Showing posts with label comedic mystery. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedic mystery. Show all posts

Friday, January 30, 2026

πŸ“˜πŸŽ₯Friday's Film AdaptationπŸŽ₯πŸ“˜: The Penguin Pool Murders by Stuart Palmer



Summary:

Hildegarde Withers Mystery #1
A dead stockbroker in a penguin tank leads Miss Withers to a shocking mystery

For the third graders at Jefferson School, a field trip is always a treat. But one day at the New York Aquarium, they get much more excitement than they bargained for. A pickpocket sprints past, stolen purse in hand, and is making his way to the exit when their teacher, the prim Hildegarde Withers, knocks him down with her umbrella. By the time the police and the security guards finish arguing about what to do with Chicago Lew, he has escaped, and Miss Withers has found something far more interesting: a murdered stockbroker floating in the penguin tank.

With the help of Detective Oscar Piper, this no-nonsense spinster embarks on her first of many adventures. The mystery is baffling, the killer dangerous, but for a woman who can control a gaggle of noisy third graders, murder isn’t frightening at all.

The Penguin Pool Murder is part of the Hildegarde Withers Mysteries series, which also includes Murder on the Blackboard and Murder on Wheels.




CHAPTER 1
What the Penguins Knew
TWO LITTLE BLACK PENGUINS were the first to know the secret. They became vastly excited, flashing their sleek black bodies through the water, and now and then coming to the surface to shriek Bloody Murder in a Galapagoan squawk. But for a time their intense excitement did not communicate itself to the greater world that lay outside the glass barrier of the tank.

Suddenly a woman's voice, reedy and shrill, rang against the ancient white-washed walls of the Aquarium. Even as its echoes died away, the figure of a frightened, rabbit-like little man scuttled past the dim corner under the stairs where the penguins were trying to blazon their secret. In his hand the fugitive clutched an oblong of black leather which all too evidently proclaimed itself to be a woman's purse.

His objective was a stair which led to the balcony above, but in his path there suddenly appeared the embattled bulk of a gray-clad guard. With a squeak like a cornered rat's, the little man whirled in his tracks and ducked back between the cases of stuffed exhibits, past the gaping and bewildered crowd. As he ran, there came from his bulging pockets a faint musical jingle.

The way to the main exit was clear now, though close behind him still pounded the heavy feet of the guard. The little man made a last frantic burst of speed—freedom was almost within his grasp—only to tumble ingloriously over a black cotton umbrella that dropped like a bar sinister across his path. His skull collided with one of the pillars, and for the time being the little man lay very still.

For a long minute there was a hush, and then Miss Hildegarde Withers, whom the census enumerator had recently listed as "spinster, born Boston, age thirty-nine, occupation school teacher," dusted off her umbrella and restored it to its place under her arm with a certain air of satisfaction.

"Serves you perfectly right," she admonished her silent victim. Then she turned her keen blue eyes on the milling crowd. "Abraham!"

A small sepian lad detached himself from the little group of third grade pupils who stood, awestruck and admiring, behind Miss Withers. "Abraham, pick up that handbag and give it to the lady."

Abraham obeyed with alacrity. The leather bag was eagerly seized by the woman whose shriek had set the echoes ringing but a few moments before, and its contents found intact. "I saw him trying to cut the handle with a razor blade," she was eagerly explaining to whomever would listen, "... and then he jerked it right out of my hand, he did."

The guard, fat and perspiring from his unaccustomed chase, took a firm grip of the prisoner's coat collar and jerked him into a sitting position. As he did so, three gold watches slid from the pocket and clinked musically on the tile floor.

"A pickpocket, huh?" said the guard.

"Quite obvious, even to the most limited intelligence," pointed out Miss Withers. "I guessed it myself."

"Stealing watches, too."

"Do they look like grandfather clocks?"

"We've got him, dead to rights," the guard mused. "Yes, mum. A case for the cops, I shouldn't wonder."

