Chapter One
REMINGTON ELLWOOD
Did I really just fly halfway around the world to get away from my family?
Was I really doing this?
“Looks like we’re really doing this.” Tanyl took the words right out of my mouth from the seat in front of me. He was one of my three employees who’d flown here with me. Simply because I’d asked.
Okay, well, the three of them were also my best friends, and I paid them all really well, but still. They’d left their homes behind to come here with me for the next few months.
“Looks like,” Isalendra, my other friend, said right as the wheels of the plane touched down.
I glanced out the plane’s window as we descended and took in the sight of a large city sitting smack in the middle of an icy desert. It looked so odd with basically nothing surrounding it, but I couldn’t deny that it was also beautiful, if not familiar.
Brinnswick got cold, and it snowed in some parts of it, but it never turned into the all-consuming iciness I could see before me.
I couldn’t even see any of the towns that supposedly surrounded the city, but maybe they were farther away from the capitol than I thought.
“Why did you pick the coldest territory in Gauhala again, Remi?” Isa asked, also staring out the window.
“The king here was the only one willing to let me open a branch in his territory.”
She wrinkled her nose. “They’re probably hurting for business if it’s as cold down there as it looks.”
I turned away from the window to face her from across the aisle. “You know this is only the start of the cold season, right? It’s not even cold out yet, according to the locals.”
She grimaced. “You always bring us to the best places, Rem.”
Tan said, “The sarcasm is strong with this one.”
I snorted at them when Isa punched his arm, and they started bickering.
I took a breath, and Savelle, who sat beside me, sent me a smile, squeezed my hand, and said, “We’re going to do great.”
I nodded. “Yeah. We got this.”
“We really do.”
As soon as we landed, and the pilot said it was safe to unbuckle, I quickly undid my seatbelt and stood so I could grab my carry-on from the overhead compartment. Once it was in hand, I followed the line of people out of the plane. It wasn’t difficult to follow my friends in the crowd since Tan’s Bonded cat was riding on top of his head. Literally, there was an orange tabby cat just chilling on top of his head like a hat—the claws had to hurt. It looked ridiculous. That cat was a goofball and so perfect for my witchy friend.
I turned my phone’s airplane mode off and wasn’t even surprised when it rang immediately.
With a sigh, I answered. In lieu of a hello, I said, “Yes, Dad, the plane landed, and I made it here fine. I literally just stepped off two seconds ago.”
My dad, Ailin, said, “I’m glad you made it there safe.”
Savelle’s eyebrows rose, and they mouthed, “How did he know we landed already?”
Holding the phone away from my ear, I spoke to my friend even though I knew my dad could hear every word. “I can only assume he magicked a tracker onto me or into one of my bags or something before I left.” That was totally something he’d do, although I was surprised my other dad hadn’t stopped him.
“That’s exactly what I did.”
I rolled my eyes at him.
Here I was, a forty-three-year-old wolf shifter, being watched over like I was a freshman in college or something. I was the baby of the family, so my dads were even worse with me than they were with my older siblings. Dad was the most ridiculous. Pops wasn’t quite as bad.
Okay, honestly, both of my fathers were bad, but they loved me and our family more than anything, and I wouldn’t have them any other way.
Savelle’s eyes widened at me before they huffed out a small laugh and continued walking. They were used to my crazy family’s antics.
“Was the flight okay?” my other father, Sebastian, aka Pops, asked. “Did you find your bags?”
I held in another eye roll as my three best friends and I made our way through the airport. “I’m not even near baggage claim yet, but yeah, the flight was fine.”
“We could’ve flown you ourselves,” Dad said for probably the hundredth time since I’d told them about this trip. He’d been arguing with me about coming here at all for weeks before he realized I was going with or without his approval. And then he argued about taking me here himself.
I mean, really, the man just liked to argue. Just ask my other dad.
“I know, but I was flying out several employees, so I wanted to fly with them, and you guys are too busy right now, anyway.”
“We’re never too busy for you,” Pops insisted. It made me smile. Such a Pops thing to say—and I knew he meant it.
“I know you’re not, but I had a way of getting here without disrupting anyone else’s schedule, so that’s what I did. It’s no big deal.”
In truth, I’d wanted to avoid their way of travel—riding a dragon or a manticore across the entire ocean with my fathers and then having them stay here with me and try to take over my entire project. At home, my dads and siblings were all a big deal. But I’d come here to prove to myself that I could do my job, and do it well, even without the Ellwood name holding so much clout.
“You’re sure you’re okay, Remi?” Pops’ voice was full of so much love, I could practically feel it bursting through the phone.
“I’m sure.”
“Okay, bud. Please call us if you need anything at all. Yes, we’re busy, but you know we’ll be there in a heartbeat if you want or need us there.”
“I know.”
“Even if all you need is a hug.”
Mother of All, he was a sap, but I couldn’t deny that warmed my heart a little. “I know.”
“We love you, kiddo,” Dad added.
“I love you guys too.”
“Please be careful.”
“I will.”
After a few more I love yous and promises to stay safe, I was finally able to hang up and try to find my luggage. Yes, my dads drove me crazy sometimes, but I honestly couldn’t have been adopted by better parents. A day hadn’t passed without me knowing how loved I was in our household.
Not to mention, they’d brought me into a family with about a thousand other kids, so I’d had plenty of siblings, cousins, and now, nieces, nephews, and niblings running around. It was a good life—a great one, even.
But even with all of that, with all of my family members, with all the familial love I felt on a daily basis, I still felt like I was missing something.
That small ache in my heart made itself known at the thought. Damn.
“You okay?” Savelle asked, picking up on my brief moment of discomfort immediately.
“I’m fine. I don’t like all the smells in this place.” It wasn’t a lie, even if it wasn’t the whole truth. Overcrowded public places were filled with way too many scents for my oversensitive shifter nose.
I could tell they knew I wasn’t telling the whole truth, but they let me get away with it for once.
I held in a sigh. Why had I been so eager to leave home again?
Maybe it was because all of my siblings had already found their viramores—their soulmates—and I hadn’t found even a hint of one. I had all of the familial love I could ever hope for, but I’d never had a true partner before.
I’d dated many different people, but I’d never found anyone special. I’d never had any real, long-lasting relationships before because as soon as I’d realized the person I was dating wasn’t theone, I’d broken it off. I’d seen how special a viramore relationship was—hell, I grew up with my dads, so it was impossible not to—so I’d never wanted to settle for anything less than that.
