Summary:
After ten years away from home, bad boy caterer Gideon Marks has a lot to prove. Getting the holiday catering job at his childhood synagogue is the first step in demonstrating to everyone he didn’t turn out to be the failure they predicted. What he doesn’t count on is Rabbi Jonah Fine, his high school nemesis and secret crush, stirring up old feelings Gideon thought long gone and secrets he’s buried deep for years.
An unexpectedly passionate encounter shocks Gideon, but he pushes Jonah away, convinced he isn’t good enough to be in a relationship and would never be accepted by Jonah’s father. But Jonah hangs tough—he won’t allow Gideon to hide or run away from life again. And when it comes to love, Gideon learns the most important lessons aren’t always taught in school.
Original Review May 2016:
Another great story by Felice Stevens! There is connection, chemistry, history, love, food, and it is all wrapped up in a nice happily ever after package. Some might say that knowing you are reading a happily ever after before going in is a major spoiler but for me, it is not always about where they end up but how they got there and that is what Miss Stevens brings you: the journey. It takes talent to bring you a tale based on how and not just the endgame, so I highly recommend checking out this great little love story. We've all had at least one unrequited crush in our school days but finding out it may not have been so unrequited and are given a second chance you can't ignore it. If you have never read Felice Stevens before, this is a perfect place to start and if you have, well you know Learning to Love is worth checking out.
RATING:
An unexpectedly passionate encounter shocks Gideon, but he pushes Jonah away, convinced he isn’t good enough to be in a relationship and would never be accepted by Jonah’s father. But Jonah hangs tough—he won’t allow Gideon to hide or run away from life again. And when it comes to love, Gideon learns the most important lessons aren’t always taught in school.
Another great story by Felice Stevens! There is connection, chemistry, history, love, food, and it is all wrapped up in a nice happily ever after package. Some might say that knowing you are reading a happily ever after before going in is a major spoiler but for me, it is not always about where they end up but how they got there and that is what Miss Stevens brings you: the journey. It takes talent to bring you a tale based on how and not just the endgame, so I highly recommend checking out this great little love story. We've all had at least one unrequited crush in our school days but finding out it may not have been so unrequited and are given a second chance you can't ignore it. If you have never read Felice Stevens before, this is a perfect place to start and if you have, well you know Learning to Love is worth checking out.
RATING:
Summary:
Love is going pretty well for Gideon Marks. He’s living with his boyfriend, Jonah, and his business is thriving beyond his wildest dreams. So why is he still worried he’s not enough, and all he holds dear will slip through his fingers?
Jonah Fine has everything he wants; he’s head over heels in love with Gideon and has finally stepped out from under the shadow of his father. Aware of Gideon's continuing struggle with dyslexia, Jonah tries to reassure him that they are equal partners in their relationship by making their first Valentine's Day one to remember.
Ghosts from the past reappear, sending Gideon into a tailspin. He must make the decision to either hold on to the anger he grew up with or forgive the pain he’s carried with him all his life. It will take all of Gideon's courage, Jonah's love, and a special surprise for Gideon to finally realize the one person he must learn to love is himself.
Jonah Fine has everything he wants; he’s head over heels in love with Gideon and has finally stepped out from under the shadow of his father. Aware of Gideon's continuing struggle with dyslexia, Jonah tries to reassure him that they are equal partners in their relationship by making their first Valentine's Day one to remember.
Ghosts from the past reappear, sending Gideon into a tailspin. He must make the decision to either hold on to the anger he grew up with or forgive the pain he’s carried with him all his life. It will take all of Gideon's courage, Jonah's love, and a special surprise for Gideon to finally realize the one person he must learn to love is himself.
This is a brand-new, 12,000 word short story featuring a sexy chef, and a hot rabbi who needs to learn to stay out of the kitchen.
