What He Learns #1
Summary:A new dominant
A jaded submissive
What could possibly go right?
Sterling's plan is simple. Learn how to be dominant, woo his crush. The only problem is he doesn't know how to do either of those things. Getting a job at the local kink club seems like a good place to start. Meeting a kind and older submissive on his first night on the job throws a wrench into his plans.
Despite how hard he tried, Kelly was never enough for his ex-husband. Years after their amicable, yet heartbreaking, divorce, Kelly has come to terms with how things ended. Hoping to put all his doubts aside, he's ready to get back into the scene.
Kelly's first night coincides with Sterling's first shift at Desires, and he can't help his interest in the much younger man who has more questions than answers. It doesn't take long for them both to realize they have something important to offer the other. Sterling needs practice and Kelly... well, after so long away, he does too.
Questions turn into scenes and scenes turn into more, and they're just getting started when Kelly's doubts creep back in. If he wasn't enough for his ex, how can he be enough for a man like Sterling? Can Kelly learn to trust again, or will they lose everything they have built together before love can even be found?
What He Finds #2
Summary:Toby Harris has a good job, a good life, a real big crush on the handsome and slightly older man who works in his building. After weeks of watching from afar, Toby finally sees a chance to strike up a conversation, meeting Quentin for the first time.
On the back of a painful but amicable divorce, Quentin Carruthers finds himself forced to start his whole life over again. Even though he’s friendly with his ex-husband, Kelly, watching him find his own happiness leaves Quentin feeling jealous and sad.
One sandwich changes everything, and a casual conversation over lunch gives Quentin and Toby the opportunity to get to know each other better. Happiness feels like a possibility for Quentin for the first time in a long time, but bad news for Toby leaves them both reeling and wondering where to go. Taking a risk on something new, Toby throws his trust on Quentin, who is more than willing to pick up the pieces and be the man—and Dominant—Toby needs.
But between Quentin’s worries of being too much and Toby’s fears of not being enough, will they find happiness or are they both headed for another heartbreak?
What He Finds contains a seasoned Dom, an inexperienced sub, adventures in kitty play, cameos from some of your favorite Desires men, and a sweet and steamy HEA.
What They Deserve #3
Summary:Jade has spent years searching for a place that feels right. After years spent circling the block with just about every Dom at Desires, they're finally wondering if they've reached a dead end.
Angelo moved to get a fresh start, post breakup. But the only thing he's done is sling drinks at the local kink club, Desires, and watching Jade burn through partners like fire. Angelo has never stepped foot into a playroom there with a submissive for himself, but that hasn't stopped him from thinking about it. And those thoughts all center on Jade.
His crush on the non-binary beauty turns into serious concern when Jade has a scene end with a safe word, and their mutual friend Steve is wary about letting Jade continue down their self-destructive path. In response to their friends' worry, Jade ghosts everyone, which only sparks more of the untapped dominance that has been simmering just beneath Angelo's skin. When Jade stops coming around altogether, Angelo takes it upon himself to do something about it. After all, the whole point of moving was to move on, and it's high time that Angelo did just that.
Can a rusty Dom like him be the soft landing that a jaded submissive like Jade is looking for?
What He Learns #1
1
STERLING
“It says here you have twelve years in the service industry.” The guy interviewing him, Steve, didn’t look up from Sterling’s resume.
“Yes, sir.” Sterling clasped his hand tightly, forcing the urge to fidget and wriggle down. “I’ve worked every day since I turned fourteen.” Sterling outlined his work history briefly for Steve, though it was listed on his resume. He’d started working in the kitchen at his family’s restaurant when he was legally too young to work, but he left that part out. His experience in his family’s kitchen had enabled him to work pretty much in every position in a bar and restaurant a person could have. He liked working behind the bar the best, however.
Sometimes he thought he’d miss working for his family, but it would be nice to get away from them. He loved them, but they were overwhelming.
“I try hire people who are more familiar with the lifestyle, but Jade vouched for you.” Steve said.
Sterling flinched. Steve was a huge guy. Bald and imposing, he had a presence. Power radiated from him even when he wasn’t saying anything. He lifted his gaze to meet Sterling’s.
Sterling’s heart thumped at the mention of Jade’s name. They were the sole reason Sterling wanted to work at Desires. Okay, not the sole reason. There was something missing in Sterling’s life. He lived with a hole in his chest that he didn’t know how to fill. Jade had been a friend of Sterling’s for a while now. Once upon a time, they’d been a server in the restaurant Sterling’s family owned. They’d since left that job for another, but Sterling and Jade had been friends since their first day on the job when Sterling stood up to a particularly nasty customer for them.