Unfortunately, that meant I tended to be pretty lonely most days.
That was probably part of the reason why I’d created this project on the other side of the world in the first place.
I wanted to get away from all the happy couples at home and be free of that for a little while. I loved my family tremendously, but I needed a break from everyone trying to set me up with every single person they’d ever met. I knew my dads and siblings were trying to help me, but Mother of All, it could be sooooo damn annoying when they were constantly inviting me over for dinner, only for me to find out it was some kind of blind date.
My family was up in my business so hard.
I mean, I was just as bad as they were, but geez, did I need a few months of peace and quiet.
So here I was, in Gauhala, about as far away from my home country of Brinnswick as I could get, getting ready to open a new security firm here, specifically in the Sedoba Territory.
Gauhala was split into eight different territories, and each one was run by a different leader.
I’d be meeting with the king of Sedoba in two weeks’ time.
They never used to have royalty here, but when people started taking over and leading a few decades ago, the people began calling them kings, queens, and royals.
The Sedoba Territory was led by King Garrick Von Stein. I hadn’t heard a lot of nice things said about the guy, but I’d at least heard that he wasn’t ruthless and definitely wasn’t as bad as the dude who ran the Cantamad Territory.
Of all eight territories, Sedoba was supposedly the friendliest to outsiders—and definitely the coldest. I guess we’d see exactly what that meant for us, but that was the main reason I’d picked it for my new venture.
A venture I was excited and nervous about.
“You okay, Remi?” Savelle asked again as they pulled their bags off the belt. They were my number two in my business and one of the best people I knew.
They also happened to be a kelpie, which explained all the looks they were getting. Kelpies were very rare in our world, and that alone would turn enough heads, but I’d bet it was the fact that Savelle was one of the most beautiful creatures I’d ever seen that was drawing all the attention. And they were only in their bipedal form. People would likely keel over from the sheer beauty if they shifted into their kelpie form.
I sent them a smile. “Yeah, I’m good. You know how my dads are.”
They chuckled because they really did know.
They sent me a wink. “They love you.”
With a sigh, I admitted, “Yeah, I know.” I nodded at my three best friends and gestured to the airport doors that led to the cold outside. “You ready?”
Isa and Savelle nodded, and Tan punched the air, saying, “Let’s do this!”
It made all of us laugh, and Savelle nudged me to lead the way out into the unknown.
Savelle, Tan, and Isa would be invaluable in setting up the office here. All three had been with me since the beginning and had helped me set up all our offices in Brinnswick. Other than my family, there was no one I trusted more.
We were ready to make this new project the best one yet.
The secondI stepped off the elevator at my new apartment building, I sighed, dropped my suitcase, and pinched the bridge of my nose.
Savelle asked, “Is that—?”
“Yes. Yes, it is.”
“Is that what—oh.” Isa’s eyes went wide, and Tan shook his head with amusement.
Shrugging at all three of them, I pulled out my phone and dialed. The second I heard someone pick up, I said, “You guys came and put up wards?”
My dad simply said, “Yes.”
“Dad! You do know that I run a security firm, right? Like, this is what I do for a living?”
He sighed. “Did you really think Pops and I would let you go to the other side of the world without us warding your home? You and I both know that our coven land is the most well-protected land in the entire world, and guess who warded it? Me.”
My nostrils flared. “Yeah, but you also had Pops and everyone else in the family add their magic to it. That’s why it’s so powerful. That’s why when I set wards for people for a job, I use at least two—usually three—different essences to enhance it. Did you think I was going to leave my home here unprotected? And that of my best friends?”
He was quiet for a few beats before he sighed, loud and heavy. “No, I didn’t, but I figured you could add to the ward we already placed there. Remi, I—”
He cut himself off, so I asked, “What?”
He didn’t respond for a few seconds before he breathed out heavily. “You won’t let us help you, and Pops and I are worried.”
“Was Pops really okay with this?”
“Yes.”
Before I could ask him if he was being truthful—which was dumb because my dad didn’t lie—Pops came on the line, saying, “Yes, Remi, I was okay with it. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, but we knew you wouldn’t let us, and we… we just want to keep you safe, bud. That’s all we want.”
This time, it was me who sighed heavily. “I know.” I paused. “How did you even get here and home without any of us noticing?”
“You do remember that your brothers can use the fae realm to travel large distances, right?”
Oh. Yeah, I guess that made sense. Three of my witch brothers had some really badass magic that allowed them free travel through the realms. They would’ve had to travel into the fae realm—called Faela—first before popping up here, but it wouldn’t have taken them more than a handful of minutes.
I probably could’ve asked them to get my friends and me here without all of the plane hassle. But… I didn’t like asking for favors for things I could take care of myself.
“Which brother?” I finally asked.
“We’ve been sworn to secrecy,” Dad said, sounding faintly amused.
“Ugh. You guys are the worst.”
Pops chuckled. “We love you, Remi. Please be safe.”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Love you,” Dad said.
“Love you guys too. Bye.” They said their goodbyes and hung up, and I turned to my three friends and offered an apologetic smile. “Looks like my crazy family warded the entire floor. You guys okay with that?”
Tan looked at me like I was crazy. “Am I okay with Ailin and Sebastian Ellwood putting protections on my home? Why, no, Remi, of course not. Why would I ever want the strongest witch in the world and the last enchanter to do something like that?” He’d never sounded so sarcastic in his life.
I rolled my eyes, but a small smile curved my lips. “Yeah, yeah. Just… make sure to add your own magics when you get the chance. With all four of us adding to it and keeping it boosted, no one we don’t want will get into our apartments.”
Tan laughed and slapped my shoulder. “Come on. Let’s check our new places out.”
Savelle sent me a smile, and Isa grinned and shoulder-bumped me as the two of them walked past.
Well, at least none of them were angry at my parents’ invasion. I guessed I’d have to deal.
Each of us got our own apartment, so after figuring out which door was whose, we went our separate ways—we’d come back together in thirty minutes to tour each other’s places.
The second the three of them were inside their apartments, I pulled up a video chat on my phone and called three of my older brothers. I had more older siblings than just the three of them, but it was only one of these three who could’ve brought our dads here.
