Summary:
Paranormal Problems #1
Even death can’t stop fate.
Professional thief, Bellamy, might have bitten off more than he can chew this time. Jobs have gone wrong before, but never this wrong. His moral code might be grayer than most, but it exists, and he finds himself facing an impossible choice that could cost him everything.
Necromancer, John Averill’s day just got ten times worse. One more job, his boss says. Well, that job sucks, because not only does he find himself with a gun pointed at his head, but the man he’s been hired to raise temporarily from the dead is none other than his fated mate… the man he’s been searching for all his life.
Their love story is over before it ever began. Or is it? Fate still has a few tricks up its sleeve, and the impossible might just become possible.
Deader than Dead is a 57k Fated Mates MM paranormal novel featuring villains who will stop at nothing to get what they want, a stolen artifact, kidnapping, betrayal, lies, and two men determined to overcome death itself to be together.
Content warning for death and mention of suicide.
Please note that this is a revised version of a novella first published in the Fated Mates charity anthology. The story is now dual POV with 28k of added content. There have been some small changes to the story.
Summary:
Alpha Kissed #3
Of course I’ve noticed him.
He’s Hal, the singer who everyone loves and fawns over all night. There is no shortage of suitors surrounding his piano while he sings songs that drive directly into my heart. I wouldn’t stand a chance. So I sit here on my barstool and listen and pretend he might know I’m alive.
But he never takes anyone home, and I doubt he’s going to start with me.
I’m not the type of guy who approaches a man like him. I see him every night I perform at the Moonlight Lounge. The songs I choose are pointed in his direction, but nothing seems to make him look my way for more than a few seconds. His sweater vests and ties make him look a little uptight but I know there’s more. The way he bites his lip. The smooth manner in which he tips back his drink. The outline of biceps under the button down shirt I need to know him. Because my gut says he´s mine.
The Alpha’s Cranberry-Kissed Omega is a MM non-shifter mpreg with a hot musical alpha, a ninja competitor, psychologist omega, and a holiday surprise meeting that sets everything in motion. The Alpha’s Cranberry-Kissed Omega is part of the Alpha Kissed series but can be read as a standalone.
Original Review November 2024:
I previously included this book in my Turkey Day blog post a couple of years ago but hadn't had the opportunity to read it until now. Lorelei M Hart is not a new-to-me author although I've only read one other so nearly a new-to-me author😉. Mpreg is not for everyone, frankly I didn't think it would be for me either until I read a few fan fics of various fandoms. I really enjoyed them, my experience in the published world is still kind of limited to about three authors but I've enjoyed them all and Hart is in that column.
As my listings are limited I kind of have a preconceived expectations on the whole alpha/omega characters and in my mind's eye, I expected Hal and Kiplings roles to be reversed, don't ask me why because beyond lack of experience I have no reasoning. I enjoyed the flip in types for me at any rate, it just completed the whole package I guess, making Cranberry-Kissed all that much more intriguing.
There aren't many Thanksgiving themed stories out there so when I find one that even mentions the holiday it goes in the Turkey File but Cranberry-Kissed begins and ends at Thanksgiving making the story seem even more complete. Some might use the term "fluff" but to me that terminology isn't all that flattering and Cranberry-Kissed is a fun, holiday read that will warm your heart and put a smile on your face so I prefer the term "fluffy" as in Despicable Me when Agnes gets the new unicorn doll and screams: "It's so fluffy!". Nothing but squishable goodness in Lorelei M Hart's The Alpha's Cranberry-Kissed Omega.
Summary:
He’s beautiful, kind, hurting…and a ghost.
Ghost
I have no memories, no name. This new world is strange, and I’m afraid. Christopher is the only thing that makes any sense. Christopher might be gruff, but I sense he’s a kind teddy bear underneath.
Hiring him to help me recover my memories allows me to keep him close and feel less alone. Now the unexpected is happening…I’m falling for him.
Even a ghost deserves a happily ever after.
Christopher
Being a medium, I’m more comfortable with the world of ghosts. Raised in foster care, I’m not close to many. And my love life? It’s never been exciting.
Until him.
He’s gorgeous as hell, but I’m straight. Aren’t I?
My overwhelming desire for him is new and confusing, considering the only person I’ve been with is my ex-wife.
Crushing on a hot mess of a ghost isn’t in my plans.
Yet I can’t seem to stay away…
Almost You features ghost kink, amnesia, Bi-awakening, voyeurism, sensory play, size difference, hurt/comfort, spicy channeling, and mutual pining.
This is a novella for the Sunshine and Happiness series. "Ghost" needed to be happy, so I went out on a limb and told his story. The rest of the series is not paranormal. Almost You can be read as a standalone, but it is suggested that you read the series in order, especially with Here for You before the others.
Summary:
Dark Blood #1
“You act like you hate me and I don’t know why. All I did was love you. It wasn’t a crime.”
Ten years ago, the vampire Severin fell in love with the mortal Nikolaus in Vienna and abandoned him, rather than take his life.
He and his friend, Istvan, are invited to the vampire king Emil’s castle where he finds out that Nikolaus now belongs to Emil. Jealousy eats Severin alive. The twin lusts of blood and sex are intertwined for all vampires, ruling their lives. The only way to possess Nikolaus now seems to be to accept an invitation to share Emil’s pet for one night. But Emil is a despot, ruling all vampires with an iron fist. There is long, painful history between Severin and his maker, and a strange kind of relationship between the placid Istvan and the cruel Emil.
Storm clouds are gathering on the horizon, threatening all their lives. Severin can run, but if he takes Nikolaus with him, Emil will hunt them down and kill them. What’s a vampire in love supposed to do?
A dark, steamy m/m tale of unrequited love and longing, and vampire power games.
Previously published and re-edited with brand new covers.
Tentacular Tales #4
An alien invasion and a mysterious Sanctioning Ceremony—what could possibly go wrong?
RIVER
Now that I’m Earth-married to my sexy alien boo, everything should be sunshine and rainbows.
If only.
Instead, the Alliance is preparing for a hostile alien invasion any day now.
Am I stressed about that? Yes.
Am I more stressed about the Iyaran Sanctioning Ceremony that will make my marriage to Kai official on an intergalactic level?
You bet your sweet ass I am!
Kai and I just need to survive all of this so we can go on our super epic honeymoon. I’m not letting anyone or anything mess with that!
KAI
I dream of the day when River and I can finally settle into peaceful wedded bliss.
But nothing in our lives is ever quite that easy.
We need to stop this invasion and find the answers to critical questions. Like what exactly were those medical experiments that were secretly done to me…?
And River and I need to endure the three days of matrimonial hazing—ahem, I mean, traditional rituals of the Iyaran Sanctioning Ceremony.
I should be worried, but I know with River at my side we can face anything the universe throws at us.
All You Need is Alien Love is the fourth book in the Tentacular Tales series and should be read in chronological order. Get ready for: tentacles galore (even some unexpected ones), underwater shenanigans, embarrassing alien rituals, Groxil slime (it makes a useful comeback), Lord Vardox and Captain Starblade (they might just be moving to the next level), surprises (they come in threes), and more Star Trek references than you can shake a phaser at!
Deader than Dead by HL Day
Chapter One
John
I took the flight of stone steps that led up to the building two at a time, glancing at my watch as I did so. Late, but not that late, which was about as good as it ever got for me, so I’d take it. And if my boss wanted to give me shit for it, then I’d do what I normally did: sit and listen with a slightly apologetic look on my face until he ran out of steam.
The Paranormal Problems Bureau, or PPB for short if you didn’t want to use the day’s syllables up before breakfast, was as quiet as ever as I swiped my ID to gain admittance. Mainly, because it was invitation only and very few visitors set foot within its walls. Which only left the people who worked here. With my office on the fourth floor, I headed to the lift. First floor was the psychics, second floor the exorcists, or the ghostbusters as we called them behind them behind their backs, third floor the hunters, with us necromancers taking up the fourth. Human resources, IT and anyone else required to make everything run smoothly could be found on the fifth, and then Cade, my boss, and the person who had started this business from scratch ten years ago, had the whole of the top floor to himself like the king of the castle he believed himself to be.
I checked my watch again as the lift made its slow ascent, the glass wall affording me an impressive aerial view across London that I never tired of looking at. Thick carpet greeted me as I stepped out of the lift. No one could ever accuse Cade of being cheap with the décor. The PPB had the best of everything: plush carpet, mahogany bespoke furniture, wall to wall windows. Cade could afford it, though. We didn’t have a close enough relationship for me to inquire about his annual income from providing exclusive services to the public, but if he wasn’t a billionaire, I’d eat more than just my own hat.
Accessing the fourth floor required my ID again, Cade a stickler for security. Why he thought anyone would want to wander around, I didn’t know. Maybe to gawk at the freaks that had been born with paranormal abilities they didn’t have.
There were three desks in the large open-plan office. Three desks for three necromancers, all reflecting our individual personalities. Mine was messy, bits of paper stacked haphazardly, and several post-it notes littering the surface. There was also a half-eaten sandwich I kept meaning to throw away but never quite got around to. Maybe I could pass it off as some sort of biological experiment.