Steve put the resume down and leaned back in his chair. “Jade told me what you did for them.”
“I’d have done it for anyone. I’m not a hero or anything. No one deserves to get treated that way.” Sterling’s guts churned when he remembered how hateful the customer had been when Jade approached the table in a blouse and a skirt. The customer had been rude straight away, and Sterling had taken more than a little joy in throwing them out.
Steve furrowed his brow. “What do you know about the lifestyle?”
Sterling took a breath so deep it made his ribs ache. “Honestly? Not enough.” Sterling exhaled. He wanted to deflate like a balloon, but he forced himself to sit and stay.
Steve smirked at him. “Jade said you appeared interested. I see they weren’t off base.”
“Not at all.” Sterling relaxed a little and let himself smile. “I know that it’s not your usual practice to hire people who aren’t in the lifestyle, and I promise I’m not just some looky-loo. Whatever you need me to sign, I will sign it for you. I’ll follow whatever rules you set for me, but,” Sterling paused. Did he want to lay it all on the line? He immediately kicked himself for hesitating. “I feel like I need to work here.”
The club was practically a legend around town. Formerly, it had only been a little kinky hole-in-the-wall, but then Steve purchased it from his best friend, Alan. Renovations happened. A restaurant got added and other changes were made. Those were less well-known, however, because the kinky crowd knew how to kiss and not tell. Steve had owned another restaurant in town, but he’d recently sold that so he could devote all his attention to the club.
Steve smiled a little, and Sterling took it as a positive. He leaned forward, folding his thick arms on the desk in front of him. “Tell me, Sterling. What do you hope to get out of working here, specifically? Jade says you’re interested in the lifestyle, but they wouldn’t say more. They vouched for your character, but weren’t very chatty with what you want out of working here. So either they don’t know, or you don’t.”
“Honestly, I don’t know.” Sterling forced the lump of emotion down. “Jade, they’re so fucking—sorry. They’re so confident and happy and settled. I’ve watched them submit, and it’s the most stunning thing in the world.”
“And you want that for yourself?”
Sterling almost panicked. Had he given himself away this early in the game? Did Steve guess Sterling was stupidly head over heels in love with Jade? But then he realized Steve thought he might want to submit to someone.
“Uh, no, Sir. I don’t want to be a submissive. I mean…” He raked a hand down his face and cursed himself for the cold brew he’d shotgunned on the way down here. “I don’t want to kneel for someone. I want to earn the right to have someone kneel… for me.”
Steve nodded. “There’s a sensitivity and diversity training course you must complete before your first shift starts. No training, no job. There’s a lot of different people who work here and visit here. The training is a prerequisite for hiring. Understand?”
Sterling nodded, then he realized Steve wanted verbal confirmation. “Yes, sir. Absolutely.”
Steve leaned over and opened one of his desk drawers. He pulled out a legal size manila envelope and handed it to Sterling, who took it with only a slight tremble in his hands.
“Do the course. Fill out the forms. When that’s all done, bring it back. I’ll give you a uniform and put you on the schedule.”
“Seriously?” Sterling squeaked. “Thank you. Holy crap.” He stood and held the envelope in his left hand, offering his right to Steve. “Thank you for taking a chance on me, sir. I won’t let you down.”
Steve shook his hand, and Sterling noted how it could probably crack every bone in his hand if Steve wanted to. God, the man was solid.
“I’ll walk you out.” Steve came around from behind his desk. He led Sterling back through the building. Nothing was open yet, but some staff were present. They looked busy, but happy, as they cleaned and chatted. They greeted Steve as he passed.
“Jade says people love working here.” Jade didn’t work for Steve, though. Jade only played at Desires. It had only been through a random twist of fate that they’d met at all.
A couple years before, Sterling had been out for drinks with his friend Robbie. The night was winding down, and they were about to call it quits and head home when Sterling saw someone slip something into Jade’s drink. Sterling stepped in, told the bartender, and helped Jade get out of there before anything bad could happen. They’d been friends ever since.
“Jade exaggerates,” someone said.
Steve paused and pulled the interrupter closer with a big hand wrapped around the guy’s wrist. “Matty, this is Sterling. He’s going to work here soon. Sterling, this is my partner Matty.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Sterling shook Matty’s hand and tried not to think indecent thoughts about his boss and his boss’s partner. Clearly, they were more than business partners, given the way Matty wrapped himself around Steve like cling film.
“I was just walking Sterling out, I’ll be back. Wait in my office for me.”
Sterling caught the heated way they looked at each other. Yep. Definitely not business partners. He made himself look away, not wanting to gawk at his boss and the way he fucked his boyfriend with his eyes.
Steve cleared his throat. “Shall we?”
