Friday, August 5, 2022

πŸ“˜πŸŽ₯Friday's Film AdaptationπŸŽ₯πŸ“˜: Mum's the Word by Kate Collins



Summary:

Abby Knight is the proud owner of her hometown flower shop, but a new low-cost competitor is killing her profits-and a black SUV just rammed her vintage Corvette in a hit-and-run. She's determined to track down the driver, but when the trail turns deadly, the next flower arrangement might be for her own funeral.





Chapter One
Most people hate Mondays. Not me. I see them as portals to untold prospects, gateways to golden opportunities, pristine canvases awaiting bold splashes of color. And this particular Monday seemed to epitomize all that was good about them. Robins warbled merrily in the maples along Franklin Street, a warm June sun glinted off the hood of my vintage 1960 yellow Corvette convertible, and I had nabbed a prime parking space right across the street from my shop. 

Slinging my bag over one shoulder, I climbed out of the car, pulled off my tortoiseshell sunglasses, and regarded the wooden sign mounted above the door of the old redbrick building. 

BLOOMERS 

Every time I saw it, a thrill of pride raced through me. Me, Abby Knight, an entrepreneur! Penniless, perhaps, yet soundly devoted to my new profession. Who would have guessed when I flunked out of law school a year ago that I’d be standing here today in front of my own flower shop? Certainly not my parents, who were still shell-shocked. 

I locked the car door and gave the Vette an affectionate pat before pocketing the keys. This car was my baby. I loved it with a passion I normally reserved for fine dark chocolate or a bathing suit that actually fit. It was a four-on-the-floor with a black ragtop roof, black leather seats that were cracked from age and wear, and a slightly scratched chrome-and-black dashboard. Originally, beneath a thick coat of grime and bird droppings, the body color had been white. Now, with its two-week-old paint job, the car was a bright, cheery banana yellow, my favorite color. 

Hovering like a proud mother, I flicked a leaf off the hood and polished away a stray fingerprint with the hem of my white blouse. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a man race from the alley between two buildings and hop into a black monster of an SUV parked in front of the Vette. I thought nothing of it until he gunned the motor. Then I looked up in surprise as he threw the vehicle into Reverse and backed into my car’s front end. Wham! 

I stood in the street with mouth agape as visions of the precious dollars I had just spent on the car winged fiendishly past. The SUV took off with a squeal of tires. 

“Sixty-four apple David three—damn it!” He was too fast. I didn’t have a chance to catch the whole license plate number. 

“You’re leaving the scene of an accident!” I shouted, shaking my fist at him as he sped away. “Come back here, coward!” He had his windows down; I knew he heard me. 

“Go get ’im, honey,” someone called from a city van. A tow truck driver honked his horn and gave me a thumbs-up. 

I found a pen and scribbled the numbers on the back of my hand, then crouched in front of my car to inspect the damage. My stomach lurched at the horrible sight: shattered double headlights, dented chrome grill and hood. I stood up and glared in the direction he had gone. There was no way I would let an irresponsible moron get away with a hit-and-run on my car. No way. I hadn’t grown up as the daughter of a cop for nothing, not to mention that if my insurance payments went up, I’d go broke.

As I dug in my purse for my cell phone, one of the warbling robins flew over and deposited a big white blob of bird poop on the trunk. With a shudder, I turned my back on the scene of the crime and called the police dispatcher, who promised to send someone out as soon as possible. My assistant, Lottie Dombowski, was watching me through Bloomers’s window, a look of horror on her face. I signaled back to let her know I had everything under control. 

This was not the colorful start I’d had in mind earlier that morning. 

Lottie had to unlock the door for me since I was too rattled to find my keys and the shop didn’t open for another hour. She was dressed in her usual summer getup—bright pink loafers, white denims that fit her size-fourteen body a little too snugly, a pink blouse that gaped where it stretched across her ample bosom, and a pink satin bow snuggled into the brassy curls above her left ear Shirley Temple style. Not exactly a trendy hairdo for the mother of seventeen-year-old quadruplets, but try to tell her that and she would hand you a hair dryer and tell you to knock yourself out. After raising those four boys, nothing fazed Lottie. 