Summary:
A past he couldn’t forget
Adam Barton is living his dream of working as a firefighter in his small Texas town, but a tragedy from his youth continues to haunt him. He decides New York City is the perfect place to start a new life and joins the FDNY, living and loving his own way—no strings and nothing personal. Until he catches sight of Rico Estevez, the sexy chef with the mysterious smile who rocks his world. After one explosive night together, Adam craves another….And then another. The more he and Rico are together, the more Adam wants him.
A future he never imagined
Rico Estevez is living a lie. For years he’s hidden his sexuality, afraid to hurt the career of his politically ambitious father. He’s the perfect American―the best schools, top of his class and most importantly, to his father, a successful businessman. Who needs a boyfriend when sex is so easy to find? Starting a torrid love affair with Adam Barton isn’t a problem; neither one is looking toward forever. But Rico’s father is about to get the chance of a lifetime and Rico feels forced to play by his rules.
Rules are made to be broken
Adam proves more unforgettable than Rico ever imagines, but he gives in to family pressures above personal desire. When a fire reunites them, both men discover their passion for each other hasn’t died; rather it’s stronger than ever. Want turns to need and something more dangerous to their hearts—love. Adam and Rico know if they want to have it all, they can let no one and nothing stand in their way of a life together.
Adam Barton is living his dream of working as a firefighter in his small Texas town, but a tragedy from his youth continues to haunt him. He decides New York City is the perfect place to start a new life and joins the FDNY, living and loving his own way—no strings and nothing personal. Until he catches sight of Rico Estevez, the sexy chef with the mysterious smile who rocks his world. After one explosive night together, Adam craves another….And then another. The more he and Rico are together, the more Adam wants him.
A future he never imagined
Rico Estevez is living a lie. For years he’s hidden his sexuality, afraid to hurt the career of his politically ambitious father. He’s the perfect American―the best schools, top of his class and most importantly, to his father, a successful businessman. Who needs a boyfriend when sex is so easy to find? Starting a torrid love affair with Adam Barton isn’t a problem; neither one is looking toward forever. But Rico’s father is about to get the chance of a lifetime and Rico feels forced to play by his rules.
Rules are made to be broken
Adam proves more unforgettable than Rico ever imagines, but he gives in to family pressures above personal desire. When a fire reunites them, both men discover their passion for each other hasn’t died; rather it’s stronger than ever. Want turns to need and something more dangerous to their hearts—love. Adam and Rico know if they want to have it all, they can let no one and nothing stand in their way of a life together.
It’s time to celebrate Gideon and Jonah’s wedding day and all their family and friends are gathered for the occasion. As best man, Rico has everything planned, including a surprise for his boyfriend that Adam never saw coming. So sit back, grab a glass of champagne and join two of your favorite couples as they finally reach their hard-fought Happily Ever After.
This is a 6,000 word short story that contains several nervous grooms, parents who couldn’t be prouder, bagels and lox and a whole lot of wedding night sexy times. It has never before been published.
Learning to Love #1
“How did you know where to find me?”
“I didn’t. But when I went to your apartment and discovered you weren’t home, I thought to myself, ‘Where would a chef be early on Saturday morning?’”
Pleased he’d thought so carefully about me, I bit my lip to keep from smiling, then muttered with my head down, “Lucky guess on your part.”
“I’d like to think so,” said Jonah, his voice as soft as the breeze. My eyes met his, the hurt from our last conversation shimmering bright in their depths, causing a throb within me of a longing I’d never known existed. “Or maybe it was fate.”
He smiled then plucked the paper bag of rugelach out of my clutches, rummaged through it until he found an apricot one, and bit off half.
“Well, if you’re that hungry, I guess you can come home with me, and I’ll make you an omelet,” I grumbled but couldn’t stop the small grin tugging at my lips. “But I planned on browsing a bit more through the market first.”
“I’d like that.” Jonah walked beside me, and we meandered past the stands piled high with colorful peppers and squash. We strolled in silence, but every few steps I’d sneak a glance at him, expecting Jonah to speak. Instead he remained irritatingly, cheerfully silent.