Sterling’s face heated, and he set off in the direction they'd been going. Steve’s quiet chuckle unsettled Sterling, and he glanced over at him.
“You’re going to have to get used to seeing things without reacting, Sterling. It’s half the job. Some people enjoy being looked at.”
“How do you know the difference?” Sterling furrowed his brow.
“The ones who want you to see them, let you.”
“Ah.” Sterling wasn’t sure he fully understood. Hopefully, the training he’d do before he started would help him wrap his head around it. And if not, it would be a trial by fire. Nothing Sterling wasn’t used to.
Steve walked Sterling to the front door and twisted the lock to let him out.
“Was there a deadline to get the training done, Sir?” Sterling asked as Steve pushed the door open. The summer heat slammed into Sterling, and he winced at the flash of sunlight in his eyes.
“The sooner the better. It’s not an intense course, or long, but it is important.”
“Thank you. I’ll get it done as soon as possible.”
Steve grinned at him. “I know you will. Have a good day, Sterling.”
“You, too.” Sterling stepped out onto the sidewalk. When the door clicked shut behind him, he grinned and reached for his phone. Usually, he just texted Jade, but Jade had said to call them when his interview was over. Sterling decided that he’d rather facetime because any excuse to set eyes on Jade was good enough for Sterling.
Jade answered and immediately fumbled with the phone. The screen spun and swirled before coming to a stop on the floor. Sterling stared at Jade’s ceiling for a second until the familiar face came into view. “How’d it go? Holy shit, you got the job!” Jade squeaked. “He got the job!” Jade yelled out. A sick feeling slithered into Sterling’s gut.
Of course, Jade wasn’t alone. A semi-familiar face popped up over Jade’s shoulder. “Congrats, Sterling. Steve will be lucky to have you on board.”
“Thanks,” Sterling tried to keep his cheery demeanor. Jade was blissfully unaware of his feelings. If they hadn’t been, it would’ve been almost cruel the way they paraded around half dressed with their current fling. Jealousy burned hot in Sterling.
Fuck. This was going to be a disaster. How was he going to work at Jade’s fucking play pen? The place they went to cruise and find guys to do the things Sterling still didn’t have the courage to think about.
“Did you hear me?” Jade asked.
“No, sorry.” Sterling said, forcing himself to focus.
“I said we’ll have to go out and celebrate.” Jade pushed their dark hair out of their face.
“I have a course to do first, before I can start.”
“Just one drink, Sterling.” Jade batted their eyelashes at him. “Prettiest of pleases.”
Sterling’s resolve crumbled. “Okay. One drink. But that’s it.”
“Yes! I’ll text you the details. I need to go though. Randy is dropping me off at work, and I need to shower.”
“Have a good day at work.” Sterling made himself say.
Jade called out a goodbye, and the screen went black. Sterling deflated a little. What had seemed like a good idea at the time now seemed like the worst possible thing he could’ve done.
It was already hard for him to watch Jade be with people who weren’t him, and now Sterling was going to work at the place where Jade went looking for things. Things Sterling wanted to give them, but didn’t know how.
Sterling sent a text to Robbie, who knew all about Sterling’s stupid crush on Jade. Robbie had tried to talk Sterling out of working at the club, but once Sterling got the idea in his head, he couldn’t shake it.
He needed to work there. He needed to learn how to be a Dom. The endgame was Jade. He could see Jade in his mind, kneeling at his feet, looking up at him with their gorgeous brown eyes.
That’s as far as that day's dream went, though. Because after that, Sterling didn’t know what to do. What would Jade want? What would he want to do with Jade if he had the opportunity? There were so many blank spaces in his knowledge that he couldn’t wrap his mind around what he’d do with Jade. He knew he wanted them. That was as far as it went.
He wanted Jade in his bed and at his feet, and if he had to endure a little torture while he learned how to achieve that, then so be it. Jade was worth the heartache.
What He Finds #2
1
QUENTIN
Quentin Carruthers leaned back in his chair and slowly turned to look out the window. It was too nice a day to be trapped behind a desk, but he had work to do. “I know you’re paid well at your current employer. Remember who set you up with that interview. But I’m absolutely certain this new company is a better fit.” Quentin worked as a recruiter, and he was damn good at his job.
“I do like the idea of a better balance between work and life.”
Quentin spun a pen in his fingers as he talked. “The salary is fifteen percent more than you’re earning right now, plus the benefits package is superior. Paid time off. Four-day work weeks, which is basically unheard of.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll take the interview. Send me the details and I’ll make it happen.”
“They’re already in your inbox.” Quentin grinned.
“Someone was confident.”