“Are you okay, sweetie?” she asked, looking me over from my shoulder-length bob to my open-toed black mules. “I saw that pond scum ram you.” 

“I’m fine, just angry is all.” 

“He was in some hurry, wasn’t he? Come on back. I’m making breakfast.” 

Cooking was just one of Lottie’s abilities. Besides being a true genius at floral design, she was also the one who put me on to my Corvette. And she knew just about everyone on the New Chapel town square—a boon to any business person, especially a novice like me. 

I had met Lottie during the period of my fateful engagement to Pryce Osborne II, when Lottie owned Bloomers and I made deliveries for her—in between clerking for a lawyer. Holding two jobs was the only way I could afford law school. My grandfather’s trust had covered my undergraduate expenses at Indiana University, a state college, but had not been enough to pay for three years of law school, even a local one that allowed me to live at home. 

But the trust had been enough for a minimal down payment on a quaint flower shop in a small Midwestern college town. 

The inhabitants of New Chapel, Indiana, were typical in that regard, tolerating the students that flocked to the cheap eateries, coffeehouses, and dollar stores during the school year, and bemoaning their absence during the summer months. The town square had the regulation limestone courthouse set amid a huge expanse of lawn, with a tall spire and huge clock face that proclaimed it ten minutes after four regardless of the real time, along with the standard compliment of family-owned restaurants, shops, and businesses flanking the courthouse square on all sides. 

The town was unique only in its location—thirty minutes by car from the famed Indiana Dunes lakeshore on the southern tip of Lake Michigan, and an hour by train from Chicago, barring unforeseen weather conditions, such as, say, clouds. New Chapel was close enough to take advantage of the big-city highlights yet far enough away to escape the madness. 

The population was eclectic—ranging from blue-collar workers employed by a nearby steel mill, to farmers in the outlying county, to businesspeople who commuted to the Loop, to the professors and students at New Chapel University. The neighborhoods varied from sprawling areas of tract housing on former swampland, to square, flat blocks of identical ranch homes or bungalows on what had been grazing pastures, to fancy gated communities set in hilly, wooded areas, to dilapidated farm-houses that dotted the miles of rural roads connecting New Chapel to neighboring towns.

I had always loved the charm of Bloomers—with its two multipaned bay windows displaying a colorful array of flowers and its old-fashioned yellow-framed door with beveled glass center—but I never thought I would one day own it. After my disastrous year at law school and my breakup with Pryce, I had considered moving to Chicago to find work, but the thought of all that noise and traffic congestion made me queasy. Actually, I’m slightly claustrophobic. 

My parents had urged me to stay in town. My mother was adamant about it being the best place to raise a family—like that was going to happen anytime soon—but I hadn’t seen much in the way of career opportunities for someone with a creative bent and little money. 

Then in stepped Lottie with an offer I couldn’t refuse. She’d had a modestly successful floral business going, but her husband’s enormous medical bills had wiped out her cash reserves. Since she was desperate to pay off her debts, and I was equally desperate to find something I could do well, I took a long hard look at my abilities and came to the conclusion that the only things I’d ever had any luck with were plants, so why not make a living from them? 

“You can’t be serious,” my mother had said after I’d announced my intentions. “Why not resume your law studies? Take the dean a plate of brownies. He’ll let you back in.” 

“Mother, endowing the dean with an entire brownie company would not make that happen. Besides, I don’t want to be a lawyer.” 

“You can’t keep changing your mind, Abigail, not at your age. Not if you want to make me a grandmother. How many times did you switch majors in college? Three, four?” 

“Two. And it put me only a year behind.” 

“Why didn’t you go for a medical degree? You always wanted to be a dermatologist.”

“You always wanted me to be a dermatologist. I wanted to be a translator at the UN—until I found out I had to learn more than conversational French.” 

“But a florist, Abigail? A florist?” 