I sampled some hot mulled cider and licked my lips. Spending so much time with Jonah gave me new insight. I’d always thought him superior and judgmental; perhaps I had been wrong in my assessment. He captivated me with the humor in his speech, warmth in his smile, and that unmistakable flare of desire in his eyes. Goddamn it, I wanted him.
I extended the paper cup. “Do you want a sip?” Its heady cinnamon scent remained one of my most favorite things about the fall season. To my shock, instead of answering me, he bent down and kissed me on my lips, lapping at their sticky sweetness. He stepped back, but I put a restraining hand on his wrist.
“What’s going on? Why are you really here?”
The honesty in Jonah’s face took my breath away.
“Do you really have to ask, after the last time?”
My body refused to listen to the war inside my head, kindling a deep need I couldn’t understand. I took a step forward, but unlike me, Jonah didn’t retreat. He stood firm, and I stood close enough to almost touch. Close enough to smell him.
“I’m not who you want; can’t you see that?”
“You don’t have any idea what I see when I look at you, Gideon.”
I wanted to yell back at him, No, you have no idea who I am, but I couldn’t bring myself to ruin the moment. I had no clue who Jonah thought I was, but I wanted to be that man if only to be able to have him always look at me like this. Like I was special. Like I was his. The sun beat hot upon my shoulders, and I held his gaze while contentment poured over me like a warm summer rain.
“I didn’t. But when I went to your apartment and discovered you weren’t home, I thought to myself, ‘Where would a chef be early on Saturday morning?’”
Pleased he’d thought so carefully about me, I bit my lip to keep from smiling, then muttered with my head down, “Lucky guess on your part.”
“I’d like to think so,” said Jonah, his voice as soft as the breeze. My eyes met his, the hurt from our last conversation shimmering bright in their depths, causing a throb within me of a longing I’d never known existed. “Or maybe it was fate.”
He smiled then plucked the paper bag of rugelach out of my clutches, rummaged through it until he found an apricot one, and bit off half.
“Well, if you’re that hungry, I guess you can come home with me, and I’ll make you an omelet,” I grumbled but couldn’t stop the small grin tugging at my lips. “But I planned on browsing a bit more through the market first.”
“I’d like that.” Jonah walked beside me, and we meandered past the stands piled high with colorful peppers and squash. We strolled in silence, but every few steps I’d sneak a glance at him, expecting Jonah to speak. Instead he remained irritatingly, cheerfully silent.
I sampled some hot mulled cider and licked my lips. Spending so much time with Jonah gave me new insight. I’d always thought him superior and judgmental; perhaps I had been wrong in my assessment. He captivated me with the humor in his speech, warmth in his smile, and that unmistakable flare of desire in his eyes. Goddamn it, I wanted him.
I extended the paper cup. “Do you want a sip?” Its heady cinnamon scent remained one of my most favorite things about the fall season. To my shock, instead of answering me, he bent down and kissed me on my lips, lapping at their sticky sweetness. He stepped back, but I put a restraining hand on his wrist.
“What’s going on? Why are you really here?”
The honesty in Jonah’s face took my breath away.
“Do you really have to ask, after the last time?”
My body refused to listen to the war inside my head, kindling a deep need I couldn’t understand. I took a step forward, but unlike me, Jonah didn’t retreat. He stood firm, and I stood close enough to almost touch. Close enough to smell him.
“I’m not who you want; can’t you see that?”
“You don’t have any idea what I see when I look at you, Gideon.”
I wanted to yell back at him, No, you have no idea who I am, but I couldn’t bring myself to ruin the moment. I had no clue who Jonah thought I was, but I wanted to be that man if only to be able to have him always look at me like this. Like I was special. Like I was his. The sun beat hot upon my shoulders, and I held his gaze while contentment poured over me like a warm summer rain.
The Way to His Heart #2
“Do you think I do that? Live with regrets until they’ve made me afraid to accept happiness and accept you loving me?”