Jorah, who was the closest in age to me but still eighteen years older, answered first, smiling on my screen with a, “Hey, little bro.”
Even though I was annoyed with him, or at least one of my brothers, I still couldn’t help but smile. “Hey, Jor.”
Before he could respond, Thayer answered, saying, “Remi! Hey. How’s Gauhala?”
“Thay. It’s—”
Basil came on last, interrupting me. “Hey, Remi. Good to see you, little wolf.”
I rolled my eyes at the old nickname. I didn’t hate it, but I definitely wasn’t little anymore. In fact, I was bigger than all three of them.
“Good to see you guys.” Before they could distract me from my task, I asked, “Which one of you brought dads here?”
None of them answered, and even though it was ridiculous because they were on a screen and not next to each other, they started exchanging looks. Which told me that all three of them knew exactly what I was talking about. They were connected magically, so they didn’t have many secrets from each other.
“Why the hell didn’t you tell me about this?” I asked.
All three of them said, “We’ve been sworn to secrecy,” at the same time, which was honestly freaky as hell.
“Never do that again.”
They laughed, and Basil said, “Our magic won’t let us tell you. Sorry, man.”
“Real believable, asshat.” I’d been around them and their magic my entire life. I knew it couldn’t do that. There was more snickering, so I stared at them for a few seconds, then asked, “Jorah?”
“Wasn’t me,” he said.
I narrowed my eyes at him, examining him, then turned to the next ass of a brother. “Thayer?”
“Wasn’t me either.”
I examined him, then moved on. “Bas?”
“I didn’t do it.”
My eyes narrowed again, and I sighed. Should’ve known. “Bas, how could you?”
Basil grimaced and groaned. “How do you always do that?”
“Do what?”
“Know when I’m lying.”
I snorted. “I’m good at sniffing out bullshit.”
Thay and Jor were snickering like they were little kids watching their brother get into trouble with their parents.
“You can’t even use your sniffer on me from there.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at him, but then I sobered with a frown. “You should’ve told me.”
“I’m sorry, Remi. I wanted to, but Dad and Pops were being all weird about it, and I felt guilty.”
“You should.”
He nodded.
Jorah asked him, “How did you even get roped into it anyway?”
Bas rolled his eyes. “Dad kept bugging me for like three hours straight, trying to force me to do it and being a complete jerkface. And when I wouldn’t do it, he got Pops involved. Pops was all, like, teary and upset, saying stuff about his baby leaving and being unprotected, and I… couldn’t say no.”
The three of us laughed. That sounded exactly like something the two of them would do to get their way. None of us liked seeing either of them upset, and Pops was a gentle soul, so when he was sad, they could usually make any of us cave and do their bidding. Jerkfaces was right.
“Sounds about right.” I sighed. “Well, next time, just give me a heads up, okay?”
“I will. I’m sorry, little wolf.”
I waved him off. “It’s okay. Talk to you guys later.”
Before I could hang up, Bas said, “Remi?”
“Yeah?”
“You know I love you, right?”
That made warmth gather in my chest. “I know. Love you too.”
The other two got in on the I love yous before we all hung up, and I took a breath before unlocking the door to my new apartment and the new venture of my life.
Chapter 1
Tajj
I bounced Baby Love in my lap, the two of us enjoying the Friday morning entertainment. Her parents bickered playfully, volleying barbs back and forth across the dining room table like a game of tennis. I stuck a crispy, fatty piece of bacon in my mouth and chewed, rubbing my six-month pregnant belly as the always-hilarious Wasilewski Show went on right in front of me.
“I’m still the better salesman,” said my cousin Jeremiah, waggling his head in a sassy way.
His mate Mitch crossed his arms and sat back in his chair, a cocky smirk on his face. “Only because I let you win. I’m a gentlealpha.”
Jeremiah dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “Yeah, right. Excuses, excuses.” Love, who was four months old and enthralled by her parents’ banter, let out a string of amused babble. “That’s right,” Jeremiah said, “you tell ‘em, baby.”
I chuckled because my cousin and his mate, now fiancé, were just so darned cute. The more time I spent around them, the more I enjoyed watching their relationship blossom, even if it started out unconventionally. Even if I hadn’t been at my best when they were figuring everything out. I’m different now, and that’s what counts. Everything’s different now.
Mitch leaned forward, resting his elbows on the polished wood. He pointed a finger at Jeremiah. “If you want me to stop going easy on you, just say the word.”
Jeremiah pursed his lips to keep from laughing. “The word.”
“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”
“Clever enough to be the winner for like, the entire time I’ve known you.”
“We’re gonna cream you this quarter, just you wait.”
I spoke up then, rolling my eyes fondly. “Please don’t say cream in front of the baby. Or me, for that matter.”
“What? It’s just shop talk.” Mitch winked at me.
I laughed out loud then. “No, it isn’t. For you two, it’s foreplay. We’re trying to eat breakfast here.” I gently squeezed Love’s chunky cheeks between my thumb and forefinger and she gave us a big smile. “See? She agrees. Lovey-dovey, we love it. Freaky-deeky, we love it for you, in the privacy of your bedroom.” Mitch and Jeremiah looked at each other for a few seconds, then busted out laughing. Before they became a couple, they were bitter, competitive work rivals. Apparently, there was always some sort of chemistry involved, because here we were.
Jeremiah shook his head, as if he wasn’t sure whether to be amused or embarrassed. “I hate to admit it, but I think you’re right, cuz.”
“I guess it has been for a long time,” Mitch agreed. He bounced his eyebrows at my cousin. “Babe, talk salesy to me.”
“As a team, our sales are up twelve percent over the time before we joined forces.” Jeremiah shrugged one shoulder, as if to say, “it was nothin’.”
Mitch shivered playfully. “Ooh. Tell me more.”
“I got word that we just booked 3M as a client. A nice, fat contract with a nice, fat bonus.”
“What’re you trying to do here, drop a man to his knees?”
“Maybe.”
I playfully covered Love’s ears, telling her, “Oh, boy, here we go with your dads and their appetites.” Love cooed in response.
Mitch got up from his chair, rounded the table, and leaned over Jeremiah, nose-to-nose, lips almost touching. “What else?”
“I don’t know for sure, not yet,” Jeremiah whispered like they were in their bedroom, “but I heard that 3M is gonna up the initial order by fifty percent.”