"Or for the ambulance, anyway." Miss Withers shooed her chattering charges toward the door. "Don't stand there like a log, my good man. Do something!"

The guard let go of his prisoner's collar, and the man slumped again to the floor. "I don't just really know what the official procedure ought to be in a case of this kind," he observed doubtfully. "The Director is busy with guests, and I know he doesn't want any publicity of this kind...."

"HEY!" A big bass voice boomed through the building like a husky fog-horn, clearing the crowd from the doorway like chaff before the wind. "Hey, there! What's all this fuss about?"

Six feet three of bone and muscle shoved its way belligerently through the crowd. "One side, one side, will you?" The policeman looked down past the two rows of shining buttons on his front to where the crumpled figure lay on the floor. Then he whirled on the guard, belligerently.

"Well, speak out, Fink! What is it? Alcoholism? Did you send for the ambulance?"

"Not yet, Donovan. And this is no alcoholism, it ain't. It's a pickpocket that I've nabbed." Fink held up the three watches as evidence. Immediately they were engulfed in the policeman's enormous paw. He bent over to survey the bruised face on the floor. Then he started.

Wetting his thumb, he whirled over the pages of a little black book that he took from his hip pocket. Finally he found a certain page, and read aloud with much puzzling over words....

"McGirr, John—alias Chicago Lew—height five feet three, weight one hundred and two pounds, wanted in Des Moines, Detroit and Chicago for petty thievery and picking pockets—" He replaced the black book in his pocket with a flourish. "It's him all right. We've been looking for this guy for two months, we have." He bent over the prisoner.

"Just you hold on there, Mickey Donovan!" Fink, the fat guard, stuttered with eagerness. "What about the reward, I wanta know? Is they a reward for this Chicago Lew? Is they? Because I lay claim to it, here and now. I want these people to witness it, I do. If they is a reward, I'm going to get it."

"Suppose there is?" Donovan put his hands on his hips and stared at the other. "I'm doing the arresting, ain't I? I'm the cop here, ain't I? I got the prisoner, ain't I? I recognized him, didn't I?"

The big policeman moved toward his prisoner again, but Fink thrust his face between.

"That don't make one bit of difference," insisted the guard. "Just because you're the flatfoot on this beat, Mickey Donovan, is no sign that you've got a right to walk in and hog the reward for this prisoner. He's mine, I guess. I leave it to anybody here, I do. Didn't I chase him through the place? Didn't I nab him here in the doorway? Didn't I ..."

"If there is any reward, I don't see why I shouldn't get it." Miss Withers left her little flock and strode forward, her umbrella held menacingly before her. Both Fink and Donovan drew back a step, as did the surrounding crowd.

"I stopped him with this umbrella, you know. He would have escaped if it hadn't been for me, and then this poor woman would have had to lose her handbag, besides the watches that were stolen from somebody...."

Immediately loud voices from the crowd announced that most of the gentlemen present had lost their timepieces, and that they recognized their property among the watches in Donovan's hand. The air became filled with strangely vague descriptions of the property, until Donovan silenced them with a roar.

"You can get your property up at the Police Property Clerk's office, if you can identify it to the Captain's satisfaction. Some of you never saw a watch before except in a pawnshop window. Leave off your jabbering, will you?"

"But I tell you, this man doesn't get taken out of here until we come to some agreement about the reward," insisted Fink. "Half of it, anyway. That I've got to have, Mickey Donovan! Half of it, or he doesn't go to jail. There's nobody here to make a complaint against him anyway...."

"Not a cent, Fink. You didn't know this guy was wanted anywhere."

"Half, I tell you. Why, do you think I'm maybe going to let fifty dollars slip out of my hands like nothing?"

"Not a cent, Fink. I saw him, and I knew him ..."

"Stop quarreling, you two!" The sharp and commanding voice of Miss Withers cut in with unmistakable authority. "Stop it, I say! Don't you realize that this man is hurt? He ought to be on the way to the hospital, and you know it. Suppose he should die while the two of you fight over the reward?" Miss Withers gestured dramatically with her umbrella. "You can't leave him there on the floor—"

Her voice died out in a thin whisper ... for he wasn't on the floor....