It wasn’t like I was the first person in the family to make a living from plants. My grandmother had raised a big family solely on the produce from her garden, along with a few turkeys here and there. From her I had learned how to cultivate flowers, grow vegetables, and sneak raspberries into my mouth without leaving behind telltale red stains. 

But it was while working for Lottie that I actually began to dream about arranging flowers for a living. I’d loved the fragrance of fresh blossoms, the exhilaration of helping Lottie create beautiful bouquets, and the smiles on the faces of the people who received them. So I’d closed my eyes, made the leap, and became the proud owner of a huge mortgage. And Lottie, relieved of her financial burden, was able to do what she loved without the headaches. She swore she would be eternally in my debt, as I was in the bank’s. The difference was that the bank wanted their debt paid back monthly. 

The fly in the ointment was a big new floral and hobby shop that had opened on the main highway, where fresh flowers were sold in premade bouquets for rock-bottom prices and silk flowers were to be had in every color of the rainbow. For those on a budget it was a dream come true. For a small shop like Bloomers it was a disaster. 

To curb the drain of customers, I had been trying various inexpensive promotional devices, including running a contest—What’s My Vine?—handing out free flowers at grocery stores—A Mum for Your Mum!—and adding a coffee and tea parlor. So far, the coffee and tea parlor held the most promise.

“How many orders came in over the wires last night?” I asked Lottie, as I followed her through the shop into the workroom behind it. 

“Three.” 

Three wasn’t good. Seven was good. Seventeen was better. Twenty-seven would have me doing handsprings over the worktable. 

We went through a doorway into the tiny, crowded kitchen at the rear of the building, where Lottie had already started preparing her traditional Monday-morning breakfast. Bloomers occupied the entire first floor of the deep, three-story, redbrick structure, from Franklin Street in front to the alley in back. Three apartments made up the second floor, accessible through a door and stairway to the left of our shop. The third floor was unfinished—full of dusty, discarded furniture and enough spiders to fuel my nightmares well into the next century, should I still be alive and kicking. 

It was a wonderful old building from the turn of the century, when ceilings were a minimum of ten feet high and the brick walls inside were real. There were the added benefits of having the courthouse right across the street and the university five blocks south, another reason why I figured my coffee and tea parlor might fly. 

Lottie tied on her black bib apron, took eggs from the old refrigerator, and cracked them on the side of a bowl. “How do you want ’em?” 

“Scrambled.” Just like my brain at that moment. I put my head in my hands and moaned at the thought of my poor car. 

“How much damage?” she asked.

“Front end. Who knows how much it’ll cost.” With a heavy sigh, I pulled off my shades, dropped them in my slouchy leather bag—a bargain I’d found at Target—and perched on a stool at the narrow eating counter. “I’ll find the maggot somehow. He had local plates.” 

“Call Justin about the car. He’ll get you in right away.” 

Justin was Lottie’s nephew. He ran Dunn’s Body Shop and was a true genius when it came to fixing cars, though he could barely read the back of a cereal box. He’d bought my Vette from a widow who’d stored it in a barn for decades after her farmer husband died. Other than needing bodywork, new paint, and a rear bumper, the four-speed stick shift had been in relatively good shape. Most important, it had been cheap. 

“Listen, sweetie,” Lottie said, her back to me as she worked, “my cousin Pearl needs advice real bad, but she won’t go see a lawyer, so I convinced her to talk to you.” 

That was the trouble with people who knew me: They assumed that since I’d attended law school, even for one year, I was practically a lawyer and therefore could advise them—for free. Combine their need for help with my intense hatred of injustice and a strong proclivity for untangling all those little quandaries people got themselves into and—well, let’s just say I often found myself in rather interesting situations. 

Although I knew better, I had to ask, “What’s Pearl’s problem?” 

Lottie whipped the eggs with a wire whisk, then poured the batter into a sizzling skillet. “That lousy, son-of-a-bee husband of hers is the problem. Now we find out he’s keeping a little doxy on the side, too. I told her to divorce him, but she’s afraid.” 