Mitch’s eyes widened. “Fifty per...? Hun, you’re a frickin’ genius.” He leaned down to catch Jeremiah’s mouth in a kiss, but stopped when they remembered we were still in the room.
I took one of Love’s little hands and waved it at them. “Hi, dads. We’re still here.” Love giggled.
Jeremiah cleared his throat. “Tajj, would you...?”
I smiled and nodded, poking my belly out in front of me as I pushed myself up from my chair. “I got her. I think we’ll leave the house and save us both the trauma.” I was happy for them, of course I was. It was just hard to see, especially when my wife and I had never been in love like that.
Mitch angled his head toward me. “Do you need to grab anything while you’re out?” That was code for “do you need some money?” I was grateful, not just for the money and support but for them being gentle about it. My pride, however, took a blow every time it came up.
I gave him a little smile. “I think I’m good, but thanks, Mitch. Me and my baby are due for a trip to the zoo. Ain’t that right, Lovey?” I bounced her a little and she blinked at me with her loving eyes.
“You just let us know, alright?” Jeremiah added, as Mitch took his hand to lead him toward their bedroom.
“I sure will,” I called after them, right before they disappeared in their room and closed the door with a click of the latch.
“The good news is, your parents are crazy about each other,” I told Love with a laugh. A muffled moan reached my ears through their door. “The bad news is, if we’re not careful, we have to hear about it. Ready, little one? Or should I say, little ones?” I rubbed my belly again. I was short, so it already stuck out much farther than other omegas in the same stage of pregnancy. My baby moved a little, poking out what might have been a foot near my navel. “Glad you’re excited, too,” I whispered, amazed that I had a little human growing inside me.
“Let’s get ready to go, huh?” I said to Love as I carried her back to my room.
Ever since my alpha wife of more than a decade randomly decided, out of the blue, that she was done with me, I’d been living in Jeremiah’s guest room. After living the high life with Karina for so long, to say it was humbling was an understatement.
I scooted over a stack of neatly-folded hand-me-down newborn clothes that Jeremiah and Mitch had given me for when my own baby arrived. So far, they’d been the ones to care for me during my pregnancy when the mother of my child couldn’t seem to care less. It made me even more ashamed of my jealous and shallow behavior from a few months ago.
I laid Love on the blue bedspread, dotted with moons and stars, and rubbed my belly. My whole body somehow seemed hollow, empty without my alpha here to care for me.
“Nope. Not my alpha anymore. Not our alpha. Looks like it’s time to crown myself the ‘strong independent omega who don’t need no alpha.’ We’ll be alright, little one.” The baby moved around, unsettled, as if they didn’t believe me. “It’s okay,” I whispered. “I don’t believe myself sometimes. I promise you, though, even though it feels like it, we’re not gonna fall apart without an alpha. We don’t need one.” As I said that, my heart called out for someone special. The alpha who really was who I tried to make my wife into for most of my adult life. Someone to swoop in and love and care for me and my child. I let my chin drop to my chest. Fantasies, nothing but fantasies.
I turned my attention back to Love, who spent the interlude looking up at the white ceiling and over to the blue walls like she was watching a blockbuster movie. I put a little t-shirt on her, pink with red hearts, and a little red tutu up over her kicking legs. I added a few things to her baby bag, which I usually kept already packed for our day trips and running errands. I was her live-in nanny right now, and as difficult as it was to accept my current predicament, I was safe, I had family to care for me, and I had everything I needed. Plus, Love was the epitome of her name, an angel of a baby.
I gave her a smacking kiss on the cheek. The sound and sensation made her laugh. “Let’s go have a fun day, just the three of us, huh?” My own child wriggled, seeming enthusiastic about our little adventure.
The zoo was lots of fun. Maybe even more for me than for Love. Her four-month-old eyes were just at the point where she could see clearly and focus on things, so she stared wide-eyed and enraptured at the monkeys flying through the branches in their enclosure, the kangaroos bouncing across the grass in theirs, and the galloping zebras especially held her attention.
“See all those pretty stripes?” I said to her as she stared at the zebras, her mouth wide open and drool running down her chin and onto her collar. “Wow, we don’t know where one zebra ends and where another begins, do we?” Love flapped her arms and made a little whooping noise. “I wonder if you can smell them as well as you can see them now. They’re kinda funky. PU.” Love flapped her arms some more.
I had her out of her stroller, holding her against my chest with one arm, sitting on top of my belly. It was a challenge for me to reach into my pocket for my phone, but I was happy to record her response to send to Jeremiah and Mitch for later, and to keep for myself.
I took a selfie of the two of us, me smiling into the camera, Love staring open-mouthed at the zebras. I nuzzled my nose into her dark, silky baby curls, inhaling her sweet scent. “You’re such a precious baby. I hope mine is just like you.”
I stopped in the gift shop, where I bought Love a tiny koala plushy, which she immediately clung to. The dangling keychains caught my eye. One had a cute little giraffe, and it made me think of when Jeremiah and I were kids. His favorite animal was a giraffe. I bought it for him and asked the lady at the counter to wrap it nicely in a little bit of tissue paper. After rolling to a few more enclosures plus a seal show, Love was getting fussy and I needed to sit down.
“Oh!” I groaned as I lowered myself onto a bench in the shade of a big, mature, tree. “Can you believe I’m gonna get bigger than this? Can you believe I still have like fourteen weeks to go?” Love wasn’t trying to hear it. She was full-on crying now. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Let me fix it right now,” I cooed. “Is my favorite girl hungry?” I dug into the baby bag, sitting under the stroller’s carriage, for everything I needed to make Love a bottle. I pulled out the powdered formula and set it down next to me. When I went for my water bottle, though, my belly got in the way. As I reached for it, it fell and rolled a few feet away. “Damn it.” Now I had a crying baby and a runaway Hydroflask. Before I could figure out how to get myself standing to go after it, an omega woman with a kind face reached down and picked it up for me.
“Oh, thank you so much. You’re a lifesaver. So many lives,” I joked, pointing at Love, myself, and my belly.
“Happy to help,” the woman replied, smiling with a tilt to her head. “Can I grab her for you?”
“Sure. She loves new people, but she might not be her usual outgoing self because she’s starving.”