The desk closest to the windows and, therefore, the amazing view, was Griffin’s. Of course it was. Griffin got first choice of everything given he and Cade went way back. Despite today being scheduled as an office day for us to catch up on paperwork—assuming no emergencies reared their ugly head—Griffin’s desk was empty. It was the antithesis to mine, so austerely tidy that opening a window required a risk assessment. But then I supposed keeping a desk tidy was easy if you rarely sat at it.
The third desk belonged to Calisto, the youngest of the three of us. His desk was a study in organization that I could only dream of. Everything compiled into alphabetical order and labeled with little stickers for good measure. He had pens that wrote in every color, and drawers full of elastic bands, and paperclips, and staples, and every single shape, size, and color of post-it note you could think of. The man was a walking, talking stationery shop. Why he even had half the stuff, I didn’t know. I was yet to see him come up with a use for most of it.
Calisto raised his head as I entered the office, his expression curious. “You’re late,” he said, his slight Spanish accent bleeding into the words.
I shrugged off my leather jacket and hung it on the back of the chair. “Traffic was bad.”
He studied me for a moment, as if deciding whether the conversation was too tricky to continue. That was Calisto all over. The man was nice, like really nice. Probably the nicest person I’d ever met or was likely to. “You come to work on the tube,” he said.
I grinned at him. Calisto was obviously feeling feisty today to be picking me up on my bullshit. I waggled my eyebrows at him. “Ah, yeah, that’s right. I do. My mistake. Guess I just woke up late, then.” I jerked my head toward the empty desk. “Anyway, it’s not me you should be giving a hard time to. I’m late, but at least I’m here. What’s his excuse?”
Calisto grimaced. “I’m used to Griffin being AWOL. He’s always been like that. Do you think…?” He stopped suddenly, as if catching himself.
I raised an eyebrow. “Do I think what?” Calisto shook his head. “Go on,” I said. “Be brave. There’s only you and me here, and I won’t say anything.”
Spots of bright color appeared on Calisto’s cheeks, visible even with his naturally tanned complexion. “It’s just…” He waved a hand toward Griffin’s desk. “He’s here less and less these days. We cover nearly everything between us. Do you think we should be concerned? Maybe we should stage an intervention or something?”
“An intervention?” There was no keeping the amusement off my face. I propped myself against the edge of my desk, paying no attention to the pieces of paper that fluttered to the floor. “Interesting thought. And how do you imagine that going?”
More color flooded into Calisto’s cheeks. “What if he does something stupid?”
“Like what? Remembering where he works and actually turning up to do it?”
“You know what I meant,” Calisto muttered. “You know he…” He trailed off, unwilling to put the rest into words.
Strolling over to Griffin’s desk, I pulled the top desk drawer open and extracted the bottle inside. I held it up, the few inches of amber liquid still left inside it giving a satisfactory slosh as I shook it. “We’re talking about this, right?” Calisto dropped his gaze to his desk, pretending a fascination in a pack of post-its shaped like a leaf.
I put the bottle back before returning to my perch against my desk, a few more sheets of paper giving up the ghost to join the rest on the floor. “It’s sweet of you to worry about him.” It really was. Calisto had a sympathetic soul. Far too good for the line of work he’d found himself in. “But you know as well as I do that Griffin’s fine. He just refuses to toe the party line, and he likes a drink or seven.”
“Why does Cade let him get away with it? If you or I did that, we’d…”
“Get raked over the coals?”
“Yeah.”
I shrugged. “Well, that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it?”
“Do you think he’s got something on Cade?”
Calisto really was being very un-Calisto-like today. Someone must have slipped something in his coffee.
“Possibly.”
Calisto opened his mouth, presumably to put forward a theory on what that something might be. Unfortunately, the phone on his desk chose that moment to ring. He picked it up with a frown, a momentary pause following his greeting. “Yes, he’s here.” Another pause. “When?” He tilted his wrist so he could see his watch. “Ten minutes ago.”
I grinned at the lie. “Ten minutes had me being bang on time.”
He put the phone down. “Cade wants to see you.”
“And he thought he’d ring you instead of me, did he?”
Calisto’s frown deepened. “Yeah, that was weird.”
I levered myself away from the desk. “Don’t lie for me in future.”
“I was being nice.”
“I know you were, but he knows exactly what time I got here.” I lifted my ID badge and waved it at him. “Don’t go thinking this is all about security. When we’re in this building, Cade knows everything about us. When we have lunch, when we take a piss, how long we spend doing it. He’s probably got a little notebook on his desk with a section for each of us.” My eyes strayed toward the empty desk and I smirked. “Griffin’s notebook has a lot of empty pages.”
Calisto’s eyes had gone wide. Wide enough that I rolled mine. “I’m joking. Cade doesn’t keep notebooks. Why would he when he can pull it up on the computer, or even better get HR to do it for him so he doesn’t even have to lift a finger? But sweet as it is, I don’t need you covering for me.”
Calisto’s phone started ringing again, and I hurried toward the door. “If that’s him, tell him I’m on my way.”
With only two floors to go, I took the stairs. A summons to Cade’s office wasn’t unusual enough to ring any alarm bells, but it was still something I could have done without. Out of the three of us in the necromancy department, there were no prizes for guessing who had the most fractious relationship with our boss. Calisto was too damned sweet to make any waves. Griffin got away with murder for reasons unknown. And then there was me. John Averill—expert in not thinking before he opened his mouth, and someone who should have really clean shoes considering how long I spent with my foot in my mouth.
People frequently asked me why I continued working for Cade if he was such an ogre. The answer was simple. I’d tried going it alone for years, and the pay was worse and the hours were longer. Cade might be a pain in the ass, but he’d worked hard over the years for the contacts he had and it showed. The PPB had a reputation that meant most people would choose it over a freelancer any day of the week.
ID was required again at the top of the stairs, the sight that met me once I’d swiped it and pushed the door open never failing to bring a wry smile to my lips. If the rest of the building was swanky, then this floor was more like a stately home, with expensive paintings—at least I assumed they were expensive; it wasn’t like I knew the first thing about art—velvet couches, tall house plants that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a botanical garden, and the pièce de résistance, honest to god marble statues.
In among all that finery was a desk, the man sitting at it giving me a narrow-eyed stare as I bypassed the naked statue of a man wrestling a lion that left nothing to the imagination and made my way toward him. I stopped in front of him, offering my usual saucy wink. “And how are you this fine morning, Asher? You’re looking as gorgeous as ever.” He was. There was no word of a lie there. With his tall, lean musculature, platinum blond hair, ice-blue eyes, and perfect skin, Asher could have graced any catwalk or magazine cover, and they would have paid him handsomely for it. And instead, he’d somehow ended up as personal assistant to Cade Everleigh.
Asher steepled his fingers in front of him, displaying an ice prince persona that perfectly matched his looks. Gay? Straight? No one had the slightest clue. He might be the face of the PPB when Cade was busy, or pretending he was, but beyond that, he was a complete enigma. He’d appeared out of nowhere to replace his rather more matronly predecessor one day and had been here ever since. The last line of defense, in case all else failed between Cade and the rest of the world. And I doubted any trespasser would fare well against him.
Which begged the question why I went out of my way to be as flirtatious as possible whenever our paths crossed, especially when he wasn’t my type. My type ran toward tall, dark, handsome—and human. Not cold, with about as much emotional depth as a tomato. Yet, I could never stop myself from trying to chip away at that frozen exterior. I didn’t even know what would signify a win. A smile. A kind word. The slightest chink in his armor. “Cade summoned me,” I said when Asher just continued to study me with that same cool detachment.
“So I understand,” he said. He flicked a hand toward a row of seats in a silent instruction. God knows why there was a row of them when I’d never seen more than one person come up here at a time. I sighed as I took one of them. “Are you serious? He demands I come up here and then he makes me wait? What is that? Some sort of power move?”
“It is what it is,” Asher said evenly. Did this man ever get flustered? His finger hovered over the intercom button. “I could tell him you’re not prepared to wait if you’d like me to?”
I sprawled back in the seat and crossed one leg over the other to give the impression—hopefully—of relaxed indifference. “Whatever. I’d only be doing paperwork, anyway, so the longer he makes me wait, the better.”
Asher dropped his gaze back to whatever he’d been reading before my arrival had served as an interruption without a response.
At least a minute ticked by, sixty seconds long enough to have run out of fingernails to examine. Don’t flirt with him. You won’t get anywhere and neither would you want to, so it’s a waste of time. “So, Asher,” I said, waiting for his gaze to lift to mine before continuing. “What have you been up to recently?”
“This and that.” That was Asher all over. Never rude. Never anything less than civil, but also never willing to divulge even the tiniest snippet of information about himself.
I sat forward in my chair and offered him my most charming smile. “Ever the mystery man, aren’t you, Ash?”
“Asher,” he corrected.
“Oh, pardon me for trying to be friendly.”
“Consider yourself pardoned.”
Was that a flash of humor from him? Surely not. I must have been mistaken. I crossed my arms over my chest and studied him. “Would it kill you to give out a bit of information about yourself? How long is it since we first met?”