I knew to choose my words carefully. “I think you’ve been alone so long it’s colored your outlook on life. And considering you’re one of the most fearless men I’ve ever met, I think it’s made you afraid to move forward. Your mother’s death and your father’s treatment of you left emotional scars. You have a hard time letting people in to help you.”
Gideon stood up, and I missed him immediately; I sat up and watched him pace the floor, holding his wine as he formulated his thoughts. My heart broke for him as I watched his inner turmoil break him down until he collapsed in the chair opposite me.
“I love you, Jonah. Thinking about being without you scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to be alone; I can’t anymore. But it’s not the being alone part that scares me. I’ve been alone all my life. It’s the being without you. I don’t want to lose you. Today made me realize how I could easily hurt you and push you away.” He gulped his wine then wiped his mouth on his sleeve and shuddered.
“It won’t happen.” I swung my legs off the sofa to go sit on the coffee table and face him. “I won’t let it.”
“I’m telling you. I’m perfect at ruining a good thing.”
“I’m not a good thing. I’m the best damn thing to ever happen to you.”
“I know that. But I don’t ever want you feeling like you have to stay with me because you feel sorry for me.”
I plucked the glass out of his hand and placed it on the table then stood and pulled him into my arms. “I feel many, many things for you—desire, absolute lust, but most of all, love. I’m with you because I love you, Gideon, and that’s never going to change.”
The pain in his eyes slayed me. When would he realize he deserved to be loved?
A slight smile curved Gideon’s lips. “Absolute lust huh? I think I like the sound of that.”
I knew to choose my words carefully. “I think you’ve been alone so long it’s colored your outlook on life. And considering you’re one of the most fearless men I’ve ever met, I think it’s made you afraid to move forward. Your mother’s death and your father’s treatment of you left emotional scars. You have a hard time letting people in to help you.”
Gideon stood up, and I missed him immediately; I sat up and watched him pace the floor, holding his wine as he formulated his thoughts. My heart broke for him as I watched his inner turmoil break him down until he collapsed in the chair opposite me.
“I love you, Jonah. Thinking about being without you scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to be alone; I can’t anymore. But it’s not the being alone part that scares me. I’ve been alone all my life. It’s the being without you. I don’t want to lose you. Today made me realize how I could easily hurt you and push you away.” He gulped his wine then wiped his mouth on his sleeve and shuddered.
“It won’t happen.” I swung my legs off the sofa to go sit on the coffee table and face him. “I won’t let it.”
“I’m telling you. I’m perfect at ruining a good thing.”
“I’m not a good thing. I’m the best damn thing to ever happen to you.”
“I know that. But I don’t ever want you feeling like you have to stay with me because you feel sorry for me.”
I plucked the glass out of his hand and placed it on the table then stood and pulled him into my arms. “I feel many, many things for you—desire, absolute lust, but most of all, love. I’m with you because I love you, Gideon, and that’s never going to change.”
The pain in his eyes slayed me. When would he realize he deserved to be loved?
A slight smile curved Gideon’s lips. “Absolute lust huh? I think I like the sound of that.”
All or Nothing #3
It all started with a redheaded fireman he couldn’t get out of his mind.
Rico sat in a booth at an out-of-the-way bar in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, wondering what the hell he was doing. He didn’t do meet-ups and dates; that shit got too personal, too fast. Yet the fearlessness Adam Barton showed when he’d rushed into the smoke-filled building took his breath away. Not to mention Adam’s big shoulders and startling blue eyes were pretty damn fine to look at as well.
Anytime Adam showed up at the store, looking for lunch, dinner or “something to snack on at the firehouse,” Rico hid in his office, cursing his stupidity and cowardice. Sure, the guy was hotter than hell with that red hair, white skin, and blue-blue eyes, but that all-American freckled face had relationship and boyfriend written across it. Not his speed—yet when Adam cornered him earlier that morning, Rico surprised himself by being so tongue-tied, he was unable to do anything but nod in agreement when Adam asked if he wanted to meet later for a drink. And here he sat, waiting.