“No problem, I have three of my own so I know how that goes. Everybody’s on their bad side until they're fed.” She sweet-talked Love a little as I washed my hands with some of the water from the bottle, and while Love didn’t settle completely, she seemed to feel better with somebody to complain to. The woman nodded toward my tummy. “Congratulations, by the way!”
“Thank you so much.” I returned her sweet smile, patting my belly before scooping formula into Love’s bottle. “Fourteen weeks to go, give or take.”
“You and your alpha must have quite the spark, to have one so young and another already on the way.”
“I, uh,” I dropped my eyes to my belly, rounded with Karina’s baby. They then skipped to my left hand, where my ring still glittered. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to take it off. Unlike the promises my wife made to me, it hadn’t faded. I tried for a bashful laugh. “What can I say?”
The woman waved a hand, her grin devilish. I guess I gave her the answer she wanted. “You don’t have to say anything at all.”
Other families flowed by us, some giving me empathetic looks at Love’s obvious distress, their own children yelling and skipping and some of them crying. The nice lady cradled her while I finished preparing the bottle, pretending to be super focused on it so I could avoid her eye while she asked me questions that I didn’t have good answers to.
“How long have the two of you been married?” She handed Love over to me, and when I put the nipple in Love’s mouth she immediately started sucking noisily, looking up at me with tear-stained but forgiving eyes.
“Right out of college,” I said, even though it didn’t seem like it was me talking, only someone else using my voice.
“You waited a while to have them, now you decided to have them back to back?” She joked.
“We were career-focused.” Money-focused was more like it. “We weren’t even sure if we wanted kids, you know?” That was the truth. We were so focused on being high-rollers that we’d never discussed whether or not we wanted kids. It always seemed like a conversation for later. We did have a lot of fun, and I was glad we did before bringing any children into the world. Now...
“Now you’ve got a beauty and another on the way.”
“Looks that way, huh?” I said, just barely keeping the smile on my face. It helped when I looked down at Love, her face back to being sweet, her eyes drifting slightly closed with the satisfaction of a good meal.
“Make sure you hold on to that love. It’s rare, you know. It’s special.”
“I will,” I lied. I tried. I tried to hold on to it. Maybe it was never that special. Maybe I was never that special.
The woman gave Love’s cheek one last brush of her fingers. “You’re doing a great job, Dad.” That almost had me crumbling in the middle of the zoo right in front of the giraffes and the entire world to see.
“Thank you,” I said in a whisper. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel that way.”
“Parenthood is always gonna be tough, but you’re loving them and doing what’s best for them. That’s what good parents do.” She patted my shoulder, then gave me a little wave. “It was nice meeting all of you.”
“Bye.” I lifted a hand to wave back as she blended into the fast-moving crowd. I dropped my chin to my chest, blinking rapidly. No crying in public, Tajj. I rocked Love as she slurped down her bottle.
“Not too fast, Lovey. We don’t want you spitting up all over the place, right?” Her eyes had drifted shut as she lazily gave a few more half-hearted sucks at the bottle. I held her upright against my chest and patted her back, getting a little burp out of her. “You’re getting so big I almost don’t need to do that anymore.”
Love fussed a little, cranky that I interrupted her oncoming nap to burp her, so I gave her a pacifier. She drifted off to sleep and suddenly, I wanted to do the same. I felt drained physically, but also emotionally. On top of that, my stomach had the nerve to growl.
I rubbed my tummy where my baby moved back and forth a little. “Okay, precious, let’s get the two of us fed, too.” There was a food court about a quarter-mile away, roughly. “Damn, that seems so far.” I must have overestimated my energy levels, because my feet were tired and starting to swell. The sun, which had seemed so beautiful and warm earlier in the day, now felt oppressive.
“The good news is,” I said as I hefted myself up with a groan, “it’s on the way to the parking lot. I grab something to eat, then we say adios.” Love slept on as I maneuvered her stroller through the throngs of people, the fresh sweet scent of their mini-donuts driving me crazy with cravings. I stopped at the first mini-donut booth I came across and bought a whole bucket, gnawing on the cinnamon-y, sugary, doughy goodness, moaning with pleasure as I went along my way. It was only the start, though. I had every intention of devouring a mini-smorgasbord and then sleeping it off at home.
The crowd was thick at the food court, lots of bodies pressing in making it hotter, assaulting my senses with their scents, overlaid with perfume and sometimes BO. Since I was short it was always hard to see, which was disorienting. People didn’t seem to care that I had a baby in a stroller, but my pregnant belly helped a little bit and bought me some room.
I took a step and stumbled a little, my sandals catching on the uneven concrete pavement, my head woozy and my stomach roiling with the beginnings of nausea. I caught myself on the handle of the stroller. I wish there was someone here I could lean on, literally and figuratively. Karina should be here with me, damn it. She should be telling me to have a seat and get off my feet while she handles this. That’s what good alphas do. I pressed my lips together and moved forward. I don’t need her. I don’t need any alpha at all.
I stepped into line at a pizza counter, thinking about how those donuts weren’t cheap. I usually put off asking my cousin and his fiancé for money as long as possible, because it filled me with so much regret and shame. I’d gone a few days longer than usual, and I needed to check my financial situation.
I held one foot up off the ground then the other, trying to give them some relief from all the walking. It really would be nice if I had someone to bring the food to me so I could rest. A strong, reliable, faithful alpha to take care of me. The right alpha. My alpha. My heart ached at the thought. As if my feet weren’t hurting enough. There was no such person as “my alpha” anyway.
I pushed that thought out of my head as I wrestled my phone out of my pocket again and pulled up my bank account balance.
My jaw dropped. “It can’t be.” Two dollars and fifty-seven cents. When did my balance get so low? That wasn’t even enough to buy a hot dog on a stick. The donuts and gifts weren’t cheap, but they shouldn’t have wiped me out completely. The hollowness, the emptiness I’d been feeling for so long returned.
Turned out, I did need some money. “I’ve been putting off asking for way too long, but I shouldn’t have to ask,” I hissed to myself. “I have money, and I worked hard for it!” Another wave of dizziness hit me. I needed to sit down right now.
“Excuse me,” I said to the people around me in the line. “Excuse me, thank you.” It took a lot of “excuse me’s” to maneuver the stroller out of the line and past the people in the burger line right next to me. The sea slowly parted and I passed through. The people weren’t rude, exactly, but they weren’t in a hurry to let me through.