Asher sat back in his chair and regarded me without blinking. “I’ve been working here for two years.”
“Two years,” I said, “and I don’t know the first thing about you.”
“What do you want to know, John?”
My name on his lips was jarring. I couldn’t recall him ever using it before. “Are you married? Single? Gay? Straight? Do you have children? Where did you work before here? How did you get the job? Did you already know Cade? Is that why you appeared from nowhere? Where do you live? Why does no one ever see you leaving the building? Do you live here? Or, when nighttime comes, do you just stand in a corner like an android till morning?” All the questions came flooding out. At least I wasn’t flirting.
“That’s a lot of questions,” Asher said after a pause. “How about you pick one?”
“And you’ll answer it?”
Asher’s shoulders moved slightly beneath the jacket of his charcoal gray suit, his shrug like everything else about him coolly understated. “Perhaps. I guess it will depend which one you pick.”
Interesting. This needed careful consideration if I didn’t want to waste my question. Not the android one, obviously. That had been more of a joke. Did I really need to know if he was gay? What good would that do when I wasn’t interested in him? “Why does no one ever see you leaving the building? Or arriving, for that matter. You’re just here.”
Asher’s phone vibrated, his gaze dropping to it. “Cade will see you now.”
I stayed in my chair, shaking my head. “Oh no you don’t. You said you’d answer the question.”
“I said it depended on which question it was.”
“Dick!” I muttered as I rose to my feet. “You had no intention of answering it.”
“Your mouth will get you in trouble one day, John. You might want to bear that in mind.”
I pursed my lips as I passed Asher’s desk and made an exaggerated kissing sound. “No one’s ever complained about my mouth so far.”
No response, but then I hadn’t expected one. Asher didn’t lower himself to common insults. Still smarting from Asher’s brush off, I was a little too boisterous with the door, Cade spinning around from his position by the window. He didn’t waste any time on niceties and didn’t offer me a seat either. “You didn’t file your written report last week.”
For fuck’s sake, was that what this was about? I was good at my job, but that wasn’t enough. I had to dot the I’s and cross all the T’s as well. “Didn’t I?” I knew full well I hadn’t. The entire process always seemed so pointless. “Monday. Three jobs, which you know because you were the one who sent me on them. They all went smoothly. Tuesday. Two jobs. First one was a no-go because he’d been dead too long. Second was uneventful to the point of—“
“That’s oral, John, not written.” If it had been Asher, I would have made some sort of comment about giving good oral, but it wasn’t Asher, it was Cade, and it would be even more wasted on him than on the ice prince. If it wasn’t for Calisto and all the goodness that shone from him, I would have seriously questioned whether I was the only human who worked here. I couldn’t speak for the other departments because we didn’t really mix. Who wanted to hang out with a bunch of psychics who could probe your brain? Not me. Cade held my gaze. “Don’t leave here today without getting it to me.”
Narrowly resisting the urge to salute, I nodded instead. “Understood. I’ll email it to you.”
“Good.” Cade turned back to the window.
“Anything else?” He surely couldn’t have called me up here and made me wait just for that. That was a conversation we could have had over the phone. He would have just needed to call me instead of Calisto.
Cade let out a sigh. Only a small one, but it was definitely a sigh. “We probably need a conversation about timekeeping at some point.”
“Now?” I prayed for the answer to be no.
The pause that followed was excruciating. Perhaps Cade was as unenthusiastic about having the conversation as I was.
“No, not now, but soon.”
“Great!” I managed a smile. “I’ll look forward to it.”
I backed toward the door and made a hasty retreat before Cade could think of anything else. Asher didn’t lift his gaze as I swept past him. Sometimes I marveled at what a strange place this was to work in, but then could I really expect anything else when my job was bringing people back from the dead?
The Alpha's Cranberry-Kissed Omega by Lorelei M Hart
Chapter One
Hal
The week before Thanksgiving brought more kids in since school started. With the almost-year-round school schedule giving them the entire week off, parents tried to schedule their cleanings and fillings and since we were only open three days, they all had to cram into that time frame. Not that we minded, but by Wednesday afternoon, Dr. Patrick Chen, my boss, his assistant, Suzi, and I were more than ready for some time off.
And while they were done working, I had my other job to do every night starting tonight at the Moonlight Lounge. Usually I only played piano there three or four times a week, but the other entertainer was heading for Hawaii and her family for the holiday, and we always filled in for one another.
Still, at this point, I’d welcome any environment that didn’t involve screaming toddlers and cranky parents who were making them scream because they were in a rush to get to the market to buy a turkey. Apparently, they’d just gotten the memo that they should serve that on Thanksgiving.
To make matters worse, the pre-Thanksgiving night crowd at the lounge was a crowd in name only. It seemed even half-price beer and wine wasn’t enough inducement to bring the folks in. Hell, they were probably home making pies. Tomorrow was going to be even worse. With the twenty or so people scattered around the maroon leather booths and seated at the bar, there was no chance of missing the one omega I’d hoped to see.
He’d been in a few times, either by himself or with a friend, and he wasn’t without a date because he had no offers. He’d sit on a barstool and have a glass of cab, leaning against the bar and watching me play. Alphas approached him every time, but he waved them off. I couldn’t figure out his game. He seemed to enjoy my music, but never came and joined the crowd around the piano. Never called out a request or approached me when I took a break.
And since lots of guys wanted to chat up the piano player, I never managed to get to him, either. Okay...and because I wasn’t sure if he’d want me to and didn’t want to be embarrassed. Cowardly.
But this weekend, no more cowardly lion. The guy looked like an ad for surfing the waves in on a California beach. His sun-bleached hair was a little long, like getting it cut wasn’t a priority. He had deep-brown eyes and full lips that revealed very white teeth when he laughed at something his friend said. His usual tight T-shirts showed admirable upper-body development. Not like a weight lifter, everything just as it should be. If you were a hot beach guy, that is. The bartenders didn’t know a thing about him—a total rarity for those nosy parkers—and I didn’t want to keep asking because they liked razzing me about it.
The night fizzled to a close with not much in the tip jar and only one slightly inebriated alpha requesting a lot of Black Sabbath. Not that I couldn’t accommodate him, but it wasn’t really lounge fare.
Maybe my surfer boy was out of town with his folks. He sure wasn’t born and bred here, and those who weren’t cooking dinner for twenty people tomorrow were attending a dinner for that number, so the manager made the decision to call an Uber for tipsy-Sabbath guy and shut down early.
A dreary, cold late fall weekend seemed in my future. Awesome.
But once I drove home and climbed into bed, the long day and night overwhelmed me and I fell asleep right away.
Thanksgiving dawned bright and clear. At least I think it did. I didn’t wake up until nearly eleven and then had to scramble to get showered and shaved and dressed for the Friendsgiving at Patrick and his omega, Damon’s house. I didn’t really know why I was going. It was just another day for single guys who didn’t have any local family and especially single guys who had to work afterward.
But they were so anxious to have me, Damon so worried about me being all alone, that I’d caved. With my tremendous lack of cooking abilities, I’d been assigned to bring assorted olives and “fancy” paper napkins. As usual. It didn’t bother me, much. Nobody wanted scorched pumpkin pie or half-raw mashed potatoes, both of which I’d managed to create in the past. With a fine plan in place to grab what I needed at the store then hit the coffeehouse on the way to Patrick and Damon’s house, I climbed in my convertible and zoomed down the street.
The grocery store was mobbed. I’d made fun of the patients’ parents who didn’t know they had to buy a turkey on Wednesday, but I’d had no idea how many would be buying them at noon on Thanksgiving Day. Even with my lack of skill in the kitchen, I knew it took a long time to cook one of those big birds. What time were they planning to eat?
I stood in line at the olive bar and when I got my turn, grabbed two plastic tubs and filled them with the varieties that looked tastiest. Then, swinging my plastic basket by the handles, I headed for the paper products where I spent fifteen minutes trying to determine what made paper napkins holiday worthy vs. not holiday worthy. Finally, an elderly lady took pity on me and showed me the ones on the top shelf that cost five times what the others did and actually were called “deluxe.” I also picked up a couple of bags of ice just to be extra helpful.
There. I had accomplished my Thanksgiving Day shopping and filled with a sense of accomplishment, added a box of cookies decorated like pumpkins and pilgrims to my purchases.
I ate half of them standing in line at the self-checkout, starving and pretty sure I was going to be late.
Turned out self-checkout was not a good choice on Thanksgiving. People were buying things they bought only on that holiday. Oddly shaped vegetables and strange-looking cheeses. Most either didn’t have barcodes, or they were so messed up, the readers couldn’t handle them. And, frankly, since I hadn’t had coffee yet, I couldn’t handle any of them. If I didn’t want to show up at a meal where everyone else had made something amazing with nothing in my hands, I’d have dumped my plastic basket and left.
But I persisted. As I shuffled forward, I became aware that the store was playing Christmas music. I had nothing against carols, but felt they were best after Thanksgiving. Or at least after coffee. Finally, after two hundred ten years or fifteen minutes, one or the other, I was in purchasing position. I lifted the napkins from the cart and slid them over the reader and froze.
