Sweaty from hauling his belongings up to his dorm room, Noah Boucher picked up his caddy and grabbed a towel. He was halfway to the communal showers when he spotted a dark-haired woman standing in the doorway to one of the rooms, speaking to someone inside.
“Be safe, sweetie!” she said cheerfully. “I tucked condoms into your bag. I know there are a lot of cute boys here in Toronto, but I expect you to make good choices.”
A pained male groan came from inside the room and Noah slowed to a stop, intrigued. Another bi or gay guy on his floor? Interesting.
“Mom, stop it. You’re being embarrassing. Please go.”
She laughed and leaned forward. “Bye. Love you, Simon.”
“Love you too, Mom.” The guy, Simon, sounded both exasperated and fond.
After she left, Noah hung back for a moment before he continued down the hall. Simon still stood in the door as Noah passed and he let out another pained little sound. “You heard all of that, didn’t you?”
Noah nodded, trying to suppress his smile.
“God, can I just die now?” Simon’s pale cheeks flushed a bright red, and he brushed his black hair off his forehead with a bashful duck of his chin. He peered at Noah through his thick lashes as he wet his lips. “That was seriously embarrassing.”
“Hey, no, it’s cool,” Noah said with a grin, trying to reassure him. “Well, not cool, but all moms are like that, I swear. You just missed mine being super awkward earlier. And my dad’s Quebecois, so he was embarrassing in two languages. Only it was my parents telling me that there were lots of cute girls and guys, so I need to be careful with both.”
Simon laughed, the tension in his shoulders easing as he tilted his head and studied Noah. “You’re bi?”
“Yep. Bilingual and bisexual.”
Simon laughed again, even louder this time. “And you’re out about it?”
“Sure. I told the team last year when I joined. Couldn’t have fooled the other French-Canadian players if I tried though. They knew I was bilingual right away.” Noah winked.
Simon shook his head, his cheeks still a little pink, his expression amused. “I meant—”
“I know what you meant,” Noah said teasingly. “I was just playing. Yeah, I’m out to everyone on the team.”
“The … team?”
“Uh, hockey. I play for the university.”
“Cool. You had any issues with it? Being out, I mean.”
Noah shrugged. “There are always a few assholes, eh? But for the most part, it’s not too bad.”
Simon looked him up and down. “What position do you play?”
“Goaltender.”
“You any good?”
Noah grinned. “I’m not bad.”
He was more than ‘not bad.’ He’d been drafted by the new expansion team here in Toronto—the Fisher Cats—bringing a second team to the center of the hockey world—but his parents wanted him to finish his degree first. It was smarter, he knew that, but God he wanted to play now.
Three more years, he promised himself.
Truthfully, he was surprised Simon hadn’t heard of him, but his accent sounded more American than Canadian, so maybe that was it. It had been big news here—the new team starting and immediately going for the local star.
Noah had been born and raised in a small town in Quebec, but once it became clear how talented he was, his parents had moved the entire family to the outskirts of Toronto so he could join a highly regarded AAA travel team. He’d spent most of his youth living in and playing for Toronto, so the idea of the local NHL team being enthusiastic to sign him had been a dream come true.
Playing for the university had pushed his skills to another level and given him some great experience in high intensity games that he hoped would serve him well when he joined the active Fishers roster.
But right now, he was very, very glad he’d gone to college since it meant there were cute gay boys living just down the hall from him.
Simon gave him a small smile. “Maybe I’ll have to go to a game sometime and see just how good you are.”
“I’d like that.” Noah leaned against the wall, studying Simon. He was dressed in jeans and a nondescript hoodie so it was impossible to tell what he was into. He could have been a musician, a jock, or pre-med, or any combination of those things, plus a million others. Whatever he was, he was damn pretty. “So, what do you do?”
“Do?” Simon tilted his head with an inquisitive look.
“Like … what are you into? Sports? Hobbies? What’s your major?”
“I’m a photographer. I’m taking business classes too, but photography is what I really love.”
“Oh cool. I’d love to see some of your work sometime.”
“Yeah, that would be great. I’d love to show you.” Simon’s gaze flicked up and down Noah’s body before a frown creased his forehead. “I’m sorry, you were probably on your way to take a shower, weren’t you? I should let you get to that.”
“Uhh, yeah,” Noah admitted. “Guess I should. I’m enjoying talking to you though.”
“We could grab dinner together later or something,” Simon offered, licking his lips.