The pickpocket had vanished!

The spot where he had lain, so lifeless and inert, was very very bare. The crowd moved uneasily, each man staring into the face of his neighbor, and the surprised eyes of Donovan stared into everyone's ... but Chicago Lew had made himself scarce.

Somehow, while the two of them had wrangled over his body, he must have come to his senses and wormed his way, like the scared rabbit he was, out of these walls which had been his Happy Hunting Ground all morning. But nobody had seen him go.

Donovan reached the door in two great strides, upsetting an onlooker and several of the school children in his dash. But Battery Park stretched empty before him ... empty of Chicago Lew, if not of the usual crowd of idlers.

"He's gone," observed Donovan. "Damned if he isn't gone."

"He's gone, and the reward with him," moaned Fink. He mopped his brow.

Miss Withers marshaled her thrilled and delighted charges into line. "We'll go now, children," she ordered. "Isidore, there's no use trying to make that policeman believe that you own one of the watches in his hand, because both he and I know that you don't. Jimmy Dooley, stop whispering. It's time to go home, and you can't play around here any longer. We came to see fish, not anything so exciting as this. I ..."

Her hand went, out of habit, to arrange the blue beaded hat which rested like the stopper of a bottle on her angular frame. And Miss Withers gasped.

"Children, my hatpin! It's gone!" Her fingers felt feverishly through her hair. "It's the most treasured possession I have, and I wouldn't lose it for the world. My mother gave it to me years ago, and it has a genuine garnet set in it. It's the pickpocket, that's what it is. He took it!"

Donovan, who had been standing disjointedly at the door, shook his head ponderously. "A pickpocket wouldn't go for stealing anything like that, mum. He couldn't hide it, you know, and it wouldn't go in his pocket. They don't bother with such junk as that, just watches and money...."

"And a fine lot you know about it, to let one slip out of your fingers like that," Miss Withers pointed out acidly. "If the pickpocket didn't take it, I'd like to know who did?"

"Teacher!" A plump hand waved wildly above a dark bob. "Teacher ..."

"What is it, Becky?"

"Teacher, I saw your pretty red pin when we were coming in this morning, and it was sticking way out of the hat on one side...." Becky subsided. "Maybe you lost it?"

"Maybe I did," said Miss Withers. "Well, I certainly wouldn't ask either of these gentlemen in uniform to find it for me. Because if they did, they'd lose it again in an argument. Children, you'll have to help me. Use your bright little eyes, and go on back over everywhere we've been here in the Aquarium and try to find it. And the first to spy it gets a prize!"

"What sort of a prize, Teacher?" The question came as a chorus.

Miss Withers thought a moment. "How about a brand-new dictionary?" There was a silence which denoted a certain lack of enthusiasm.

"Well then, if you'd rather, the prize might be a ticket to any play the finder would like to see," amended the wily lady. She knew her children. They scattered with a rush, but she called them back.

"That's not the way to look," she explained. "You must go, all together, starting just where we did when we came in this morning. Then we'll be sure to find the hatpin unless someone has picked it up." She cast a suspicious look at the crowd, which was already melting away. Donovan and Fink still eyed one another hostilely.

"At least you won't have to fight over the reward any more," she gave as a parting shot, and then the search began. The children went eagerly on ahead, while Miss Withers dropped back.

Slowly they moved across the vast circle of the Aquarium, stopping at each tank and showcase just as they had done on the first round of the place, when Miss Withers had given a brief lecture on every point of nature study which she wished to bring out. Past the eels, past the flaming tropical fish, past the tortoises, the crocodiles, and the flashing schools of minnows. Across the great circle of the room, up the stair, along the great half- moon of a balcony, and down again....