“I know the relocation might be an issue for you, but they’re willing to pay moving expenses for the right candidate.” Quentin’s stomach rumbled, and he eyed the time. “But I should let you go. Eat lunch, look at my email, make good decisions.”
Laughter rang through the phone. “And by that, you mean do what you say.”
“Now you’re catching on.” Quentin glanced at the clock again. “Okay, I have to get going. I have another meeting.”
Quentin stood and headed to the elevators. He tucked his phone away and rode down to the bottom floor, and hoped that he wasn’t too late. The ground floor of the building he worked in housed a couple of restaurants, but it was the kiosk Quentin made a beeline for.
They served several specialty coffees, but also homemade desserts and sandwiches. They had a different menu for every day of the week, and Thursday’s menu was Quentin’s favorite. He tried to get down earlier than he had today, but he really wanted to make that call and get his client to take the interview.
He swore a little when he realized there was no way he was getting his sandwich. The line was longer than usual, too, and if it went too long, Quentin would have to take his food up to his office and eat at his desk when he far preferred to find a spot in the courtyard to eat. Sometimes he walked down the street and had lunch with Kelly, his ex-husband and best friend, but today Quentin knew Kelly would be swamped.
The line inched forward when someone swore and left the line. Near the front of the line, a familiar person came into view and Quentin couldn’t help but smile. Toby Harris worked one floor under Quentin, and he was cute as a button with his trim little body and his floppy dark hair.
As if Toby sensed himself being stared at, he turned. Quentin shot him a friendly smile and nodded at him. Toby waved. The line moved again, and Quentin watched Toby turn and move to make his order. Quentin liked Toby. They’d so far only shared random conversations in the kiosk queue, and sometimes they shared an elevator, but he seemed nice.
Pulling out his phone, Quinten busied himself reading a couple of emails while waiting for the line to move up.
“Quentin?”
Quentin looked up and saw Toby standing there with two coffees on a drink tray and two bags. “Hey, Toby.”
“I saw they were almost out of that sandwich you always get, so I got you the last one.” Toby handed Quentin the bag and turned the drink tray toward him. “And that’s your extra-large, two sugar, no milk, dark roast with a shot of hazelnut.”
Quentin felt a little dumbstruck as he took the offered items. “Thank you. That’s unexpected.” His brain finally came back online, and he stepped out of the line. “Do you have time to eat with me, or do you need to get back?” Quentin asked.
“I have time.” Toby blushed a little. Obviously, Toby liked him. But he wasn’t thirty yet and Quentin wasn’t sure he wanted to date someone who was still in their twenties.
It was a shitty excuse and Quentin knew it. There was nothing wrong with Toby or his age. The problem was that Quentin’s marriage ending rocked everything he thought he knew about himself. Quentin shook the cobwebs out of his brain. Kelly was happy and had moved on with someone far better suited to him than Quentin ever was, and he was happy for them both. Even if it drove home exactly how lonely he was.
“Are you okay?” Toby asked and Quentin looked at him as they entered the courtyard.
When the sun hits your hair just right, you can see the red in it. Quentin wanted to say. Instead of answering Toby’s question, he said, “Thanks again for buying me lunch. I thought for sure I wasn’t going to get to the front of the line in time.”
Toby motioned to a bench out of the way of foot traffic. “It was no big deal. You always hold the elevator for me. It was nice to do something for you.”
Quentin furrowed his brows. “Do I?”
Toby’s laugh was light, almost musical, and Quentin wasn’t sure he’d heard it before. “You do. I don’t feel special or anything, you hold it for everyone. But I know on Thursdays you’re down here lining up to get the reuben on rye, because they only serve them on Thursdays. Usually, you’re here before me, though.”
“You know a lot about me, Toby.” Quentin sat down. He set his coffee next to him, then opened the bag with his food in it. He carefully unwrapped one half of his sandwich. “Tell me something about yourself. Other than the fact that you have amazing observational skills.”
“I can tell someone to go fuck themselves in four different languages. Five if you count business professional. Six if you count pig Latin.”
Quentin choked on his sandwich. “That’s a handy skill to have. Where’d you learn that?”
Toby shrugged and finished chewing before he answered. The speed at which Toby ate surprised Quentin. In the time it had taken Quentin to eat a bite, and choke on it, and recover, Toby had powered through half of his sandwich.
“My college roommate was a language whiz. His parents are stupid rich and travel a lot for work. College was the first time he’d lived in the same place for that long. He tried to complain about it, but I think he liked it more than he let on. I think he liked the routine of it. He taught me all kinds of things, but only the really fun words stuck.”