“Oh my gods…” A guy was heading out the door, and not just any guy. I couldn’t be sure from the back, but the man exiting had that same sun-streaked hair, tight little butt, and was wearing a jacket I’d seen on the guy at the bar.
“Sir?” The high whining pitch of the self-checkout assistant cut through my stasis. “Are you having trouble?”
“I…” What to do? I shoved the three items over the reader, figuring if I moved fast enough, my quarry would still be heading for his car. I swear I finished in under twenty seconds and was racing for the door, chased by the assistant holding the game cards I’d earned and didn’t want for their holiday sweepstakes.
Outside, I stopped and looked around, and my heart sank into my stomach.
He was gone.
Almost You by Skylar M Cates
ONE
Christopher
The ghost was annoying and in my way.
He hovered in front of me, blocking the trail I needed to take.
“You’re the psychic, right? A human who visits here? I want to hire you. I don’t have money on me, obviously. But if you find my family, they might. Maybe we could figure out a payment plan?”
“Medium, actually, is the preferred term.”
“You look more like a rock ‘n’ roll roadie than a medium.” He glanced at my leather jacket and ripped jeans.
I guessed the roadie part was ’cause of my burly size and the visible neck tattoos, which included a musical note. Or maybe it was my unkempt dark hair that skimmed my shoulders. Abby used to beg me to cut it. Said she wanted to see my blue eyes more.
Abby no longer had a say in my looks. Besides, I dressed for comfort when scouting ghosts for clients. The landscape in this realm was always changing, so being too dressy made no sense. Layers were key.
This ghost was my opposite: slender to my stocky, pretty-eyed and youthful to my street-smart and jaded. He was irritatingly handsome, even in death.
“I don’t remember my name.” He frowned. “But I must have a bank account.”
“Good luck accessing it.” I examined his threadbare T-shirt and scuffed sandals. Who was he to judge my looks?
He followed my gaze. “Yeah, my clothes aren’t the best. If I’d known this was my for-all-eternity outfit, I’d have dressed better.”
He locked eyes with me and smiled.
I didn’t smile back.
I’d had a crap year. Not business-wise—many people were contacting me for séances. I’d done guest spots on talk shows, had a few celebrity clients. Things were good there. No, the crap part was my personal life, which had left me exhausted to the point where escaping the human realm was a massive relief. I’d been hurt by my ex in ways I’d never imagined. Abby, who was so kind and loved everybody and everything, couldn’t love me anymore. What did that say about me?
I moved past him. I needed to go—in the human realm, I currently sat with my distraught client, and I’d yet to complete the job of contacting her dead father.
I doubted the ghost even saw the green path behind him. Ghosts had terrible perception their first days—they had to learn to use their five senses again.
“Wait! Please?” The ghost dogged my steps. “You’re the first to even talk to me here. I need help.” His face was etched with pain.
Fuck. It was a beautiful face.
Most newbie ghosts arrived frail with old age or sickly features, mostly around their tired eyes and saggy skin. Not him. He’d died in the prime of his life. He didn’t have a clue about death-mode versus altered-mode. After a while, the ghosts realized they could change appearance at will and were not stuck in death-mode. Immediately, they’d change to their younger, fitter selves. It was like having the best filter imaginable. No need for plastic surgery when you could make your nose smaller or cheeks sharper. A homely ghost or two would try altering things completely, but it rarely worked.
I couldn’t imagine this ghost improving on his looks, though. His lips were perfectly full. His dark hair and dark eyes, offset by his creamy skin, were the picture of good health.
And shit, why was I focusing on this?
“See ya around,” I said.
He went taut. “I can’t do this.”
“You’ll be okay.”
It might have been only minutes in the human realm, but my time was valuable. Not to mention, I didn’t like all these strange…feelings.
“God.” He ran a hand through his thick hair, ignoring my attempts to leave. “I’m fucking dead.”
“You’ll be okay,” I repeated, but softer.
He stared at me, wordless, scared as hell.
Fuck this.I would not babysit him. This beautiful ghost. I did wonder who he’d been on Earth, though.
Somebody popular, I’d bet.
Not on the fringe of things like me.
That would make it harder, if his life had been a happy one.
I’d dealt with enough ghosts to know that the transition was tough when you first realized not only the being dead part, but also the nothingness. Your past erased. No clichéd people to haunt, not when you couldn’t remember them. No memories of hate or love. Just an absolute blank. You had to accept it; that was the secret. But this newbie ghost had his giant doe eyes on me. And dammit, I caved.
“I can stay with you some more…at least until I spot my client’s father,” I told him with a sigh.
He nodded. I really fucking needed to be as hard on the inside as I appeared on the outside.
I tried to be firm, crossing my arms. “If I see him, I have to leave you.”
“How will you find him?”
“I have pictures of him from different stages of his life, and I know some intimate details about the guy, but my job is still like digging for nuggets of gold in a river of shit.”
He snorted. “Good description. This whole place is colorless shit. What’s your name?” He smiled again, his hopeful warm eyes shining. His body had relaxed since I’d promised to stay with him longer.
What a smile he had.
I’d met hundreds of ghosts, but none that lit up the nothingness like him. I couldn’t hold back this time, and my mouth curved slightly in return.
“Christopher,” I said.
Blood Kisses by Scarlet Blackwell
Chapter One
Bavaria, Germany, 1895
The place was crawling with humans. Vampires weaved around them, their cold beauty a stark counterpoint. The Schloss perched high on the rocks, looming sinisterly over the Bavarian forest and shunned by the locals. They said bad things happened there. They were right. Emil Meissner presided over it all. When he had one of his gatherings and you were invited, you went, no questions asked.
Severin Murnau pulled at his tight collar as he eyed new arrivals. He and Emil had history—five hundred years of it to be precise. Emil had history with all the vampires in Europe: he had made most of them, including Severin’s companion, Istvan.
Istvan caught Severin’s eye and smiled. Uncharacteristically pleasant for a vampire, he knew Emil better than most. They had been lovers on and off for the past hundred years. Severin didn’t know why either. Two more polar opposites you couldn’t find. Emil was all about control and domination. Istvan was laid back and at peace with the world, including humanity. He didn’t like to kill. Emil scorned him for it.
Istvan took two goblets of ruby-red liquid from the silver tray of a passing waiter and gave the man a lingering look. Human, his blood hot, rich and tantalising. Severin saw the same hunger in Istvan’s eyes as in any other vampire’s. He was no less of a beast, try as he might to rise above it. Nonetheless, Severin admired him. Istvan knew when to stop.
“He always outdoes himself,” Istvan said, indicating his glass, the beautiful guests, and the perfectly starched livery of the waiters. The somewhat drafty ballroom of Schloss Meissner was outfitted with silver decorations, strings of gas lights hanging from the walls and enough candles to burn the place to the ground. A string quartet played in one corner. On an erected dais, as self-proclaimed king, sat their host. Severin tried not to look.
“If you say so,” he said. Meetings with Emil were to be got through with gritted teeth. Far too often in the past they had nearly ended in his death. The first time they met, that was exactly what had happened.
Bremen, Germany, 1350
Emil had found Severin drunk outside a tavern in his home town. Everyone in the place was dropping like flies from plague and Severin swayed outside, clutching to the wall and wearing a ridiculous mask he had fashioned himself at home.
“That won’t save you,” said a scornful voice nearby and Severin lifted his head to see a tall, aristocratic gentleman in fine clothes.
Severin glared at him, drunk enough for a fight. The man stepped closer. His black eyes burned like obsidian. “However, I can give you guaranteed immunity if you like.” He smiled, showing two sharp fangs, and Severin started.
“I’m not that way,” he stammered as the man’s intentions became clear, because he’d only lain with women up until that point. But he had always looked at men and admired them in just the same way.
“Does it matter?” Emil said as he put an arm around Severin’s back and hunched him in close to the wall. “I think not.”
Severin stumbled. His head hit the wall and a helpful hand ripped his mask off and forced his chin up. He felt hardness against his hip a moment, the excited ghost of breath against his skin, before lips touched his neck. A flash of arousal shot through him, swift and shocking, and he clutched at the man’s coat, afraid and unsure.
Emil licked his neck. Severin groaned and a moment later the stranger gripped him roughly through his woollen hose, stroking his cock, squeezing.
Severin gasped and a moment later it was all over. He felt his skin stretch and break. His essence flowed into the stranger’s mouth and he bucked into Emil’s hand, light-headed and aroused against his will. Emil drank, swallowing steadily, and Severin held onto him as he grew weaker. Emil withdrew Severin’s aching cock. He worked Severin’s shaft hard, his palm rough and calloused and desperately exciting. Severin had never been touched by a man before. Nor had he been bitten by one.
The pain and pleasure mixed as one like nothing he’d ever known before. The ecstasy of being drunk from overwhelmed the knowledge that he was being murdered. Severin spurted into Emil’s hand with a cry and slithered to the ground, glassy-eyed, his heart labouring to a halt.