Still no hatpin. No bright flash from the garnet stone which had once been given to the middle-aged teacher in the days when she was beginning to be a teacher and not even beginning to be middle-aged. No sign of the old-fashioned, beloved hatpin. A dozen pairs of eager eyes scoured the floor and the corners.

Down the balcony stairs again, with little black Abraham going on his hands and knees. Abraham had been stage struck ever since his mother's cousin played the part of the Lord God in Green Pastures, and he was determined to find the hatpin if it was to be found. It must be somewhere, and he wanted to win the prize.

Eureka! There it was, at the bottom of the steps! The dark-red stone was intact, the shiny steel undimmed. Miss Withers remembered, as she hurried up, that she had put back a wisp of her hair as they passed this way before. She made a mental apology to the absent Mr. Chicago Lew, who certainly hadn't picked her as a victim after all, in spite of appearances.

She graciously accepted the relic from the hand of proud Abraham Lincoln Washington and replaced it carefully in her blue beaded hat.

"Good boy, Abraham. The prize is yours," she announced. "And now we've got to hurry, children. It must be nearly one o'clock, and I'm getting hungry...."

Rapidly she counted noses, and found a considerable lack. "Isidore!"

There was no answer. She heard the hum of voices and movements through the building, and from the main doorway the excited tones of Fink, still explaining to the departing back of Officer Donovan why he was entitled to the reward if there was one and if the prisoner hadn't escaped.

Miss Withers called again. "Isidore! Isidore Marx!"

"Yis, teacher." A piping voice sounded from behind the stair. Miss Withers peered into the corner.

Isidore was staring at the penguins again. "Come along, Isidore. We're half an hour late now. This nature study class isn't supposed to take all day, you know. Hurry!"

But Isidore didn't budge. His nose was pressed tight against the glass of the last tank in the line, the tank hidden in the shadow of the stair down which they had come.

"Teacher, dese ducks act so funny!"

"I told you before, Isidore, that those are not ducks, they are penguins. See, they don't look like ducks! Those are black penguins, from the Galapagos Islands down off the western coast of Central America. Now don't bother about them any more, come along...."

But Isidore didn't move. "Look teacher how dese penguins hop up and down!"

Miss Withers was unusually tolerant, for she had just recovered a treasured keepsake. But she had arrived at the limit of her patience.

"Isidore Marx, you mind me!" she ordered in a voice that would ordinarily have sent any one of her group into tremors. And Miss Withers advanced, her umbrella held ready for action. But even as her hand fell on Isidore's shoulder, something caught her keen eye.

The little black penguins were swimming as they had not done when she pointed them out to the group of children an hour before. They were dashing madly around the tank, now and then leaping high out of the water to squawk and snap their pointed bills in the darkness of the hidden space above them. Miss Withers, peering through the glass, could only sense that something had excited them....

She stared up through the water, into the obscurity of the inner chamber. As she watched, something happened which made her wipe her glasses furiously.

The two little black penguins were fighting something, snapping and biting viciously at something ... something which was beginning to slide down upon them....

A dark and shapeless horror lowered itself with a rush, amid the frightened squawking of the frantic birds ... a dark horror which crashed into the water of the square tank like an awkward diver ... a twisted, nameless horror that made the water boil and the penguins scramble madly up the steep sides of the tank....

The water subsided and became clear again. Miss Withers realized that her lips were very dry, and quick as thought she pushed Isidore behind her. For she realized that she was staring into a human face ... a face in the water....

That face had something wrong with it. Something very wrong with it, she knew. It was the face of a dead man, and it was upside down. From the right ear a blur of blood, like a misty coral earring, was dissolving slowly....



A feisty school teacher sets out to solve a murder in an aquarium.

