Camden—my best omega friend—laughed from where he sat on the other side of his blue couch. “Tell me something I don’t already know, Captain Obvious.”
“Seriously! How dense can two men be?” I grumbled, leaning against the armrest and staring up at the ceiling.
“What did they do this time?” He paused. “Or, more accurately, how did they completely miss whatever ‘fuck me’ signal you were sending up?”
I let out a frustrated noise, sat up, and ran a hand through my shoulder-length brown hair. “So you know those new skinny jeans I got? The ones that make my ass look divine?”
“The ones that I said made me want to fuck you, even though I’m a strict bottom?”
I pointed at him. “Exactly. Well… since the weather was so nice yesterday, and I didn’t have any parties scheduled, I convinced Austin and Declan to go mini-golfing with me. And I wore those jeans.”
“I assume you made sure you played first so they had a good view of your ass—especially when you needed to retrieve your ball?”
“Of course.”
“And?”
I whined and scrubbed both hands down my face. “They were sporting pretty obvious semis only a few holes in. We’d barely reached the halfway point when they began actively avoiding looking at me.”
Camden guffawed. “That sounds about right. You go out of your way to get their attention, and they go the respectful route instead.”
I flipped him off. “On one hand, it’s adorable how hard they try to hide it. But I can’t help but think they’re trying so hard to keep me from noticing their interest, that there’s no brain power left to identify all the hints I’m sending their way.”
Camden shook his head. “I don’t know who they think they’re fooling. I’m convinced that the only reason nobody has said something is because they try so hard.”
I threw my hands up. “Right‽ I mean…” I sat forward. “So Austin’s mama’s birthday was last month, and since we all grew up together I was invited to the party. At one point his mama—his mama—pulled me aside to apologize for her son being a dumbass.”
He burst into laughter. “She didn’t!”
“She did! I couldn’t believe it. She offered to talk to him, but I told her it was probably better if he figured it out himself.”
He snickered. “High hopes there.”
I sighed. “I know.”
I slumped back against the couch cushions.
“Do you think they’ll figure it out on their own?”
“I used to think so, but I don’t know anymore.”
“Ever thought about moving on and finding an alpha who’s not afraid to admit that he likes you? I mean… we’re only a few years out from thirty, and if you’re ready to settle down…”
I thought about my men: Declan with his strong build, black hair, and gray eyes; and Austin with his blond hair, blue eyes, and athletic frame. A shiver of desire ran up my back, and I sighed. “Several times, and then I promptly stop thinking about it. Declan and Austin may be dumbasses, but they’re my dumbasses. The few times I’ve dated other alphas, it felt wrong.”
“So what? You’re just going to be stuck in limbo until they pull their heads out of their asses long enough to realize that you’re waiting for them? How is that fair to you?”
“It’s not as if I have a better plan.”
Camden huffed. “When’s your next heat?”
I blinked. “Should be between Christmas and New Year’s. Why?”
“Perfect! We’re going to get them to fuck you for Christmas!”
“Wait… What?”
He leaned forward. “We’re going to get you some much-deserved Christmas nookie.”
“And how do you propose to do that?” I asked. “It’s not as if I haven’t been trying to get them to figure it out.”
“Remember who you’re talking to,” he chuckled. “I love dick, and I’m good at getting it. If there’s a way, I’ll help you find it.”
“Putting your manwhore powers to good use?” I teased.
“Just like you turned your proclivity for pranks into a career as a party magician.”
I laughed. “Touché.”
He paused. “I take it you still don’t want to be direct? Because, to be honest, dragging them to the bedroom, tearing off your clothes, and ordering them to take turns would probably be your best option.”
I shook my head. “Nice thought, sexy even. But… It’s something they’ve always been weird about.”
“Weird how?”
“Like if we’re watching movies, and the omega makes the first move, they say things like the alpha should have been more confident. Shit like that.”
He started laughing again. “Seems kinda ironic. They want the alpha to make the first move, but neither makes a move on you.”
I sighed. “I think they’re scared that it would have to be only one of them. We’ve been a trio since we were little, and nobody wants to suddenly become the third wheel. If they don’t ask, then they don’t have to face that possibility.”
“So they disregard their—and your—desires… to keep the status quo?”
I shrugged. “They’re alphas. They think with their knots.”
“You can say that again…” He shook his head. “Lemme recap. You don’t want to be direct and just drag them to the bedroom because they think alphas need to make the first move. So you’ve been dropping other hints that they’ve either missed or ignored. Does that sound right?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
“Ok… what have you tried?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “I got a t-shirt a few months back that read ‘Fuck Me!’ in big letters across the chest. I wore it when I was just spending the day gaming with them.”
One of Camden’s eyebrows went up. “That seems pretty direct to me.”
I rolled my eyes. “They both asked if I was ok and what had gone so wrong that I needed a shirt like that. No innuendo, no teasing. Just wondering what had made me want to say that.”
“Oh my God! Are you serious?” he asked, bursting into laughter.
“I wish I was joking. There’s not many occasions that call for a shirt like that.”
“Definitely not.” He paused. “What else?”
I scratched my beard. “I moved my bed against one of the shared walls right before a heat last year. I’d hoped that they’d hear me fucking my knotting dildo and offer something better instead.”
“That was when they started fucking each other, wasn’t it?”
I sighed. “Yeah… I mean I don’t mind them fucking each other. It works out better for me because then I’ll also get a show once I’m fucked out. Plus nobody gets jealous. But it was an unintended consequence.”
“Are they still trying to hide the fact that they’re fucking each other?”
I nodded. “Yep. But, once again, they really kind of suck at it. I mean I’d know just because the walls are paper thin, and Austin moans pretty loud. Everybody knows though, and are keeping quiet because they see Austin and Declan are trying to be sneaky about it.”
“I don’t understand why they want to hide it. It’s not as if anybody important to them cares.”
I shrugged. “Who knows…”
Camden leaned back against the couch cushion. “Neither of those tactics were exactly subtle. Have you tried being extra flirty?”
I snickered. “What do you think? It always ends up the same—with them running off to deal with their boners, or trying to ignore my efforts.”
Camden facepalmed. “Are you sure you want those two?”
I chuckled sarcastically. “Unfortunately.”
“Ok…” he turned and grabbed a pen and paper from the end table. “You don’t want to be direct yet, and everything else backfires in weird ways. This isn’t going to be easy.”
“You can say that again.”
Camden scribbled something at the top of the page. “Luckily for you, I’m here. Now, let’s figure it out and put Operation Christmas Cock into action.”
“Operation Christmas Cock?” I wheezed.
He grinned. “Operation Christmas Cock.”