Bavaria, Germany, 1895
It was Emil’s fault that Severin now forever connected blood lust and human lust. It aroused him to drink and when he had sex, he longed to bite. The two needs were inseparable. It was Emil who had made them that way. Severin cast a resentful glance towards the dais.
King Emil sat there presiding over his subjects, on a jewelled throne no less, his suit made of velvet and his stiff collar pinching his neck. Severin would never deny the man was sexually magnetic, more so than other vampires. Tall and commanding, he wore his intense sexuality on his sleeve. He lay with both sexes, but preferred men. He was never short of a companion, vampire or human, and dominated his partners with an iron fist. Severin could testify to that.
He glanced at his friend who was looking at Emil too. Severin sighed. Istvan was his only friend. Vampires didn’t and couldn’t afford to have friends, but Istvan was different. He had picked Severin up when he was at the bottom and continued to hold him up. That was why his friend deserved better than Emil.
“Put your eyes back in,” he said good-naturedly.
A flush bloomed over Istvan’s pale skin. His amber eyes seemed misty. Nervously, he touched his chestnut hair.
Severin smiled and shook his head fondly. Perhaps he needed to find Istvan a mate to get him over this fascination with the dreadful Emil. His gaze took in Emil once more and sharpened with interest when he saw Emil was holding a length of chain.
Good God, the vampire had a pet attached to it!
A human no less—it was very popular among vampires at that moment, a pet on tap for blood and sexual services—a man kneeling on a silken cushion a few paces behind Emil, the chain attached to an iron collar around his neck.
Something prickled along Severin’s spine as he took in the pale, slight figure wearing an outfit of white silk that clung to his lean curves. The human’s face was downcast, delicate bone structure and sooty lashes emphasised by his cropped, glossy black hair. His small hands were folded together on his lap. He was motionless, barely breathing.
Severin reeled back, dropping his goblet.
It was the love of his life.
All You Need is Alien Love by Chloe Archer
CHAPTER ONE
Spill the TEA: Trustworthy Earthling Advice
Issue 1
Welcome to the inaugural issue of Spill the TEA: Trustworthy Earthling Advice—the Alliance’s new advice column for all of the recently or soon-to-be Earth-relocated, and those just simply coming for a visit!
I’m River Sullivan, aka KirklovesSpock4eva, the author of The Tentacular Tales of Captain Starblade and newly minted member of the Alliance on Earth—but here I’m your advice guru for all things Earthling related. Just call me Dr. TEA! I’m ready to answer all of your questions about humans, their customs and beliefs, and life on Earth in general.
Today, we’re covering an important communication topic: confusing euphemisms and double entendre. You know, where someone says one thing, but what they really mean is S-E-X.
And now, to our very first exciting query!
Dear Dr. TEA,
I’m new to Earth and finding it hard to acclimate to some of the customs here. A human coworker invited me to “Netflix and chill.” I thought this meant watching something entertaining on the Earthling Netflix channel together in a relaxing and “chill” environment. Side note: “chill” is a very intriguing word with so many different meanings I was unaware of. Case in point—imagine my surprise when I quite shockingly learned that the Netflix and chill expression is a euphemism for sexual congress! Needless to say, I was baffled when my colleague put the moves on me. I politely declined and hightailed it out of there like I had a Temerengi squadron on my tail. I’m not ready to try romance, let alone sex with Earthlings just yet. I mean, where does everything go, and how?!!
Now I’m nervous about facing my coworker again because it’s going to be very awkward. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Nopeing out of Netflix and Chill
Dear Nopeing out of Netflix and Chill,
Let me start off by saying I’m super proud of you for handling a situation like this so well! I can imagine how surprising that would be, and I certainly hope your coworker was cool when you said no. Consent is always essential when it comes to sex, but I’m sensing this was more of a cultural misunderstanding gone awry. No doubt your colleague thought you understood what they meant. If they weren’t aggressive or coercive about things, then my suggestion would be to have an honest conversation and tell them you didn’t understand what the term meant. You have several options here to make this believable.
You could claim that you’re from a foreign country. The downside to this is that they may want more details about that, which could prove tricky. Or, you could claim to have been raised in a sheltered environment of some kind. Now, this is where you need to decide whether you want to maintain a friendship with this person or have them stay away from you. If the former, you can say you only recently moved to Las Vegas after living your whole life in a very small rural community with spotty internet access. If the latter, tell them you grew up in a cult but you can’t share details without the Dark Order coming after you. That should send them packing!
Okay… now I’m second-guessing myself. There are some major weirdos out there for real who might really be into the whole “raised in a cult” thing. Hell, they might be starting their own cult! You don’t want to mess with any of that. Less is more and often best, so whatever way you go—keep it simple and easy to remember in case you have to tell it to multiple people!
Rainbows and good vibes,
Dr. TEA
River
“Come on, baby. Open wide for me,” I purr.
Kai flushes and tries to scowl but fails. “Not here.”
My sweet hubby-boo may try to resist, but I have him right where I want him. After all, I’m privy to all his deepest, darkest secrets.
“Of course you can. I know you want a mouthful of all this cream I have ready for you. You’re going to swallow it all down and beg me for more.”
Kai’s eyes turn molten amethyst and he licks his lips, unable to resist the temptation I’m offering him. I can see him starting to cave.
I leer. “That’s right. You can take it alllll for me, can’t you?”
Lips glistening and cheeks flushing, Kai slowly opens his mouth for me.
Heh. Score one for Sexy River.
I lovingly shove the entire chocolate-covered, cream-filled mini éclair I’m holding into my man’s mouth.
Kai bites down and lets out a filthy moan, his eyes fluttering shut with pleasure.
Do I know my boo, or do I know my boo?
“This birthday bash is turning out to be much kinkier than I expected,” Iris Genaro, Kai’s grandma, cackles around a large mouthful of chocolate lava cake. “I like it!”
My hubby-boo and his father inherited their sweet-tooth tendencies from this wild and wily woman, that’s for sure.
We’re celebrating Kai’s thirty-sixth birthday at a brand-new, all-you-can-eat dessert buffet, appropriately called Sinfully Sweet, that just opened downtown on The Strip.
Nothin’ spells lovin’ like feeding my man all the sugary and chocolatey goodness he could ever imagine.
I swear, the moment we entered this establishment and I took his blindfold off—cuz I’m all about the grand reveal—he started skipping from one buffet table to the next like Homer Simpson in the “Land of Chocolate” episode.
Only much sexier, of course.
Who’s a better partner than me? Nobody, that’s for fuckin’ sure!
Naturally, I’ve been helping him out by piling desserts onto little plates, lining them up in front of us, and then feeding him by hand.
Because I can.
And because he fucking loves it, no matter what feeble protests he might offer to the contrary.
I know how much of an aphrodisiac dessert can be for Kai. But we’re behaving for now—we are in public, after all. We’ll satisfy our other needs when we go home, and I have plans for my man once we get there. Ah, that’s what true love is all about—being comfortable enough to be weirdly kinky with your partner in ways you never would have imagined.
The supreme diva Cher would probably agree with me.
I select a chocolate-covered strawberry and hold it up to Kai’s eager lips. The simmering lust in those stunning eyes of his assures me that all my orgasmic wishes will be fulfilled when we get home.
Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
When I glance down the table, I’m not surprised to catch Ellie feeding Maddox big forkfuls of a slice of turtle cheesecake covered in gooey caramel, chocolate, and nuts. He looks just as blissed out as his son.
Ellie and I know how to keep our men satisfied.
I give her a covert thumbs-up and she returns it with a wink.
“I have a feeling I know who’s going to keep this new buffet in business,” Roxy says from where she’s seated across from us and basically planted right in Lu-Ren’s lap.
My former backup-bodyguard-turned-new- Team-ANAL-member wraps a possessive tan arm around Roxy. “The only dessert I’m interested in is you, sexy lady, when we head back to my place.”
Roxy practically dissolves into a puddle of glittery-eyed goo in Lu-Ren’s arms.
They haven’t been together long, but I have a good feeling about them. I’ve never seen Roxy this happy, and I think Lu-Ren’s pretty perfect for her. The multi-gendered alien—the universe is so freaking cool—treats Roxy like the queen she is and appreciates her for the fabulous, capable, and super talented woman she is. Seeing them together and all lovey-dovey fills me with all the warm fuzzies.
On my other side, Mal makes a pained noise and runs his hand over his face. “Your place? Don’t you mean my place? Gah! You two better not be getting your bodily fluids all over my precious, and might I add, expensive furniture.”
Roxy gives him a wicked grin. “Too late.”
I snort and send her an air high five.
Lu-Ren’s been staying at Mal’s house ever since they arrived to help keep me safe from my former—and now very dead—would-be assassin, Shilgar the Deadly.
Things were tense and I came a little too close to death that time for comfort. I owe my life to my badass mom, who basically came back from the grave, so to speak, and lopped off old Shilgar’s head.
Anyway, while Lu-Ren’s crashing at Mal’s house, Kai’s brother’s been living with my Uncle Benji and helping him out.
It gives me peace of mind because Benji kind of needs a keeper, and I already hung up my hat in that role after I flew the coop and created my own love nest with Kai. It also doesn’t hurt that Mal looks at Benji the way Kai drool-stares at a box of donuts.
