This year was a little less trying than 2021 but my reading mojo was still lacking and I only read 111 books. So once again my Best of lists may be shorter but everything I read/listened to were so brilliant it was still a hard choice. So over the next two weeks I'll be featuring my Best Reads as well as Best ofs for my special day posts which are a combination of best reads and most viewed, I hope my Best of list helps you to find a new read, be it new-new or new-to-you or maybe it will help you to rediscover a forgotten favorite. Happy Reading and my heartfelt wish for everyone is that 2023 will be a year of recovery, growth, and in the world of reading a year of discovering a new favorite.
👀I try to keep the purchasing links as current as possible bu they've been known to change for dozens of reasons, in case any of those links no longer work be sure to check out the author's social media links for updated buying info.👀
Summary:
Harrisburg Railers #12
Family comes first in all things. Whatever the cost.
Ten had always heard the saying, “Out of the mouths of babes,” but he hadn’t expected it to hit home as it had. After a comment from their daughter, Ten and Jared ponder an addition to the family. Moving into the adoption process is nerve-wracking and riddled with anxiety—kind of the way the Railers have been playing as of late. Bringing two young men into their homes and hearts won’t be a smooth ride. But with patience, humor, and love, the bumpy road might just be a little easier to travel.
Expanding their small family was always in the cards, but no one could have foreseen the process clashing with the worst ever start to a Railers season. A string of losses, a vital player missing from the defense, a captain in the emergency room—and winning a single game seems impossible, let alone getting the team to the playoffs. Faced with hard decisions, Jared refuses to take his work home, but it’s difficult when your husband is at the leading edge of the losing streak. His focus fractures when one sibling they’re matched with is frustrated, angry, and has a healthy dose of mistrust.
Jared and Ten’s parenting skills are tested, but they’ll do anything to make a place in their home the perfect gift for two children lost in the system.
Gotta start by saying: YAHOO!!!! Another Railers holiday tale!!!!
The authors may have tagged this a Christmas Railers novella but it actually encompasses multiple holidays including Turkey Day and that is a holiday that is rarely touched on, or at least not nearly enough. That right there is worthy of 1 bookmark alone. Being Harrisburg is worthy of another. What gave it the other 3? Read on.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: love, love, LOVE men who care for kids! Seeing Ten and Jared's family grow is so heartwarming, watching them tackle fostering and adoption of older kids turned me into a big puddle of sappy goo. Now that's not to say this leg of the crowned Princes of Scott & Locey's hockey universe is cliche by using the term "sappy" oh no, no, no, no. Sure some moments may seem cliche but that doesn't make it bad. With so many health issues in our family, status quo or cliche, is often a welcomed treat so when I say "sappy" all I'm really saying is "can we bundle those boys in layers and layers of bubblewrap so harm never comes to them?"
Soren and Milo are amazing! Milo is the quintessentially adorably loveable little boy. Soren is the epitome of "give me your best shot and I'll tell you what for" chip on his shoulder older brother. Some might say Soren is a little brat but not me, what I see is a scared boy having to be older than his years to protect his little brother. He's thrown for a loop when he meets Ten and Jared and it raises his guard up even higher. Now I'm not going to say more because despite this being a holiday novella and Scott & Locey are always about the HEA, I don't want to spoil any of the journey the Madsen-Rowe household embarks on, just know that your heart will thank you for the experience. Seeing little, itty bitty Lottie walking and talking and being all kinds cute is plus.
How can I write a review for a Railers tale without mentioning one of the funniest scenes I've read in ANY story in a long time? Adler and Stan loudly discussing naughty Valentine gifts as Ten tries to shut them up as a reporter is only 10' away. How can that not leave you ROTFLYAO? Trust me, I'm glad I read this when I was at home and not in the waiting room at Mayo Clinic, they may just have had to call security because I would literally have been on the floor laughing hysterically. Thank you, ladies for including a convo that could only work with Adler and Stan.
The hockey universe consisting of Harrisburg, Owatonna, Arizona, & Boston Scott & Locey has created should be read in order, especially those involving Ten and Jared. Will you be lost if you read Perfect Gifts without having read any of the other universe? Probably not but there are other characters mentioned and seen who make a lasting impression if you know their individual stories as well. None of the stories will leave you sorry you picked them up. Just so much yumminess all over the place and I don't mean just the sexy times, but overall heartwarminess(yeah I know that's not a word but I think it sums it up pretty spot on).
Summary:
A tender and triumphant story of forbidden love in the aftermath of war
When Captain Ashleigh Arthur Dalton went to war in 1914, he never expected to fall in love. Yet over three long years at the front, his dashing batman, Private West, became his reason for fighting—and his reason for living.
But Ash’s war ends in catastrophe. Gravely wounded, he’s evacuated home to his family’s country house in Highcliffe. Bereft of West, angry and alone, Ash struggles to re-join the genteel world he no longer understands.
For Harry West, an ostler from London’s East End, it was love at first sight when he met kind and complex Captain Dalton. Harry doubts their friendship can survive in the class-bound world back home, but he knows he’ll never forget his captain.
When the guns finally fall silent, Harry finds himself adrift in London. Unemployed and desperate, he swallows his pride and travels to Highcliffe in search of work and the man he loves. Under the nose of Ash’s overbearing father, the men’s intense wartime friendship deepens into a passionate, forbidden love affair.
But breaching the barriers of class and sexuality is dangerous and enemies lurk in Highcliffe’s rose-scented shadows.
After giving their all for their country, Harry and Ash face a terrible choice—defy family, society and the law to love as their hearts demand, or say goodbye forever...
Original Review November 2022:
This is going to be a review snippet as I just finished The Last Kiss, I imagine I'll have a few things to add to my review in the days ahead, but it's important for me to get this posted today on Veteran's Day.The Last Kiss is heartbreaking but also heartwarming, from brothers-in-arms to friendship to lovers, Harry and Ash's journey will play havoc with your heart by twisting your emotions every which way. You definitely can't walk away without truly learning a much needed appreciation for what our past endured.
Now having said that, don't think The Last Kiss is the author's attempt at a history lesson, it is still an exceptional cast of characters(some you'll love, some you'll hate, some you'll want to completely enshrine in bubble wrap to protect them) in a well crafted, brilliantly detailed setting that lets the reader live the time and still enjoy the fiction.
Even if you are not much on historicals, I highly recommend Sally Malcolm's The Last Kiss. Not only will you have a glimpse into the past, enjoy an incredible tale of friendship and love, but also you just might learn something about yourself and what is truly important in life. Definitely not one to be missed.
Edited Comments:
It's been a whole day since I finished The Last Kiss and truth is, my original yesterday touched my thoughts pretty accurately. I guess the only thing I didn't take a minute to mention was how much I loved Olive Allen. A character ahead of her time and yet equally representative of more women than one thinks about in post-WW1 era. She wants more than her sex and social status deems acceptable. For different reasons but the same restraints plagued her as the era placed on men like Ash and Harry. Side characters such as Olive don't always come across as genuine but Sally Malcolm has brought to the story another layer of what the era held for so many beyond the main pairing. What I wouldn't give to see where these people were in a post-WW2 era, to see how they were able to move forward and carve out a life for themselves when society was in line to fight them all the way.
Again, I highly recommend The Last Kiss for anyone who loves a well written tale of drama, romance, friendship, and heart.
Summary:
Snowed Inn
What’s worse than being stranded at a mountain resort by an avalanche three days before Christmas? Being trapped with your teenage crush—who kissed you and ran away.
Reno Pierce spends all his time creating music in his studio, quite happily alone, but at the insistence of his rom-com-loving dad, he finds himself at a Colorado mountain resort speed dating event. His dad wants Reno to bring his ‘Mr. Right’ home for Christmas, but what he finds instead is his teenage crush. Twelve years ago, he’d been head-over-heels in love with his older brother’s best friend, Tate. His "straight" best friend. But everything changed one magical night, when Tate kissed him like his life depended on it—and then ran away.
Six months after a bad breakup, Tate Boylan is still feeling the damage done to his confidence. Thanks to his hopeless romantic sister, who booked him a quaint mountain cabin and insisted he ‘boost his morale’ with a night of speed dating at The Retreat, he’s feeling much better. Until he sits at a table across from his best friend’s younger brother. The one he’d fallen for as a teen, kissed at a party, and never saw again.
Now that an avalanche has cut the hotel off from the rest of the world, Tate might have a chance to prove to Reno that this time he won’t kiss and run.
Original Review December 2022:
Forced proximity and at Christmas to boot, what can I say? When done right it can bring a sense of realistic warmth to make your cold winter nights cozy. When done wrong it can be riddled with cliches that are a checklist of what not to do. LC Chase has gotten it right, and not just right, but brilliantly heart-stirringly right.
Brother's best friend, best friend's brother . . . however way you see it Reno and Tate shared a kiss that ended in one fleeing and leaving the other heartbroken and probably a bit jaded. I think one thing I loved was the brother knew but off page with Reno only learning of it now rather than then so we know there wasn't the big bro shakedown even though Tate said Riley(the brother) never thought he was good enough for Reno. Some don't like "off page" scenes but I enjoy them because it shows us that there is so much more to characters than what they decide to fill the author in on. And of course that also leaves room for more in the future if the characters decide to tell more😉. Breakfast Included is all about Reno and Tate.
Through some internal monologue we discover the past but the main story is the here and now. The chemistry that lead to that heartbreaking kiss is obviously still there but is it enough? I think we all know this will end in a HEA but to find the journey the men take you will have to read Breakfast Included yourself but trust me, you won't be sorry. There is humor, drama, romance, friendship, and of course heat, 5 elements that make Breakfast Included memorable and a joy to experience.
One One last series note: Snowed Inn is a multi-author series of standalones with the only real follow thru being the avalanche that traps the main characters at The Retreat. The entries can be read in any order although if I'm completely honest I'm glad I read RJ Scott's Stop the Wedding first simply because there are the occasional wedding(or non-wedding) comments, none of which really effect or play a role in any of the other entries but I was glad I knew what they meant having read Wedding first. But that's more a personal preference of mine than an actually need to know scenario. I still have a couple of entries to read but so far they are all topnotch.
Summary:
Nick & Carter Holiday #23
Monday, December 26, 1994
It's Boxing Day and Nick and Carter are flying on their customized 767, The Lumberjack 3, from Sydney to Pago Pago.
And, actually, when they get to their destination, it will be Sunday, the 25th of December—Christmas Day—again.
It's that whole International Date Line thing, doncha know.
Anyway, on this second Christmas Day of 1994, they're going to finally fulfill the dying wish of an old friend who once got them out of a big jam.
And, along the way, they'll make some new friends, uncover a hidden secret or two, and finally solve a thorny problem they've had for the last few years.
Join them, won't you, for all the fun of not just one Christmas Day, but two!
Welcome to a year of holidays with Nick Williams and Carter Jones!