I finally made it out, and dropped heavily onto the nearest chair at a table with a half-eaten portion of lo mein that did nothing for my nausea. I don’t need anybody. I don’t need Karina, and I certainly don’t need any other alpha. I can handle this. The more I told myself that, the less I believed it. Situations like this seemed small, but in the grand scheme of things they were big, because I was so vulnerable right now. Not only that, but I wondered what it would be like to have someone really love me. Snap out of it, Tajj.
I squeezed my eyes shut before I thumbed down to Jeremiah’s contact number and tapped the little green phone button. He answered after a few rings, his camera on and aimed at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was in his office, his fingers flying over his keyboard, making tons of money that he selflessly shared with me and my child.
“Hey cousin, what’s up?”
I cleared my throat. “Know how y’all asked me earlier if I needed anything?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I said no, but it turns out I was wrong.”
Jeremiah stopped typing and looked at the phone. “What happened?”
“Tried to buy some lunch. Didn’t have enough.”
Jeremiah cursed. “Y’all still at the zoo?”
“Yeah. Love’s fed, she’s knocked out. We’re not, though, and I’m starving. I was able to get some mini donuts and that was it.” I tried for a joking smile. My empty gut clenched having to explain to my cousin that I was too destitute to feed myself and my unborn child.
Jeremiah stroked his chin, thinking. “Okay, I can send you a quick payment through a cash app. Or...” he lifted a finger. “Check the left front pocket of Love’s baby bag. In the little card flap.” I dug in there, pulling out what looked like a silver credit card attached to a little piece of paperboard that said “Visa” on it. “We put a Visa gift card in there for emergencies. It has a hundred dollars on it. Did you find it?”
“Yeah,” I whispered, my voice choked up. “Thanks, y’all think of everything.”
“Well, you take such good care of our baby girl.” And we know how much you need it, were the unspoken words. “Go crazy and get yourself full, then come home and lie down. Me and Mitch have a few things to finish up, then we’ll be home early and we’ll take Love. I can’t wait to get this weekend started.” He cracked his knuckles. “I’m gonna knock this report out and I’ll catch you at home. Go eat and rest, okay?” I just nodded. I couldn’t seem to get any words out.
After we clicked off, I just dropped my head into my hands. I was out of energy, and done with trying to look like I wasn’t falling apart. There were no more nice ladies to come help me. I got a few pity looks, but it was more than I could bear so I got back to my swollen, painful feet and wheeled Love right outta there.
She slept the whole way home, only waking up when we got back, crying soon after. I changed her diaper and laid her down on the bed next to me, now calm and sweet as ever. I propped myself up on one elbow, making a zoom noise as I drew my finger up from her belly button to her nose. She thought it was hilarious, laughing and showing her little pink gums.
I pulled out my phone, checking all of my pre-divorce accounts for what must have been the millionth time. Everything was still blocked. My joint account with Karina, my personal 401k from the position I held at her family’s paper company for over a decade, our joint IRAs, our investment accounts, even my HSA, which I could damn sure have used with my insane prenatal medical expenses.
“Karina, that low-down, good-for-nothing... Won’t even give me access to my own accounts. Who does she think she is? It’s my money. Sure, she had a lot when we got married, had it coming out of her ears. Nepotism at it finest. Sure, I liked having that money. I liked that she had lots of it. I liked earning it, and I liked spending it. I earned some of it, though. I earned my keep.” I poked myself in the chest for emphasis. “If I had my money, we’d be doing just fine.” I rubbed my tummy, my shirt riding up to expose a sliver of skin underneath. “Why is she keeping it from me?”
Love listened with big, wide eyes and both her fists stuffed in her mouth, covered with drool. “You’re such a good listener, yes, you are!” I tickled her tummy and she giggled. “No more burdening you with my grownup problems, no, no, no. You’re too cute for that, too precious, huh?” Love let out a happy little shriek that cut straight to my heart. “I hope my little one is just like you. I can’t wait to watch you grow up together, just like me and Juju. I hope y’all will stay close, though. Don’t do what I did.” Love cooed as if in agreement, clutching her koala against her chest. I spread a hand on her fat little belly and gently rolled her back and forth a little. “Y’know, baby, as much as I hate the situation with my ex, I can’t say I don’t deserve it. I was riding high on a hog, living a lie. It was all bound to come crashing down. Now I get to be here with you. I’ve made amends with your dads, we’re all closer than ever, and I’m happier than I’ve been in a looooooong time.” That was the honest truth. Besides getting done with this divorce, the only things that would make it better were to meet my brand-new baby for the first time and...to find a special alpha to love in the way that Karina and I never had. At least I would get one of those things for sure, and it was the one that mattered most.
As if they heard me, my baby kicked and poked what I thought was a hand up near the top of my belly. I laid a fingertip against the teensy bulge, holding hands with my pride and joy.
“No matter what, we’re gonna be alright. Just you and me, all by ourselves.” Not forever, a little voice whispered. Someone’s coming. I laid down with my face close to Love’s, mine on a moon and hers on a star, just enjoying her angelic company. I fell asleep dreaming about an alpha knight in shining armor, coming to rescue me.
I didn’t wish to cause the man or his lion issues, and my own beast wanted to growl back and put the lion in his place. So I thought it best that I move on. After all, I was the outsider, not Brice.
But a day hadn’t gone by that I didn’t think about Brice. About his smiles and how they made me feel. None of it made any sense to me.
“When did you first meet him?”
I quickly put my phone facedown and glanced at the alpha I was still getting to know. Alpha Justin was a new father, so the fact he was here at the council building was a surprise. He should be home with his mate and precious little girl.
“What are you doing here?” I asked instead of answering. Justin rolled his eyes at me.
“Matteo has kicked me out of the house for the morning. Alexander has come up from Timber Valley to gush over the baby, and my mate and daughter are perfectly safe and happy at home. I came in because Lucius had a few questions. I found you instead.” Justin sat down across from me, then crossed his arms in front of his massive chest. “You didn’t answer my question. When did you first meet Brice?”
I cleared my throat. “A long time ago. Just over ten years now.” I glanced out the window at the landscape. It seemed that the dining hall in the council building was always busy. I didn’t understand that, but then again, everyone was on different schedules.