The aroma wafting from the skillet made my stomach growl. “Afraid of a divorce or afraid of her husband?”

“Both. Tom Harding’s an ornery cuss. I’m not fearful of many people, as you know, but he sure the hell scares me. I know you’ll be able to talk some sense into Pearl.” 

I didn’t want to talk a person into getting a divorce. I understood that not all lawyers shared my feelings, but maybe that was one of the reasons I’d flunked my law classes. “I think Pearl should see a marriage counselor, Lottie.” 

She put down the spatula, wiped her hands, and pulled up the stool next to mine. “Listen, baby, this man is abusing her and their boy, too. She’s scared out of her wits. I’d never get her to a counselor. I’ll be lucky to pry her out of the house to get her here. You’ve got to help, Abby. You’re good at helping people.” 

“What does Pearl’s husband do for a living?” 

“He’s a farmer.” 

Not good, financially. Most farmers barely managed to eke out a living and often worked two jobs. There wouldn’t be much in the way of assets to split between them—if Lottie’s cousin had the courage to proceed with the divorce. Something I had learned from my clerking days was that reluctant clients usually ended up dismissing their divorce actions. 

“Good morning, all!” Grace Bingham called brightly in her meticulous British accent, poking her head into the kitchen. “How are we today?” Grace had left her nursing career behind ages ago, yet still spoke in first person plural. 

“Other than having our car smashed by a reprobate in an SUV, we’re fine,” I said. 

“Us, too,” Lottie added. 

Grace gave me a thorough once-over, just to be sure. “Shall I call Dunn’s Body Shop and make an appointment for your car, dear?”

“Would you, please?” 

Before coming to Bloomers, Grace had been a top-notch legal secretary for Dave Hammond, the lawyer for whom I had clerked. Several months ago Grace had decided to retire, and after ten agonizingly boring days of staring at her walls, realized her mistake. Now, as our girl Friday, she manned the cash register, answered the phone, and ran the coffee and tea parlor. In fact, the parlor had been her creation. 

Brought here from England by her GI husband, Grace had always bemoaned that New Chapel had no tea parlor. It turned out that Grace was an expert tea brewer and a fast study on gourmet coffee, as well. Plus, she loved to bake scones and the little cookies she called biscuits, so we had decorated half of the store in a Victorian theme, installed equipment, put her in charge, and voila! Now, in addition to the fragrance of the flowers, the shop was scented with coffee, tea, and baked goods. In nice weather, we opened the door and let the aroma draw people in. 

Grace was amazing. A widow for the last fifteen years, and well into her sixth decade, she climbed stairs without breaking a sweat, maintained her calm in any crisis, and bowled no less than two hundred twenty. She worked for me because she enjoyed it, not because she needed the money, which suited me just fine. She’d starve on what I could afford to pay. 

Grace and Lottie worked well together—usually.Sometimes Grace’s fussiness got under Lottie’s skin. But then, Lottie’s teasing irritated Grace, so they evened each other out. 

“Listen, baby, will you talk to Pearl this afternoon?” Lottie asked, resuming our conversation. “I told her I’d take her to Wal-Mart during my lunch hour, but I’ll bring her here instead. It’ll be a surprise.” 

Some surprise.

“Abby, you’re not dabbling in legalities again, are you?” Grace warned. “Remember what happened last time?” 

“Yes, but the judge ended up seeing the humor in it.” 

“And the time before that?” 

I hung my head. My aunt still hadn’t forgiven me. For that matter, neither had my high-school homeroom teacher, who’d claimed I had a problem sticking my nose where it didn’t belong. Also the middle-school principal, who had taken away my monitor’s sash, the school bus driver with the Playboy magazines under his seat, the cafeteria lady with the walnut-sized wart on her nose and the funny cigarettes in her sock—but what was the sense of looking back? 

“If you choose to meddle thus,” Grace said, striking a Hamlet-esque pose, “then you must be prepared to face the consequences, whatever they are.” 