This is the twenty-third in a series of short stories and novellas all centered around specific holidays.
Each story is a vignette that stands on its own and takes place from the 1920s to 2008.
Original Review December 2022:
Another holiday in the lives of Nick and Carter. Seeing the pair on Christmas, or rather two Christmases, is a pure delight. Emotionally charged due to personal nostalgia on the men's part as they prepare to say a final goodbye to an old acquaintance of yesteryear. Yet another snippet in the couples' journey making me want to get to know their entire journey even more. There is familiar names and new ones, through each we get to explore Nick and Carter's relationship even deeper. There is no doubt the pair love each other and have done so for decades. I love seeing them as mature adults reminding us that life, love, and learning never ends. One of these days I will go back and read about Nick and Carter's full journey but until then I continue to enjoy these beautiful holiday snippets.
Snowed Inn
An avalanche, a quaint Christmas inn, and an assignment to sit on an international thief until the cops can arrive. What could go wrong?
Felix can’t believe his luck when a perfect stranger offers him the use of a pre-paid cabin at a mountain inn. He’d planned to ignore Christmas this year, working through the holidays in his job as a nurse in a Denver maternity ward. After all, Christmas won’t be the same without his beloved mother, who recently passed. But the inn, decked out like a Hallmark movie set, is the perfect place to soothe his heart, rekindle his Christmas cheer, and maybe even find romance? When a gorgeous ex-Marine befriends him and sticks by his side through a whole day of Christmas activities, Felix thinks he’s found true love.
Riggs’s plans for a ski vacation are buried when an avalanche blocks off the mountain inn where he’s staying from the rest of the world. A midnight phone call enlists Rigg’s help watching a guy on the FBI’s Most Wanted list who is supposed to be staying at the inn. The FBI and the police can’t get through until the avalanche is cleared. Riggs steps up to do his duty one more time. But the man who is supposed to be The Falcon, an international thief, has one hell of a Clark Kent type alter ego, because he seems like the sweetest man Riggs has ever met. The more time they spend together, the more attracted Riggs becomes to him, and the more determined he is to make The Falcon reveal his true colors.
Will love prevail? Or will the law?
A Changeling Christmas is a mistaken identity, snowed in together, rom-com romance with all the Christmas feels.
Original Review December Book of the Month 2022:
Sometimes things are just too good to be true and that might just be what Felix is facing when a stranger offers him the use of his cabin. What makes it too good to be true is something you have to find out on your own but it's the perfect setup for Felix and Riggs, another stranger Felix meets who is determined to stay by Felix' side.
Secrets of different levels are embedded in layers throughout the story and when the men are faced to confront said secrets is it too late to find happiness? Perhaps. Are they too much for the pair to overcome or is it just a perfectly setup holiday tale by the Queen of Christmas? You know my answer to that one: you have to read for yourself to discover that part of of this holiday tale.
There is probably a little more mystery element in A Changeling Christmas compared to the other entries in the Snowed Inn series, although there are a couple I haven't read yet. Is mystery an overwhelming factor? No. Does it make the romance more drama-centric? Perhaps. Does the holiday spirit get lost in said drama and mystery? Not at all! Some might think it unplausible that Felix would blindly follow the stranger's wishes but there comes a time when we all just need a break from life and this is Felix's chance for a short break. Course, if he only knew what following the stranger's wishes would lead to he may have taken another option but then he may never have met Riggs. So once again fate seems to know exactly what it's doing😉
A Changeling Christmas is not a story to be missed. Eli Easton has once again brought the holiday magic to life that entertains from beginning to end.
One last series note: Snowed Inn is a multi-author series of standalones with the only real follow thru being the avalanche that traps the main characters at The Retreat. The entries can be read in any order although if I'm completely honest I'm glad I read RJ Scott's Stop the Wedding first simply because there are the occasional wedding(or non-wedding) comments, none of which really effect or play a role in any of the other entries but I was glad I knew what they meant having read Wedding first. But that's more a personal preference of mine than an actually need to know scenario. I still have a couple of entries to read but so far they are all topnotch.
Perfect Gifts by RJ Scott & VL Locey
“So, where do we think she got on the brother kick?” Jared asked as he stirred some of the honey that Adler’d brought us into his mug. Ad had taken up beekeeping. Why? Not a clue, but we all suspected that it was so he could brag about having a big stinger in the locker room. They’d found out Layton was allergic, so he watched the bees from a distance.
“Probably at the indoor playground over in Camp Hill earlier,” I said while dunking a Stella D’oro cookie into my tea. I’d have a few. Cookies were not recommended by the Railers nutritionist as healthy afternoon snacks. “She was playing with Michelle Khan.”
“Oh, yes, Mrs. Khan just had a baby,” Jared replied, then added one more dollop of honey to his mug. “A little boy.”
“Yep. She was cooing and cuddling the baby until we left. She even skipped the jungle gym and slide to tickle tiny Joey’s chin.”
Jared’s eyes flared. Lottie never passed the jungle gym and slide. Ever. I’d had to climb in a time or two to extract her when it was time to go. Jared—the old D-man that he was—was too burly to fit. The parents who had gotten to witness a hockey player trying to wedge his shoulders into a skinny tube with monkeys painted on the sides had found it pretty amusing. As had the local press the following day. Nothing says professionalism after just signing a new multi-million dollar contract like being photographed wriggling through the monkey tumble tube.
“That explains it,” he commented as he began thumbing languidly through his daily read of The Patriot News online. The man looked sexy AF in those reading glasses.
“Yeah, I guess.” I nibbled on my cookie, my phone showing a half-read article in The Athletic waiting for me to return to it. “You know we could consider it.” That brought his gaze up from the local news. He studied me over the top of his DILF glasses. “What? It’s not as if we haven’t discussed having another baby. It was kind of always our plan.”
“Well… yes, I know we’ve discussed it.” He removed his glasses, folded them, and laid them by the cookie box. He assessed me intently. “Do you think it’s something we should look at more closely?”
“Maybe?” I reached for another cookie, my sight darting from the cookie to Jared to the window where the glass was coated with a touch of frost around the edges. Fall was here, and it was glorious. We had pumpkins to carve, cider to drink, and Halloween costumes to decide on before the end of the month rolled around. “I mean she is here alone all the time.”
“She’s not alone. She has us, a nanny, and now, a dog.”
“Well yeah, I don’t mean like we Kevin McAllister her or anything, it’s just…” I plucked the cookie from its wrap, then dunked it quickly into my tea, hurrying to get the shortbread treat to my mouth. I chewed, then swallowed. Jared sat across from me waiting patiently for me to make my point. “Okay, so, and never tell them—especially Brady—but having siblings to grow up with was pretty nice. Most of the time.”
The Last Kiss by Sally Malcolm
CHAPTER ONE
12th October 1917, Flanders, Belgium
Ash’s fingers had grown stiff and cold around the pen. He’d lost track of how long he’d been sitting there, staring at the blank sheet of paper before him, watching it waver in the flinching candlelight. Above him, the guns thundered on, spitting their full-throated hatred at the enemy.
There were, perhaps, two hours until dawn.
Dislodged by the bombardment, dirt sifted down onto his makeshift desk — something West had cobbled together to allow him to take a stab at writing the letter before the next push. If only the words would come.
The gas curtain across the doorway stirred and Ash looked up as footsteps clumped down the wooden stairs. They weren’t very deep here; firing line dugouts never were. He was lucky to have this modicum of privacy and didn’t object to the intrusion. Welcomed it, in fact, because he recognised that steady tread and the broad figure that accompanied it: Private West, his batman. And friend, though propriety kept them from admitting as much.
“Thought you’d be sleeping, Captain.”
Ash smiled. “You thought no such thing.”
“Hoped then.” West had to stoop beneath the corrugated iron ceiling; he was a fine figure of a man, taller and broader than Ash. He set a mug of tea on the desk. “Made you a cuppa, sir.”
“I won’t ask by what miracle you managed that.” Laying down his pen, Ash wrapped his cold fingers around the enamel mug and inhaled the steam. Not much like the tea his mother would serve at Highcliffe House, but a bloody luxury in the firing line. He lifted it to his lips and took a sip. “I hope you made one for yourself, West.”
An equivocal wave of one hand — no, then. “Did you get any sleep, sir?”
“With this racket going on?”
“You need your rest. Busy morning ahead.”
Yes, busy was one word for it. Ash’s guts went watery in anticipation of what was to come. “I have to write this blasted letter to Tilney’s mother first. She deserves — ” He put down his mug with a thump, sloshing the tea, embarrassed that his hand had started shaking. Again.
Thing was, he couldn’t stop thinking about Jimmy Tilney.
The lad had bought it a week ago, during a night time reconnaissance patrol. Under fire, Tilney had fallen into a flooded shell hole and, despite their frantic efforts to reach him, he’d drowned in the mud. Over the years, Ash had grown numb to death, but that desperate drowning haunted him day and night. Tilney had been barely more than a boy and one of Ash’s men. He should have been able to save him.
West squeezed his shoulder, making Ash jump. He hadn’t noticed West move around behind the desk, and that wasn’t the first time he’d lost track of things in the last few days. Thoughts of Tilney kept intruding and distracting him. “We did what we could for him, sir,” West said. “Nothing more we could have done. Not with those sodding machine guns at work.”
The weight of his hand was a warm comfort and Ash leaned into his touch. He needed to write this bloody letter and put an end to the matter. “I don’t know where to start, is the thing. I’ve got no comfort to offer his poor mother.”
“Then tell her the truth.”
“The truth?” Startled, he looked up into West’s grim face. His eyes, a warm hazel in daylight, gleamed darkly in the guttering candlelight and his sunny blond curls were dulled to tarnished gold. But for all that, he was a beautiful man. Beautiful to Ash, at any rate.
“Tell her Jimmy was a fine lad. Tell her he made his friends laugh and the local girls swoon, and that we enjoyed listening to him playing that sodding penny whistle. Tell her he served his king and country with honour and that he died bravely.”
“He died crying for his mother.”
West squeezed his shoulder again. “Spare her that, sir. But the rest is true — or, true enough.”
“True enough. Perhaps, if the people at home knew the real truth, they’d find a way to end this...this bloody farrago of a war.”
“She’s his mother, sir.”
“I know. But it feels like lying. I don’t want to lie anymore, West. Bad enough that I’m the one who...who...” Suddenly, he could taste the metallic tang of the whistle in his mouth. Hear its sharp screech in his ears.
Over we go boys. Good luck!
“Drink your tea, sir. And write your letter — you won’t rest till it’s done. Then maybe we could read for a spell, until... Until it’s time. We left Watson at a dramatic moment yesterday.”
Despite everything, Ash found a smile. West had the astonishing ability to cheer him even in the bleakest of circumstances. “Yes. Let’s do that.”