Release Date: December 9, 1932
Release Time: 70 minutes

Director: George Archainbaud

Cast:
Edna May Oliver as Hildegarde Withers
Robert Armstrong as Barry Costello
James Gleason as Inspector Oscar Piper
Mae Clarke as Gwen Parker
Donald Cook as Philip Seymour
Edgar Kennedy as Policeman Donovan
Clarence Wilson as Bertrand B. Hemingway
James Donlan as Security Guard Fink
Gustav von Seyffertitz as Dr. Von Donnen
Joe Hermano as Chicago Lew
Guy Usher as Gerald Parker
Rochelle Hudson as Telephone Operator
Wilfrid North as The Judge

















Stuart Palmer
Stuart Palmer (1905–1968) was an American author of mysteries. Born in Baraboo, Wisconsin, Palmer worked a number of odd jobs—including apple picking, journalism, and copywriting—before publishing his first novel, the crime drama Ace of Jades, in 1931. It was with his second novel, however, that he established his writing career: The Penguin Pool Murder introduced Hildegarde Withers, a schoolmarm who, on a field trip to the New York Aquarium, discovers a dead body in the pool. Withers was an immensely popular character, and went on to star in thirteen more novels, including Miss Withers Regrets (1947) and Nipped in the Bud (1951). A master of intricate plotting, Palmer found success writing for Hollywood, where several of his books, including The Penguin Pool Murder, were filmed by RKO Pictures Inc.


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The Penguin Pool Murder #1
Hildegarde Withers Series
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Friday, February 28, 2025

πŸŽ¬πŸŽ­πŸ“˜πŸŽ₯Friday's Film AdaptationπŸŽ₯πŸ“˜πŸŽ­πŸŽ¬: The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett



Summary:
Nick and Nora Charles are Hammett's most enchanting creations, a rich, glamorous couple who solve homicides in between wisecracks and martinis. At once knowing and unabashedly romantic, The Thin Man is a murder mystery that doubles as a sophisticated comedy of manners.



Original Review December 2017:
It's been over 20 years since I read this book but it was definitely an enjoyable read.  Nick and Nora are the epitome of romantic comedic detectives.  The pair has the kind of relationship we all hope to find.

RATING:


Chapter One

I was leaning against the bar in a speakeasy on Fifty-second Street, waiting for Nora to finish her Christmas shopping, when a girl got up from the table where she had been sitting with three other people and came over to me. She was small and blonde, and whether you looked at her face or at her body in powder-blue sports clothes, the result was satisfactory. "Aren't you Nick Charles?" she asked.

I said: "Yes."

She held out her hand. "I'm Dorothy Wynant. You don't remember me, but you ought to remember my father, Clyde Wynant. You-"

"Sure," I said, "and I remember you now, but you were only a kid of eleven or twelve then, weren't you?"

"Yes, that was eight years ago. Listen: remember those stories you told me? Were they true?"

"Probably not. How is your father?"

She laughed. "I was going to ask you. Mamma divorced him, you know, and we never hear from him-except when he gets in the newspapers now and then with some of his carryings on. Don't you ever see him?"

My glass was empty. I asked her what she would have to drink, she said Scotch and soda. I ordered two of them and said: "No, I've been living in San Francisco."

She said slowly: "I'd like to see him. Mamma would raise hell if she found it out, but I'd like to see him."

"Well?"

"He's not where we used to live, on Riverside Drive, and he's not in the phone book or city directory."

"Try his lawyer," I suggested.

Her face brightened. "Who is he?"

"It used to be a fellow named Mac-something-or-other-Macaulay, that's it, Herbert Macaulay. He was in the Singer Building."

"Lend me a nickel," she said, and went out to the telephone. She came back smiling. "I found him. He's just round the corner on Fifth Avenue."

"Your father?"

"The lawyer. He says my father's out of town. I'm going round to see him." She raised her glass to me. "Family reunions. Look, why don't-"

Asta jumped up and punched me in the belly with her front feet. Nora, at the end of the leash, said: "She's had a swell afternoon-knocked over a table of toys at Lord & Taylor's, scared a fat woman silly by licking her leg in Saks's, and's been patted by three policemen."

I made introductions. "My wife, Dorothy Wynant. Her father was once a client of mine, when she was only so high. A good guy, but screwy."