“Very good!” Lottie said, giving her a brief burst of applause. We were constantly awed by Grace’s ability to find a quote to fit any situation. 

She gave a regal nod of her head to acknowledge our praise. “Jimmy Sangster, British screenwriter.” 

“Don’t worry, Grace,” Lottie said. “Abby is only going to offer her advice this time. Aren’t you, sweetie?” 

I glanced at Grace, who was giving me a stern head shake. 

“Lottie, I really think your cousin would be better off seeing a lawyer,” I said, and Grace beamed at me. 

“Sweetie, if I pull up in front of a law office, Pearl will bolt from the car and take off running. You have an honest face. She’ll believe what you tell her. Then you can send her to Dave. What do you say?” Lottie slipped the steaming heap of buttery, golden eggs in front of me.

I was easily swayed by food. I took a scrumptious mouthful and muttered, “How about twelve thirty?” I could at least listen to her story. What harm would there be in that?

“I want it noted,” Grace sang out as she retreated to the sanctity of her tea parlor, “I did warn you.”


Abby Knight returns to her small home town as a NYC lawyer. On the day of her flower shop opening, her car gets damaged by someone fleeing a murder scene. She soon meets a charming bartender and partners with him in the search for answers.

Release Date: January 17, 2016
Release Time: 83 minutes

Director: Bradley Walsh

Cast:
Brooke Shields as Abby Knight
Brennan Elliott as Marco Salvare
Beau Bridges as Jeffrey Knight
Kate Drummond as Nikki Bender
James Cade as Buzz
Ron Lea as Tom Harding
Altair Vincent as Tony Vertucci
James Thomas as Greg Morgan
Christian Lloyd as Dave King
Celeste Desjardins as Sydney Knight
Joel Gagne as Officer Brand
Dru Viergever as Officer Dunn
Fulvio Cecere as Detective Al Corbleon
James McGowan as Louis Vertucci
Michael Vincent Dagostino as Detective Blasko
Allison Hossack as Penny Harding
Josh Bainbridge as Daryl
Murray Oliver as Mr. Ryan
Lori Hallier as Mrs. Ryan
Verlyn Plowman as Ed Fainberg
Morgan I. Bedard as Officer Williams
Tammy-lynn Wilcox as Receptionist (as Tammy-Lynn Wilcox)
Michelle Jackett-Webster as Traffic Clerk
Giovanna Moore as Nursery Cashier
Lewis Hodgson as Building Inspector
Andrew Desabrais as Jonah
Lisa Boivin as News Anchor





Author Bio:
Kate Collins is the author of the best-selling Flower Shop Mystery series. Her books have made the New York Times Bestseller list, the Barnes & Noble mass market mystery best-sellers’ lists, the Independent Booksellers’ best-seller’s lists, as well as booksellers’ lists in the U.K. and Australia. All Flower Shop Mysteries are available in paperback, hardback and large print editions. The first three books in the FSM series are now available on audiobook.

In January of 2016, Hallmark Movies & Mysteries channel aired the first Flower Shop Mystery series movie, MUM'S THE WORD, followed by SLAY IT WITH FLOWERS and DEARLY DEPOTTED later that year. The movies star Brooke Shields, Brennan Elliott, Beau Bridges and Kate Drummond.

In December of 2017, a Christmas novella featuring the whole cast from the Flower Shop Mystery series was released in e-book format. MISSING UNDER THE MISTLETOE is the first mystery to be released digitally, with plans for many more stories to come.

Kate started her career writing children's stories for magazines and eventually published historical romantic suspense novels under the pen name Linda Eberhardt and Linda O'brien.


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EMAIL: katecollinsbooks@gmail.com



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Tuesday, August 2, 2022

July Book of the Month(Monday's Mysterious Mayhem-Tuesday Edition): The Mystery of the Spirits by CS Poe



Summary:

Snow & Winter #5
Antique dealer Sebastian Snow and Homicide detective Calvin Winter have been happily married for a year and a half. In that time, there’s been nary a mystery in sight, and for a recovering sleuth like Sebastian, an uneventful life is exactly what he needs.