“Dumbass,” he muttered, then took a swig from his bottle of Bud. Adam Barton was a nice guy; Rico could tell by looking at him that he was like Gideon’s boyfriend Jonah. Adam would be the type who’d call during the day to say hi and want to have brunch on Sundays with friends. But Rico wasn’t into that; he never had been. He cared about three things: his family, his business, and his small circle of friends he rarely, if ever, expanded. Those were rock-solid and got his full attention; he had no time to spare for anyone, no matter how pretty the face or sweet their ass. And while Rico was thrilled his best friend, Gideon, had fallen madly in love with Jonah, Rico had never felt that need to settle down. What for? And why bother? Certainly not for anything he couldn’t get from the guys he met at clubs.
That didn’t explain his heart skipping a beat as he watched Adam enter the bar and gaze around with an expectant look. When their eyes met and Adam smiled in relief, words once again failed Rico. He took another gulp of liquid courage, unable to figure out what his problem was whenever he saw the man.
“Hi. I’m glad you came.”
Adam brought in with him the coolness of the night air, plus his own scent of freshly washed skin, and smiled at the waitress who appeared at their table.
“I’ll take one of those Buds too, please.”
“Sure. Anything to eat, guys?” She stood with her pen poised over her pad.
“You hungry?” At least he managed to get two words out.
“Yeah, definitely. We had a bunch of calls in six hours, and I didn’t have time.” It didn’t take Adam long to check out the short list of food the bar offered. “I’ll take a burger, no onion, and fries.”
Rico, who’d been fighting nerves all day, hadn’t eaten much either and discovered he was hungry as well. “I’ll take the roast beef on a roll with mustard and coleslaw. Sweet potato fries. Thanks.”
“Great, guys; I’ll put this in and be back with your beer in a sec.” She cocked her head at Rico. “You want me to bring you another with his?”
Rico glanced down; he hadn’t realized his bottle was almost empty. “Yes, please.”
She hurried off, leaving them alone.
“Busy day?” Rico picked at the beer bottle label to give his hands something to do.
“Hell, yeah. One false alarm, one smell of gas, a small trash fire in the back of a building, and another, bigger fire in a brownstone. No one was hurt, and we dealt with them pretty quickly, but it’s the rush of adrenaline, never knowing if someone’s trapped, or if it can go to more alarms.”
Fascinated, Rico watched Adam come alive as he spoke.
“You love it, don’t you?”
“The job?” A fierce light burned in Adam’s eyes, rendering Rico weak with a throb of desire. “Yeah. From the time I was a little kid, all I ever wanted was to be a fireman. My old man used to take me to the station, and the guys there would sit me on the truck and let me pretend I worked there. Once I even got to ring the bell. I fell in love with it and never looked back.”
The waitress returned with their beers, and Rico finished the dregs of his first and took a hefty swig of the second. This was how it always went with him and a guy. Meet, drink enough to lose his inhibitions, and then some fast and hot sex wherever they could get it. He couldn’t remember the last time he had sex lying down in a bed instead of up against the wall. This wasn’t the life his parents wanted for him. His mother, who had passed away, had been the Miami-Dade State Attorney, and his father, a Miami County Commissioner, was on his way up in politics. Election to governor or a US Senate seat was not outside the realm of possibility for him in the future. A true power couple.
“At least you got to follow your dream.”
For the first time since they met, darkness shadowed Adam’s bright blue eyes.
“Yeah? Not sure I’m remembering a whole lot of what that dream was anymore.”
