. When he reached the point where the drive met the road, he stopped for a breather. A sleek silver car turned sharply into the driveway of the auction house and hit a huge puddle, spraying an arc of dirty water over Fen’s coat and trousers. It even splattered his face.

“Hey!” Fen shouted and wiped his cheeks with his gloved hand.

The driver either hadn’t noticed or didn’t care because he continued up to the auction house. What a wanker.

Now Fen was even wetter along with pissed off and miserable. Thoughts of calling an Uber slid into, then quickly out of his head. A waste of money when he could use public transport. He just had to keep going towards the bus stop, which wasn’t as close as he’d have liked it to be. A few moments later, the same silver car drew up alongside. Fen supposed it wasn’t too late for an apology. Or maybe a lift? If he dared ask. That’ll be the day! Plus he was too filthy for a car like this.The window went down.

“You have something of mine,” said the driver.

Fen blinked water from his lashes. That had sounded rather confrontational. He bent to look at the man, who was indeed glaring, though Fen did notice the glare faltered for a moment as they locked eyes. What the hell have I done? The guy had a thin, angular face, dark eyes and dark hair cut in one of those floppy styles that looked effortless and had probably cost more than Fen’s haircuts for the entire year. Fen’s hair was not artfully scruffy, merely scruffy. The man was in his late thirties, maybe early forties, and wore a white shirt and blue tie. Fen had a thing for smart businessmen, not that he’d ever gone out with one, but he didn’t like the anger. That alone made him not Fen’s type. Life was too short for unnecessary aggression. If Charles came up in his face again like that, Fen would look for another job. Possibly.

“I need that box of items you bought.”

Ah. Now Fen understood. He pushed himself upright. What had he missed that was valuable? Some spectacular stamp? A rare coin?

“I’ll give you a hundred pounds.”

“No thanks.” Fen kept walking. The car moved along at Fen’s pace and much as he might have wanted to, he couldn’t move any faster. He palmed his phone, ready to take a photo of the number plate if things turned nasty.

“That’s twenty-five more than you paid.”

“Even so, I’m not interested.”

“For f… The lot was supposed to have been withdrawn.”

“That’s not my fault.”

“I want it back.”

“If you hadn’t soaked me when you went through that puddle, I might have thought about it.” If he’d said please, asked nicely, then maybe, but being drenched in dirty water had hardened Fen’s heart.

“Oh Christ. Did I? Sorry. So the box?”

Oh fuck off. That wasn’t an apology. Fen had had enough of being pushed around. He kept walking. When he reached the bus stop, he looked back to see the car pulling up and the driver’s door opening. Fen snapped a couple of pictures. A horn blared as a bus came up at the rear of the car and to Fen’s relief, the man shut his door and pulled away. My bus too! That was lucky.

He pressed his phone to the reader, and the driver set off again before Fen was sitting down, which caused him to stumble, but he sank onto the seat with an audible sigh of relief. Except… He felt a bit guilty. If that lot was supposed to have been withdrawn, had the auction house messed up? There had been a lot of withdrawn items. More than Fen had usually seen. Maybe they’d all belonged to that guy. Some vindictive wife sending his stuff to be sold?

No one sat next to him for the entire journey. He didn’t blame them. He was soaked. Water was dripping down his neck from his hair and there was nothing he could do except shiver. He hadn’t taken his backpack off so he had to sit forward on the seat, the carrier bag on his lap, and he wasn’t comfortable. Fen rested his head against the window and wished, not for the first time, that this wasn’t his life.

He allowed himself one moment of misery, but no way would he let self-pity consume him. It was his life and there wasn’t much he could do about it. It wasn’t fair but then little was.

His stop was coming up so he pressed the bell and heaved himself to his feet. The stop for the next bus was a little further up the street and according to his app, due in ten minutes. He grew colder as he waited and his shivering increased. Wet, cold and unhappy. The unhappy was annoying because that wasn’t him. He wasn’t relentlessly cheerful, but he did try to stay upbeat. What was the point, otherwise? How would wallowing in misery help?

Though he did need something to change. All very well thinking he’d find another job, but that wasn’t easy. He was limited by his condition and there wasn’t much he could actually do. If he had money… He was saving what he could, the reason he hadn’t called an Uber, but he had a long way to go before he’d have enough to make his life better.

He wished he was home. He liked his little bedsit, with its own bathroom and little kitchen area with a washer-drier. He didn’t like the stairs he had to climb to reach it, nor the growing damp patch on the ceiling that increasingly looked like Australia, or the occasional gale-force wind that seeped in through the badly fitted windows, but it was home.