That is, until Calvin’s lieutenant enters the Emporium and demands insight on a bizarre object known as a spiritoscope, hailing from the early days of the Spiritualism movement. Sebastian’s extensive knowledge of Victorian curiosities leads him to consulting for the NYPD—putting him at odds with his husband. And as the bodies begin to stack up, so do the seemingly dead-end clues, which if Sebastian can’t make sense of, might result in a whole lot more death.

Mystery, murder, and marriage… Sebastian’s back. 



Snow and Winter are back!  

Sebastian and Calvin never get old, I will never tire of their journey.  CS Poe has done it again with her incredibly well balanced blend of mystery, romance, danger, and humor.  It's that blend that made me stop briefly a few chapters from the end of The Mystery of the Spirits when I realized just how much this couple reminds me of Nick and Nora Charles, Dashiell Hammett's mystery solving duo of The Thin Man and appreciate the author's brilliance of doing so before continuing on.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the author copied the "formula", Snow and Winter are very much their own characters with their own brand of pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses, but that blend I mentioned is what drives the chemistry between them and that chemistry is what reminds me of Nick and Nora.  Nick's a "retired" detective and she's his rich wife who is intrigued by mystery and wants to help.  Okay, so Calvin is definitely not retired and Seb is definitely not rich but very much finds himself sucked into the investigations(sometimes by choice and sometimes by fate).  That pull, that driving force is what makes them so amazing, so likeable, so unique and yet the couple next door all at the same time.  So when I say they are very Nick and Nora, I'm not comparing the fictional couples but complimenting the author for bringing to life an unforgettable couple full of sass and snuggle.

Now, back to The Mystery of the Spirits.  I'm so not giving anything away because everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING plays a factor, has a role in this case.  I will say that I was questioning the who and why until about a page before the reveal.  Even when it came to me I still found myself going "Is it really ???" and keeping the reader guessing that close to the reveal is everything I want in a who done it?.  So kudos to CS Poe for keeping my brain percolating.

I think one of the things that really grabs my attention with the author's Snow and Winter series is the antiques, the element of history added to a very contemporary mystery.  I'm not really up on antiques but I am a history lover and a lover of unknown tidbits that most history teachers/professors gloss over or neglect all together because in my opinion its the minute details that make history interesting.  Some might call them "useless facts" but for me they are very much useful and 200% intriguing.  So yet another kudos to CS Poe for her attention to detail and her love of history, or the very least her respect for all things in the past.

You can never go wrong with Snow and Winter and whether she brings more cases to Seb's Emporium in the future, time will tell but I know I'll be revisiting their journeys, their cases, their love story for years to come.

One last note: if you are wondering about reading order, asking if you can start with Spirits or start a the beginning with Nevermore?  My answer: start with Nevermore.  I'm a series-read-in-order kind of gal so it's obvious to start at the beginning for me.  Will you be lost if you don't start with number 1? No, the author gives us any "needed" past info to keep you in the loop but Calvin and Sebastian meet in Nevermore so it is only natural to start there and experience all the ups and downs, highs and lows, of their journey as it happened.  However you want to tackle it, you won't be sorry because Snow and Winter are a brilliant, winning duo that will make you smile.  What more can a reader ask for?

RATING:



A police lieutenant walks into Snow’s Antique Emporium—which was not the setup to a bad joke, just how my Wednesday began.

The bell over the front door dinged and a gravelly voice snapped, “Where’s that Sebastian Snow?”

“Boss,” Max called without missing a beat. “You’ve got a customer.”

I stepped out of the office. Max didn’t look up from where he was dusting displays on the showroom floor, merely jutted a thumb in the direction of the door.

“Yeah, thanks, I hear just fine.” I took the steps down from the raised counter, wove around glass cases of gizmos and gadgets, and sidestepped larger, more eclectic odds and ends from a century long since passed. When I got close enough that the man came into focus, I nearly tripped over myself as I put on the brakes. “Oh. Hi.”