He picked up his pen and began to write, plucking out as much truth as he could find and offering what small comfort was possible. God knew it wasn’t much. After all this time, it should have become easier and yet each letter was harder than the last. They all felt like lies.
When the job was done, he took his tea over to the narrow pallet on which he’d failed to find any rest. West joined him there and they sat shoulder-to-shoulder, backs against the sandbags, with the candle set on an overturned crate at West’s side. From his breast pocket, West pulled out Ash’s copy of The Hound of the Baskervilles and opened it to the right page. Ash sipped his tea and then offered the mug to West. “Go on,” he said when West declined, “I know you’ve had none yourself. We’ll share it. I’ll read first, then we’ll swap.”
And so he began. “Chapter Twelve: Death on the Moor. ‘For a moment or two I sat breathless, hardly able to believe my ears. Then my senses and my voice came back to me, while a crushing weight of responsibility seemed in an instant to be lifted from my soul. That cold, incisive, ironical voice could belong to but one man in all the world... ‘Holmes!’ I cried — ‘Holmes!’”
He read on until West nudged the mug against his hand and they swapped again, Harry reading while Ash finished the tea. Overhead the guns continued to smash the German lines — such was the plan, at least — and despite the noise, with West’s warm body next to him, Ash’s exhaustion finally began to overwhelm him. Setting the empty mug aside, he let his head sink onto West’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He didn’t move when he felt West’s cheek come to rest against the top of his head, but smiled as he listened to him read until the words blurred and slurred...
“Captain Dalton.” He was woken by West’s hand on his arm, a gentle shake. “Sorry, sir, but it’s time.”
West sat next to him still, but the book was put away and Ash could see first light creeping around the edges of the gas curtain. His stomach clenched, his heart racing sharply. Morning had arrived, cold and cruel.
West’s hand tightened on his arm. “We’ll have to finish that chapter later, sir.”
Later. It felt as longed for and unreachable as home.
“I’m afraid I dropped off. We might have to repeat some of it.” Their gazes tangled and locked, too raw for bravado now. Ash’s faux bonhomie fell away. “Good luck today, West.”
West’s throat moved as he swallowed. “You too, Captain.”
Above them, the barrage continued unrelenting, their guns firing five miles west, towards the village they were attempting to take. Had been attempting to take since July. What the hell could be left of it now?
“It’s six-thirty, sir.”
Less than an hour to go. It was past time he was outside with the men. Ash rose and West helped him on with his trench coat, buttoning it like a London valet before handing him his tin hat. Another pause followed. Then Ash said, “I don’t want to…to let the men down today.”
“You, Captain? Not a chance.” West squeezed his shoulder. “We’ll get through it, don’t you worry. We’ll get through it together.”
How to explain that it wasn’t for himself that he worried, that there was something he feared more than his own death? Impossible, of course. The best he could do was grip West’s forearm. “Together.”
There was no more to be said. Ash led the way out into the miserable morning where his men watched him from drawn, frightened faces. None of them had slept, counting down the hours until the attack, and he felt guiltily grateful for his short reprieve with West.
“Taff,” he greeted the dark-eyed Welshman sitting smoking on the fire step.
Taff’s fingers shook as he lifted the gasper to his lips. “Captain Dalton.” His guarded gaze moved to the dugout and back, aware as all the men were — as Ash was — of the unearned privileges his rank enjoyed. “Get some kip?”
When the job was done, he took his tea over to the narrow pallet on which he’d failed to find any rest. West joined him there and they sat shoulder-to-shoulder, backs against the sandbags, with the candle set on an overturned crate at West’s side. From his breast pocket, West pulled out Ash’s copy of The Hound of the Baskervilles and opened it to the right page. Ash sipped his tea and then offered the mug to West. “Go on,” he said when West declined, “I know you’ve had none yourself. We’ll share it. I’ll read first, then we’ll swap.”
And so he began. “Chapter Twelve: Death on the Moor. ‘For a moment or two I sat breathless, hardly able to believe my ears. Then my senses and my voice came back to me, while a crushing weight of responsibility seemed in an instant to be lifted from my soul. That cold, incisive, ironical voice could belong to but one man in all the world... ‘Holmes!’ I cried — ‘Holmes!’”
He read on until West nudged the mug against his hand and they swapped again, Harry reading while Ash finished the tea. Overhead the guns continued to smash the German lines — such was the plan, at least — and despite the noise, with West’s warm body next to him, Ash’s exhaustion finally began to overwhelm him. Setting the empty mug aside, he let his head sink onto West’s shoulder and closed his eyes. He didn’t move when he felt West’s cheek come to rest against the top of his head, but smiled as he listened to him read until the words blurred and slurred...
“Captain Dalton.” He was woken by West’s hand on his arm, a gentle shake. “Sorry, sir, but it’s time.”
West sat next to him still, but the book was put away and Ash could see first light creeping around the edges of the gas curtain. His stomach clenched, his heart racing sharply. Morning had arrived, cold and cruel.
West’s hand tightened on his arm. “We’ll have to finish that chapter later, sir.”
Later. It felt as longed for and unreachable as home.
“I’m afraid I dropped off. We might have to repeat some of it.” Their gazes tangled and locked, too raw for bravado now. Ash’s faux bonhomie fell away. “Good luck today, West.”
West’s throat moved as he swallowed. “You too, Captain.”
Above them, the barrage continued unrelenting, their guns firing five miles west, towards the village they were attempting to take. Had been attempting to take since July. What the hell could be left of it now?
“It’s six-thirty, sir.”
Less than an hour to go. It was past time he was outside with the men. Ash rose and West helped him on with his trench coat, buttoning it like a London valet before handing him his tin hat. Another pause followed. Then Ash said, “I don’t want to…to let the men down today.”
“You, Captain? Not a chance.” West squeezed his shoulder. “We’ll get through it, don’t you worry. We’ll get through it together.”
How to explain that it wasn’t for himself that he worried, that there was something he feared more than his own death? Impossible, of course. The best he could do was grip West’s forearm. “Together.”
There was no more to be said. Ash led the way out into the miserable morning where his men watched him from drawn, frightened faces. None of them had slept, counting down the hours until the attack, and he felt guiltily grateful for his short reprieve with West.
“Taff,” he greeted the dark-eyed Welshman sitting smoking on the fire step.
Taff’s fingers shook as he lifted the gasper to his lips. “Captain Dalton.” His guarded gaze moved to the dugout and back, aware as all the men were — as Ash was — of the unearned privileges his rank enjoyed. “Get some kip?”
“Hardly, with this racket.” Ash forced levity into his voice. “I dare say there’ll be post waiting when we get back to the relief trench. It feels like an age since you’ve had a letter. All of two days, I should think.”
Taff gave a reluctant smile. “My missus does like to write, sir.”
“And we all want to know what happened about…what was his name? Your neighbour’s story about the vicar and the missing pig.”
A flash of teeth. “Mrs. Evans. Terrible gossip, she is, sir. I don’t believe half of what she says.”
And so it went on, the excruciating duty of finding a word here and there for each of the men while they endured these last dreadful minutes of waiting, a grotesque noblesse oblige that Ash probably resented as much as his sullen, frightened men. His rank gave him no special insight when staring death in the eye and nobody knew that better than himself. But Little Bill looked rough, scared almost out of his wits, and Ash spared him a firm hand on the shoulder as he passed. “You’ll have a story to tell your sweetheart when you’re home, eh?” The boy nodded, eyes wide and glassy. Ash resisted the urge to hug him. Instead he had the rum passed around and let Little Bill drink liberally.
He checked his watch. Six forty-five. Half an hour to go.
His head felt woolly, blood pounding in his ears. Fear did that, he’d learned. Scattered your wits, broke your nerve. He looked up into the sky, fading remorselessly to grey, and made out the tangle of wire above them. A scrap of uniform fluttered there, dank in the dank morning. Some poor sod, dead. Him, maybe, in a matter of minutes.
Terror closed his throat, accelerated his racing heartbeat. He felt clammy and sick. God, he hoped he didn’t lose his nerve, not in front of the men. Men? Boys, some of them. Beautiful and full of life when they were laughing together behind the lines, kicking about a football or telling off-colour jokes. Grey-faced now, they looked even younger than their too-few years.
An odd thought struck him: at least Tilney had been spared this dreadful bloody wait. His drowning had been sudden, unanticipated. The thought almost made him laugh, but he swallowed the terrifying bubble of hysteria. Dangerous, that. Rum lingered in the back of his throat and his watery guts squirmed. If he survived this damned war, he’d never touch the stuff again.
Carefully, he set one foot on the ladder that would take him over. How far would he make it before he was cut down? Ten yards, a hundred? Would it be a shell or machine gun fire that did for him? If he made it to the German lines, maybe a bayonet to the belly. Or would he get stuck on the wire? His fingers, of their own accord, drummed out a tune on the ladder as if playing a mute piano.
If you want to find the private, I know where he is,
I know where he is, I know where he is.
If you want to find the private, I know where he is,
He’s hanging on the old barbed wire…
He felt for his whistle, secure on its leather lanyard. His mouth was dry. From along the line came a rumpus, someone shouting and quickly stifled. It took men like that sometimes, the long wait. It broke their nerve. And who could blame them? This was tortuous.
He checked his watch. Six fifty-nine.
Time was crawling, he’d never known it to move so slowly. And yet too fast. Their lives were measured in moments now. He cleared his throat. “Fifteen-minutes,” he told the men.
Behind him, feet shuffled as the men moved about, making whatever peace they could, bracing themselves to meet their fate. It would be easier to be one of them. The weight of giving the order, of leading men to their ends, felt heavy as iron.
A shoulder brushed his, solid and steady. He glanced sideways and found West watching him. In the growing daylight, he could see the warm hazel of his eyes and the curl of his golden hair beneath his tin hat. West’s friendship was everything to him here. He’d made the last three years bearable, even pleasurable at times. It wasn’t right, of course, for a man like Captain Ashleigh Arthur Dalton, son of Sir Arthur, to be friends with plain old Private Harry West. But friends they were, closer than brothers. How many nights had they spent in conversation or in reading aloud to each other, playing cards with the men or in Ash’s quarters? How many nights had they hunkered down side-by-side in the support trench, sharing warmth and the comfort of each other’s presence?
And if anything happened to West today, Ash didn’t know how he’d bear it.
Well, he couldn’t bear it. Simple as that.
He’d rather die himself than lose Harry West.
“I’ve still got your book in my bloody pocket,” West said quietly, smiling ruefully as he tapped his hip pocket. “Hope it doesn’t get too wet.”
Ash had to clear his throat before he said, “Sherlock Holmes?”
“Aye, sir. Should have left it in the dugout with the rest of your kit. Sorry.”
“Well.” Ash huffed an approximation of a laugh. “If we’re pinned down for any length of time, perhaps we’ll read the next chapter?”