“Ten years is a long time to know about your mate and yet be without them.”
“Brice isn’t my mate,” I said back.
“No? You sure about that? It seems to me that everything I’ve heard about your situation says differently.”
I glared at Justin. “Weren’t you looking for Lucius?”
“Yes. He’s in a meeting that I’m not willing to disturb. Therefore, I’m waiting.”
I knew of that meeting. They were discussing going back to New Orleans. I couldn’t understand why it was every time I’d been there, I scented Brice. Had my mind finally gone?
I glanced at my phone. “The meeting should be ending soon.” I stood, picking up my empty coffee cup. Unfortunately, Justin stood with me.
“Well then, I guess we’ll be going back to the office together, then.”
I would not growl at the alpha. I would not growl at the alpha. If I kept telling myself that, it would work, correct? I didn’t dislike Alpha Justin. Not really. He was new, and I simply wasn’t used to him. I knew he’d been dealing with our current major foe for quite some time and that his intel on not only Orson and Mervin but the area was needed.
“You don’t like me much, do you?” Justin asked as we left the dining hall.
I was surprised by his forwardness, but I shouldn’t have been. “I don’t know you very well, Alpha Justin. You have not been with Master Ambrosius very long.”
“Just Justin. I no longer have a pack to speak of, really.”
I glanced his way and raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you saying that if you contacted them all tomorrow and said to come back home to New Orleans, they wouldn’t?”
Justin seemed to think about that for a moment before he shook his head. “They’ve moved on. They are off doing their own thing now. It happens from time to time. And we weren’t exactly a conventional pack now, were we?”
I didn’t believe that for a moment. For a very long time, this man’s men followed him into situations that some would consider impossible. Yet he didn’t think they’d come back to him if he asked?
“I think you underestimate yourself and your abilities as a pack alpha, Justin. You and Matteo might be a new alpha pair, but together, you have the respect and makings of a strong couple.”
Justin grinned but didn’t get a chance to respond because we’d reached the offices, and Master Ambrosius and Lucius were there waiting. I wondered how I’d mistimed the end of the meeting, but Lucius quickly answered my questions.
“Master, you cannot just tell Alpha Dane off in a meeting just because you don’t happen to like the man.” Lucius glanced our way. “Even if he more than deserved it.”
I wanted to groan, but Justin beat me to it.
“What was it this time?”
“He’s still in a snit that you are working on my committee instead of his.”
I snorted. I’d heard about how Alpha Dane had been hesitant to bring on Justin and how he’d gone as far as suggesting that Justin had even stolen his own identity and wasn’t actually who he claimed to be. We all had. And Justin had been offered positions on both Master Ambrosius’s as well as Master Edison’s committees.
“He had a chance to bring me on to his committee if he wanted me.”
Master Ambrosius grinned, and it wasn’t a nice one. “Yes, he did. And now he’s kicking himself because although he and Victoria had spent decades traveling as a pack to deal with unethical packs and such, he had a chance to have an alpha on his committee that had done something similar, and he let his own pride get in the way. Others have questioned why you’re with us and not him, and it makes him look bad when he has to answer them truthfully.”
I had met Alpha Dane a time or two, and he’d always been incredibly quiet, much like myself. But I hadn’t known everything that had transpired surrounding Justin’s joining Master Ambrosius’s committee.
“I don’t know what I can do about that. He made it more than clear he didn’t trust me. I wasn’t going to subject myself, or my mate, to that,” Justin said.
“Nor should you have. There is nothing you can do. Just be prepared for Dane to try to engage you in conversation. It looks bad, for him, that you aren’t on his committee,” Master Ambrosius said.
Justin groaned, and Lucius laughed. I hid my smirk but not fast enough. Master Ambrosius winked at me and stood from where he’d been leaning against the desk.
“And now, my bodyguard and I are going home. Have fun, you two. I’ll see you later this evening.” Master Ambrosius started toward me but stopped. “One more thing, Justin.”
Justin gave Master Ambrosius his full attention. “Yes, sir?”
“Be sure to not work late. You need to be home with your mate and that precious little princess of yours.”
That brought a smile to Justin’s face. Not that I blamed him. I’d met Matteo several times and had even gotten to meet Cosette. She was a cutie but incredibly tiny. Then again, Matteo wasn’t exactly large in stature.
I followed Master Ambrosius out of the office, walking next to him, my eyes constantly scanning the area. We were in the council building, and it should be completely safe, but I wasn’t going to take any chances. I took my job seriously, and until I delivered Master Ambrosius to his beloved in the house, I was on duty. Even then, I didn’t leave the house except to patrol around the area. We’d still not found whatever had been on the mountain with Giovanni while he’d been pregnant.
“It’s a lovely day, isn’t it?” Master Ambrosius said once we had exited the council building.
The sun was shining, the temperature was warm but not unbearably hot, and there was a very light breeze. I had to agree, the weather was nice.
“The weather certainly is. I’m not so sure about the entire day though, sir.”
We started along the path, and I was happy that gravel had finally been put down. At least when it rained, the trail wouldn’t be muddy.
“What is it that you don’t find lovely about today, Atticus? Do you need to go for a run? Or perhaps you wish to return to New Orleans? I know Edison will be going down there again soon. Do you desire to accompany him?”
“No, sir. I hadn’t known Master Edison would be returning to New Orleans. My place is with you, sir.”
Master Ambrosius snorted. “Do you really want to be a babysitter? Honestly? Is this what you expected when you signed up to be a council enforcer?”
My arm shot out, pulling Master Ambrosius behind me when I heard noise off to our right. We were certainly at a disadvantage as we were upwind of whatever was off the path. It wasn’t attempting to be quiet though, so I assumed it wasn’t trying to sneak up and attack us. When a wolf came out of the bushes, I relaxed and sent the enforcer a glare. He bowed his head, then hurried off to the building.
I let go of Master Ambrosius, and he rejoined me on our walk to the house.
“That was exciting.”
I gave Master Ambrosius an unimpressed look. “I’m not sure who it was, but I’d like to know why he was over here, shifted.”
We heard noise behind us, and I turned in time to see several others come out of the trees and head off to the council building.
“Apparently they’re shifting and patrolling the mountain?” Master Ambrosius looked at me. “Is that new?”
I shrugged. Once the last enforcer was out of sight, we continued on to the house.