Right above a betting shop, but still… Fen wasn’t tempted to throw his money away gambling, unlike Scott who often bragged about how much he’d won, so when he was quiet, Fen guessed he’d lost.

By the time he’d climbed the stairs and unlocked the door of his bedsit, he was shattered. He turned up the heating and hung his coat over a chair. After he’d sponged off the worst of the dirt, he pushed the chair close to the lukewarm radiator before he stripped off. His jeans were sodden, his goose-bump-covered legs white from the cold.

A hot shower revived him and once he was in his sleep pants, long-sleeved T-shirt, fleecy grey dressing gown—thanks, Mum—and thick slipper socks—thanks again, Mum—he put on a load of laundry, then sat at the table and emptied his backpack and the carrier bag. Everything was dry, which was a relief. He’d sort it all out after he’d eaten.

Making beans on toast added a little warmth to the room. Eating them, warmed Fen. His bedsit faced the street, but there was an office on the other side of the wall that belonged to the betting shop. Sometimes he wished he had a neighbour that lived there but then again, it meant there was never any noise in the evenings, though a fair amount on Saturdays.

After he’d eaten, he had a cup of tea, no milk, he was supposed to avoid dairy products, and carefully went through his purchases. Most of the picture frames were modern and in good condition. One was silver. He took them apart to check under the backing but found nothing hidden, no money—it had been known—or X-marks-the-spot treasure maps—he lived in hope.

The stamp album was interesting, if you were into stamps, though not many people were these days. Fen checked for a Mauritius Post Office stamp, just in case, because that would be a life changer, but he suspected this was a child’s collection, though it was old. Maybe the contents of the album were worth a bit more research. Same with the coins. There were a couple of interesting-looking Roman ones.

The man in the car saying the box shouldn’t have been sold still niggled him. Fen would have to decide what to do about that because he had a feeling the guy wasn’t going to give up. The auction house wouldn’t release Fen’s details, but they might contact him to ask him to return the lot. A thought that made him check for a missed call, but there was nothing.

The little painting looked Victorian. It was an original. A mother sitting on a highbacked chair, a small boy standing next to her. They were always so stiff, Victorian portraits and photographs. He understood why no-one smiled on the photos because they had to keep still while the shutter was open, but why not smile for a painting?

This one might be worth something if he could find out who painted it and who these people were. Did the frame hide a signature? He could take off the back and look. Except even as he’d thought it, he didn’t feel comfortable about doing that anymore. He no longer felt as if any of these things belonged to him, even though he’d acquired them legally.

The wooden box, the one item he’d really wanted, was lovely even with the damaged inlay. And it was locked. Fen huffed. He hadn’t noticed that it was partly a puzzle box. Repairing the top and a dodgy hinge wouldn’t be difficult, but getting into the box might be. If he could open the top part, it might enable him to deal with the puzzle part of it.

He pushed to his feet and brought over his bag of tricks. He kept some of his tools here, the rest at work. It took him a few minutes to click open the lock. Inside was a small velvet bag and in the bag was a medal. Not just any medal. The George Cross. Wow. Fen had never held one before. It was awarded for acts of great heroism in circumstances of extreme danger. The name of the recipient was engraved on the rim. Russell Belmont. Was he a relation of the man in the car?

Fen typed into Google… Russell Belmont George Cross. Once he’d started to read, he couldn’t stop. Belmont had received the medal for valour shown in withstanding torture at the hands of Communist forces during the Korean War. When Fen read what he’d been through, he was horrified. This medal had to be returned to the man’s family. And all the other things too.

But he wanted his money back.


Barbara Elsborg
Barbara Elsborg lives in Kent in the south of England. She always wanted to be a spy, but having confessed to everyone without them even resorting to torture, she decided it was not for her. Volcanology scorched her feet. A morbid fear of sharks put paid to marine biology. So instead, she spent several years successfully selling cyanide.

After dragging up two rotten, ungrateful children and frustrating her sexy, devoted, wonderful husband (who can now stop twisting her arm) she finally has time to conduct an affair with an electrifying plugged-in male, her laptop.

Her earlier books feature quirky heroines and bad boys, now she concentrates on the bad boys, and hopes her books are as much fun to read as they are to write.