“Do you always answer questions about yourself with answers detailing someone else?” Quentin eased the blow of his question by gently nudging Toby’s shoe with his own. He smiled at him too, but he saw the rather sad look on Toby’s face and felt like the world’s largest asshole. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I don’t feel like I’m a very interesting person, that’s all.” Toby’s shoulders dropped as he physically deflated.
Quentin sighed. “I was really enjoying this sandwich and then I went and stuffed my foot in my mouth.”
“The hazelnut in your coffee should cancel the toe jam flavor.”
“I do not have toe jam,” Quentin pretended to be insulted. “For the record, the most interesting thing about me is that I’m still friends with my ex-husband.”
“That’s because you’re a nice person.”
“You don’t know me that well then,” Quentin joked.
“You’re not going to convince me you’re a bad person, Quentin.”
“Because I hold the elevator for you.”
Toby looked at him. His expression was strange and maybe if they knew each other better, Quentin would’ve been able to read it. As it was, he couldn’t tell what Toby was thinking.
“Because you don’t treat me like I’m a child because I’m short.”
“Well, that’s because height isn’t an accomplishment. You’re not tall, but you’re not a child.”
“And that’s why your ex-husband is still your friend.”
“I suppose I have some redeeming qualities.” Quentin took a bite of his sandwich, aware that the time he had left with Toby didn’t feel like nearly enough. It was why, stupidly, he felt compelled to make sure it wasn’t the last time they had lunch together. “I have a meeting I need to get prepared for, but I’m buying next time.”
When Quentin extended the invitation, Toby’s face lit up. Toby was handsome to begin with, but when he smiled, he went from good looking to absolutely, devastatingly gorgeous.
Seeing the smile on Toby’s face made Quentin want to see it more often. Like he’d suddenly become an addict and Toby’s beaming grin was his new drug of choice.
“Next week?” Quentin asked. Setting a lunch date for the next day seemed a tad desperate.
“Yeah. Okay.” Toby nodded. “See you… well, probably tomorrow, but next week for sure. What day?”
“Well, I suppose whatever day works fine. I have lunch with Kelly about once a week, but we usually do Wednesdays. Let’s exchange numbers. Then I can text you and see if you’re free.”
“I’m always free at lunch. My boss doesn’t let people work through their break, unless it’s him.”
“He’s a good boss, then.” Quentin handed his phone to Toby. “Send yourself a text, so I have your number.”
Quentin watched Toby’s nimble fingers tap away a quick message before handing the phone back to him.
“Thanks again for lunch.” Quentin slid his phone away and gathered his trash off the bench. He’d devoured his sandwich, but he still had half his coffee. The coffee Toby had known just exactly how to order for him. “Are you heading up now? I could hold the elevator for you.”
Toby looked almost shy and Quentin hoped he hadn’t made him uncomfortable. Was he actually trying to flirt with Toby, or was he just losing his mind? Toby was a pretty face and a nice guy. To be honest, Quentin could do a lot worse. But, as Quentin had learned from the way things between him and Kelly had dissolved, cute was fine for a date, but Quentin wanted to build a life with someone. Cute might not cut it if their personalities didn’t match.
Toby could be the hottest, nicest, most single person in the building, but unless he had the potential to be what Quentin needed, there was no point in pursuing anything. Except everyone needed friends, right?
Toby could be a friend. Hell, he’d bought Quentin lunch. He hadn’t proposed marriage. For all Quentin knew, Toby wasn’t interested. He might not even be Toby’s type.
“Are you okay?” Toby asked, snapping Quentin out of his spiral.
“Sorry.” Quentin stifled a self-deprecating comment. “I’m not sure,” he said instead. “I have a lot on my mind today, that’s all.”
Toby nodded, and they quietly headed for the elevators, with Toby falling into step next to Quentin. It didn’t escape Quentin’s attention that Toby was the perfect height. Tucked in next to Quentin, his head probably wouldn’t come past Quentin’s chin. He was smaller, sure, but that only meant it would be easier to… nope. He couldn’t think those thoughts in public when he was just about to step onto an elevator. Besides, if Toby was going to be his friend, Quentin should at least attempt to stop perving on him.
His resolve lasted until they stepped into the elevator and Quentin had to stand shoulder to shoulder with him. Toby smelled like an impossible combination of coffee and freshly fallen rain and, given the chance, Quentin knew he’d happily drown in it.
When they stopped at Toby’s floor, Quentin barely resisted the urge to get off on the wrong floor and walk Toby back to his desk. Instead, he bid Toby a fond goodbye, thanking him for the lunch. He watched Toby smile, not as big, but just as devastating, before Quentin finally had to relent and let the elevator doors slide shut.
By the time he got back to his office, he felt like an absolute fool. A lonely old idiot who got all knotted up by the first pretty face to show a modicum of interest. Quentin dropped into his chair and considered the fact that he might, in fact, be too lonely for his own good.