Benji, who’s sitting on Mal’s other side, reaches out and pats Mal on the hand, making Kai’s brother do a good imitation of Roxy’s earlier goo-puddle transformation. “It’s gonna be okay, man. Bodily fluids are natural, after all. Besides, you can always have somebody steam-clean your furniture if you need to.”
Mal whimpers. “But my designer furniture…”
Benji side-hugs him and the look on Mal’s face turns blissful.
It’s kind of adorable, but I do feel for the guy.
After all, Benji is still mostly ignoring Mal’s interest in him or pretending to. However, I know for a fact Benji isn’t totally oblivious anymore. I’d say he’s shifted toward willful denial, but I don’t think that’s working as well as he thought it would. I’ve noticed subtle signs that Benji’s letting his walls down and getting closer to Mal on an emotional level. There’s definitely hope for the clear spark between them to blossom into something beautiful.
That is, if Mal can just be patient and go at Benji’s pace.
A few seats down, Iris cackles with laughter as she starts chowing down on a piece of chocolate cream pie, the lava cake now long gone.
I’m still having a hard time thinking of her as Kai’s grandma though. I mean, I know she’s elderly in terms of human years, but she looks barely older than Ellie since Iyarans live so much longer. She has some gray streaks in her dark hair, but her face shows hardly any lines. Needless to say, Iyarans age really fucking well.
I’m stoked that Kai’s going to stay smoking hot for ages. I mean, I’m certain he’s gonna be a silver fox with tentacles one day and I’m here for it—hell yeah. But knowing we can have more time together than most, given how much longer Iyarans and Quintharians live, fills me with all the happy feels. My only concern is how aging will actually work for me. Being half-Quintharian and half-human, I don’t know how much of my mother’s alien genetics will be dominant. We think I’ll have a lifespan nearly as long as Kai’s, but we don’t know for sure. All I know is that I don’t want to end up in a tragic Heather and Connor MacLeod situation like in Highlander, where I age and Kai stays eternally young and has to go on without me when I end up dying long before him.
That would just be cosmically unfair and I won’t allow it!
I turn to study my mom at the far end of the table, where she’s seated with my dad and smiling brightly.
Every time I see her, it still feels kind of unreal—but I’m also weirdly conflicted. For half my life, I believed she and my father had died in a car accident when I was ten. Now they’re both back after being on the run from intergalactic assassins for over a decade, and I don’t entirely know where I stand on all that.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m overjoyed that they’re alive and well and that I get to have them back in my life again. But at the same time, I have a lot of complicated emotions over the whole thing—anger, sorrow, and maybe a bit of lingering teenage emo-esque angst—that haven’t fully resolved themselves yet.
Benji and I are definitely in the same boat on that one, although I think I’m a lot closer to the shore of forgiveness than he is. After all, the poor guy raised me when we thought my parents were dead. We struggled to find our footing and survive their loss. It upturned both of our lives and left us with a lot of emotional baggage. We got through it all and things turned out well for the most part, but we had some difficult and challenging times over the years when we only had one another to rely on. And, of course, the grief over him losing his brother and me losing my parents never fully disappeared.
I’ve had some good heart-to-hearts with them, and I can honestly say the hurt is slowly starting to fade. For the most part anyway. Benji’s another story though. I can tell he’s holding on to a lot of anger and resentment. Someday, he’s going to have to air out some of his grievances with my parents and find a way to move past the lingering pain and sense of betrayal their fake deaths caused him and his parents. Purging all that negativity is necessary so that it doesn’t fester and eat away at him.
However, tonight is not that time. I’m one hundred percent focused on filling my boo full of dessert and making him blissfully happy on his birthday.
And in making sure he’s in the mood to reward my efforts with a good, hard fucking when we get home.
After all we’ve been through lately, from thwarting an intergalactic assassin to preparing for the Iyaran Sanctioning Ceremony, we deserve this.
I dip a donut hole on a stick in the chocolate fondue I ordered and bring it to Kai’s mouth. He grips my hand and studies me with hooded eyes as he lasciviously goes down on the donut hole, never letting his gaze leave mine.
Slowly, he sucks it into his mouth and begins to chew, licking his lips and moaning as he does so.
“Fuck yeah,” I whisper. “Swallow it whole, baby.”
I never thought watching a man eat dessert could make me so hot. But Kai revs my engine with just about everything he does.
Further indisputable proof that we are meant to be, baby!
“So, River,” Iris pipes up, interrupting the decidedly NC-17 direction my mind was going, “how is your preparation for the Sanctioning Ceremony going?”
My stomach does a good impression of the falling elevator scene in Speed, and I gulp. “Uh, it’s going well…” I trail off, and Kai reaches over to wrap an arm around me, squeezing me reassuringly.
He leans down and whispers in my ear, “We’ve got this. Trust me. Everything will be fine.”
That’s easy for him to say. Now that I’ve learned more about the three-day ordeal I have to go through for this Sanctioning Ceremony, I can’t help but think it’s some kind of bizarre test from the universe—or a weird version of alien hazing—to determine whether Kai and I have what it takes to stick together or not.
He’s promised me one can’t really fail the Sanctioning Ceremony per se, but Iris has definitely been putting the pressure on me to pass with flying colors. She has high hopes for me and her grandson. I only hope I can live up to them.
Since I’m not an Iyaran, I’ve had to solicit some outside assistance from various friends to prepare for the alien matrimonial trials I’ll be undergoing very freaking soon. I refuse to let Kai do all the work for this. After all, I fully believe in being an equal partner to him, and I intend to hold up my end of the bargain when it comes to our union.
No matter how weird things are undoubtedly going to get.
Thankfully, both Evan and Nirblob have come through in critical ways for me. With their help, I’m now feeling more confident I can make it through the ceremony and shine like a motherfucking superstar!
I totally want to wow everyone with how perfect I am for Kai, show them that he made the right decision in choosing me as his mate. Look, I’ve already had to deal with Fuckface Fabio, who thought they could snatch Kai from me. Anyone else who wants to mess with me better think twice before trying to get between us, or worse yet, put their skanky tentacles on my man. Not on my fucking watch!
Iris narrows her shrewd eyes at me. “The Sanctioning Ceremony is a sacred, ancient tradition among our people. I hope you will do the Genaro family proud.”
Despite her words, Iris has actually been a huge help to me too. She spent several sessions with me going over the details of the three-day ceremony and explaining what is expected from Kai and me during the events.
Let’s be real. I know I’ve never exactly won any popularity contests among humans, but I have a good feeling that I can win over the alien crowd that will be in attendance at this event—and I plan to pull out all the epic stops.
I grin at Iris. “Yes, sensei. I’ve taken all your education to heart, I promise.”
Kai immediately jumps in to further defend me, even though he doesn’t need to. Knowing her, I suspect Iris is just trying to get a rise out of both of us. She’s a bit cheeky like that.
“River will always make me proud and I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I don’t need a ceremony to validate what we have together.”
My chest gets all warm and tight as I gaze deep into Kai’s earnest eyes. Fucking hell, I love this man so goddamn much!
“Lighten up, Iris,” Ellie says, sprawled half across Maddox’s lap and rubbing up against him like a contented cat. “River’s the most amazing grandson-in-law you’ll ever have. Don’t doubt him and his total fucking epicness.”
I’m getting teary-eyed now, for reals.
I seriously lucked out in the in-laws department.
Sitting up straighter in my chair, I look directly into Iris’s slightly intimidating eyes and grin. “Don’t worry, Grams. I’ve got this.”
Her nostrils flare and her lips twitch in a faint grimace. “Grams…?”
I flash her my biggest, brightest smile. “As Ellie noted, you’re going to be my grandma-in-law soon. I figured I should give you a loving nickname, especially since you’ll be my only living grandparent. Well, the only one I have contact with anyway.”
My Quintharian grandparents can get fucked. After all, they tried to have me and my parents killed. To say they suck would be an understatement.
I bat my eyelashes at Iris. “Don’t you think that’s an awfully sweet gesture from your future grandson-in-law?”
She stares me down for a long moment and then throws her head back and laughs. “I like your moxie, River Sullivan. I haven’t known you for long, but I’m beginning to see why my grandson chose you for his mate.”
I glance at Kai, who flushes with obvious pride and puffs out his chest. “River is simply the best.” He speaks those words with so much conviction, and a hint of Tina Turner-inspired sass, that my heart starts to gush with feelings even more sticky-sweet than the caramel coating on a bite of cheesecake I feed him lovingly.
While he munches contentedly, I lean my head on his shoulder and sigh contentedly. “I love you too, hubby-boo.”
Iris crosses her arms and gives me a mock glare. “That said, while I appreciate the offer, a lady doesn’t care to be reminded of her age, and your nickname violates that sacred boundary.” Her eyes narrow. “You’ll call me Iris or get your ass whooped, you cheeky brat.”
I snort and lean down the table to pinky swear. “Okay, deal. But in exchange, you must tell me more about Kai when he was little. I want to know everything.” I waggle my eyebrows. “And I’d especially love to see any and all adorable photographic evidence.”