“Why weren’t you asked to join them?”
“Because I’m your bodyguard, not an enforcer on delegation duty.” The house came into view, and a glance skyward showed exactly what I expected. Either Ferdinand or Aleric was in the sky, circling around the house. I hadn’t been able to differentiate between them as of yet when they were shifted and in the air. On the ground, certainly, but not up there.
Master Ambrosius sighed. “I wonder which one it is and why this time.”
It wasn’t Reinhold. He was at the council building. He’d moved out of the house and was now on delegation duty. I knew he was looking forward to getting an assignment. We all felt the same. We wanted to make a difference, me included. It was one of the reasons why I’d chosen to go into law enforcement so long ago.
We approached the house, and after I punched in the code, the door clicked and I opened it. The interior was cooler, and I stood by as Master Ambrosius walked to his elevator.
“Emmerich is upstairs. Konrad and Egon are watching the kids while he works. I’m going to go see if I can’t bug him for a bit. I’ll see you at supper?”
“Yes, sir. Enjoy your time with your family.”
The look on Master Ambrosius’s face wasn’t one I’d consider innocent. I was going to ask if there was anything else, but the door closed, and I heard the elevator car immediately leave the ground floor. I checked the front door, then went around to the back door, and after ensuring it too was secure, I went to the security room and sat down.
I rubbed my eyes, and after they’d adjusted to the dimmer lighting, I focused on the screens in front of me. I often spent a good portion of my time here when Master Ambrosius was in residence. I had a private room in the back of the house, but it was small and had very few personal things in it. I had a house off the mountain, and I could always choose to live in enforcer housing, but I didn’t want to live in a building with a bunch of other shifters. Been there, done that. No, thank you.
There was nothing going on in or around the house, and when a sensor alerted me to movement, I watched as two large dragons landed on the balcony and shifted. They quickly pulled on pants before they entered the third floor through the balcony door. The system showed the door locked and secured shortly after, and I knew that everyone was now inside.
I got up and went to the kitchen to get something to drink. After I poured myself a glass of water and drank it, I refilled it and went back to the security room. I didn’t have a whole lot to do, but I would do what I could to ensure Master Ambrosius was safe.
It was ironic that he had a bodyguard still. He was safer than any other on the mountain. Except maybe Master Edison, and he didn’t live on the mountain. He still lived in his cabin in Honey Creek, near his three youngest children and their mates and children.
Thinking about Honey Creek brought up memories of Brice. It didn’t take much for thoughts of him to pop into my mind. I pulled out my phone and opened the picture app. I had a folder that was nothing but Brice in various places, mostly at work.
Thinking about Brice now, I realized the signs all fit. There was no denying that Brice was an attractive man. He was my complete opposite. Where I had dark hair and eyes, Brice had blond hair and blue eyes. But it was more than that. From the very beginning, there was something—I wasn’t sure what—that drew me to the man. But my kind didn’t have mates.
I’d heard Brice talking to Alpha War about me and how his lion claimed we were mates. How they both thought I was a human and it could be difficult to broach the subject with me if I didn’t show interest. Apparently, I’d done a good job at hiding my attraction to the man because I’d worked two years side by side with him, and he never once mentioned anything to me.
It was when Brice’s smile instantly fell when he saw me that I decided it was time to move on. I had enjoyed the slower pace of working in Honey Creek, but I’d not been able to let them know about my other side. My beast had been pissed when I turned in my notice and stopped going to work. It was only a quick trip to Brice’s house at night that he finally calmed, leaving me to believe I’d made a mistake.
Instead of staying and trying to figure things out with the man, I’d left the area in search of others like me. I knew there were a few of us, but I’d not seen any since I’d been banished. I was certain there were more at this point; our lord and master had a purely evil streak and loved to punish those that didn’t share his twisted views.
I tossed my phone on the desk and laid my head down beside it. It did no good. It didn’t matter that I now knew that what I felt was a mate pull. That for whatever reason, when I’d been banished from my realm, I’d somehow been gifted what shifters were: a perfect fated mate.
That had been a decade ago. Over, actually.
I sat up before I stood. I took two steps before I returned to my seat and stared at the monitors. The screens showed exactly what I’d expected—nothing. There was nothing going on outside of the house.
It was well-known that Master Ambrosius lived here and that his beloved was a dragon alpha. And with that dragon alpha came a set of parents and grandparents. Anyone would have to be out of their mind to even consider taking on five full-grown dragons. Even the omegas were something to be feared. I’d seen Konrad and Egon in their shifted forms. Only a warlock or a larger alpha could take them down. Which meant the house was almost always quiet and was certainly secure.
The desk phone rang, drawing my attention, and I welcomed the distraction from my own boredom.
“Atticus speaking.”
“Good. Just the person I wanted to talk to.”
“Master Edison?” I couldn’t understand why he’d wish to talk to me, but I wasn’t going to deny the man.
“Yes, sorry. There is a situation I need to discuss with you. Would you mind coming up to Ambrose’s floor?”
“Not at all. I’ll be right there.”
“Very good. See you in a few.”
I replaced the phone and stood. I pocketed my own cell phone, and then after a quick glance at the monitors, I left the security room. I pulled the door shut behind me, then walked back to the front of the house. I pushed the button on the right elevator, and when it arrived on the ground floor, I entered and pushed the top button on the wall. I waited there, knowing the ride would only be a few seconds.
When it opened on Master Ambrosius’s floor, immediately I knew there was something seriously wrong. Not only was Master Edison there with Master Ambrosius and Emmerich, but Lucius and Reinhold as well.
“Master Edison? You wished to speak to me?”
“Yes. I’m afraid we need your help, and we think you are the best chance we have of finding him.”
I glanced at the others, wondering just who “him” was. I had a gut feeling I wasn’t going to like what I was about to hear.
“Atticus, would you come sit? It might be best,” Master Ambrosius said, holding out his arm toward the back of the house. I nodded, then followed. I noticed Reinhold fell into step beside me and wondered if he was here to see his family or if this was a work assignment. If the latter, how did it involve me?
“I’ll just get right to it,” Master Edison said once we were all sitting on the plush couches that were in front of the balcony.
“That sometimes is for the best. How can I be of assistance? Who do you need me to find?”
“Brice,” Master Edison said. My beast roared in my head. Our mate was missing.