West laughed at that. He had a deep, contagious chuckle. “Imagine that, sir. Fritz stumbling over us sitting there, reading a book, happy as can be.”
Ash snorted, his tension easing for a moment. And then rushing back in as a dozen horrible images unfolded in his mind, each more likely than the absurd one they’d painted. He checked his watch. “Ten minutes.”
West nudged his shoulder again. Not so much nudged as pressed their arms together. Ash returned the pressure, taking comfort from it. He hoped West did, too. “Mother said they’ve had a terrific crop of apples this year. I hope — ” He glanced at West. “When this is all over, I hope you’ll visit me at Highcliffe House. Our cook makes a marvellous apple crumble.”
A smile tugged West’s lips. “I’d like to see your stables, sir. And perhaps take a ride in that forest of yours.”
“The New Forest? Yes, it’s beautiful. Especially at this time of year — with the turning leaves, you know. The colours…” His throat tightened with a terrible yearning for the trees and heathland of his boyhood. “Christ, this was woodland once, West. And there’s not a single damn leaf to see for miles.”
“There will be again. One day.”
There was some comfort in that, he supposed. He flexed his fingers on the ladder, tapping out that little tune again.
If you want to find the private, I know where he is…
Time ticked on. “Five minutes, boys.”
“Captain Dalton?” West sounded different, low and urgent. He reached out and covered Ash’s hand where it rested on the ladder. “I want…” Their gaze locked and for a moment Ash saw in West’s eyes everything he couldn’t say, all the words neither of them could speak.
Ash turned his hand beneath West’s and wove their fingers together, squeezing hard. “Another chapter of Holmes later.” He made it a promise. “And a shot of whiskey at Toc H, if we’re lucky.”
After a lingering moment, West pulled his hand free. “Yes, sir.”
Ash checked the time. “Three minutes, boys.” His stomach pitched. “Affix bayonets.”
He managed his own, ruthlessly suppressing the tremors in his hands. Just as it clicked into place, the barrage stopped. The morning rang with sudden silence, Ash’s ears buzzing in the absence of noise. This was it then. “Two minutes,” he said quietly, heart pounding like a terrified rabbit’s. He had to swallow twice before he said, “First rank to the fire step.”
Behind him and at his side, his men lined up. Looking down the line, he could hardly bear to see their ashen faces, some fixed as granite, others mobile with fear, lips moving in silent prayer or other incantation. Ordinary men, ordinary boys staring death in the eye. God, but he ached with the pity of it all.
“One minute.” Thank God his voice didn’t shake. Eyes fixed on his watch, he lifted the whistle to his lips. It tasted chill and metallic, worse than the rum.
The minute hand ticked to 07:15.
From down the line came the first shrill blast, slicing through the deathly silence. Ash blew his own piercing whistle and began to climb. “Off we go, boys. Good luck!”
Hard on his heels, West growled, “And God help us all.”
Then no man’s land stretched out before them, a pockmarked hellscape of blasted trees and mud and death. Low cloud crouched above them, as heavy and bleak as the cratered ground beneath their feet. Ash’s mind turned sluggish with fear, focus narrowing only to the few yards around him, heart hammering loud in his ears. He knew only that he must advance and keep his men with him. “Stay in line!” he shouted, conscious of West’s steady presence at his left as they ran forward in a half-crouch, slip-sliding in the treacherous, drowning mud. Gunfire sounded to their right, but nothing close to them yet. Perhaps they’d be lucky. Perhaps this time the bombardment really had taken out the German guns. He kept going, leading his men on, deeper into the wasteland.
They’d covered almost a hundred yards before machineguns opened fire, raking across their line. Someone dragged Ash down into the mud: West, his hand fisted in Ash’s uniform.
“Find cover!” Ash yelled as his men fell and scattered.
And then the shells began, screaming overhead so close Ash could feel their scorching heat across his back. One hit behind them — almost in their trench — and the ground convulsed, raining mud and debris down over them. Laying prone, heart pounding hard against the earth, Ash prayed they wouldn’t be buried alive. Christ, any end but that.
Then West was tugging on his arm again, yelling something Ash couldn’t hear. Was he deaf? He scrambled to his feet. Smoke blew everywhere and he couldn’t see his men, but he sounded the whistle anyway to help them find their way to him as he staggered forward. Still advancing, as ordered.
They were under heavy fire now. So much for the bombardment knocking out the German guns. Another shell hit to their right, the concussion knocking Ash back to his knees and he went half-sliding over the lip of a flooded shell hole. Machine gun fire kept him down, arms over his head as bullets peppered the ground behind and before him.
West wasn’t holding his arm anymore. He couldn’t see him. Fuck.
“West?” He turned, squirming in the mud, and saw West on his hands and knees several yards back, shaking his head as if dazed. Ash’s heart seized. “West!” He couldn’t hear his own shout; the noise of the bombardment was ear-splitting. “West!”
He slithered backward, trying to find his feet. Through the blowing smoke, West kept appearing and then disappearing like a mirage. Or a ghost.
No. No, no, no. Not that. He wouldn’t lose him. He couldn’t.
Another smoky plume blew over them and away. West had struggled to his feet, still shaking his head. And in a single moment of clarity, as if the mists had parted, West lifted his head and their eyes met across the field of slaughter. Such a look! Relief, terror, desperation.
Love.
But then West’s eyes widened in horror. He flung his arm out, reaching for him, as the earth erupted beneath Ash’s feet.
For a second, he was airborne and the world fell silent. Then it rushed up to meet him, smashing the air from his lungs. Searing pain engulfed him. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see, couldn’t move. Oblivion.
When he came back to himself, he was sprawled on his back, cradled in West’s arms, looking up at his dear face. His first thought was relief. West was alive. He looked unhurt as he held Ash up out of the sucking mud, a filthy hand stroking the hair from his face. But his eyes were red-rimmed, his mud-splattered face ashen. “It’s alright, Captain. I’ve got you. Everything’s alright.”
It wasn’t. Something was very wrong.
Ash felt paper thin, cold and fading. It was an effort to keep his eyes open. He couldn’t feel his legs and didn’t dare look, gazed only into West’s desolate eyes. All he needed to know was written plainly there. He tried to lift a hand to touch West’s face, but even that was too much. His lips formed a word — West’s name — but no sound came.
He felt no pain, only grief to be leaving him.
All around them the shrieking riot of war continued, but between them fell a terrible silence. “Oh God.” West’s voice broke and he clutched Ash against the sodden kaki of his jacket. “God, please.”
Ash was sinking, grey crowding the edges of his vision, but he tried again to speak. He had to. “Harry…” The name whispered past his lips, just loud enough to make West look at him. Ash tried to smile, to convey in these last moments how West had been everything to him in this nightmare — his solace, his succour, his burgeoning joy.
“Captain.” Pale tracks cut through the dirt on West’s face, tears gathering at the corner of his mouth. “Ashleigh….” He leaned down and kissed his brow like a mother might kiss her child, a last kiss offered to the dying.
Then he shifted and Ash felt the unfamiliar pressure of lips against his own, tasted mud and blood and salt tears. A lover’s kiss at last, its sweet promise unfulfilled.
When Ash woke again it was in a clearing station and to raging agony.
But Harry West was gone, sent back up the line to hell.
Breakfast Included by LC Chase
Chapter One
Thursday, December 22
“Ugh, kill me now.”
Reno dropped his head into his hands when his tenth date of the night got up and moved to the next table. He drew in a deep breath, held it, and exhaled slowly on the off chance he could “Zen away” his frustration. Who knew four-minute speed dates could be so painfully long? Only halfway through the event, and he didn’t know if he could make it to the end.
“Go to The Rainbow Inn,” his dad had said. “Get out of your music studio and meet some men,” he’d said. “It’ll be good for you.”
Reno snorted. Right.
He really hadn’t had the time to spend driving all the way up to The Rainbow Inn—as it was known to the locals but was officially named The Retreat—for their gay speed-dating event, but his dad was set on him finding someone to share his life with. Before Christmas, which was all of three days away. He thought Reno spent too much time alone with his music and was constantly trying to set him up on blind dates.
Reno loved his dad. He couldn’t have asked for a better role model growing up, and his dad hadn’t batted an eyelash when Reno had come out. He’d just ruffled his hair, kissed the top of his head, and said, “I love you. Now, go set the table for dinner.”
So, for his dad’s sake, Reno said yes to a night of festive speed-dating. At least this way he didn’t have to spend half the night trying to come up with the politest way to cut a date short. A couple dozen four-minute dates with built-in endings he could handle much better.
And thank his gay stars for that.
His first date’s opening line was “I just want someone to have sex with while I look for my soul mate”. Insulting much? Reno had never used it before, but he was pretty sure that was what Grindr was for.
Things hadn’t improved a great deal from there.
Next up was a gorgeous young man—emphasis on young. He must have had some incredible fake ID because there was no way the kid was even old enough to drive, let alone attend a speed-dating event where the minimum age was midtwenties. He’d only been interested in finding a Sugar Daddy, it seemed. The moment Reno had said that wasn’t his scene, his “date” spent the remaining few minutes scanning the crowd for better prospects. Interesting thing Reno noticed: when the young man wasn’t all bright eyes and big smiles, he did look old enough to be there.
Following him was a very attractive man in a stylish suit that probably cost as much as Reno’s baby grand piano but whose personality was drier than the first Christmas turkey his dad had cooked after his parents divorced. All Reno could glean from the guy was that he worked at some legal firm in downtown Denver and was, of course, rich. Maybe this man was whom Reno’s last date was looking for.
There had been one interesting man. He was shorter than Reno by a good half foot, with curly dark hair, a closely trimmed beard, and kind brown eyes, who worked as an oceanographic cartographer. He’d been wearing an ugly green Christmas sweater depicting a naked muscular man with a Santa hat. A gift box hid his junk, and the saying read, “I have a big package for you.” Reno had laughed out loud. The ice breaker had been perfect, and he’d enjoyed their short conversation. Unfortunately, there had been zero spark. A romantic relationship wasn’t on the horizon for them, but Reno could see them becoming good friends.
Then there was the guy who looked down his nose at Reno with disdain after learning Reno was a musician. Funny how so many people assumed the “sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll” stereotype when he told them what his career was. Of course, his age and appearance leaned a little more toward rock ’n’ roll than classical composer. He didn’t have long hair or wear dark eyeliner; he didn’t have a ton of piercings and wasn’t covered in tattoos, though his fashion sense did tend toward denim, leather, and Doc Martens.
But the date that took the cake was the one that had just ended. The man hadn’t fully sat down before he started talking a mile a minute. His hair was dyed as black as night, and his complexion was so pale he could have passed for a vampire. His eyes were an unnatural shade of gold that could only be attained with colored contacts, and his veneers were so blindingly perfect Reno found he couldn’t look at them directly for more than a couple of seconds. Reno hadn’t said a single word as his vampire date barely took a breath—maybe he was a vampire!—as he regaled Reno with stories of his lavish jet-set lifestyle and all the countries he’d visited. The man had been trying way too hard to impress. Under all that costume and big talk and name-dropping, he was probably a great guy, if terribly insecure in himself to be putting on such a show.