Calvin’s supervisor, and now-lieutenant after a promotion earlier that year, Ronald Ferguson, glowered at me from the threshold. He didn’t much like me, even blamed me for the Victorian-themed murder mysteries that’d befallen his Homicide Squad in the past, only because I’d gotten tangled up in one or two or four of them. I’d also married his best detective a year and a half ago, after the Bones case had been put to rest, and that’d really twisted Ferguson’s balls. I mean, it’s not like I’d purposefully gone out of my way to outsmart the entirety of the NYPD and steal Ferguson’s spotlight when Dr. Asquith had finally been apprehended. I’d simply had the bigger incentive for solving the case. Calvin might have been Ferguson’s first-grade, golden-goose detective, but he was my husband.

And love makes a guy do crazy things.

Anyway. Let bygones be bygones or whatever. Our relationship since me and Calvin tied the knot wasn’t exactly cordial, and I didn’t expect that to change. The few times we’d crossed paths, I’d say hello, Ferguson would grunt, and then we’d go our separate ways. So the fact that this man, with his permanent scowl, big arms, bigger chest, and classic Cop ’Stache, had willingly sought me out at… nine o’clock in the morning… was concerning.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, fiddling with the rolled-back cuffs of my shirtsleeves. “Is Calvin—?”

Ferguson tsked under his breath and shoved the cardboard box he’d been holding under one arm against my chest.

I scrambled to catch it and awkwardly pushed my glasses back up my nose.

Max had joined me by that point. He brushed the unsecured flaps of the box with his duster, then said to Ferguson, “Morning.”

“He bites,” I muttered in warning.

Max, who stood taller than me and still had that wiry build of a twentysomething guy who can eat absolutely anything and not gain an ounce, was using my shoulder as an armrest. “Max Ridley,” he said next, motioning to himself with the duster. “In case you wanted to yell at me too.”

Ferguson’s left eye twitched. He reached into the inner pocket of his suit coat, retrieved a crumpled pack of cigarettes, and when I’d taken a breath with the intention of telling him he couldn’t smoke in my shop and I would’ve told him the same thing if he were the President of the United States, Ferguson said, “Cool it, I’m not lighting it.”

“Cool it,” I repeated, deadpan. It was my turn for an eye twitch.

“Who’s your friend, boss?” Max asked in that easygoing-bro way he had of speaking.

“Ronald Ferguson,” I answered. “Calvin’s former sarge and now… is there slang for lieutenant?”

Ferguson snapped the filter off a cigarette, put the stick to his lips, and sucked hard on the cold tobacco. “I don’t know how Winter handles you.”

“With both hands, generally.”

Ferguson bit down on the cigarette. Loose tobacco peppered his tie. “Do you, ever once, have something to say that isn’t sarcastic?”

“Not really,” Max answered for me. “But over time you learn what’s important. It’s like tuning a radio.”

I raised the box in my hands and asked Ferguson through clenched teeth, “Can I help you with something?”

Ferguson took the cigarette from his mouth and pointed at me with it. “Do you know what that is?”

“Corrugated cardboard.”

“His face is getting red,” Max warned me.

“Now listen here, you smartass—” Ferguson began.

I set the box on the nearest display, crossed my arms, and said, “Please try that again.”

Ferguson looked about ready to swallow his tongue. “I read my detectives’ reports.”

“Hm-hm.”

“I know you’re a walking encyclopedia of weird shi—stuff—and that you’ve… inadvertently helped close a few cases in the past.”

“Watch those compliments, Ron. I’m a married man.”

Ferguson drew a deep breath before adding, “It would save me a lot of time and resources if you would look inside the box and tell me what that thing is.”

“I have a consultation fee,” I said.

“And I have your husband’s still-unapproved request for next Monday off.”

“Are you blackmailing me?”

Ferguson shoved the mangled cigarette back between his lips and stared at me.