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EMAIL: bjelsborg@gmail.com




Sunday, November 3, 2024

๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ‘ป๐ŸŽƒ๐ŸŽญWeek at a Glance๐ŸŽญ๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ‘ป๐Ÿ’œ: 10/28/24 - 11/3/24



























October Book of the Month: Kill Me Sweetly by Davidson King



Summary:

Saint Brothers #2
Sometimes reality is the nightmare you must conquer.

JJ has a good life. One where he lives with the people he loves, gets to work in Saintly Sweets with his delicious boyfriend, and takes things a day at a time. Of course, that is until he comes across a broken boy so lost in a nightmare, he vows to do everything he can to help him wake from it.

There’s nothing Shepard Saint won’t do for his JJ. Even help him figure out how to save someone that may be lost to the darkness. He knows this won’t be easy, and the deeper they go, the harder it becomes to climb out.

Shep, JJ, and the rest of the Saint brothers find themselves knee deep in the worst of humanity as they try to save a lot more than they bargained for. Saving people is something Shep and JJ are born to do, but when the enemy tries to destroy everything they love, they almost lose themselves to the evils of the world. Can the love they have for each other be enough to make it out alive or have they finally met an enemy far too powerful?

Kill Me Sweetly is book 2 in my Saint Brothers series. It can be read on its own but if you’re one for order, Slay Ride is book 1.




You'd think I would get tired of saying this but it's true and for that I never tire of mentioning it: Davidson King has done it again!!!  Not that I ever any doubts that I was going to experience an entertaining read but her continued ability to harness the ever coveted "pulls the reader in" factor is just one of the greats of this book.

When I read Slay Ride last year, the book that introduced us to the Saint Brothers and their brand of justice, I knew JJ and Shep would be amazing together. Boy was I right.  Kill Me Sweetly is definitely their story but I really love the inclusion of all the brothers as well as JJ's BFF and half of the starring couple in Slay Ride, Mason. Obviously all the Saints would be involved as they are a team but it was the inclusion of the amazing chemistry between all of the family and that's the best part, JJ and Mason are family too not just the significant other of 2 brothers.  

I know that not everyone enjoys books with dual POVs but I find them to be among my favorites because we get to see a story from both characters and for me at least that helps to connect with them.  From the lowest of the lows to the highest of the highs we feel and see everything which makes them more real and lets me feel I'm not just a reader on the outside looking in but right there in the room with them, a part of the story if you will not just an observer.

Now I won't go into too much detail so I don't spoil anything.  Books with couples who are established prior to page one can lack a certain will-they-won't-they-go-get-them adrenaline rush but JJ and Shep quickly find themselves with a helluva loaded plate before them that in truth you'd expect the relationship part to take a backseat.  Okay, perhaps it does but never so far back that there is ever any doubt where they stand in each other's lives and heart.  To put it simply: they are just too darn cute together that I'll take any part of them the author gives us and let's face it, it's that chemistry and cute-iblity that drives them to do what is necessary to empty that loaded plate.

As for the mystery, the case of rescue and revenge JJ brings into the house.  I'm not going to spill any deets.  Won't spoil anything!  I will say that darkness is there in droves.  Personally, I'd say Slay Ride seemed to have more "on page" darkness, Kill Me Sweetly has plenty on page as well but IMO there seems to be more "hinting at".  I'll try to briefly explain without spoiling, the darkness, the evil of the bad guys is definitely spelled out but I found my mind imagining the depth of the evil going far beyond the words.  It's this imagining that put me inside the story right alongside the Saint Brothers dishing out their special brand of justice and why as a whole Kill Me Sweetly is far darker than Slay Ride.  However you see it though just know the author gets your blood boiling and skin itching to help and that is what makes this a winning gem of storytelling masterpieces.

Personal observation that I've gotta add: if this is what ends up on paper/screen then what heights of devilish mayhem lurks in Davidson King's brain yet to be let out? I ain't saying it's a bad thing but I guess I'm thinking this is one woman you do not want to piss off๐Ÿ˜‰.  I'll admit, I feel blessed to be friends with her but know I only give truly honest reviews so that kindred spiritship does not factor into play when I review.  I know she's an amazing woman, great wife, great mother, great daughter and great friend but when I read her stories I can't help but think that the margin of error for triggering her balance of whether her life story gets featured on ID's Deadly Women or made into a Hallmark movie is pretty darn slim๐Ÿ˜‰.  Either way the stories she brings us never fail to entertain and warm the heart, which is a an odd thing to say considering the usual darker tone of most of her books but I guess that blending of emotional response in me expresses my love of her storytelling acumen better than any other words I can think of.  