Reno sighed and took a long draft of his microbrew. One thing about The Rainbow Inn, they always had the best local beer in Colorado. He rolled his shoulders back and mentally sang along with a jazzy Christmas song playing in the background while he psyched himself up to sit through another painful four minutes.
His next date, a tall, lean-muscled redhead, sat down, and the world tipped on its side. Or maybe it was just the ground shaking. Like when a semitruck and trailer rumbled past his house and the whole place shook.
Tate . . .
Reno’s breath caught in his throat.
It was Tate-fucking-Boylan. His eyes—a gold-specked green hazel that Reno had never forgotten—widened in surprise, and his mouth formed a soundless O. It had been over a decade since Reno had last seen Tate. Twelve years to be exact. Tate was his older brother Ricky’s best friend—the “straight” best friend who’d kissed Reno and then run away—but Reno would have recognized him anywhere. His heart raced and lurched to punch at his ribs as though it knew the heart beating just a few feet away was its other half.
“What are you even doing here?” Reno blurted.
Shit. Even he heard how breathy his voice sounded. Heat burned his cheeks, and he took a desperate gulp of his not-nearly-cold-enough-to-cool-him-down beer. How could he still react like he did as a teenager after all these years?
This was so not how Reno had pictured seeing Tate again. Not once in the thousands of reunions he’d imagined in his mind, year after year. He should be angry. Thought he would be. Wanted to be. He was due some righteous indignation for the way Tate had bolted on him. But at that moment, he felt like he’d finally reached an oasis after walking too many miles across a sweltering desert.
“Reno Pierce,” Tate replied with a note of awe in his voice, a voice that was deeper and huskier than Reno remembered. A shiver of excitement cascaded over his skin. “As I live and breathe.”
Dumbstruck and lovestruck. That’s what he was, and it was just as frustrating as it had been when he was a kid. When he’d followed Ricky and Tate around like a lost duckling that had imprinted on the wrong species and was never more than a foot off Tate’s heel. When he’d worshipped the ground Tate walked on, hung on his every word, and doodled their initials inside hearts in his schoolbooks. When he’d dreamed that Tate loved him as much as he loved Tate, and Tate would sweep him off his feet, and they’d live happily ever after. Just like in the movies.
But then Tate had broken his heart after one blissfully exquisite moment in time when their lips had touched and every single nerve in Reno’s body had lit on fire. Reno closed his eyes for a second, needing to push away old memories and regroup. He’d outgrown his Godzilla-sized Tate crush years ago. Or so he’d thought.
A round of gasps spread throughout the room like a wave.
“Well, this is different,” Tate said in a hushed amusement-infused voice. He sounded the same, but there was a lower resonance to his voice that came with age and experience.
Reno briefly wondered what Tate’s life had been like during their years apart before he opened his eyes to . . . total darkness? He blinked a few times, attempting to adjust to the lack of light, but there wasn’t anything to adjust to. Not even a sliver of light filtered below the doors to the main hallway.
Light from a cell phone flashlight punched a hole in the black, waved back and forth, and a few seconds later, Clark, their event host, shouted to be heard above the confused crowd. “Can everyone look this way, please?”
He clapped his hands, and once he had everyone’s attention, he set his phone down so the flashlight created a spotlight on him.
“Okay, I know that was a bit of a surprise, but I need you all to keep calm.”
Nothing in Clark’s voice gave Reno any cause for concern. Power outages in the mountains were a thing. Heck, he lived on a mountain, and it happened more often than he could count. “Honestly, this isn’t anything strange for an old hotel all the way out here in the mountains.”
“It isn’t?” someone a couple of tables over from Reno’s asked. Reno could just make out the speaker’s features—it was dry-personality guy in the expensive suit.
“Last year, we had the same thing one night. Turned out it was a blown fuse. And I believe up here, power lines go down all the time. Before you know it, the generator will kick in and—”
Reno shielded his eyes and blinked a few times. It took a few seconds to readjust to the sudden brightness. The overhead lights had been low to begin with, so the Christmas lights that ringed the room could take center stage and set the mood for the daters, but after the few minutes of complete darkness they may as well have been high-powered floodlights.
“See, just like that,” Clark said with a note of pride in his voice.
Reno’s vision cleared, and Tate was right there. In full living, breathing, technicolor-vision focus before him. He was even more gorgeous than Reno remembered, and Reno’s heart did that excited little fluttering thing it had done every time his teenage self had seen Tate. As though his heart didn’t understand the passage of time and he was still that clumsy kid tripping over feet he hadn’t yet grown into.
“This is wild, seeing you here,” Tate said once everyone settled back down.
His grin was conspiratorial, like he had a secret to share. Tantalizing lines bracketed his mouth. They didn’t quite form a dimple, but close enough that Reno wanted to slide his tongue along them. The kiss they’d shared once upon a time replayed in his mind again.
The best and worst moment of his life.
His greatest desire and biggest embarrassment.
He’d crushed so hard on Tate back then, but Ricky had taken his big brother role seriously and was protective of him—overly so. He’d noticed how Reno looked at Tate with hearts bulging out of his eyes like a cartoon character. He’d sat Reno down and explained that Tate was straight and to let it go. But Reno hadn’t believed him. He’d seen the way Tate looked at him when he didn’t think anyone was looking.
It had all come to a head the summer Ricky had thrown an “adios, high school” party before he left to play for an American Hockey League team out of state, and Tate left for university in California. Every time Reno scanned the crowd for Tate, he found Tate looking at him. Tate would only hold his gaze for a second and then turn away as though suddenly realizing he’d been caught staring. At some point during the party, Reno wandered off to the bathroom. When he’d opened the door to leave, Tate had been standing there, looking nervous but determined. He’d looked over both shoulders and then walked Reno back inside, closed the door, and after a long stare, leaned down and kissed him. Though it was Reno’s very first kiss, he’d thrown everything he had into it. He hadn’t done too bad either, he remembered proudly, if the hardness of Tate’s erection pressed against his thigh had been anything to go by. That single kiss had been the most amazing of his life. Even after all these years, no kiss had ever truly compared. There was always something missing.
The day after that life-altering kiss, Tate had ignored Reno. At first, Reno had chalked it up to Tate being majorly hungover. But then he’d taken off early for university, without saying goodbye, and Reno hadn’t heard a single word from him since. Ricky had told him to stop mooning and not to lose his heart to straight guys, but Ricky had never known about that kiss. He didn’t know his best friend wasn’t quite as straight as he’d thought.
“You left,” Reno said flatly. He winced internally at the pout in his voice. He wasn’t a heartbroken kid anymore, dammit. Apparently, all it took was five seconds in Tate’s presence to regress twelve years.
The spark in Tate’s gaze dimmed, but Reno refused to feel any guilt. He wasn’t responsible for Tate’s actions. Tate was the one who kissed and ran, after all.
Tate opened his mouth, but his reply was cut off by Clark, who’d called for a ten-minute break. Their four-minute date was over.
“I’ll be right back,” Tate said as he rose from the table. He raised the empty bottle in his hand to indicate he was going for a refill. “Can I get you anything?”
Reno shook his head and narrowed his eyes. Sure, he would be right back. Tate was running again.
Reno cursed himself for noticing how nicely Tate’s ass looked in his well-fit pants as he walked away, and retrieved his phone from his back jeans pocket to check the time. There was a text on the lock screen from his dad. He opened it with a smile that slipped as he sighed.
Dad: Hope you found your Mr. Right.
Dad: Call me in the morning with all the details.
All the details. Reno snorted. His dad was a hopeless romantic—especially around the holidays. Even after a messy divorce, he still believed in true love. Reno did too, but he wasn’t going to find it tonight.
Tate’s grin flashed in his mind.
Reno shook his head and tapped out a quick reply to his dad. He hit Send, but a “message failed” error popped up. Huh, no bars. He shrugged and pocketed his phone.
He should just head home now and be done with all of this. Except he didn’t want to leave just yet, not now that he’d reconnected with Tate. Even though he still harbored resentment at having been left behind, remnants of how he’d once felt for Tate—always felt for him—refused to fade.
Before Reno decided to stay or go, Tate reappeared. He stood by the table and fidgeted with the label on his beer bottle. Reno’s gaze dropped to his long, slender fingers, and the first note of desire played low in his belly.
“I went to university,” Tate said as if that answered why he’d taken off on Reno.
He stared at the table for a second as though he was gearing up for a spiel. But once again, Clark interrupted to announce the official end of the break and start of the second half of the evening’s dates.
“Wait for me after?”
The vulnerable note in Tate’s voice shifted something inside Reno’s chest, and he nodded. He didn’t want to give in so easy, but of course he would wait for Tate. Who was he fooling? If he really thought about it, he’d been waiting for Tate ever since he’d run off to university without so much as a “see ya”.
After Reno’s “date” with Tate, he couldn’t stop thinking about him and couldn’t for the life of him remember a single guy who’d sat across from him for the rest of the night. If he’d thought the four-minute dates before Tate had dragged on, after the break, they were excruciating. Every minute until he could talk to Tate again felt like an eternity.
When the last date finally ended, Clark called for everyone’s attention again. He quickly reminded them about filling out their match cards and how he would be contacting everyone who’d made mutual matches so they could connect on their own later. Then, oddly, he asked everyone to remain in the event room until further notice. A frisson of confusion ran through the crowd. Reno glanced at his watch. Whatever it was, he hoped it didn’t take too long. He’d have to get back on the road for home soon. It was already a late night, as it was.
He flipped his match card over on the table and checked only one box—the one beside Tate’s name. He handed his card off to the bartender since Clark had left the room again and sat on a barstool. He ordered a virgin tequila sunrise since he didn’t want to be buzzed while driving the winding mountain roads home from the hotel. There was always the option of booking a room for the night—which was another reason The Retreat’s speed-dating events were such a big draw—but he’d rather sleep in his own bed.
A waft of spice and bergamot teased Reno’s senses and announced Tate’s arrival as he sat on the stool next to him. From this point on, he knew he’d always associate those scents with Tate. His childhood crush ordered another beer before turning to face Reno.
“I thought you stayed in California.” Reno picked up their conversation as if there hadn’t been an hour break in between. “After university.”
Tate shook his head. “Only for the summer after graduation. I live in Boulder now. I, uh, work at NCAR.”
“You what?” Reno rocked back on his stool. He’d known Tate was into climate science, but figured he’d end up working at a research center in California. “For how long?”
“Six years.”
Reno snapped his mouth shut while his mind tripped over itself in search of words that made sense. Reno lived in Boulder. Well . . . he lived up the mountain in Nederland, but he was down in Boulder often. Tate had been living so close all these years, and Reno had had no idea.
