Summary:
Some things you can’t take back.
If you say those words, get caught glancing at his bulge, or share a heated kiss, it’s game over. The “no take backs” rule strikes, and there’s no way you can backtrack.
That’s the way it’s always been with me and Nate Griffin, my old best friend who thought he could change the rules.
It doesn’t matter that time and distance have pulled us apart. I’ve finally figured myself out and yanked my head out of my backside. Now, if only I can drag myself out of the closet and be the man I want to be for Nate…
But I’m a pro basketball player who has no desire to be a poster boy. Not only that, Nate and I don’t even live in the same country.
Nate, big-hearted guy he is, takes it all in his stride, and I can’t help but wonder if just maybe he’s too good for me. But hell if I can resist him.
It all boils down to: Do I want to take anything back when it comes to Nate Griffin?
Some things you can’t just blurt out… right?
When you’ve shared a kiss with your best friend and it blows your mind—and other parts of your body—it’s inevitable that everything changes.
That’s the way it now is with me and Jayden Moore, my best friend who thought he could rock my world with no consequences, all while throwing me his signature grin.
But this is Jayden we’re talking about. He gets himself into unexpected trouble no matter what, and when visiting Australia, I’m compelled to make sure he doesn’t get eaten by a croc or try to steal a kangaroo. Like the glutton for punishment I am, I follow him.
And that’s all great until my desperation and big mouth send our worlds spiraling. Apparently, we’re now officially a couple. And because of course it goes one step further, I’ve now got my very own fake fiancé.
Being in the media is one thing, but being inspiration for others creates a whole new set of guilt and problems. But we’ll tackle it together and find our way back to how things were.
And if that’s not possible, just maybe Jayden and I can find ourselves with a brand-new label. One that’s real, and one I don’t run from. That’s the thing with Jayden: he has a way to extract my secrets. Whether he’s prepared for them or not.
No Take Backs #1
Prologue
Nate Griffin
Age 17
Me: What did McCormack want?
For thirty long minutes, the buttwipe didn’t respond. I watched my mobile, willing him to answer. I would have hung around after school to find out for myself, but Dad would have gone off at me if I’d shown up late for my shift at our family farm store.
Ryan: Be there in 10!!!!
I sighed, frustrated I hadn’t a clue what was going on. When the head of PE had called Ryan out of our final lesson of the day, something was clearly up. The man hadn’t looked annoyed, which was something, but it was now after four in the afternoon, and Dad kept throwing me frustrated glances, since I’d screwed up pricing up some new stock twice.
But hell if I could concentrate.
Since the first day of high school, Ryan and I had been all but attached at the hip. He’d been new to town, a place my family had lived for three generations. As soon as I’d seen the gangly eleven-year-old, dressed in the usual daggy Queensland state school uniform, but noticeably not new with the loose stitching on his shirt and the scuffs on his pleather shoes, he’d captured my interest. And when some ninth graders tried to give him shit, his mouth shut them down pretty damn quick. I’d decided there and then, I wanted Ryan to be my friend.
But me waiting to find out what was going on pushed my neediness to a new level. We didn’t do anything separately, or near enough nothing. Seriously, we hollered conversations through the locked bathroom door to each other if one of us was taking a dump. Christ, I’d even joined the local under fourteens basketball team, which soon moved to the under eighteens, despite being so not interested in the sport, just because Ryan loved it and was crazy good at it.
Admittedly, Ryan had conned me when I was twelve, and I’d half-heartedly said I’d join. As soon as my words were out there, he’d grinned before shouting, “No take backs.”
And to this day, our “no take backs” rule stood firm. Neither of us was sure of the punishment involved should we defy our now five-year-old rule, but I had no desire to find out, not if it meant making Ryan unhappy.
So me not knowing what was going on with my best mate, and waiting for over an hour to find out, was a new level of torture.
When the bell on the door chimed, bringing with it a shimmer of winter warmth, I almost fell into a box of mousetraps in my rush to peer around the aisle.