Heat stirred low in Noah’s stomach. Simon had these high cheekbones and pretty dark eyes, and he was tall—nearly as tall as Noah was—and rangy. He was probably half his width. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him. Gorgeous. The more Noah looked at him, the more he liked him.
Noah grinned and nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that. Meet you back here at six?”
“Six it is.”
“Awesome, see you then.” Noah gave Simon another grin, then mentally facepalmed. He’d never introduced himself. “I’m Noah Boucher by the way.”
Simon laughed, his cheeks flushing again, his palm warm and a little damp when their hands pressed together. “Simon Lawrence.”
“Very nice to meet you, Simon Lawrence,” Noah said with a slow grin and a wink before he headed for the showers, whistling under his breath. At worst, it looked like he might have made a friend. At best … well, they’d just have to wait and see.
But when Noah arrived at Simon’s door a few minutes before six, Simon’s roommate was there too. Brad followed them to the cafeteria, clearly unaware that this was supposed to have been a date. As Noah swiped his key card and a couple of guys from the team waved at him and walked over, he stifled a groan and glanced at Simon, expecting him to have an equally annoyed expression on his face. But he was deep in conversation with his roommate. A flicker of doubt went through Noah.
Did Simon not intend this to be a date?
Despite Noah’s annoyance and confusion, dinner that night was entertaining. Some people from their floor joined them along with a few of Noah’s teammates and it was a loud, fun group. He tried to get to know Simon better when he could, and he figured there would be another chance to ask him on a date—for real—in the future.
But dinners with friends became a regular thing, and no matter how many times Noah tried to get Simon alone by inviting him to the movies or out for a drink, it never seemed to happen. There was always someone tagging along. Noah was glad they’d made friends with new people but Jesus, it was impossible to actually get some alone time with Simon. And within a few weeks, Simon started dating a guy from one of his classes and Noah had missed his opportunity. Admitting defeat, Noah finally said yes to the girl on the floor downstairs who had invited him to a couple of parties.
Though they became close friends, Noah continued to wonder what it would be like to kiss Simon. Touch him. Make him his.
Noah had missed his opportunity.
TWO YEARS LATER
“That was fun. I needed that,” Simon said as he and Noah left Randall’s Pizzeria where they’d been hanging out with their friends.
“Me too. I’ve been studying like crazy.”
Simon snuck a glance at Noah. Noah’s cheeks were pink, and his blue eyes were bright. Simon had enjoyed a couple of drinks, but Noah had only had one. They had finals tomorrow, so they’d cut out early from the celebration with the excuse they needed to get some sleep. Though Simon had also wondered if Noah was hoping to spend some time alone with him. He hoped so.
“Sometimes it’s nice to just get away from the hockey team,” Noah continued with a sigh.
Simon snorted. “They’re entertaining.”
“Sure. You only say that because I was the one they were giving shit to about being single.”
“Like I said, entertaining.”
“Hey. Rude.” Noah playfully bumped his shoulder. “Sorry your boyfriend couldn’t make it.”
Noah didn’t sound very sorry. And the truth was, Simon wasn’t either. They wouldn’t be walking back to the dorms like this together if Dave had come to the bar with them. And Simon really, really liked spending time with Noah. Probably more than he should.
Simon shrugged. “We’re … I don’t know. Not sure we’re going to last much longer.” He bit his lip and shot Noah a sidelong glance.
“Why’s that?”
Noah looked oddly happy at that news, which made Simon’s stomach flutter.
In the two years they’d been friends, Simon had always wondered if something would happen with Noah. The chemistry was there, but the timing had never worked out. If one of them was single, the other wasn’t. But Simon had dreamed about what it would be like to run his fingers through Noah’s red-gold hair and kiss his full lips. He’d spent so many mornings in the shower thinking about what Noah’s body would look like under his clothes. Wondering how he’d smell. How he’d taste.
Sometimes he even imagined being with Noah when he was in bed with Dave, though he’d never admit that aloud.
“I don’t know,” Simon admitted. “Dave seems like he’s kinda restless. He keeps talking about seeing other people. Not like, breaking up, but at the same time.” He shrugged.
“That’s not your thing?”
“No.” Simon chewed at his lip. “Is that weird?”
“No. I mean, whatever makes people happy, I guess, but I don’t think I’d want that either.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I mean, for one, between hockey and school, I don’t have that much time. It’s cool if it’s casual or whatever, but trying to seriously date multiple people at a time sounds exhausting, eh?”