Not once had Ricky mentioned that to him, and they talked on the phone as often as Ricky’s hockey schedule allowed after he’d been drafted to play for Vancouver’s NHL team. Had Ricky kept that from him deliberately? Reno was a grown-ass adult and didn’t need his big brother to look out for him anymore. He could make his own mistakes quite nicely, thank you very much. Not to mention, Tate was obviously not straight.
No, Ricky wouldn’t do that. More than likely, Ricky had just forgotten about Reno’s crush and Tate just never came up in conversation anymore. That and Reno never asked either, so he couldn’t lay it all on his brother.
“Does Ricky know?” Reno asked. He avoided eye contact by swirling the straw in his glass, blending the grenadine into the orange juice until the whole concoction was a deep orange-maroon color.
“That I moved back home? Yes.”
“No, I mean, that you’re gay.”
“What makes you think I’m gay?” Tate challenged, but there was a teasing note in his voice.
Reno turned a glare on him. His tone was sarcastic when he said, “Oh, I don’t know. Kissing other men? Attending gay speed-dating events?” He shrugged. “Just a guess.”
Tate’s grin morphed into a brilliant smile that sent another flurry of flutters in Reno’s chest. “I’m bisexual if you need a label. And yes, Ricky knows.”
Ricky knew? Reno looked away again, fighting down a flare of unexpected hurt. “He never told me.”
“Ricky and I don’t travel the same circles anymore, and with him in the NHL and always on the road, we don’t get to catch up very often,” Tate said with a touch of regret in his voice. “And even though I was his best friend, he didn’t think I was good enough for you.”
Reno swung his head around. “Are you kidding me?”
Tate’s shoulders lifted and dropped. “I’m out now, but I was in the closet for a long time. It wouldn’t have been fair to you, and we both knew it.”
“Neither of you had the right to decide what was or wasn’t right for me.”
Tate studied him for a long minute and then said softly, “No, you’re right.”
Reno fell silent. As revelations went Tate’s weren’t all that earth-shattering, but to know he’d been living so close all these years and their paths had never crossed . . . What did he say to that? Were they not ever meant to be? He sighed and looked away, but Tate kicked at the leg of his chair to get his attention. When he met Tate’s gaze, his big easy smile lit up his eyes.
“We’re here now,” Tate said. “Tell me about you. I haven’t seen you gracing the cover of the Rolling Stone yet.”
Reno laughed and fidgeted with his straw again. “I was never going to be a rock star. Fame wasn’t what I was after.”
“No? What was it, then?”
“A compulsion to create emotion through sound.” Reno snapped his mouth shut. He had not meant to say that out loud. Now Tate would know that he hadn’t been just a geeky band kid; he was an adult band geek. Sure, his whole life revolved around music, but he was highly successful at it, and he did it without being on the paparazzi’s radar. Which was exactly how he wanted it. “I mean, I compose.”
“Compose? Like for orchestras?” Tate sounded genuinely interested.
Reno nodded as he warmed up to his favorite subject. “I’ve composed some symphonies for the Denver Symphony Orchestra and a few others, but these days I mostly compose film scores.”
“No way!” Tate leaned forward on his stool, obliviously sending another wave of his distracting spicy scent Reno’s way. “Which movies?”
Reno took a sip of his drink. “You know the new action flick with Chris Hemsworth?”
“No!”
“Yes.” Reno couldn’t help grinning back at Tate, who looked like a kid that had just been set loose in a candy store.
“He’s hot,” Tate said with a dreamy note to his voice as a smile tugged his mouth sideways.
Reno laughed and clinked his glass to Tate’s bottle. “Cheers to that.”
Surprisingly, the conversation flowed easier than Reno would have thought after all their time apart, and he was glad his dad had talked him into coming up here tonight. Even the anger he’d harbored for so long after Tate ditched him faded into the ether. Perhaps this was the closure he’d needed to finally move on.
He sucked up the last drops of his mocktail and glanced at the clock behind the bar. It was getting late. He pushed his empty glass away.
“Another?” Tate asked as he flagged the bartender down.
“No, thanks.” Reno shook his head and, with a reluctance that surprised him, said, “I need to get on the road before it gets much later.”
“I’m afraid you might be out of luck there,” the bartender said. His name tag read Grady, and he wore a revealing black tank top that showed off the amazing tattoos on his forearms and biceps. “Rumor has it there was an avalanche earlier, and the road is blocked.”
“What?” Reno burst out at the same time as Tate, and for a split second, his thoughts wandered to how well their voices harmonized. They could make music together.
Reno snorted at his stupid thoughts. He and Tate would not be making music together. Of any kind.
Grady paused a second and then nodded as he grabbed Reno’s empty glass. He dropped it in a soap-water-filled bucket behind the bar. “That’s why we have to wait here for Bryan, the manager, to let us know what’s going on.”
Reno slumped back in his seat, dismayed. “But I can’t stay here tonight.”
“Uhm . . .” Tate shifted around to face Reno head-on. His expression was hopeful. “I have a cabin. You’re welcome to stay with me if you can’t get out.”
Reno’s brain screeched to a halt.
Spend the night with Tate? All alone in a snowed-in cabin up on a mountain? Sounded like the stuff of romance novels, and as much as the teenage Reno would have jumped for joy at the idea, the adult Reno knew that would be the worst of all the worst ideas. But also . . .
“You have a cabin?” Reno said instead. “That’s . . . a bit presumptuous, no?”
Chuckling, Tate held his hands up in surrender. “It’s a rental. Kaylie booked it for me.”
Reno opened his mouth and closed it. Twice. Reno had never spent much time with Tate’s older sister. She’d always seemed like a cool girl who had it all together and didn’t take any crap from anyone, and Reno had admired her for that from afar.
“I’m not sure what to say to that,” he finally replied.
He flagged Grady with the tattooed arms over and ordered another tequila sunrise. This time with the tequila since it didn’t seem like he’d be driving anywhere soon.
A point proven when Clark called for everyone’s attention a little after midnight. He introduced Bryan, The Retreat’s manager, and turned the floor over to the slim, dark-haired man in a rumpled suit who looked just as frazzled. In his white-knuckled grip was a clipboard.
“Thank you for waiting here,” Bryan began.
After a few murmurs from the crowd, he continued. “So, here’s the long and short of it. An avalanche has blocked the road about half a mile from the hotel—”
The crowd erupted into a frenzy of questions and complaints and ridiculous solutions like skiing or snowshoeing out—five miles, in the dark—or using sled dogs, of which there weren’t any. Even melting the snow to what . . . swim out? Reno shook his head. The only thing they could do was be patient and wait for the road to be cleared. Surely by morning, the road crews would have traffic moving again.
Bryan clapped his hands and brought the crowd’s attention back around.
“We think the best idea is for everyone to get at least some sleep, and we’ll regroup in the morning. We can double up in rooms with some careful organization, use rollaways, and luckily, we do have some empty rooms and some of the cabins.” He gestured to a tall, lean man with dark hair standing beside him. “Chet has some room assignments, so if you could come up one at a time.”
“So,” Tate said beside Reno. “Looks like you’re going to need somewhere to spend the night after all.”
Reno regarded him for a few seconds while his heart warred with his mind. He so badly wanted to say yes, but also, he had a feeling it would be a very bad idea.
“Or I could get my own room,” he countered.
“You heard the man.” Tate grinned that sexy grin of his again. “They’re pairing people up. Why not pair up with someone you know?”
Because I won’t be desperately fighting to keep my hands off anyone else.
But with his luck, he’d probably end up paired in a room with his overcompensating vampire date and be stuck listening to endless tales of his incredible life all night.
“Breakfast is included,” Tate sweetened his offer in a sing-song voice when Reno hadn’t replied.
Reno studied him. He didn’t look like a scientist, but then, Reno didn’t look like a classical composer either. Not that either of them had to adhere to any specific appearance for their chosen fields. The warm-toned white Christmas lights hanging over the bar spun gold threads through Tate’s full head of fiery-red hair. It was riding that fine line of needing to be cut or left alone to grow out, and the perfect length to twine his fingers through. Would Tate’s hair feel as soft against his skin as it looked? His gaze dropped to Tate’s full lips and smirking mouth, bracketed by those damn enticing grooves in his cheeks.
This was trouble, and he knew it. He didn’t do one-nighters. Not even with Tate Boylan, who had planned to hook up tonight, or he wouldn’t have booked a cabin. Reno had no intention of having his world rocked by Tate, which he knew it would, only to be left behind once again. But it would only be one night, right? Surely, he could be an adult and keep his wits about him. He could sleep on a couch or even the floor, and in the morning, the roads would be cleared, and he could hightail it home before he made a fool of himself.
Reno huffed. “Fine, you win.”
If Reno had thought Tate’s smile was blinding before, the one he graced Reno with this time might as well have been the sun.
Tate stood and gestured for Reno to follow him.
Such a bad idea . . .
Christmas Day, 1994 by Frank W Butterfield
Prologue
Good Morning Australia
Channel 10 Sydney
Monday, December 26, 1994
Kerri-Anne Kennerley (seated and leaning forward): Good morning, Australia! I'm Kerri-Anne Kennerley, sitting in this morning for our Bert Newton who's on holiday, enjoying the spectacular Gold Coast on this Boxing Day.
We begin today's show with a special interview. Nicholas Williams, the San Francisco-based owner of the Hopkins Hotel in Sydney, has spent the last ten days touring the country. This is his first time back to Australia since 1955 and our very own Charlene Thomas met with Mr. Williams at the Hopkins Bar to speak with him and get to know more about the very unusual owner of one of Sydney's most unusual hotels.
(cut from studio to a restaurant interior)
Charlene Thomas (holding a glass of red wine while seated at a bar): And what is this?
Nicholas Williams (seated next to her holding a matching glass): This is a 1990 Grant Burge Shiraz, a wine we both really enjoy. This is a grape that some of our winemakers in California are just now starting to cultivate. There, like in France, we call it Syrah. (he takes a sip).
Charlene Thomas: Yes, I've heard that. Are you a California wine connoisseur?
Nicholas Williams (chuckling): Not at all. I'm more of a beer drinker, myself. But, here at the Hopkins, we like to feature Australian food and wine. We try to do that in all our hotels.
Charlene Thomas: How many Hopkins hotels are there, now?
Nicholas Williams: This hotel was our fortieth when it opened in 1990. We're now up to forty-five. Our newest just opened in Singapore, which is where we were before we came here.
Charlene Thomas: And how do you like being back in Australia?
Nicholas Williams (smiling): We're glad to be back. It's been almost forty-six years since we skipped the country on an old Pan Am clipper that a friend of ours owned.
Charlene Thomas (nodding seriously): Now, from what I've been told, you were fleeing arrest.