RATING:




Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.  ~Dalai Lama

CHAPTER ONE
JJ (JAXON)
I adored Shepard Saint.I really, really did. It had been two and half years since he’d entered my world and the second I’d laid eyes on that man, I’d known my life would never be the same.

Granted, we’d met under serious duress. My best friend forever, Mason, had been assaulted, and the five Saint brothers: Shep, Angel, Noel, Nick, and Gabe—now his forever love—had come to his rescue. Then they’d kidnapped him.…People are weird. Anyway, turned out the Saint brothers had been righting a lot of wrongs. Some seriously high-powered people had killed their foster parents and sister, and by happenstance, we’d later found out that the fire Mason’s folks had been killed in was set by these bigwigs who’d wanted to own the whole town.

Of course, drama breeds drama—and that had ended up exposing a human trafficking ring, and again Mason had been taken and hurt so badly. My sweet friend was never the same after that, but the light was slowly returning to his eyes.

We’d rescued two amazing kids from the clutches of their parents and these disgusting assholes. Heather and Andrew Gilly were happily living with their aunt Tessa and in the two-years-plus that had passed, they’d made huge strides.

Every person responsible for the pain they’d caused…well, they were dead. Weird, right? Don’t answer that—plausible deniability!

When we left that town of nightmares and moved across the country, Mason bought a plot of land and built a big house on it so we could all live together while not being on top of each other. If you hadn’t guessed, my BFF was loaded.

We started a business to protect and help people. Angel was very passionate about it and while Gabe and Mason took part, they didn’t have too much on their plate with regard to clients. Business was slow, and that had a lot to do with the fact that we weren’t advertising. I mean, it wasn’t like we could say, “Want someone dead? We’re here for you.”

So, Shep, my hunk of a man who loves to cook, opened a bakery, which was also a front for our murder-ish business. This past year with no drama had forced Shep and me to really see who we were and if we could be something without all the gunfire and mayhem.

It was challenging, but like my dad always said, “If you can take all the parts you don’t like about someone and say the good far outweighs the bad, it’s worth fighting for.”

That was what we’d been doing, fighting for each other. A day at a time. I mean, the good did outweigh the bad. The sex was…amazing. See, Shep was a big guy in all areas: Six foot three, he was broad with mouthwatering muscles. Brown hair with hints of red adorned his beard, and his Viking hairstyle was to die for—shaved on the sides and long and thick down the middle. And those eyes, blue like the most gorgeous sea. Whenever his gaze met mine, I turned to goo. And that whiskey-rough voice…

More than that, he was a good man. He cared about me a lot. He was ridiculously observant, and all I needed to do was sigh, and he’d be like, “What’s up, babe?” He was also my first-ever boyfriend. I didn’t commit, but with life being what it was…two years had sped by, and here we were. Together. Why was I afraid of us, when at the same time I couldn’t imagine us not being together?

I’d have to figure this all out, and soon. Shep was getting antsy with my odd mood swings, and that wasn’t fair to him. He knew I wasn’t sure what the future held, and all he wanted was a future with me.

I pulled the covers off my body. It was morning, and I’d promised Shep I’d run to the store and pick up the flour and eggs he needed for a wedding cake he was making. I stared at the empty side of the bed, which was cold to the touch. He’d been up for hours, unable to sleep past six. Not me—I’d sleep all day if you’d let me.

The clock read eight thirty, so I had to shake my butt. He was getting started on the cake at ten. Fortunately, the store was only two blocks from his bakery, and the weather appeared to be perfect, so I’d be able to park and walk it.

After a quick shower, I brushed my teeth and combed my blond hair out of my face. I needed a haircut. I wasn’t ugly; I was good-looking, actually. But very different from Shep. I was blond with green eyes, five foot seven, and while I wasn’t lanky, I didn’t have muscles. I had defined skin…sure, we’ll go with that.

I left the bedroom and the house was quiet, which meant everyone was already out for the day, because no one in this house slept late. Did nobody appreciate sleeping in?

In the kitchen, Mason sat at the table with his laptop open.

“Morning,” I said as I went straight for the coffeepot.

“Hey, you’re up early for you.”

I rolled my eyes and poured the sweet nectar into my mug.

“I see you woke up and chose sass for the day.” I moved over to the table with my coffee and sat with him.