“A minute longer and I thought Nate was going to have a meltdown or sprain his neck.” My dad’s tone held an edge of humor, and I caught his eye roll.
“Was not,” I grumbled.
Dad scoffed. “Whatever you say, kiddo. Go take ten, as I’m convinced you’re going to have an aneurism if you don’t speak to Ryan.”
Ryan’s grin stretched wide. “Cheers, Mr. G. After, I’ll make sure I help.”
Dad threw him a friendly wink before turning his attention to Mrs. Henderson, who was dithering over some plants in our gardening area.
I indicated toward the back room, and Ryan followed, grin still firmly fixed. I examined him closely as soon as we were in the large storage area. “What gives?” He was all but vibrating. The grin didn’t slip, and his eyes legit sparkled. Only twice had I seen him so excited.
One time was when he’d seen Lynn’s boobs, though admittedly, there’d been a wide-eyed hint of wonder there too. I’d given him a high five when he’d told me while I’d swallowed my nausea. The other was four years ago when his mum up and left and his gran moved in to look after him and his little sister, Amber. That time my celebration had been real. His mum was a waster, and while his gran was strict, she loved her grandkids.
“McCormack pulled me into a conference call with a bloke from the college basketball league in Ohio and Coach Milton from Luton Vale University.”
My heart slammed in my chest at the news. I knew what this meant, and while it was incredible, I struggled to catch my breath.
“I’ve been offered a full ride.” Excitement lifted every single word, his whole body shaking.
“Shit, man.” I shook my head, willed my smile to the surface, and swallowed the emotion clawing its way up my throat. I grasped him in a hug, squeezing hard and patting him on the back. “I’m so freakin’ proud of you.”
It was hard to get a basketball scholarship, and an Australian being able to score one, and in a division one school at that, was pretty much unheard of. Well, in our neck of the woods anyway.
I pulled out of Ryan’s grasp, carefully arranging my expression and willing it to be real. “Have you told your gran yet?”
“Nah, you’re the first.” His words had me puffing out my chest, filling me with pride and a buttload of feelings I had no right to be experiencing. “I couldn’t wait to tell you. Shit.” He laughed and held out his shaky hand. “I can’t stop shaking.”
I reached out and squeezed his arm. “You’re going to be amazing.” He would kick butt in the college league. Hell, he had the skills to go all the way and make a career out of it. This time, a real grin appeared. “This is what you’ve always dreamed of. The pros, man. Like… college basketball… this is huge.”
A flutter of happiness cut through my sullenness. It beat the misery back, reminding me my best friend was freakin’ awesome. “And it’s okay to leave at the end of the year, right? It doesn’t matter about their term times or anything?”
“It’s all worked out. I need to make sure I keep my grades up, but that’s what I’ve got you for.” He swung a muscular arm around me and hauled me into a headlock, going to town rubbing his knuckles against my head.
I laughed, trying to shove away from him. The guy was too bloody strong for his own good, gangly limbs and all. Managing to break away with a curse and a “Piss off, Broadwater, before I take you down,” I caught his gaze, and I begged my thoughts to not dip into territories of just how I’d like to take him down. It wasn’t too difficult, not when he shot me a huge grin, his cheeks red, and a legit sparkle in his eyes.
This guy here was my friend, and I was okay with that. I always would be. I loved the guy, and I knew he loved my skinny arse right back. Platonic or not, that was everything.
“You wanna come with me to tell Gran and Amber?”
My heart leapt, wanting to be with him every step of the way and share in his excitement. “Hell yes. Let me beg off from work.”
Once more, Ryan slung his arm over my shoulders, this time squeezing and not thinking he was a comedian. “How about I do the talking? Your dad won’t be able to refuse.”
I snorted, knowing he was absolutely right. When his muscles shifted a little, becoming taut, I angled to look at him.
Ryan’s smile slipped. “You’ll find a way to come and visit, though, right?”