Nicholas Williams: Yes. But the laws have changed—happily—and now we're back and happy to be here. Everyone has been very welcoming.
Charlene Thomas: Is it true that you spend your Christmas and New Year in the southern hemisphere every year?
Nicholas Williams: Yes. The first time we did that was in 1953 in Rio de Janeiro, in Brazil. Growing up in chilly San Francisco, it was nice to spend Christmas somewhere nice and warm. We've been to Brazil, Chile, New Zealand, and now we're here, in Sydney. (lifts his glass as if to toast).
Charlene Thomas: I'll drink to that. Cheers. (the two clink glasses)
Nicholas Williams: Cheers.
(cut from bar to a balcony)
Charlene Thomas: Now, this is a view that's worth waking up for. From here, I can see the harbor, along with the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House. I'm standing just outside the luxurious Royal Australian Suite, on the 29th floor of the Hopkins. Let's have a quick look at the rest of what this sumptuous accommodation offers.
(montage tour of rooms)
Nicholas Williams (standing next to a second man who's seated on a couch): What do you think?
Charlene Thomas: I think I'd enjoy calling this home for a couple of weeks.
Nicholas Williams: We really like what our décor team did here. The Hopkins idea is modern style with relaxing comfort. And I think this suite, along with every room in the hotel, reflects that.
Charlene Thomas: I agree.
(brief slideshow of other guest rooms, cutting to table by window)
Charlene Thomas: You've been quite busy in during the ten days you've been here.
Nicholas Williams: We've enjoyed every day of it.
Charlene Thomas: Let's see. (looks at notes). You've met with the Lord Mayor of the City of Sydney, Frank Sartor. You invited Prime Minister Paul Keating for dinner, here, at this very table. And I hear he was just as late for dinner as he is for cabinet meetings.
Nicholas Williams (chuckling): Yes, but his wife, Anitta, kept us entertained.
Charlene Thomas: You've seen an opera while in town.
Carter Jones: We were lucky enough to be invited to sit in on rehearsals for Tresno, which opens early next month.
Charlene Thomas: I understand you visited Alice Springs and climbed Ayers Rock, is that right?
Carter Jones (smiling): Yes.
Nicholas Williams: He did. Not me.
Charlene Thomas: I also heard you were the guests of honor at the Imperial Hotel on Erskineville Road last night.
Nicholas Williams: Yes.
Carter Jones: They treated us like royalty there. We had a great time.
Charlene Thomas: Now that we're almost there, what are your holiday plans?
Nicholas Williams: We'll be spending Christmas Day with some old friends, just north of Bondi Beach.
Charlene Thomas: That's where you stayed when you were last here, correct?
Nicholas Williams: Yes. That was during a big storm that nearly washed me right over the cliff and into the ocean.
Charlene Thomas: Goodness!
Nicholas Williams: Then, on the 26th—
Carter Jones: Boxing Day.
Nicholas Williams (nodding): We're leaving for Fiji and then on to Hawaii before heading home to San Francisco.
Charlene Thomas: Sounds like a wonderful way to spend the start of the new year.
(cut back to studio)
Kerri-Anne Kennerley (seated and leaning forward): Thank you, Charlene. Sounds like you had quite the interesting time at the Hopkins Sydney. In a moment, Sally Browne stops by to talk about her take on this summer's must-wear fashions for the beach as well as around town. You won't want to miss what she's got to say. But first—
(video ends)
A Changeling Christmas by Eli Easton
CHAPTER 1
Felix
Epic disaster: thy name is Felix Bordeaux.
My cheeks burned with humiliation, and disappointment churned in my gut. In fact, there was a whole host of miserable emotions littered around my feet like invisible crumpled-up Post-it notes. Maybe in a discount-bin shade of puke green.
I picked at the moist label on my beer bottle. The colored Christmas lights strung up over the bar danced along the brown glass and my hands. "I know what you'd say, Mom," I whispered. "It will happen when it's supposed to. But how can it ever happen when I'm a veritable black hole in any social setting? Horizon of Doom. That's me."
"Did you say something?"
I looked up to see a good-looking man standing near me at the bar. He was probably waiting to order a drink. I cringed. "Huh? No. I wasn't talking to you. Sorry."
I looked back at my beer bottle, turning it around and around. I'd had enough rejection for one night. I wasn't going to engage with anyone. Maybe ever! Yes, that was the only acceptable solution. I was never going to engage with anyone ever again. Except for my patients. But definitely not men. Or, at least, not men like that. No spank you. That was my Christmas promise to myself. Even if it only made me feel more miserable.
I waited for the guy standing at the bar to leave. But he didn't. I could still see him in my peripheral vision. Heck, I could feel him. He had an intense aura. I snuck another look. He was staring at me. Crap.
"I'd like to buy you a drink. Come sit at my table with me," he said.
"Me?" I looked around to make sure he was, in fact, talking to me.
"You." His voice was firm, and he didn't crack a smile. He had an air of authority like he was used to being obeyed. He turned and stalked away.
I hesitated. What did he want? He hadn't been eyeballing me that way. At least, I didn't think so. If this was a pickup, he needed to work on his game. Then again, tonight I'd sent the first two guys at Speed Dating fleeing for their lives before I'd slunk away in shame myself, so who was I to judge?
It was curiosity more than anything that made me pick up my beer bottle and follow him.
He took a seat at a small table for two. Awkwardly—because that's how I roll—I sat in the other chair. He proceeded to study me some more. I held my beer bottle and looked around to avoid his gaze.
The Retreat’s tavern was a warm space with rustic beams, dark wood tables and chairs, a pool table, and a big TV currently displaying a fireplace with holiday music. Christmas lights were strung everywhere, and there was a Christmas tree in the corner, all decked out with red bulbs and paper beer coaster ornaments. The place was nearly empty, but then, the speed-dating event was still going on. The one where I'd crashed and burned.
I snuck a look at the guy. Tallish, probably my height of six foot. Fit body. Dark hair worn to his shoulders and layered in an immaculate haircut. Piercing dark eyes. Huh. We looked sort of alike. Or, rather, he looked like me if I were a thousand times cooler and had my shit together so tightly it could have been Shapeweared.
I swallowed. "What?"
"I'm Alastor. And you are?" He finally cracked a smile. Maybe it was my imagination, but it was a little like seeing a shark smile.
"Um. Felix. Felix Bordeaux."
"Are you staying at the hotel, Felix?"
I shook my head. "I wish. No, I just drove up for the speed-dating thing, you know?"
"Isn't that going on right now?"
I felt heat on my cheeks again. "I, uh, left early."
He stared at me.
"It wasn't for me. I'm not good at meeting people." Understatement of the year. "I should have known better? I guess?" I huffed a bitter laugh. "In fact, the second guy I sat down with told me I needed a class in conversational skills." God, I could still see the sneer on his face. "The saddest thing is, he wasn't wrong. Only my friend, Dawn, she insisted I do it? She made me, actually. I had to drive up for the speed dating or she wouldn't let me take her shift on Christmas. So."
Alastor gave a slow blink. "She wouldn't let you take her shift on Christmas?"
I nodded. "I'm a nurse. I decided to work this year on Christmas Day so others could have it off. Like Dawn. This is my first Christmas since my mom died, see. And it couldn't really be Christmas without her. I figured I might as well work. Make up for all the years someone worked so I could have the holiday off. Not that there's been that many. I only graduated from nursing school a couple of years ago. But, hey, pay it forward. Right?"
I chuckled, but his face was utterly expressionless. I mentally kicked myself. I'd done it again. Mentioned my mom in the first sixty seconds. I was pretty sure that's where I'd lost the two guys I'd sat with in speed dating tonight. When would I learn?
I sighed. "Never mind. Thanks for the, um…." Oh, right. He hadn't actually bought me a drink. I stood up.
"Wait." Alastor grabbed my wrist. He managed to tug me back down into my seat while signaling for a waiter.
The waiter appeared out of thin air. "An Elijah Craig for my friend, Felix, here. Neat." He turned to me. "It's the best bourbon money can buy in Colorado."
"Oh. Uh. Thanks, but I have to drive home tonight. And I'm kind of a lightweight."
The waiter ignored me. "Right away, sir," he said to Alastor with the sort of deference I'd never received in my life. He scurried away.
"About that…." Alastor gave me another of those shark-y smiles. "I have a cabin here for three more nights, and it turns out I need to leave. Immediately." A flash of anger crossed his face. He downed his own glass in one long swig. He muttered something under his breath that sounded like "Lennox will pay for this."
"I'm sorry to hear that?" I said sympathetically, though I wondered where this was going.
Those dark eyes focused back on me. "The cabin's prepaid and nonrefundable. It's yours if you want it. Otherwise, it'll be wasted. Say yes, Felix. A wise man once told me—when opportunity crosses your path, grab it with both hands and hang on for the ride."
"I… really?"
"Yea, really," he said dryly.
I was about to say Oh, I couldn't, but I stopped myself. I'd driven up in time to have dinner here tonight, so I'd taken a little tour of the hotel and grounds. I'd been envious of the guests. How wonderful it would be to stay in a place like this for the holiday season. The Retreat was a gorgeous mountain lodge, and it was chock full of Christmas cheer with lush decorations and evergreen boughs against a backdrop of rustic buildings, stunning mountain views, and the snow…. It was like a movie set. How I'd wished I had the money, and the heart, to stay.
This was the first time I'd felt a hint of Christmas spirit all year. I'd ignored the approaching holiday because Mom was gone, and the thought of having it without her was too painful to bear. But being at the Retreat for a few days? That would be a dream. I counted in my head. It was the 22nd. I could stay three nights and drive back to Denver early to work the Christmas shift on the 25th. I wasn't scheduled until then.
It was as if it was fate—or a Christmas gift. I felt a swamping wave of gratitude. Is this your doing, Mom? Gosh, you're the best.
"I don't have the money to stay here," I said carefully. "So if you'd want to be reimbursed—"
"Free, Felix," Alastor said firmly. The waiter arrived with a dark drink in a short tumbler, just like the one Alastor had downed.
"Drink." Alastor pushed the glass toward me.
I hesitated. "I shouldn't."
"You won't need to drive tonight. Come on. Down the hatch, and then we'll go look at the cabin."
"I didn't bring anything with me."
Alastor gave me a judge-y look. "Opportunity is knocking, Felix. You drove here for a speed-dating event, so you took one chance tonight. Take this one. Drink."
He was so persuasive. I picked up the glass and sipped it. Gosh, it was strong. But there was a smooth heat to it that was nice. I started to put the glass down, but Alastor touched my hand and guided the glass back to my lips.
I drank, eyes on him. Was he coming on to me after all? Did he expect a quickie before he left? In exchange for the room? I'd come up here to meet a man, but this one looked too much like me to spark any desire. It was a little squicky, in fact. I didn't want to have sex with myself. I mean, I do have sex with myself. A lot. But I don't stare at myself in the mirror while doing it.