Iris returns my pinky-shake with enthusiasm. “You strike a hard bargain. Done!”
We grin at each other in perfect accord.
Kai makes a strangled noise and buries his face in his hands. “Save me now.”
Iris ignores him. “You’ll have to come over to Maddox and Ellie’s house sometime soon and I can show you all my holographic photo albums. I just so happened to bring them with me.” She winks at me conspiratorially. “There are some pictures of Kai’s first swim time that are my personal favorites. He was too cute with his little tentacles splashing about.”
Kai moans, and it isn’t the happy kind from earlier.
I rub my hands together gleefully. “Heck, yeah. I will definitely take you up on that.”
Mal sniggers as he sips his coffee. “Good luck with that, big brother.”
Kai narrows his eyes at him. “Your time will come. I’ll be more than happy to share childhood photos of you with your mate someday.”
Mal darts an automatic glance at Benji, who’s enjoying a donut and getting powdered sugar in his beard.
When he realizes Mal’s gawking at him, Benji blinks and gives him a dopey smile, his eyes still a little glassy from whatever edibles he indulged in earlier. “I bet you were real cute as a little kid.”
Mal blushes and sputters. “I… that is… well…”
Ellie sighs loudly, a fond expression taking over her face. “Both my boys were simply adorable when they were little.” She shakes her head sadly. “And now look at them. Where did I go wrong?”
I snort with laughter.
My mom suddenly pipes up. “Don’t worry, Kai. I’ve got plenty of pictures of River when he was a sweet little munchkin.” She winks at him. “I’m happy to share. After all, fair’s fair.”
Kai’s expression brightens, and I shrug with total unconcern. “I’m cool with that. After all, I was super stinkin’ cute as a kid. I have nothing to be ashamed of.” I arch an eyebrow. “Although, my hair was even wilder then. I just know you’re going to lose your mind over my baby curls.”
The dreamy look on Kai’s face is way too adorable.
I know him so freaking well.
Eventually, after we all finish our dessert, I stand up and get everyone’s attention. “Ahem! Thank you, everyone, for being here today and for indulging me in this little surprise party for Kai. We’ve been through a lot lately, but I wanted to make sure we were able to celebrate his birthday in style. He deserves to be celebrated every day—because he’s freaking awesome—but especially today. So, raise your voices, and let’s all serenade the birthday boy now!”
My sweet hubby-boo sits there, fidgeting in his chair, his expression reflecting ten kinds of awkwardness, as everyone at the table loudly sings an enthusiastic chorus of “Happy Birthday” to him.
He only has to endure this particular torture once a year, so he can suck it up.
Half an hour later, the festivities are over and we’re back at home.
Fortunately, my former royal bodyguard Chewy moved out not too long after we dealt with Shilgar the Deadly, which has made it a lot easier to do things like seduce my man in any room I want again! For now, he’s off on a much-deserved intergalactic vacation after over a decade without any time off.
In the kitchen, I push Kai back against the island and drop to my knees. Looking up at him, I lick my lips. “I do believe the birthday boy deserves another present.” I waggle my eyebrows. “Screw blowing out candles, I want to blow you.”
His pupils dilate and his breath quickens before he nods enthusiastically.
Heh. I am the king of birthdays.
With deliberate slowness, I unzip Kai’s pants, then pull them down to his knees, keeping him restrained and at my mercy. Just the way I want him.
Mwahahahaha!
Whoa. I totally channeled some of my inner Lord Vardox just then.
Kai’s eager erection is already standing at attention and just waiting for my tender, loving care.
But I take my time.
I gently fondle his balls first and Kai groans, his hips involuntarily humping the air. In response, I reach behind him and give his right ass cheek a light smack. “Patience, baby.”
Letting go of his balls, I wrap my hand around the base of his shaft, holding it steady for me. My eager tongue licks a stripe up the impressive length of him, and the tip of it traces the underside of the sensitive head just the way he loves. Kai clutches some of my hair with a sexy gasp. Fighting back a grin, I circle the glans, then flick my tongue against his wet tip and savor the salty taste there.
“Fuck,” Kai moans, and his eyes flutter closed.
Damn but he’s gorgeous.
“Later,” I promise.
Eventually, I decide I’ve teased him enough. That’s when I lick my lips, open wide, and swallow him down like a motherfucking champ.
“Dark matter and dammit!” Kai roars.
It’s taken me some time to get used to deep throating my hubby-boo, but I’m rather proud of the progress I’ve made. I put my hard-earned skills to use and swallow convulsively around him once his length is as far down my throat as I can handle. My reward occurs when Kai clutches my hair almost to the point of hurting and his thighs tremble with the effort to remain still. Bringing him to the edge of his control like this is a heady rush I savor fully.
With loving care, I worship his cock with my mouth until he’s wild with need. That’s when he pulls me off him and into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist while he ravishes my mouth with relentless hunger, leaving me breathless and trembling too.
“Bedroom?” I ask, my voice hoarse.
Deep throating alien dick will do that to a man, but I’m not complaining.
He moves to take a step forward and nearly trips over his pants still bunched around his knees.
I can’t help it. I giggle.
He gives me a warning look before he reaches down with one hand to pull them up while his other keeps a firm hold of my ass. We shuffle a bit awkwardly up the stairs to the bedroom, and Kai tosses me on the bed, making me sigh happily.
I watch as he gets undressed and stalks toward me, his eyes giving off sparks of desire.
We’ve been married for two weeks and our passion for one another hasn’t waned one bit. In fact, it just keeps getting more intense with every day.
I fucking love it.
It also helps that Kai’s episode of Tentaculum Calefaction has passed and he’s back to his normal self. Everything we do together now is something he wants, not something needed to sate his Mating Fever. Having control over himself again has made Kai’s desire for me supernova hot.
Let’s do the math. I’m a gay twenty-two-year-old man and in my sexual prime, I have a supersexy husband with a dick and tentacles to keep me hella satisfied, and we recently escaped a brush with death. All this adds up to me deliberately finding every possible opportunity to experience life-affirming lovemaking with Kai.
Marvin Gaye sang about sexual healing, and let me tell you, I am a believer!
I let Kai undress me, which I know for a fact he loves to do, and sprawl out like the wanton, willing husband—and geeky sex god—that I am.
Kai growls. “You drive me wild. I need you more than anything in this universe.”
Feeling especially naughty this evening, I sit up and provocatively position myself on my hands and knees, waving my fabulous ass at Kai. “Right back atcha, babycakes. Now, how about you fuck me from behind? I want you to pound me good and hard.”
He moans long and loud when he sees the butt plug I’ve been wearing for the last few hours. I wanted to be prepared for some hardcore fucking after I got my man all riled up with sugar, chocolate, and a blow job.
Like I said—King. Of. Birthdays.
Period.
Three tentacles burst out of Kai’s abdominal pouch with horny intent. He grabs one, its tip covered with its own natural, slick lube, which he uses to help coat his cock.
Kneeling behind me, he traces the tip of a tentacle around the plug in my ass. “You did this for me?”
I wiggle my butt. “Uh-huh. All for you, sexy.”
Well, and for me, but you get the idea.
His tentacle wraps around the base of the plug and slowly pulls it out of me, making me gasp at the momentary pressure and then the sensation of fullness leaving me.
“So beautiful,” Kai murmurs. “So perfect.” His cock presses against my very ready hole. “And all mine.”
He enters me in one long, smooth thrust that has me seeing stars.
“Ahhh!”
Two tentacles encircle my already shaking thighs and hold me steady as Kai starts to move inside me. The third one sneaks around my hip and circles around my cock to stroke me the way I like while Kai pounds my ass just how I wanted.
Nay, needed.
He changes his angle slightly and nails my prostate. I clench around him tight.
“Fuck yeah, baby!”
Kai grunts and continues to fuck me good and hard. No one’s ever been able to take me to the same dizzying orgasmic highs as this man. With his big cock inside me and his dexterous tentacle playing my cock like a Stradivarius, it isn’t long until my balls start to draw up.
“Gonna come,” I gasp.
“Yes,” he hisses between clenched teeth as his movements grow wilder.
Everything around me fades away and all I can focus on is the tight grip of his tentacle around my aching cock and the way his cock fills me just right. My orgasm builds inside me, and I strain to reach that magical finish line. I arch my back and cry out when I finally come, and my cock explodes with my release in several thick spurts.
Kai’s quick to follow. He lets out a loud shout of satisfaction as he comes.
His tentacles release their hold and retract as he collapses on top of me. I listen to his two hearts beating as I stroke his back lovingly.
“That was fucking epic. Or should I say, epic fucking.”
Kai snorts and nuzzles my neck. “You just can’t help yourself, can you?”
I reach a hand down and pinch his delectable ass. “You wouldn’t have me any other way and you know it.”
He draws back enough to stare down at me. I see our future reflected in his gorgeous amethyst eyes. “This was the best birthday of my life. Truly. Thank you.”
Lifting my hands, I cup his face with them. “This is just the beginning. There’ll be many more to come.” I grin. “And I’ll try to top each and every one!”