The idea of trying to find someone to fit that empty space in his life was too daunting to entertain, so he didn’t. He went back to his work and shoved Toby firmly into the—friend he sometimes has lunch with—category and put everything else out of his mind.
What They Deserve #3
1
JADE
Their shoulders ached from the way their arms were tied behind their back. The stretch was good, though. It settled Jade into themself and made everything quiet. If they shifted too much, the ropes tugged the hook that was buried deep in their ass. Jade let out a breath as slow as they could.
“Having trouble, cub?” Dave’s deep voice reverberated through Jade, making them tremble. Dave pulled on the rope that was attached to the anal hook. They cried out, rocking on the balls of their feet, feeling suddenly and deliciously unstable. Sweat beaded on the back of their neck and they felt a drop slide down between their shoulder blades.
“I asked you a question.”
“Sorry, Sir.” Jade took a deep breath. They could tell the scene was ending. Dave was an amazing dom and Jade half hoped to renegotiate a longer contract when this one came to its end in a month. Dave was gentle but firm. Rough without being brutal. He knew how to rig a rope and swing a flogger. He had hands made of steel and Jade loved being put through their paces by him.
“Your mind is wandering. Are you bored?”
Jade’s head snapped up, and they looked Dave in the eyes. “What? No.” Their chest suddenly felt too tight when Dave’s gaze softened. Until that point it felt like part of the game. Then Jade saw it, the same look they’d seen on the face of every Dom they’d ever had a scene with. The expression of impending doom.
They knew what was going to happen before Dave said another word. It was always the same. Jade, you’re a lot of fun, but I don’t see this going further. Jade, you’re a remarkable submissive, but you’re not bratty enough. You’re too bratty. Too much. Not enough. Too into the lifestyle.
Jade lowered their gaze and took a deep breath. They tried to get their head back in the scene. Dave even gave them a few minutes. He gently massaged Jade’s arms. He caressed his bare skin, but Jade’s willingness to submit had evaporated.
Jade lifted their head and looked Dave in the eyes. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable.
“Red.”
Dave nodded once and grabbed the safety shears. Jade was about to argue that he didn’t have to ruin perfectly good rope, but it was still Dave’s job to look after Jade for a few more minutes. Until Jade was free of the ropes. Then they could get the fuck out of there.
The anal plug popped loose, and the sudden emptiness was jarring. Another length of rope was cut and Jade could separate their arms and move them back down to their sides.
“Here, let me,” Dave carefully unwrapped Jade’s arms. He rubbed his hands over the rope marks and made Jade do a grip check by having them squeeze his fingers. “Let’s sit and talk, okay?”
Jade gathered their simple black shorts off the floor and stepped into them. Whatever arousal they’d built up had faded to nothing, leaving Jade feeling cold and unwelcoming.
“No thanks, Dave,” they faked a smile. “I know how this conversation is going to go.”
“Jade, sit,” Dave pointed to the bed. “Please.”
Jade shook their head. Had they worn a shirt? They couldn’t remember. Sometimes they did. Sometimes they didn’t. It was a sex club, clothing was optional, really. Jade fought the urge to reach for the doorknob. They knew they owed Dave the decency and the respect of having this conversation, but it didn’t change the fact that it was going to feel like rolling around in glass, then jumping in a pit of lemon juice.
“I’m fine standing, but maybe some water?” Jade wrapped their arms around their torso. They had a hoodie in their locker, and they couldn’t wait to slip into it. The club normally didn’t feel this cold. Maybe they were coming down with something. Or maybe they were just a big fucking baby who couldn’t hold on to a relationship or a dom.
Dave gave Jade a bottle of water and they cracked it open, drinking half like a good little submissive.
“I think you know we’re not a match, Jade.” Dave said softly. “It shouldn’t have to be this much work.”
Jade flinched like someone had slapped them. “That’s a new one.” Anger and sadness mixed in their stomach. They flushed all over, feeling weak and slightly sick.
“Maybe that came out wrong, but I just mean that it should be easier between us. More natural. Less forced.”
Jade snorted and twisted the cap back onto the bottle a little harder than necessary. The plastic crinkled in protest. “Right. You said that.”
“I’m fucking this up.” Dave stroked his fingers through his hair.
“It’s fine, Dave,” Jade said, feeling the furthest thing from. “It’s not like I can legally compel you to fulfill a kink contract. You’re free to go.” Their eyes cut to the door. “Am I?”
“I want to make sure you’re okay.” Dave took a step toward them, but Jade held up their hand, motioning for him to stop.
“I’m no longer your difficulty.”