“Always.” He smiled and went back to whatever was pulling his attention to the screen.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing really. Angel, Nick, and Noel left to help some client and they can’t find any decent lodging, and then the twins started fighting and Angel called me.”

I nodded into my cup. Sounded right. Noel and Nick were identical twins with similar personalities, but boy could they fight. Poor Angel for being stuck with them.

“You’re trying to find a place for them?”

“I am.”

“You’re kind.” I drained my cup and brought it to the sink to rinse out.

“I just don’t want Angel to drive the car down an embankment and kill them all. We just bought the thing.”

Chuckling, I opened the pantry and grabbed the reusable bags for shopping. “I love how your concern is for the car and not the lives.”

He shrugged. He adored the brothers, as did I. No one would ever question that.

“I’m off to go get my man some flour and eggs.”

“Have a good day.” He was distracted, so I kissed the top of his head and left.

We had several cars, which was nice. Nothing ostentatious, thankfully. I often opted for one of the SUVs, and today it was the Traverse. I’d drive to the bakery and walk to the store. While the bakery was close to where I had to shop, it was a good twenty minutes to get there, and I wasn’t one of those “Exercise is fun,” kinds of people.

As I pulled the SUV up next to his motorcycle—because my boyfriend, he was that kind of guy—I noticed the bakery was buzzing. I was thrilled it was doing so well. He’d even had to hire someone to man the register, and I knew he’d need more help soon. I loved assisting him, and I’d continue to do so until then.

I bypassed going in, knowing he’d distract me, and walked along the street toward the little mom-and-pop grocery store.

The day was really perfect, and I couldn’t help but smile as the sun shone, the birds chirped, people laughed, the boy stared at the dumpster, the… Hold on a moment.

I took a few steps back and double-checked the alley. Yep, there was someone leering at the dumpster. He couldn’t have been very old, maybe sixteen. He was filthy, no shoes or socks on his feet, rags for clothes. He was covered in dirt, and I couldn’t tell much else about him.

I looked up and down the sidewalk, and while I should have texted someone something like, “Hey, guess what? I found a dirty man who might be insane and eat my face, but I decided to take a chance. Pray for me,” I didn’t. I just took a few steps closer.

“Hey.”

Nothing. Not a twitch, nothing at all.

“Are you okay?” I asked a little louder.

Still no movement. “My name is JJ, what’s yours?”

Okay, was he a lifelike mannequin or something? That would be so embarrassing. No, I was able to see his chest rise and fall.

“Are you hungry? I was just going to the grocery store; I can get you something.”

Shit. I was going to have to nudge him. I put my bags on the ground, slipped my hand into my pocket to grip the knife Shep demanded I carry at all times, and stepped a little closer to the man.

“Hello, can you hear me?” Maybe he was deaf. I poked his arm with my finger and he did a slow pan, stopping when he met my eyes.

“You don’t look so great. Can I help you?”

He cocked his head but still didn’t talk. His eyes were brown—that much I could tell. And vacant, like the lights were on but nobody was home.

I held out my hand to him, silently praying he didn’t attack. “Come on, I can get you some food.”

He stared at my hand for a beat then back at me. I watched as he lifted his arm and placed his—oh Lord—bloody hand into mine.

“There’s a bakery right over here, has cupcakes and muffins, whatever you want.”

I started to walk, glad that he came with me. Maybe once he sat, ate, and got cleaned up, we’d be able to figure out what was going on.

One thing I was sure of was that Shep wasn’t gonna be happy.



Slay Ride  /  Kill Me Sweetly



Davidson King
Davidson King, always had a hope that someday her daydreams would become real-life stories. As a child, you would often find her in her own world, thinking up the most insane situations. It may have taken her awhile, but she made her dream come true with her first published work, Snow Falling.

She managed to wrangle herself a husband who matched her crazy and they hatched three wonderful children.

If you were to ask her what gave her the courage to finally publish, she’d tell you it was her amazing family and friends. Support is vital in all things and when you’re afraid of your dreams, it will be your cheering section that will lift you up.


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Kill Me Sweetly #2

Series


๐Ÿ’œSunday's Safe Word Shelf๐Ÿ’œ: No Shame by Nora Phoenix



Summary:

No Shame #4
Brad feels nothing but shame about himself.

Shame about his sexual needs.
Shame about his reputation of being a slut.
Shame about his medical problem no one knows about.

No one, except his best friend Charlie, but no matter what feelings Brad may have for him, he’s not going there. Charlie deserves better, and Brad craves something Charlie can’t provide.