I huffed, turned to the box, and yanked open the flaps. I carefully removed an item that’d been thoughtlessly wrapped in a few feet of Bubble Wrap, and unwound the packaging just enough to reveal, on first glance, what appeared to be a clockface bolted to a slab of solid wood. I reached into my back pocket, tugged my magnifying glass free, and brought it close to read the inscriptions on the face.

Max leaned over my shoulder and said, “It looks like a clock and Ouija board had a baby.”

“That’s exactly what is it,” I murmured.

“What? Really?” Max asked.

“It’s a spiritoscope.”

“The fuck is a spiritoscope?” Ferguson interjected; more tobacco flecks sprinkled across his tie and shirt as he spoke.

“The layman’s answer: it was intended to disprove the validity of the Spiritualism movement in Victorian America,” I said.

“I don’t need the fucking layman’s explanation,” Ferguson snapped.

“Oh?” I looked at Ferguson and offered a saccharine smile. “I guess I’m used to people telling me to shut up and therefore have to consolidate an entire religious movement that lasted nearly a century, heavily influenced by sensationalism and the mass casualties seen during the Civil War and World War I, into a single sentence.”

“I want to hear more about it,” Max said with a sort of over-the-top enthusiasm clearly meant to be a jab at Ferguson.

“Do you?” I asked, just as fake.

“I sure do!”

“Well—” I began, adding a sort of dramatic, storyteller inflection to my voice, “Robert Hare, a once-prominent scientist from Philadelphia, set out to debunk the table-rappers of the 1850s by conducting a series of experiments with devices he called spiritoscopes.” I held up the item in question while adding, “This was one of several unique designs.”

Max crossed one arm over his chest and used the handle of the duster to tap his chin thoughtfully. “I see, I see. And did they disprove the movement?”

“They did not,” I said brightly. “In fact, Hare ended up converting to Spiritualism after becoming convinced of the mediums’ accuracy. He was shunned by the scientific community for the last few years of his life.”

Ferguson growled before spitting out, “How. Does. It. Work?”

“Hey,” Max chastised, motioning between him and me with the duster. “Respect the process.”

I dropped the bullshit pretense and countered with, “How did it manage to fool Hare? The same sleight of hand required to be a successful magician, I suppose. How did it work from a technical standpoint?” I looked around briefly, then told Max, “Hold out your hands.”

He tucked the duster into his back pocket and held them out, palms up.

I set the still-wrapped base in his hands and said, “Max is the table. The spiritoscope rests on its wheeled base, which allows it to move in a horizontal position—back and forth like this. The medium would rest his or her hands on this board, with the index—that’s the clock-like face—pointed away from them so they couldn’t read the results. As they moved the spiritoscope across the table, a system of pulleys—here on the side—caused this arrow on the index to move.” I picked the antique up and turned to face Ferguson. “It was thought that the spirits used the medium’s hands to spell out messages, or answer direct questions. See on the index, there’s the complete alphabet, zero through nine, as well as a few simple phrases: yes, no, think so, mistake, etcetera.”

Something in Ferguson’s expression had changed. I’m usually not very good at reading people—bad eyesight and all. I mean, if I’ve been around them long enough, consistently enough—like Max, my ex, my dad, my husband—then sure. I can definitely pick out nonverbal cues and surmise what they’re thinking. But Ferguson? I had no inkling, other than something about my explanation wasn’t sitting well with him. Like he’d eaten something sour and it was twisting his guts up.







Author Bio:

C.S. Poe is a Lambda Literary and two-time EPIC award finalist, and a FAPA award-winning author of gay mystery, romance, and speculative fiction.

She resides in New York City, but has also called Key West and Ibaraki, Japan, home in the past. She has an affinity for all things cute and colorful and a major weakness for toys. C.S. is an avid fan of coffee, reading, and cats. She’s rescued two cats—Milo and Kasper do their best to distract her from work on a daily basis.

C.S. is an alumna of the School of Visual Arts.

Her debut novel, The Mystery of Nevermore, was published 2016.


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The Mystery of the Spirits #5
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Southernmost Murder