“Jade, wait. Don’t leave upset like this.” Dave started after them, but they slid out the door and pulled it shut. The last thing Dave would do would be to follow them through the club, begging and pleading and making an ass of himself.
Jade hurried down the stairs, going as fast as they dared without drawing attention to their hasty exit. When they reached the bottom, they slowed their pace even more, skirting past a few familiar faces without being seen. They were nearly home free. The locker room entrance was only a few feet ahead. They were so close they could practically feel the softness of their hoodie.
“Jade, stop.”
Jade’s footsteps faltered, and their shoulders drooped. Steve stepped into view, broad, imposing, and unhappy.
“I’d like a word with you,” Steve said. He waited for Jade’s response; a solemn nod that might’ve been missed had he not expressly been looking for it. “Take them to my office, Matty. Get Angelo to bring some orange juice and grab a blanket for them.”
Jade scowled. The last thing they wanted was to be made to feel like an idiot in front of half the club. But it wasn’t half the club. Steve and Matty had seen Jade in all manner of states of emotion and arousal. The rest of the club was completely unaware of what was going on, except for a dejected-looking Dave, hovering off to the side, looking guiltier by the minute.
But Angelo would know. He’d see Jade all tied up in emotions and not pretty ropes, and they hated the way that made them feel. But they followed Matty anyway. They didn’t have a choice. Matty was like a golden retriever puppy, impossible to not like.
Matty slid his arm around Jade and tugged them expertly through the room in such an unassuming way that no one paid them any mind. He was good at it.
They came to the bar and Matty beckoned Angelo over. Jade might not be able to read Angelo, but it was clear from the look on his face that he could read Jade. Concern passed over his face, just a flash before his usual aloof indifference slid into place. Jade added another tally to the list of people who didn’t think they were worth thinking about and averted their eyes. Anything was better than staring at Angelo’s impassable expression.
“Two OJ’s please, Angelo. And can you have the kitchen make a batch of disco fries for Jade?”
Jade looked at Matty, who had somehow learned their weakness. “I’m not hungry.”
“That’s fine. I am.” Matty grabbed the bottles of orange juice off the bar-top and tugged Jade down the back hallway and into Steve’s office.
Had it not had a computer sitting on an oversized, sturdy desk, it wouldn’t have looked like an office at all. The furniture was leather and comfortable. The walls painted a dark green, rather than the usual office eggshell white. Framed kinky pictures hung on the wall.
Matty pressed the glass of orange juice into Jade’s hand. He lifted the top of the ottoman and pulled out a humongous fuzzy blanket, and draped it around Jade’s shoulders before burrowing in next to them.
“Dave called us with the emergency phone.”
Jade whipped their head around and looked at Matty. “There wasn’t an emergency. He…” Jade cleared their throat. “We weren’t into it tonight, so I ended the scene. He cut me down and then we both agreed that we shouldn’t see each other in a dom/sub capacity anymore.”
“He said you were argumentative and refused aftercare. He just wants to make sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine,” Jade’s voice cracked. Because of-fucking-course it did. They cleared their throat and looked away from Matty. “I’m okay. I just didn’t feel like a post, it’s not me, it’s you, break up snuggle. I want to go home.”
“It’s Dave’s duty, as the dom you were in a scene with, to look out for your safety. That’s all he was doing. It’s also Steve’s job to make sure his submissives are cared for. He’s interrogating Dave right now, making sure he didn’t cross any lines with you.”
Jade rolled their eyes. “Dave was fine. He didn’t do anything wrong. He’s good at what he does, we’re just not a good fit. Too bad we didn’t realize that before he had the anal hook in me and my arms strung up behind my back. It would’ve made getting out of there a lot easier.”
“I’m sorry, Jade.” Matty rubbed circles on Jade’s back. They almost asked him to stop, but then they realized they didn’t hate it. They believed Matty was sorry for the situation and not sorry for them. That Matty didn’t feel pity, but empathy was important.
Someone knocked softly on the door and Matty gave permission for entry.
Angelo walked in with a plate of steaming disco fries. Green onion and cheddar cheese, all melted dumped on top of a side of fries, heavy on the salt, super bad for you, and Jade’s favorite food.
Angelo set the fries down on the ottoman in front of Jade. “I had extra cheese added.”
Before Jade could formulate a response, Angelo was out the door. It opened a second later and Steve appeared. Thankfully without Dave. Jade understood why he did what he did, from the ending of the contract to tattling on him to Steve. That didn’t mean they had to like it.
Steve took a seat in an oversized chair opposite to Jade. “I talked to Dave. Now I want your side of the story.”
Jade took a deep breath and let out a huge sigh. Matty tried to pull him in closer, but Jade stiffened and Matty backed off.