I finished the drink, and when I had control of my burning throat again, I blurted, "I'm not a narcissist!"
Alastor stood up and raised one eyebrow. "Good to know. I suppose one of us shouldn't be. Come on, Felix. Let's go."
My head spun as we left the hotel. I wasn't kidding when I'd said I was a lightweight. One beer, and I was super mellow. Two, and I'd be asleep within the hour. The bourbon, on top of the half beer I'd drunk, left me feeling like I was submerged in a warm pool of honey, and I couldn't stop smiling. If this cabin didn't work out, I'd be spending the night in my car.
The cold night air revived me a little as we walked out of the back of the hotel and crossed a service road. The cabins were clustered together among tall pine trees and oozed glamping charm. Their lights shone as if fairies danced with lanterns in the snow. Daw!
"They're so pretty," I said, my voice slurring a little.
Alastor grunted. "Mine is called Towering Redwood."
I snorted. "Is that a cabin or a medical condition? If it lasts for more than four hours, there's a number you could call." Gosh, I cracked myself up.
Alastor sighed. "This one."
He walked up to one of the cabins. And, yes, Towering Redwood was the name listed on a plaque at the door. Alastor unlocked it and switched on the light inside.
Dang, it was so cozy and charming and wonderful. Mom would love this so much. It looked like one of those Sundance catalogs. The main room had raw log walls and wooden beams. A comfy-looking sofa in gray with red plaid pillows and a sheepskin throw sat in the middle of the space. There was a bear rug in front of a fireplace—hopefully not made from real bear—and a horned chandelier. A narrow Christmas tree decorated with tiny white lights, white balls, and buffalo plaid ribbons added the perfect holiday touch. The kitchenette had pine cabinets and black appliances including —ohh!—a fancy coffee maker.
"The bedroom's this way." Alastor walked down a hallway.
I followed and peeked into a good-sized bedroom with a queen bed, red plaid flannel comforter and sheets, two rustic wood lamps, and a flat-screen TV on the log wall. White lights were strung around the log bedposts and made the whole room so romantic and homey.
"There's a full bath with shower and tub. Wine and snacks are in the kitchen. Oh, and there's a complimentary breakfast buffet at the lodge. Just show the room key." Alastor grabbed a black backpack from the closet and tossed it on the bed.
"Uh… Are you sure about this? I can really stay here for three nights?"
Alastor spun to me and grabbed my face with both hands. I gave an undignified little cry. His intelligent dark brown eyes stared into mine. Wow. We were exactly the same height. He looked annoyed. "Listen to me, Felix. Are you listening?"
"Mm? Your breath smells like cinnamon rolls. Is that the bourbon? Does my breath smell like cinnamon rolls?"
"Felix. I'm in a hurry. Got it?"
His tone was stern, so I nodded mutely.
"This cabin is yours, all expenses paid, for three nights. I only ask one thing in return. Are you listening?"
"Sure." I tried to smile, but he was smooshing my face.
"If anyone asks, you're me, Alastor Jeddard. Repeat it."
I frowned. "I don't lie. Mom always said lying was way more trouble in the long run."
Alastor's jaw ticked like he was grinding his teeth. "It's not lying. It's just… the place where I reserved it, it was a, uh, a special price and nontransferable. So if the hotel staff, or security, or anyone else asks, just say my name."
I still didn't like the sound of it. "But if they find out I'm not you, will I get in trouble? Will I have to pay? I can't afford this."
His jaw clenched again. "No, they don't actually care, Felix. They're just ticking a box. It's purely procedural. Say my name, and you'll be fine." He smiled and his tone softened. "It would be a favor to me. After all, the value of this cabin is over eight hundred dollars. You'd like to do me a favor just like I'm doing you one. Wouldn't you?"
"You should do nice things for other people whenever you have the chance. Put goodness out there, and it'll return to you. That was my mom's philosophy." Dang. Now I was serial quoting Mom. It had to be the bourbon.
Alastor blinked and nodded, his smile tightening ever so slightly. "Yes. That's right. Smart lady."
"She was."
"And you look like the sort of man who could use a vacation from being himself."
I frowned. "What do you mean by that?"
"I mean, grab life, Felix. Escape from the same-old-same-old. Live a fantasy for a few days. Be me. What's the harm in that?"
What was the harm in that? Wasn't I just thinking what a disaster I was? Maybe I did need a break from myself. And being Alastor… it wasn't possible I could ever be that sure of myself, but it might be fun to pretend.
"So we have a deal, don't we, Felix?"
I thought about how nice this cabin was. And all the activities I'd get to participate in. And how it would actually make this year feel like Christmas after all. And maybe I'd meet a guy, if I was here for three nights. And what if Mom, now an angel in heaven, had nudged this opportunity my way. Who was I to refuse?
"Deal," I said.
Alastor let go of my face and gave a little sigh of relief. "Good. Now I have to go. Enjoy the cabin and don't forget our agreement."
Alastor grabbed his backpack from the bed. I watched him stuff things into it—mobile phone, a wallet, a small laptop, a few things from the bathroom. He bypassed the open closet, which was full of nice clothes. I followed him out to the main room where he put on a sleek black ski jacket that probably cost more than I made in a month. He attached a fancy pair of black leather dress boots to the bungee cords on his backpack and put on a different black pair of shiny ski boots.
He straightened up. "Well, that's it."
"What about your clothes?"
"I'm only taking the necessities. Do what you like with the rest."
Wow. That didn't sound right. "I can ship your things to you if you give me an address."
His eyes flashed something dangerous. "No! No address. That is, I'm not sure where I'm going next. Keep the stuff, toss it, or leave it here. I don't care."
He opened the door, letting in a cold blast of air. I followed him onto the porch where he grabbed the skis next to the door, carried them to a patch of snow in front of the cabin, and dropped them.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"What does it look like?"
"You're skiing? Now? At night?"
"There's a full moon. It's perfect skiing conditions."
He was right. The moon was full in the sky and the night was clear and cold. "Yeah, but… I thought you were leaving."
"So I am. Goodbye, Felix. And good luck."
He did some fancy maneuver where he planted one ski and one pole, turned, and he was off like a shot, looking like he'd been born on skis. Like he was the Aquaman of snow.
Was there a superhero who was, like, the master of snow? Snowman? No, that didn't sound right. There was no snow superhero. Missed opportunity there.
I watched as Alastor jumped a snowless patch of trail, swooshed between two cabins, and was gone.
"Thank you! And… make good choices!" I called after him, waving even though he couldn't see me.
Dang, he was skiing out? Guess that's why he couldn't take his luggage. What a weird thing to do. Why hadn't he just called an Uber if he didn't have a car?
Maybe he was a skiing fiend. Maybe there was a beautiful course between here and Chester Lake, the nearest town, and he just wanted to get in one more ski before going back to work. People could be passionate about that sort of thing.
I sighed. Why couldn't I be all cool and sporty like that? Devil-may-care? Sophisticated?
I laughed. "In my dreams. Huh, Mom?"
Still smiling, I went back into the cabin.
Writing love stories with a happy ever after – cowboys, heroes, family, hockey, single dads, bodyguards
USA Today bestselling author RJ Scott has written over one hundred romance books. Emotional stories of complicated characters, cowboys, single dads, hockey players, millionaires, princes, bodyguards, Navy SEALs, soldiers, doctors, paramedics, firefighters, cops, and the men who get mixed up in their lives, always with a happy ever after.
She lives just outside London and spends every waking minute she isn’t with family either reading or writing. The last time she had a week’s break from writing, she didn’t like it one little bit, and she has yet to meet a box of chocolates she couldn’t defeat.
V.L. Locey loves worn jeans, yoga, belly laughs, walking, reading and writing lusty tales, Greek mythology, the New York Rangers, comic books, and coffee.
(Not necessarily in that order.)
She shares her life with her husband, her daughter, one dog, two cats, a flock of assorted domestic fowl, and two Jersey steers.
When not writing spicy romances, she enjoys spending her day with her menagerie in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania with a cup of fresh java in hand.
Sally was bitten by the male/male romance bug in 2016 and hasn’t looked back. Her stories are emotional, sweetly angsty, and always have happy endings.
She also writes tie-in novels for the hit TV shows STARGATE: SG-1 and STARGATE ATLANTIS. To date she’s penned nine STARGATE novels and novellas, and four audio dramas.
Sally lives in South West London with her American husband, two lovely children, and two lazy cats.
LC ChaseCover artist by day, author by night, L.C. Chase is a hopeless romantic, free spirit, and adventure seeker who loves hitting the open road just to see where it takes her. When not writing sensual tales of men falling in love, she can be found designing romance novel covers, taking photos, drawing, horseback riding, or hiking the trails with her goofy four-legged roommate.
L.C. is a two-time Lambda Literary Award finalist for Pickup Men and Pulling Leather; an EPIC eBook Awards winner for Pickup Men; runner-up for Best Gay Contemporary Romance and Best Gay Book in the 2016 Rainbow Awards for A Fortunate Blizzard; honorable mention for Best Gay Contemporary Romance in the 2015 Rainbow Awards for Pulling Leather; and Best Gay Mystery/Thriller in the 2012 Rainbow Awards for Riding with Heaven. She is also a nine-time Ariana eBook Cover Art Awards winner.
You can find L.C. on her website, lcchase.com, and subscribe to her totally sporadic, no spam newsletter works in progress, new releases, newsletter exclusives, and more.
Frank W Butterfield
Frank W. Butterfield is the Amazon best-selling author of 89 (and counting) self-published novels, novellas, and short stories. Born and raised in Lubbock, Texas, he has traveled all over the US and Canada and now makes his home in Daytona Beach, Florida. His first attempt at writing at the age of nine with a ball-point pen and a notepad was a failure. Forty years later, he tried again and hasn't stopped since.
Having been, at various times and under different names, a minister’s daughter, a computer programmer, a game designer, the author of paranormal mysteries, a fan fiction writer, and organic farmer, Eli has been a m/m romance author since 2013. She has over 30 books published.
Eli has loved romance since her teens and she particular admires writers who can combine literary merit, genuine humor, melting hotness, and eye-dabbing sweetness into one story. She promises to strive to achieve most of that most of the time. She currently lives on a farm in Pennsylvania with her husband, bulldogs, cows, a cat, and lots of groundhogs.
In romance, Eli is best known for her Christmas stories because she’s a total Christmas sap. These include “Blame it on the Mistletoe”, “Unwrapping Hank” and “Merry Christmas, Mr. Miggles”. Her “Howl at the Moon” series of paranormal romances featuring the town of Mad Creek and its dog shifters has been popular with readers. And her series of Amish-themed romances, Men of Lancaster County, has won genre awards.
Sally Malcolm
LC Chase
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EMAIL: authorlcchase@gmail.com
lcchasedesign@gmail.com(cover design)
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