"I was fascinated by him," Dorothy said, meaning me, "a real live detective, and used to follow him around making him tell me about his experiences. He told me awful lies, but I believed every word."

I said: "You look tired, Nora."

"I am. Let's sit down."

Dorothy Wynant said she had to go back to her table. She shook hands with Nora; we must drop in for cocktails, they were living at Courtland, her mother's name was Jorgensen now. We would be glad to and she must come see us some time, we were at the Normandie and would be in New York for another week or two. Dorothy patted the dog's head and left us.

We found a table. Nora said: "She's pretty."

"If you like them like that."

She grinned at me. "You got types?"

"Only you, darling-lanky brunettes with wicked jaws."

"And how about the red-head you wandered off with at the Quinns' last night?"

"That's silly," I said. "She just wanted to show me some French etchings."


2
The next day Herbert Macaulay telephoned me. "Hello, I didn't know you were back in town till Dorothy Wynant told me. How about lunch?"

"What time is it?"

"Half past eleven. Did I wake you up?"

"Yes," I said, "but that's all right. Suppose you come up here for lunch: I've got a hangover and don't feel like running around much. . . . O.K., say one o'clock." I had a drink with Nora, who was going out to have her hair washed, then another after a shower, and was feeling better by the time the telephone rang again. A female voice asked: "Is Mr. Macaulay there?"

"Not yet."

"Sorry to trouble you, but would you mind asking him to call his office as soon as he gets there? It's important." I promised to do that.

Macaulay arrived about ten minutes later. He was a big curly-haired, rosy-cheeked, rather good-looking chap of about my age-forty-one-though he looked younger. He was supposed to be a pretty good lawyer. I had worked on several jobs for him when I was living in New York and we had always got along nicely. Now we shook hands and patted each other's backs, and he asked me how the world was treating me, and I said, "Fine," and asked him and he said, "Fine," and I told him to call his office.

He came away from the telephone frowning. "Wynant's back in town," he said, "and wants me to meet him."

I turned around with the drinks I had poured. "Well, the lunch can-"

"Let him wait," he said, and took one of the glasses from me.

"Still as screwy as ever?"

"That's no joke," Macaulay said solemnly. "You heard they had him in a sanatorium for nearly a year back in '29?"

"No."

He nodded. He sat down, put his glass on a table beside his chair, and leaned towards me a little. "What's Mimi up to, Charles?"

"Mimi? Oh, the wife-the ex-wife. I don't know. Does she have to be up to something?"

"She usually is," he said dryly, and then very slowly, "and I thought you'd know."

So that was it. I said: "Listen, Mac, I haven't been a detective for six years, since 1927." He stared at me. "On the level," I assured him, "a year after I got married, my wife's father died and left her a lumber mill and a narrow-gauge railroad and some other things and I quit the Agency to look after them. Anyway I wouldn't be working for Mimi Wynant, or Jorgensen, or whatever her name is-she never liked me and I never liked her."

"Oh, I didn't think you-" Macaulay broke off with a vague gesture and picked up his glass. When he took it away from his mouth, he said: "I was just wondering. Here Mimi phones me three days ago-Tuesday-trying to find Wynant; then yesterday Dorothy phones, saying you told her to, and comes around, and-I thought you were still sleuthing, so I was wondering what it was all about."

"Didn't they tell you?"

"Sure-they wanted to see him for old times' sake. That means a lot."

"You lawyers are a suspicious crew," I said. "Maybe they did-that and money. But what's the fuss about? Is he in hiding?"

Macaulay shrugged. "You know as much about it as I do. I haven't seen him since October." He drank again. "How long are you going to be in town?"

"Till after New Year's," I told him and went to the telephone to ask room service for menus.

3
Nora and I went to the opening of Honeymoon at the Little Theatre that night and then to a party given by some people named Freeman or Fielding or something. I felt pretty low when she called me the next morning. She gave me a newspaper and a cup of coffee and said: "Read that."