Brad wants just sex—filthy, slutty sex, and he gets what he wants with FBI agent Miles. But then Miles wants more than sex, and something blooms between him and Charlie as well. Now Brad is screwed, because he can’t let anyone close, not ever again.

Because nobody ever chooses him. Or do they?

No Shame is a steamy MMM romance and the fourth and last book in the No Shame Series that needs to be read in order. It ends with a happy ever after for all characters, including those from the previous books in the series. Please note the trigger warnings in the front of the book.



1
Miles Hampton awoke to the sensation of his cock being sucked. Quite expertly, as a matter of fact. A hot, wet mouth with a devious tongue that licked him top to bottom and back, then teased his slit. A throat that seemed to lack a gag reflex, as it sucked him in all the way, with pressure that drew his balls up tight after mere seconds. He clenched his fists, as his orgasm barreled through him.

“Thank you,” he managed.

Warm hands cleaned his cock with what smelled like a baby wipe, then put it back in his pajama bottoms. “You’re welcome. Sleep well.”

He was halfway back asleep when it hit him. Who the fuck had just sucked him off? Had he seen him before? Yes. Yesterday, he’d quietly slipped into the room as well. Dark hair, tanned skin, gorgeous brown eyes. A quiet little mouse, who could suck cock like it was all he did.

Miles dreamed of him, that slick mouth, that perfect tongue. What was his name?

It was hard to stay awake, with so many drugs in his system. Painkillers, sedatives, whatever else he needed to not die. He kept waiting for his balls to start hurting, but they never did. Had they started giving him hormones after all?

He came in his sleep. Or had he been awake?

He woke up, knowing he’d orgasmed again, but his pajama bottoms were dry. What the hell?

The next time he roused when warm hands dragged down his pajamas. He reached out, slower than he’d liked, but still fast enough to catch the guy’s hand. Slim. Soft.

“Who are you?” he croaked.

“I’m Brad. Can I suck you off?”

“Hell, yes. Please.”

He put his hand on dark messy curls, so soft to his touch. He held it there until he came hard, groaning as he spurted cum into that perfect mouth. Who the hell was this?

Brad.

Brad with the perfect mouth.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Sleep well.”

Hadn’t he said that before? Deja vu.

Pain radiated from his heavy balls into his cock, his legs. It had been too long. He moved his hand down, vicious pain stabbing him in the ribs, reached inside his pants. Rock hard, of course. That never changed. Fuck, he hated this.

He jerked himself once, bit his lip from crying out as the uncoordinated move sent a wave of pain through him. The door opened, and he was too slow to pull out.

Shit.What would they think? Pervert. He was a fucking pervert.

“I’m sorry. I’m here now.”

Before he could say another word, his hand was pulled off his cock, and that mouth descended. Wet heat, tongue, hard sucking. He exploded, tears forming in his eyes as his balls furiously emptied. Fuuuuuuuuck.

He looked up, met apologetic brown eyes. “I couldn’t make it here earlier. I’m so sorry. Do you need another one?”

“Brad?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“You suck cock like a champ,” he heard himself say, his eyes drifting shut again.

A low chuckle. “I’ll take that as a yes. Close your eyes, I’ve got you.”

It took slightly longer, but when his second release hit him, he fell asleep instantly.


* * *

Charlie studied himself in the mirror above the bathroom sink. A month after the assault, his face finally looked normal again instead of the black-and-blue freak show that had slowly transformed in multiple shades of purple and blue. Zack had hit him straight in the face, multiple times, and it had shown. Fuck, his face had looked like a freaking rainbow flag, only less pretty.

Goddamn Zack. Fucking asshole.

Nope, he still wasn’t over his anger. Noah had talked to him about stages of grief, had offered to listen whenever Charlie wanted to talk. And Charlie had poured his heart out, but not to Noah. He’d shared what had happened with Brad, who was a way better listener than many people gave him credit for. Still, he couldn’t tell him everything, not when it was so stupid, so unbelievably stupid. He’d been such a fucking idiot.

Noah had said the process of grieving over what had happened with Zach started with denial, which in Charlie’s case had lasted for months. Why the hell had he stayed that long? It had been months since the first time Zack had hit him—and he’d still stayed with him. He’d known the guy was a massive dick, and not in the good way, but he hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself, let alone to others.