“Sure.”
“Besides.” Noah bumped Simon’s shoulder again, this time more softly. “If I’m serious about someone, I like being focused on just them. The one person I’m really, really into is all I’d need.”
“Is there someone?”
“Someone I’m really, really into?”
“Yeah.” Simon held his breath. “Yeah, there is,” Noah said, his voice a little raspy. “Um, there’s this guy who lives on my floor in the dorms. He’s gorgeous and so smart and really talented. I’ve had a crush on him for a couple of years.”
“He sounds amazing. If things don’t work out, you’ll have to introduce me to him,” Simon teased, desperately hoping he was the one Noah was talking about.
Noah stopped dead in his tracks and gently grabbed Simon’s arm. “It’s you, Simon.”
“I know.” Simon let out an awkward little laugh. “I mean, I hoped that’s what you meant. Because I”—he licked his lips—“I feel it too. I just don’t know what to do about it.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Noah stepped closer.
The air was so cold Simon could see the white steam flow from Noah’s lips and mingle with the puffs of air he let out.
“What?”
“You and me.” Noah slid his hand along the back of Simon’s parka, pulling him closer. “We’ve been dancing around this for two years, Simon. We’re not fooling anyone.”
Simon’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“Haven’t you heard people talking? My friends are always harassing me about when I’m going to ask you out.”
“What do you tell them?”
“When the time is right.” He pressed his forehead to Simon’s.
“I have a boyfriend.” But Simon slid his hands, covered with mittens, up the front of Noah’s parka, grabbing his lapels. “The time isn’t right.”
“I know,” Noah admitted. “That's why I’m not kissing you right now.”
“You want to?”
“Oh fuck, Simon, I’m dying to.” The rasp of Noah’s voice sent a shiver through Simon’s body. “I want to lick my way between your lips and kiss you until you know you’re mine.”
Heat crawled across Simon’s skin at those words, his entire body trembling with need.
“I feel like a horrible person saying this, but … break up with him, Simon,” Noah said.
Simon sighed, pulling back to look Noah in the eye. “I don’t wanna be a jerk to Dave. He’s not a bad guy.”
“I know. Doesn’t mean he’s right for you though,” Noah argued. “Look, I don’t want to pressure you. If you’re happy with Dave, I’ll back off. But it doesn’t sound like you are. And if you’re not, why are you with him? Whatever happens between us, don’t waste your time being miserable, Simon. And don’t do what Dave wants if it isn’t what makes you happy.”
“Okay.” Simon wet his lips, heart beating fast. “Yeah, um, I’ll talk to Dave.”
“Good.”
They walked back to the dorm in silence. When they reached Simon’s room, Noah kept walking, heading to his own door. But the look he gave Simon was filled with so much heat that Simon promised himself he’d talk to Dave soon.
******
The following morning, Noah skidded into Simon’s dorm room, socks sliding on the slippery floors. “Holy shit, Simon, you’re never going to believe this!”
“Believe what?” Simon rose to his feet.
Noah’s heart thundered as he tried to wrap his brain around the news he’d just gotten. “I got a call. They … I’m playing an NHL game tonight.”
“What?”
“The Fisher Cats need me. You know I’ve been signed with them for a while and had planned to report to the team after I was done playing for the university.” Simon nodded. “In the meantime, I was on their roster as an emergency backup goaltender, but I never thought it would actually happen. Just got a call from my agent though.”
“What did he say?”
“You know how Townsend has been out with a lower body injury this past week?” Townsend was the Fishers’ starting goalie.
“Yeah.”
“Well, Koskinen—their backup—is out now too. Concussion during practice this morning. Some weird fluke thing, I guess, but he’s out for a few games.”
“Shit.” Simon was wide-eyed.
“So they want me.” That was the part Noah was having trouble wrapping his brain around.
A frown furrowed Simon’s brow. “Wouldn’t they just bring up a guy from the AHL team?”
“Cap space problem. They can’t afford it.”
“Wow. So, this means …”
“I—I’m leaving in like twenty minutes to play pro hockey. I just had to tell you first.”
“Wow,” Simon said softly. “That’s amazing, Noah.”
Noah stepped closer. “It’s crazy. I’m so excited.” He couldn’t stop the grin that stretched across his face. Simon was the first person he’d told. The only one—other than his family—who he wanted to share that news with.
“You should be! This is a dream come true for you.”