I patiently read a paragraph or two, then put the paper down and took a sip of coffee. "Fun's fun," I said, "but right now I'd swap you all the interviews with Mayor-elect O'Brien ever printed-and throw in the Indian picture-for a slug of whis-"

"Not that, stupid." She put a finger on the paper. "That."

INVENTOR'S SECRETARY 
MURDERED IN APARTMENT 
Julia Wolf's bullet-riddled body found; 
Police seek her employer, Clyde Wynant 

The bullet-riddled body of Julia Wolf, thirty-two-year old confidential secretary to Clyde Miller Wynant, well-known inventor, was discovered late yesterday afternoon in the dead woman's apartment at 411 East Fifty-fourth St. by Mrs. Christian Jorgensen, divorced wife of the inventor, who had gone there in an attempt to learn her former husband's present address.

Mrs. Jorgensen, who returned Monday after a six-year stay in Europe, told police that she heard feeble groans when she rang the murdered woman's door-bell, whereupon she notified an elevator boy, Mervin Holly, who called Walter Meany, apartment-house superintendent. Miss Wolf was lying on the bedroom floor with four .32-caliber bullet-wounds in her chest when they entered the apartment, and died without having recovered consciousness before police and medical aid arrived.

Herbert Macaulay, Wynant's attorney, told the police that he had not seen the inventor since October. He stated that Wynant called him on the telephone yesterday and made an appointment, but failed to keep it; and disclaimed any knowledge of his client's whereabouts. Miss Wolf, Macaulay stated, had been in the inventor's employ for the past eight years. The attorney said he knew nothing about the dead woman's family or private affairs and could throw no light on her murder.

The bullet-wounds could not have been self-inflicted, according to . . .

The rest of it was the usual police department handout.

"Do you suppose he killed her?" Nora asked when I put the paper down again.

"Wynant? I wouldn't be surprised. He's batty as hell."

"Did you know her?"

"Yes. How about a drop of something to cut the phlegm?"

"What was she like?"

"Not bad," I said. "She wasn't bad-looking and she had a lot of sense and a lot of nerve-and it took both to live with that guy."

"She lived with him?"

"Yes. I want a drink, please. That is, it was like that when I knew them."

"Why don't you have some breakfast first? Was she in love with him or was it just business?"

"I don't know. It's too early for breakfast."

When Nora opened the door to go out, the dog came in and put her front feet on the bed, her face in my face. I rubbed her head and tried to remember something Wynant had once said to me, something about women and dogs. It was not the woman-spaniel-walnut-tree line. I could not remember what it was, but there seemed to be some point in trying to remember. Nora returned with two drinks and another question: "What's he like?"

"Tall-over six feet-and one of the thinnest men I've ever seen. He must be about fifty now, and his hair was almost white when I knew him. Usually needs a haircut, ragged brindle mustache, bites his fingernails." I pushed the dog away to reach for my drink.

"Sounds lovely. What were you doing with him?"

"A fellow who'd worked for him accused him of stealing some kind of invention from him. Rosewater was his name. He tried to shake Wynant down by threatening to shoot him, bomb his house, kidnap his children, cut his wife's throat-I don't know what all-if he didn't come across. We never caught him-must've scared him off. Anyway, the threats stopped and nothing happened."

Nora stopped drinking to ask: "Did Wynant really steal it?"

"Tch, tch, tch," I said. "This is Christmas Eve: try to think good of your fellow man."

4
That afternoon I took Asta for a walk, explained to two people that she was a Schnauzer and not a cross between a Scottie and an Irish terrier, stopped at Jim's for a couple of drinks, ran into Larry Crowley, and brought him back to the Normandie with me. Nora was pouring cocktails for the Quinns, Margot Innes, a man whose name I did not catch, and Dorothy Wynant. Dorothy said she wanted to talk to me, so we carried our cocktails into the bedroom.

She came to the point right away. "Do you think my father killed her, Nick?"