The slamming of my heart against my rib cage was almost painful. I wanted to celebrate with him, see him rise and take the pro ball world by storm. “Hell yes. Me and you, Broadwater, always. There’s not a chance you’re getting rid of me that easily.”
“No take backs.” His grin was wide and so disarming, I returned it immediately.
“In that case”—I nudged him—“best make it a first-class ticket as soon as you’re rich and famous.”
“Is that right?”
“You better believe it, hotshot. Nothing but the best from you to me. Think of it as payback for putting up with your weirdness all these years. And hell, you know how many ankle sprains I’ve put up with, just because you wanted to play basketball?” I rolled my eyes, earning me a nudge.
We stepped out into the storefront, laughing and shoving at each other. “Don’t get me started on weirdness, Nate the Niplett.”
“I do not have a third nipple!” I cringed, not realizing just how loud I’d defended my birthmark.
Ryan snorted just as Dad called out, “Yes, just get out of here.”
“Ha!” Ryan glanced at me like he’d made that happen. “I don’t even need words. Just my godly presence is enough.”
“Godly, huh?” I rolled my eyes and puffed out my cheeks to stop the loud laughter threatening to spill. “And so it begins. I’m telling you now, Ryan, if you even think about getting a god complex and your ego grows to the size of Uluru, don’t think I won’t be the one to remind you exactly who you are. Remember, I know all of your weirdness.”
His grin was broad. “Sounds like a plan. You’ll be my very own Obsidian Blade. I’m feeling all kinds of special already.”
I smirked at him. “I’ll go all Skulduggery on your arse.”
“Valkyrie. She’s the only one who can wield the blade.”
“You’re such a dork.”
“Me?” His wide-eyed horror didn’t stick, not when his lips twitched. “I’m going to be the one playing pro ball one day. There’s nothing dorky about that.”
I tugged at his arm, as Dad was giving me “the look,” the one indicating we were loud and ridiculous, and we needed to make ourselves scarce. “Come on, Faceless One, you keep telling yourself that while we make a run for it before Dad changes his mind.”
Ryan’s hand shot up in the air, and he waved it high and long and ridiculously over the top, shouting, “Bye, Mr. G. Nate can’t come home tonight as I need help with my homework, so we’ll see you tomorrow.” He then snagged my arm, and we hightailed it out of the store, ignoring Dad’s grumbles and laughing like little kids.
No More Secrets #2
Prologue
Sutton
A Few Months Back
The flashes of the cameras were blinding. Add in the chorus of cheers and some chants, and the atmosphere was electric. I hugged my friend Ryan close, saying, “We’ve got you, man,” then moved on to embrace his boyfriend, Nate. Both were overwhelmed but clearly trying to keep themselves together and their reactions controlled.
With a quick glance at Jayden at my side, whose idea this cheerleading-slash-welcome party was, I had to hand it to the guy. He’d done the right thing. He tended to joke around and play up to the media—both on and off the basketball court—but he’d read this situation right.
Ryan coming out on his terms was a hell of a thing, and Jayden immediately dragging me on a plane from Minnesota to Vegas so that when Ryan returned from his break in Mexico, it would be to a support party was genius.
While Ryan would hate the media attention, there was no getting away from the stories that were already blowing up after he came out on Instagram. This way, Jayden had made sure our friends had support. Heck, Jayden had even got Ryan’s new coach and a bunch of his new teammates on board too.
Jayden was lapping this up, and I couldn’t fault him for it. He was good at this sort of thing—playing the media, helping to shape narratives. He played a part and put on an act, a cockier version of himself. It was his big personality that had swindled me into being his friend years back when we spent summers at basketball camp together. I’d known then that it was likely I could never be rid of the guy whose smile was contagious and whose hairbrained schemes were questionable.
Our Ryan loves Nate tees were probably one of those questionable touches, but the smiles they’d earned us from Nate and Ryan meant they were the right decision.
“You’re not expected to do anything. Maybe wave and invite us all in for a beer.”