“Watch the game tonight?” Noah reached out and grabbed the front of Simon’s hoodie, pulling him a little closer. “If I know you’re watching, I’ll play better.”
“I always watch your games,” Simon said with a small smile. “I just wish I could see this one in person.”
“Maybe someday.” Noah grinned. “When I’m on the ice wearing a Toronto Fisher Cats jersey for real.”
“It won’t be long. I know it.”
Simon’s faith in him warmed Noah clear down to his toes. “Wish me luck tonight?”
“Good luck,” Simon said, his eyes filled with pride. “But you don’t need it. You’re going to be amazing either way. I know you are.”
“Thank you.” Noah hugged him, the excited tension in him unwinding a little at the feel of Simon in his arms. He stepped back, smiling as he wrapped his hand around the back of Simon’s neck. “And when I get back, I’m taking you on a date, Simon Lawrence.”
“You promise?”
Noah grinned, even more widely this time. It was like he couldn’t stop. “I promise.” Impulsively, he leaned forward and kissed Simon’s forehead.
“Guess I better have that talk with Dave then,” Simon said quietly when Noah drew back.
Hope lit him up inside, making an already great day even better. “Guess you better.”
******
Simon’s pulse raced and his short nails dug half-moons into his palms when he clenched his fists. “C’mon, Noah,” he chanted under his breath, watching with his heart in his throat while Detroit’s forward sped toward the goal. “You’ve got this.”
He almost couldn’t watch while Noah smoothly slid into the splits, reaching with his blocker and batting the puck back onto the ice, right in front of one of the Fishers’ players who snagged it and raced toward Detroit’s goal.
“Yesss,” Simon hissed, relief making him fall limply back onto the beanbag with a sigh. “Fuck yes, Noah.”
By the time the game was over, and Toronto had pulled off a 3-2 win, Simon was as exhausted and sweaty as if he’d been the one playing the game. Well, maybe not as sweaty. The camera had panned across a drenched but triumphant Noah Boucher a few minutes ago, his red hair soaked with sweat and the water he’d dumped over his head. Simon’s heart raced at the sight of him. Already, he looked different. Older, more mature. Was that really the guy he’d seen this morning who’d promised to take him on a date? The one who’d kissed his forehead and looked at him with such tenderness and affection that Simon could still feel the warmth of it in his chest?
A flicker of worry worked through Simon. Noah had played his first NHL game—and blown everyone away—but Simon knew it wouldn’t be his last. He was too good. No one had expected a college-level emergency backup goaltender to accomplish much but Noah had killed it tonight. What did that mean for their future?
“Simon?”
He glanced up to see his boyfriend Dave staring at him, holding out a hand. He let Dave pull him to his feet, mentally rehearsing how he was going to break up with him. Shit, he felt like an asshole. But this thing with Noah, it was too big to ignore, and even if Noah wasn’t in the picture, it was clear Dave wasn’t the guy for him.
“You want to head back to your room or mine?” Dave asked, sliding a hand around Simon’s waist and pressing close, nuzzling against his neck. They’d been watching the game with a few guys on the floor.
Simon tried not to flinch at the touch. “Uhh, mine is okay. Brad’s out tonight.”
But when Simon shut the door behind them and Dave leaned in for a kiss, Simon placed his hand in the center of Dave’s chest. “Look, we should talk.”
Dave sighed and stepped back. “Let me guess, you’re breaking up with me?”
“Yeah.” Simon grimaced. “To be honest, it’s felt like neither of us are super into this.”
“I like you, Simon.”
“I like you too, but …” But there was no spark. There was no racing heart like he had every time he looked at Noah. He liked spending time with Dave, and they had fun, but even the hottest sex with Dave paled in comparison to just spending time with Noah.
“But you’re in love with Boucher.” Dave jammed his hands in his pockets.
“What?” Simon blinked.
“Oh, come on, you’re not fooling anyone. I get it. He’s hot. I’d do him too. Just don’t expect him to stick around for long.” Dave let out a little snort. “You saw the game. He’s got a pro hockey career in his future. He’s not going to wait around for you.”
******
“Simon?” Noah peered through the open door of Simon’s room, still flying high from the game the night before. He’d snatched a few hours of sleep but the buzz inside him hadn’t fully faded.
“Noah. You’re back!” Simon rose to his feet. “I watched your game. It was amazing.”
Noah rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks.”