He chuckles and kisses me softly. “I’ve no doubt, my love. I look forward to it.”
With the tender care he always shows me, Kai carefully pulls out of me and I gasp as his come starts to trickle down my thigh.
“Fuck, I love that,” I tell him.
After all, I’ve never been shy when it comes to sex.
He repositions himself next to me and reaches a hand down to stick a finger in my tender, slippery hole.
I moan.
“Still sensitive, hmm?” Kai murmurs in my ear, then nibbles the lobe in a way that starts to wake up my spent cock.
His fingers play with me and gently stroke in and out of my body.
Once his Tentaculum Calefaction had finally passed, we stopped using condoms again. I’ve discovered I really fucking love the feel of his jizz leaking out of me. It makes me feel even more connected to my man. I’m not entirely sure why, but let’s just say it gets me stupidly hot.
“I like you dripping with my come,” Kai growls, his voice full of masculine satisfaction.
I arch an eyebrow at him. “I like you dripping with mine, too.”
He grins at me. “We’ll do that again soon. But for now”—he taps the tip of my dick—”it appears that you could go for a second round.”
There are advantages to being twenty-two, almost twenty-three. My cock is starting to harden again.
Kai’s lips brush against the sensitive shell of my ear. “Want me to tentacle fuck you?”
I shudder with need. “Oh, hell to the fucking yeah.”
Seriously, if you haven’t tried it, tentacle sex will blow your mind.
For reals, I could totally be a brand ambassador. Sign up now for Tentacle Temptations and boldly go where your holes have never gone before!
I’m sad far too few humans will ever get to experience the magic of multiple pleasure-giving appendages. But my hunky tentacled boo is all mine!
Kai shifts me to my side, so my back is to his front. He lifts my right leg up and behind his hip, leaving my entrance easily accessible to his eager tentacle.
I’m still soft and slick from our fucking, so his questing appendage slips inside me easily, wriggling around happily once inside my channel.
Sure, the first time we did this, the sensation was kind of weird. Different. But now I can’t get e-fucking-nough of it!
His tentacle moves deeper inside me, massaging my prostate on a mission from the galactic gods to give me an unforgettable happy ending.
I moan and start to stroke my cock.
Kai bats my hand away and takes hold of me in his much bigger, hotter fist. “Let me.”
I reach my arms up and back, wrapping them around the back of his neck as his tentacle fucks into me and he jacks me, already well attuned to the pressure and movements I prefer.
“You feel so fucking good. Don’t stop.”
“I’ll give you what you need. Now and always.”
And I believe him. I don’t know if I ever really believed in soulmates before I met Kai. But now I’m a full-fledged member of the cult, so to speak. This man is it for me. My perfect match and lifelong partner. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.
If only we didn’t have things to worry about, like the Sanctioning Ceremony and a possible alien invasion of Earth.
But those worries drift away as my body gives in to pleasure.
My second orgasm of the night isn’t as strong, but it’s still deeply satisfying. Kai’s tentacle continues to undulate inside me until my sensitive nerve endings can’t handle any more. Only then does he slowly withdraw it.
We kiss languidly for a long while. Kai’s tentacles pet me all over, showing me in their own way just how precious I am.
When we both start getting sleepy, we shift positions so Kai can spoon me from behind. We snuggle contentedly, his arms and tentacles wrapped around.
It’s when Kai starts to trail whisper-soft kisses along the back of my neck that I know he’s working up to discussing something with me. By now, I’ve learned his tells.
“So… uh… I want to do something for you. For us.”
Aww. My hubby-boo sounds nervous.
I turn in his embrace so we’re facing each other. “What’s that?”
He swallows. “I want to plan our honeymoon.”
I blink at him. In all honesty, I wasn’t expecting this.
“It’ll have to be after the Sanctioning Ceremony. And after we’ve dealt with other… pressing matters.”
I sigh and can’t hold back a scowl. “I’m real tired of others trying to fuck with our marital bliss.”
Aka, Layne Fucking Madison.
“Agreed.”
“Our honeymoon, huh?” I ask, getting back to the issue at hand. “You don’t want me to help you plan it? We could do it together like we did for the wedding.”
“I know that it is a very illogical desire I’m experiencing, but I feel compelled to do this for you. I won’t be able to rest easy unless I can.” He frowns to himself, clearly perplexed.
My heart starts overflowing with love like it’s a chocolate fountain.
Kai has always had a teensy bit of Vulcan about him. So stoic and serious. So by the book about everything. Knowing I’m the one person in this universe who can make him flustered and inspire such powerful emotions in him fills me with all the happy feels.
Kai flushes a charming shade of pink and lowers his gaze almost shyly.
Fucking hell. How does he just keep getting more and more adorable?
“I want to make it a special surprise for you. You deserve a honeymoon that is, as you would say, utterly epic.”
I grin. “I’m all about the epic. And not that I’m not honored by this desire of yours, but shouldn’t our honeymoon be something fun for you too?”
He considers this for a moment. “Iyarans don’t really have a tradition when it comes to honeymoons. It’s more of a custom among Earthlings. So I want to make it truly special for you. I’ll enjoy it because you will, I promise.”
The look he’s giving me is so hopeful and earnest I can’t possibly say no.
No one can melt my heart like Kai Genaro.
“Okay, hubby-boo. I’ll leave the planning in your very capable hands—and tentacles.” I kiss his chin. “But if you need help, don’t hesitate to ask.”
His answering smile is so bright it’s almost blinding. “Thank you. I won’t let you down.”
It’s a small thing for him to ask and I’m happy to agree. After all, I’d give this man almost anything he could ever want from me, and I know he’d do the same. Soulmates for the win!
Besides, I’ll find my own way to pay him back for whatever awesome honeymoon he’s planning.
I’m a competitive romantic like that.
H.L Day grew up in the North of England. As a child she was an avid reader, spending lots of time at the local library or escaping into the imaginary worlds created by the books she read. Her grandmother first introduced her to the genre of romance novels, as a teenager, and all the steamy sex they entailed. Naughty Grandma! Romance novels were forgotten for a while when real life got in the way: university, clubbing, work, moving to London, and more work.
When life settled down (slightly) H.L Day stumbled upon the world of m/m romance. She remained content to read other people’s books for a while, before deciding to give it a go herself.
Now, she’s a teacher by day and a writer by night. Actually, that’s not quite true—she’s a teacher by day, procrastinates about writing at night and writes in the school holidays, when she’s not continuing to procrastinate. After all, there’s books to read, places to go, people to see, the gym to visit, films to watch. So many things to do—so few hours to do it in. Every now and again, she musters enough self-discipline to actually get some words onto paper—sometimes they even make sense and are in the right order.
Lorelei M HartLorelei M. Hart is the cowriting team of USA Today Bestselling Authors Kate Richards and Ever Coming. Friends for years, the duo decided to come together and write one of their favorite guilty pleasures: Mpreg. There is something that just does it for them about smexy men who love each other enough to start a family together in a world where they can do it the old-fashioned way ;).
Skylar M Cates
Emotional, Roller-Coaster Romance
Skylar M. Cates loves a good, heartfelt romance, especially ones that are both steamy and emotionally satisfying. She is quite happy to drink some coffee, curl up with a good book, and not move all day. Her novels feature strong, passionate characters who care about their friends and family. Skylar loves to craft stories where people are challenged by vulnerable situations. Although lately the laundry room is the farthest place she has visited, Skylar still loves to chat with people from all around the globe. Contact her on Twitter, Facebook, or through her newsletter.
Scarlet Blackwell's jam is m/m enemies-to-lovers romance. Her stories are usually small town contemporary but she has been known to throw the odd historical or paranormal into the mix and a hot cop fairly often.
She likes unusual settings and atypical, flawed heroes. Her stories are dark and gritty and her themes are not for the faint-hearted, but a HEA is always assured.
Chloe Archer writes queer sci-fi and paranormal rom coms with laugh out loud humor because she’s all about bringing the funny-sexy back. Oh, yeah!
She currently call Minnesota home, but has lived abroad in places like Montreal, Edinburgh, and Tokyo. She’s hoping to relocate to Scotland permanently in the next few years if the stars align.
Chloe is a fur mama to two adorable Yorkies, Jasper and Teddy, and she loves them in a crazy dog mama kind of way. When she isn’t busy writing, she enjoys visiting friends and family, traveling, reading, binge watching movies and TV shows, and practicing her karaoke skills. She does a mean cover of Pat Benatar and Cher, or so she’s been told.
HL Day
WEBSITE / NEWSLETTER / CHIRP
EMAIL: h.l.day101@gmail.com
Lorelei M Hart
Skylar M Cates
Scarlet Blackwell
WEBSITE / NEWSLETTER / KOBO
PAYHIP / GOOGLE PLAY / iTUNES
B&N / INSTAGRAM / SMASHWORDS
EMAIL: scarlet.blackwell@hotmail.com
Deader than Dead by HL Day
The Alpha's Cranberry-Kissed Omega by Lorelei M Hart
Almost You by Skylar M Cates
Blood Kisses by Scarlet Blackwell
All You Need is Alien Love by Chloe Archer
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