Jayden’s words drew my attention to him as he spoke to Ryan. Grinning widely, Jayden looked so pleased with himself. I held back my smile, proud of him for trying his hardest to be the best friend possible. I understood his motivation. It wasn’t like I was any different, especially when it came to Jayden and making him happy.
“Really?” Ryan’s relief was palpable. “You know I’ve been on vacation and have no beer or food, right?”
I gave him a chin lift. “All taken care of.” It hadn’t taken much to sweet-talk my way into Ryan’s condo to take in the beer and enough snacks to feed a group of hungry basketball players.
In convoy, we headed off the small stage area that Jayden had arranged. That was the thing about my best friend: he tended to go over-the-top and all-out, especially when it impacted someone he cared about. I kept my expression light as we made our way to the building, Jayden before me. At this side of the media circus, we were closer to a cluster of reporters. I tried hard to keep my face neutral as questions were thrown out, most aiming to get a rise out of Ryan.
“What do you say to the fans who are saying they’ll no longer support a team with men that kiss?”
I locked my jaw despite my best intentions at hearing the absurdity of the question. Where did this guy get off asking something so asinine? My tight jaw threatened to pop when “Men kissing are sick” made its way through a small group of bigoted dickheads.
Jayden abruptly pausing almost had me running into him. He angled to look at the small group of idiots, and I winced and reached for him, hoping he didn’t do anything rash.
“The stupid fuckers,” Jayden sneered just as my hand latched on his forearm. It was his “I’ll fucking show them” that had me worried. His gaze snapped to mine, and I searched his expression, wondering what he was playing at.
My “What—” was cut off when Jayden cupped my cheek and leaned in, too fast for me to react beyond staring wide-eyed as his lips pressed against mine. I froze as our mouths touched, and then my brain blanked when he opened his mouth. My body reacted, my lips following his lead as he kissed me.
Heat and shock unfurled in my chest, and when his tongue touched mine, awareness zapped through me. And then he was pulling away, grinning, his smile so wide and satisfied that you’d have thought he’d won the playoffs.
He tossed me a careless wink, laughed, smacked my arm, and carried on walking, completely unaffected. Nate’s “Holy shit” got me following, but beyond putting one foot in front of the other, everything else faded away.
What the fuck had just happened? More to the point, why the hell did I want my friend to kiss me all over again?
It was that thought that plagued me throughout the impromptu party, just like it lived with me for the next few weeks. The whole time Jayden alternated between being proud to have flipped the haters off, helping take the heat off Ryan and Nate, and shrugging the whole thing off with a laugh while ribbing me about how hot a kisser he was.
There was no apology for putting me in the spotlight, regardless that I didn’t mind assisting. There was definitely no “sorry” for stepping out of bounds and planting one on me. And there sure as shit wasn’t any hint that his kiss had shaken something loose in him as it had me.
All it took was a joking moment for him to unravel our friendship. It took weeks of me shifting from confusion, anger, lust, and something so much more, the four cycling in a loop, for me to finally say enough. I’d slammed the brakes on our friendship, leaving Jayden perplexed. And the reason? Despite me talking a big game about friendship and honesty and how I was a man of integrity, I didn’t sit him down and tell him the truth.
What was the point? Sharing my truth would have meant I’d lose him anyway. At least this way, it was on my terms.
Becca Seymour is the #1 gay romance best seller of the True-Blue series, having sold more than seventy thousand copies of book one in the series so far. Known for “steamy and endearing” and “emotionally profound love stories” (InD'tale Magazine) her books have been nominated for multiple RONE Awards.
Becca lives and breathes all things book related. Usually with at least three books being read and two WiPs being written at the same time, Becca’s life is merrily hectic. She tends to do nothing by halves so happily seeks the craziness and busyness life offers.
Living on her small property in Queensland with her human family as well as her animal family of cows, chooks, and dogs, Becca appreciates the beauty of the world around her and is a believer that love truly is love.
NEWSLETTER / KOBO / BOOKBUB
No Take Backs #1
No More Secrets #2
Series