To Brad. That’s what it came down to, didn’t it? He hadn’t wanted to admit to Brad that Brad had been right all along. He’d warned Charlie against Zack from the day he met him, back when Charlie had been too starry-eyed and impressed that the sexy cop was even giving him the time of day to listen. God, Charlie had been such a fucking naive kid. Brad had been a loyal friend, but he’d warned Charlie repeatedly. And fuck him to hell, he’d been completely right. Of course.

At least Zack hadn’t given him any VDs, what with all his cheating Charlie had already suspected and that Brad had confirmed. He didn’t blame Brad for not saying anything—he’d been in an impossible position, since Charlie hadn’t been open to hearing anything negative about Zack. The one outing he’d done since the assault had been to a clinic to get tested, and thank fuck everything had come back negative. But what a fucking asshole Zack had been, to even approach Brad for a fuck.

Charlie hadn’t made it past the second stage yet: anger. Deep, raging anger. He felt it bubbling inside him at times, making him all restless and edgy. The fact that he’d been fired from his job—working as a virtual personal assistant to a fashion designer had been kinda hard after the assault, and the man had fired him days later, the jerk—and couldn’t do his drag act either, which he loved so much, didn’t help. He was going stir crazy.

Maybe it was time to go job hunting, even if the thought of going outside scared the fuck out of him. Outside was where Zack was, and so far, he’d shown no sign of giving up on finding Charlie. He’d called relentlessly, until Charlie had changed his number, and Brad had resorted to that same tactic since he’d been inundated with calls as well. Even Blake had been approached. It was only a matter of time before Zack would find him…and going outside would only increase his chances of being found. No, he’d stay inside for now, in this safe place where people were nice and friendly.

He checked himself again. He’d always been on the pale side, but right now his skin was downright ghostly, contrasting starkly against his dark hair. His eyes looked even bigger than they usually did, probably because he’d lost some weight he couldn’t afford to. He was already so fucking frail. The cute, pint-sized twink—what a horrible clichรฉ. And he fucking oozed rainbows out of his pores without wanting to, alerting everyone in his vicinity that yes, he was gay, thank you very much. Fuck my life.

He made his way downstairs. Brad was already at work, but Noah was on the couch doing something on his iPad with Indy curled up against him, reading a book. Ever since Indy had come home, those two had been inseparable. Charlie had sighed with the warm and fuzzies more than once, watching them kiss, or cuddle, and touch.

And yet, despite the joy that was apparent over their reunification, there was a lingering sadness in both their eyes, especially Indy’s. Was it a residue of the trauma he’d been through? Charlie wasn’t sure.

“Good morning,” Indy greeted him, friendly as ever.

“Hey, Charlie,” Noah said, looking up from his iPad.

Max, Brad’s dog, was on the floor in the living room and lifted his head for a sec to check who it was, then went right back to sleep.

“Hi. Did you guys have breakfast already? If not, I could make some?”

“You’re the guest here,” Indy protested. “Shouldn’t we be making you something?”

Charlie grinned. “Sugar, I’ve been here for a month. Pretty sure we’re past the guest stage. Also, in case you hadn’t noticed yet, your boyfriend can’t cook. He managed to burn an omelet the first week I was here. That in itself is quite the feat, actually.”

Indy laughed. “I know, but he has other redeeming qualities to make up for it.” He shoved Noah playfully, who shot him a quasi-indignant look in retribution.

“Yeah, somehow, I didn’t think you picked him for his culinary talents,” Charlie said.

Something flashed over Indy’s face that was gone too fast to interpret, though it had looked a hell of a lot like sadness.

“It’s not like Brad is much better,” Noah fired back.

“Oh, I know, but he’s not my boyfriend.”

Noah and Indy shared a look that Charlie refused to interpret. He was pretty sure they had their thoughts about him and Brad. After all, he and Brad were two gay, single men who were really close and who had been staying in the same room now for a month. It made sense that they’d be together, right? Fuck, they had no idea.

“Speaking of that,” Noah said. “We need to ask you something.”

Charlie lowered himself on a chair across from them. Was this when they were telling him it was time to move out? He couldn’t blame them, not after staying way past his expiration date already. Anyone else would have kicked him out weeks ago.

“We’re not kicking you out, Charlie,” Noah said, his voice warm and kind. The guy was damn good at reading minds, Charlie had noticed on more than one occasion.

“You know about Miles, right?” Indy asked.