He still didn’t know how he’d pulled it off. Toronto had won. A lot of it was due to the rest of the team, of course. They had a strong offense this year and their D-men had kept the puck away from Noah’s goal for most of the game. But he’d had some incredible saves too, and there had been real, genuine appreciation on the guys’ faces after the game when they’d congratulated him. No one had expected much of an emergency backup goaltender but Noah had proved them wrong.
The press was going nuts with the story and Noah had gotten a crash course in pro-level media relations.
Sitting there in the Toronto Fishers’ dressing room, Noah had felt like one of the team. And the call he’d gotten from his agent a few minutes ago …
Simon stepped forward. “I broke up with Dave.”
“I …” Noah swallowed hard. “I’m not going to be able to take you on that date, Simon.”
Simon’s expression fell. “Why’s that?”
“They want to sign me. They’re desperate for goaltenders and I did so well last night. Last night I signed a one-day amateur try-out contract but they … they’ve offered me an actual entry-level contract. My parents and I are meeting with my agent and some reps from the Fishers this afternoon so we can hammer out some final details, but … it’s pretty much a done deal.”
“Wow. You’ll be playing for the Fishers for real then?”
“Yeah, I’m heading straight up to them. No stop in the AHL. It’s crazy. Shit like this pretty much never happens but …” Noah couldn’t say it out loud, but they’d told him he was one of the best prospects they’d seen in years. He’d killed it on the ice for the university this season and after his performance in his first pro game last night, no one could deny he was ready.
His parents were a little wary—they wanted him to finish college—but even they couldn’t deny that this step made sense. How could he turn down a shot like this? It was like the fates had aligned just right. In the history of the NHL, only a few EBUGs had ever gotten ice time. Usually, they just dressed for the game and warmed the bench. Even then the team usually knew there was a high chance of losing but it had been like magic last night. Time had seemed to slow down, and Noah was there, ready to block the shots fired his way that had snuck by Toronto’s defense.
All the pieces had lined up just right to give Noah this opportunity to go after his dream. But damn, leaving school was going to be hard, and leaving Simon even harder.
“Well, I’m happy for you.” Simon’s tone was firm like he was trying to mean it, but his expression turned sad. “I guess it’s still not the right time for us, huh?” His sigh was heartfelt, and an answering twinge went through Noah.
“I guess not.” Noah reached out and took Simon’s hand, then pressed his lips to his forehead, letting the kiss linger. “Maybe someday.”
“Yeah, maybe.” The ache in Simon’s voice was unmistakable.
“A part of me wants to turn the offer down,” Noah blurted out as he stepped back. He didn’t let go of Simon’s hand. “To stay here. To be with you.”
Simon opened his mouth, but Noah shook his head. “No, let me get this out, please. But I know I can’t. This offer is life changing. So few guys get this opportunity, and I need to chase my dream.”
“I know that,” Simon said thickly. “I really do. You deserve this, Noah. You’re an incredible goalie. I’d never want to get in the way of that.”
“I’m excited about my future, but … I don’t want to lose you,” Noah whispered.
“I don’t want to lose you either.”
Noah squeezed his upper arm. “I wish I could ask you to wait for me.”
Simon nodded.
“Or that we could try to make it work anyway. But the truth is, a pro career is hard. You want to go to New York someday and open a gallery. I’m going to be traveling with Toronto but God knows how many times I’ll get traded in my career. I want to ask you to wait for me, but it wouldn’t be fair. I want you, but I don’t want to start something I know won’t last. I don’t want to promise you things I’m not sure I can follow through on.” Noah dragged the side of his thumb down Simon’s cheek, more conflicted than he’d ever been in his life. He was being offered everything he’d ever wanted—a pro hockey career—but he had to lose Simon to get it. “Because if I had you, I’d never want to let you go.”
Simon smiled, but his eyes remained sad. “I understand, Noah.”
Noah let out a shaky sigh. “It seems impossible that I can miss you this much already. We never even ...”
“I know.” Simon stepped close again and Noah wrapped his arms tightly around him, aching with loss already.
He and Simon had never dated. Never so much as kissed. But that glimmer of the future they could have had burned in his chest. “I’m excited about my future, Simon,” Noah murmured. “I just wish you could be in it.”
“I know. Me too.” Simon hugged him tight, then pressed a kiss to Noah’s cheek. “Good luck, Noah. I know you’re going to be amazing.”
Noah gave him a tremulous smile, then turned and walked away to pack, wondering why it felt like he was leaving his future behind.