“We were in a scene, and we weren’t into it. I called red, and he cut me down and made sure I was okay. We decided to not continue our contract. He wanted me to sit and talk, but I just wanted to go home.” Jade lifted their gaze and met Steve. The man could make people shit their pants with only a look, but he only had compassion for Jade.
“I understand that, but you freaked him out, Jade. He’s really worried about you. He wanted you to sit and talk with him for a few minutes. Aftercare is important to dominants as much as it is to submissives, even more so when something in a scene goes wrong. The protocols we have in place are to protect people.”
Jade nodded. “I understand.”
Steve raked a hand down his face. “I’m imposing a temporary restriction on you, Jade.”
The juice in their stomach soured. “What?”
“I’m not banning you. You’re free to come here, but for the next two months, you’re not allowed to play. No scenes. No negotiating for scenes once the restriction is lifted. I want you to come here as much as you do any other time, but maybe taking a step back will help readjust your perspective.”
“So, I’m not actually banned?” Jade could’ve cried in relief. It wasn’t a big deal to blow off the playrooms for a couple months. It wasn’t anything they hadn’t done before.
“No negotiating. No play rooms. You can attend public demonstrations as an observer. That’s it. Upstairs is off limits. I’ve already alerted the dungeon masters. Believe it or not, this isn’t a punishment, Jade.”
Jade scoffed and reached for the cheesy fries. Waste not, want not. The fries wouldn’t fill the empty hole inside of them, but they were salty and greasy and tasted nice. “I find that hard to believe. No offense, Sir. But you basically grounded me.”
“It’s for your own good.” Steve looked at them as though he were daring Jade to argue.
“Are you sure you’re not a daddy dom?” Jade popped another fry in their mouth. Truthfully, they felt horrible about bailing on Dave the way they did. They knew better. But Dave had looked at them with big sad eyes full of pity and they couldn’t take it. At least Steve had the decency to look stern and concerned and a little bit miffed, maybe.
“I’m positive. Eat your fries. Drink your juice. Speak to Dave before you leave.”
Jade sighed. “Could you send him in and give us a few minutes alone? I really do want to go home, but I’ll make things right with Dave first.”
Steve stood and clapped Jade on the shoulder. He gave it a friendly squeeze, like a proud dad approving of his kid’s change in behavior. “Thanks, Jade. If you need anything, you let me know.”
“I will. Thanks.” Jade watched Steve usher Matty out the door. Jade barely had a minute to gather their thoughts before Dave knocked and slipped into the office. He looked at Jade, his eyes full of sadness.
“I’m sorry, Jade.”
“Dave, sit down, please.” Jade patted the seat next to him and Dave sat down. Who said doms never took instructions? “I owe you an apology. I don’t do well with,” they waved their hand in the air. “This. You know. I’ve had a lot of doms not renew a contract with me. I’ve had some break it early. It’s fine. It’s part of this whole lifestyle thing, right? I just… I thought we’d have a few more weeks at least.” Jade sighed and took another fry. Despite the cheese, it just tasted like salty sadness.
“I really am sorry.”
Jade’s shoulders slumped under the weight of Dave’s apology. It was sincere, but it still sucked that he thought Jade was too much work. He was apologizing for not renewing the contract, but not for those words. He likely wasn’t aware of the impact the words had on Jade. They dug in under Jade’s skin like poisoned thorns.
Jade forced a smile. “It’s all right. I’d really like to get home. I’m tired and I think I’m coming down with something. Probably why I wasn’t really into it tonight.”
Dave’s face paled. “I can drive you.”
Jade shook his head. “Dave, thank you, but I’d rather call for a ride. I don’t live far.”
“At least let me pay.”
Jade acquiesced. They just wanted to go home and curl up in a bath and pretend that life didn’t completely fucking suck. “Are you going to be okay?” They asked Dave. It seemed like the right thing to do.
“I’ll be okay. I’ve just never had a submissive run out on me like that. It was alarming.”
Jade forced a smile. “I’m sorry about that.” They truly were sorrier than Dave would ever know because the reality had set in that Steve had put them on probation. No scenes for two months. No negotiating. No nothing.
After a deep breath, they reassured themself that it was nothing they couldn’t handle. They’d be fine.
Piece of cake.
Saturday's Series Spotlight
Desires
Desires: New Beginnings
E. M. Denning is a writer from British Columbia. She loves her family and animals, and anything cute and fuzzy. She writes romance for the 18+ plus crowd because she's both a hopeless romantic and a dirty old woman.
You can find her on her website, Facebook or on her blog.
What He Learns #1
What He Finds #2
What They Deserve #3
Desires: New Beginnings Series
Desires Series
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