Thinking of his own family issues, Rico assumed Adam’s family didn’t accept him, and sympathized to an extent. From the time he was little, he’d known what was expected of him: go to the best schools; get the best education. Be the best American. His parents were born in Florida, each raised by Cuban immigrants. His father’s family made their fortune in a string of successful restaurants, his mother’s in real estate development. That lifestyle had enabled them to send him to WASPY private schools, grooming him, Rico knew, to follow in their path as a lawyer. They’d insisted on English-only in the house, wanting him to stand shoulder to shoulder with everyone else in their upscale community. Complete and total assimilation.
But Rico had other dreams. Dreams of being a chef and running his own restaurant, so he’d talked to his pipo, his grandfather, who agreed to let him work in his uncle’s diner to learn what would be necessary to run his own business, even though it went against what his parents wanted. Pipo was also the only one to speak in Spanish and who taught him what little he remembered. One night after they sat drinking coffee, he’d stood to leave, and Pipo grasped his shoulder, gazing fondly at him from beneath bushy, gray brows.
“Mi corazon. My heart. We followed our dream to America. Now you make your own life. Your way.”
He might’ve never told his staunch, conservative father he was gay, but Rico knew his family would never abandon him. At least he didn’t think so. Their motto had always been Family First, and he had to believe they meant it. But better that his father knew nothing of Rico’s personal life. Besides, whenever they spoke, it was always the business that his father was concerned with, whether they were making money or if they could afford their rent. It was how it had always been.
Stealing a quick look at Adam’s troubled face, Rico hurt for him. He didn’t like to see Adam sad. Those blue eyes should always be bright with laughter, and that mouth…damn. Rico shifted in the booth, his dick stiffening at the thought of Adam’s full lips on his.
“Well, you’re doing a great job here. I mean, the way you ran into the synagogue even though it was full of smoke? Shit. You must see some crazy-ass stuff.”
Adam cut his gaze away to the table for a second before returning to meet his eyes. “Yeah. I still get scared, though, whenever I go in; I’m sure the others do too. It’s not something we ever talk about. But I could never imagine doing anything else.”
The waitress appeared with their food, the meaty aroma of his roast beef and Adam’s burger triggering some major stomach rumbling on his part. He doused his fries with ketchup and took a big bite of the sandwich.
“Damn, I’m hungry. We’ve been so busy, I haven’t had any time to sit down and eat. We grab a bite here and there of whatever someone’s cooking in the kitchen at the moment. This tastes like heaven, but I don’t know if it’s because I’m so hungry or it’s really good.”
“My burger is good.” Adam’s voice came out garbled as he had a mouth full of food.
They sat and ate in companionable silence, and it didn’t take long for Rico to polish off his sandwich and fries; when Adam took a drink, Rico swiped a few fries from his plate.
“Hey.”
Adam caught his gaze, and the air stilled between them. Rico took another one and dipped it in ketchup, then slowly put it into his mouth. He had no fucking clue what he was doing, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Adam. Everything about the man was so damn attractive, from his red hair to his strong jaw dusted with red-gold scruff to those full pink lips.
“Mmm. Good.” He licked his lips, watching the heat of lust darken Adam’s blue eyes to an almost inky black. Rico’s body lit up; his blood burned and his dick throbbed.
Adam stood and threw three twenties and a ten on the table. “Let’s get out of here.”
Felice Stevens writes romance because what is better than people falling in love? Her favorite part of a romance novel is that first kiss…sigh. She loves creating stories of hopes and dreams and happily ever afters. Her stories are character-driven, rich with the sights, sounds and flavors of New York City and filled with men who are sometimes deeply flawed but always real.
Felice writes M/M romance because she believes that everyone deserves a happily ever after. Having traveled all over the world, she can safely say that the universal language that unites people is love. Felice has written in a variety of sub-genres, including contemporary, paranormal and has a mystery series as well.
Felice is a two-time Lambda Literary award nominee, and Lambda award winner for Best Gay Romance for her book, The Ghost and Charlie Muir.
All or Nothing #3
I Do, I Do #4
B&N / KOBO / SMASHWORDS
Series
B&N / KOBO / SMASHWORDS
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