Miles. Sure. The gay, hunky FBI agent who was daily reaping the benefits of Brad’s extraordinary cock sucking skills. Not that Charlie would know from experience, of course. Brad didn’t see him that way, would never even approach him for something like that. No, he only knew from Brad’s stories, because while the guy was a total introvert with Indy and Noah, he gave Charlie a daily recap of his sexual encounters in private. It was the sweetest torture.

He merely nodded at Indy.

“He’ll be released from the hospital in a few days. He has no close family, and no friends nearby that he can stay with. We’d love to invite him to stay with us as well, but we wanted to make sure you’d be okay with it.”

Charlie shrugged. “Sure. It’s your house anyway.”

“We want to make sure you’d feel safe,” Noah stressed.

Charlie frowned. Why wouldn’t he? The guy was an FBI agent, for fuck’s sake. Then it hit him. “Just because one cop turned out to be a massive asshole who beat up his boyfriend doesn’t mean I won’t ever trust cops or authority figures again. I think you have a pretty accurate bullshit meter, Indy, so if you say he’s a good guy, that works for me.”

“And if Brad and Miles continue their…sexual activities while he’s here, that wouldn’t bother you either?” Noah asked.

The question was so unexpected that Charlie couldn’t keep his face straight as his insides clenched painfully. Fuck, even the thought of having to watch Brad with another guy… It had always bothered him on some level, but he hadn’t truly admitted it to himself until he’d moved in here with Brad, until they had spent so much time together. Until he’d fallen so hard and so deep he knew there would never be anyone else for him.

“Oh, Charlie,” Indy said, his voice soft and sad. “I’m so sorry. If I had known, I would’ve never asked Brad.”

Charlie raised his chin. He refused to feel shame about his feelings. Love was not something to be ashamed of, ever. “Brad doesn’t know, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t say anything to him.”

“Don’t you want to tell him?” Indy asked.

Charlie sighed. “Noah, you’re pretty good at reading people. Does Brad strike you as the type to be open to a declaration of love?”

Noah hesitated. “He’s hard to read,” he admitted. “I like him, and it’s clear he’s super smart, but he’s closed off. He’s hiding big parts of himself.”

God, you have no idea what Brad is hiding.“Exactly.”

“But he’s different to you, Charlie. He talks more with you than with anyone else, and he’s tender and sweet toward you,” Noah added.

“He feels responsible for me, always has.”

Indy quirked an eyebrow. “How long have you two known each other?”

“Five years. We met when I was in my senior year in high school. Brad was my math teacher,” he explained. “It was pretty clear that I was gay, and I was getting bullied for it. Brad stepped in when a couple of jocks were giving me a hard time, physically, I mean, then started sort-of mentoring me. He signed me up for jiujitsu lessons with his brother Blake, insisted that I’d learn to defend myself. He’s had my back ever since, and we became close friends once I graduated. But he sees me as someone he has to protect, that’s it.”

“I don’t think it’s quite that simple,” Noah said. “There’s a lot more to Brad than he shows, but you two need to figure that out yourselves.”

“Charlie, if you don’t want Miles here, we’ll find a different solution,” Indy said. “The last thing I want is for you to feel awkward, or hurt.”

“Or the fifth wheel in a house with two couples,” Charlie commented dryly.

Indy grinned. “Or that. I love your humor, by the way.”

“You should come see me when I perform as Lady Lucy,” Charlie said. “She’s way funnier than I am.”

“I’d love to. When are you going back to performing?”

Charlie’s face fell. “I don’t know. I’m… I don’t know.” How could he explain that he was scared to even leave the house, afraid Zack would be there?

Indy gave him an encouraging smile. “It’s okay. We’d love to come watch you when you’re ready to perform again.”

Charlie nodded, grateful that they weren’t giving him a hard time about it. “And I’m okay with Miles coming here, honestly. Right now, he makes Brad happy, and that’s all that matters to me.”

It was true, in a way. Brad loved pleasuring the FBI agent, so that part was true. It did make him happy, in as far as Brad could ever be truly happy. Charlie would just have to get over the fact that it was Miles who was on the receiving end of Charlie’s attention, and not him. Even after spending a month in a room together, Brad was still not touching him beyond those sweet, way too short kisses and a whole lot of cuddling.

Fuck my life.






Nora Phoenix

Nora Phoenix is a bestelling author of MM romance. She writes in various subgenres of gay romance, including contemporary, mpreg, and sci fi. Nora is known for a mix of steamy romance, usually a dash of kink, all the feels, and some suspense.

Proud single mom. Book addict. Eternal optimist. Unapologetic feminist. Ace. Panromantic.


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