"No," I said. "Why should I?"

"Well, the police have- Listen, she was his mistress, wasn't she?"

I nodded. "When I knew them."

She stared at her glass while saying, "He's my father. I never liked him. I never liked Mamma." She looked up at me. "I don't like Gilbert." Gilbert was her brother.

"Don't let that worry you. Lots of people don't like their relatives."

"Do you like them?"

"My relatives?"

"Mine." She scowled at me. "And stop talking to me as if I was still twelve."

"It's not that," I explained. "I'm getting tight."

"Well, do you?"

I shook my head. "You were all right, just a spoiled kid. I could get along without the rest of them."

"What's the matter with us?" she asked, not argumentatively, but as if she really wanted to know.

"Different things. Your-"

Harrison Quinn opened the door and said: "Come on over and play some Ping-Pong, Nick."

"In a little while."

"Bring Beautiful along." He leered at Dorothy and went away.

She said: "I don't suppose you know Jorgensen."

"I know a Nels Jorgensen."

"Some people have all the luck. This one's named Christian. He's a honey. That's Mamma-divorces a lunatic and marries a gigolo." Her eyes became wet. She caught her breath in a sob and asked: "What am I going to do, Nick?" Her voice was a frightened child's.

I put an arm around her and made what I hoped were comforting sounds. She cried on my lapel. The telephone beside the bed began to ring. In the next room "Rise and Shine" was coming through the radio. My glass was empty. I said: "Walk out on them."

She sobbed again. "You can't walk out on yourself."

"Maybe I don't know what you're talking about."

"Please don't tease me," she said humbly.

Nora, coming in to answer the telephone, looked questioningly at me. I made a face at her over the girl's head. When Nora said "Hello" into the telephone, the girl stepped quickly back away from me and blushed. "I-I'm sorry," she stammered, "I didn't-"

Nora smiled sympathetically at her. I said: "Don't be a dope." The girl found her handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes with it.

Nora spoke into the telephone. "Yes . . .  I'll see if he's in. Who's calling, please?" She put a hand over the mouthpiece and addressed me: "It's a man named Norman. Do you want to talk to him?"

I said I didn't know and took the telephone. "Hello."

A somewhat harsh voice said: "Mr. Charles? . . . Mr. Charles, I understand that you were formerly connected with the Trans-American Detective Agency."

"Who is this?" I asked.

"My name is Albert Norman, Mr. Charles, which probably means nothing to you, but I would like to lay a proposition before you. I am sure you will--"

"What kind of a proposition?"

"I can't discuss it over the phone, Mr. Charles, but if you will give me half an hour of your time, I can promise--"

"Sorry," I said. "I'm pretty busy and--"

"But, Mr. Charles, this is--"

Then there was a loud noise: it could have been a shot or something falling or anything else that would make a loud noise. I said, "Hello," a couple of times, got no answer, and hung up.



A husband-and-wife detective team takes on the search for a missing inventor and almost get killed for their efforts.

Release date: May 25, 1934
Running time: 93 minutes

Director: WS Van Kyke

Cast:
William Powell as Nick Charles
Myrna Loy as Nora Charles
Skippy as Asta
Maureen O'Sullivan as Dorothy Wynant
Nat Pendleton as Lt. John Guild
Minna Gombell as Mimi Wynant Jorgenson
Porter Hall as Herbert MacCaulay
Henry Wadsworth as Tommy
William Henry as Gilbert Wynant
Harold Huber as Arthur Nunheim
Cesar Romero as Chris Jorgenson
Natalie Moorhead as Julia Wolf
Edward Ellis as Clyde Wynant
Edward Brophy as Joe Morelli

Awards:
7th Academy Awards - February 27, 1935
Best Picture - Nominated
Best Actor - William Powell - Nominated
Best Adapted Screenplay - Albert Hackett & Frances Goodrich - Nominated
Best Director -  WS Van Dyke - Nominated

Sequels:
After the Thin Man (1936)
Another Thin Man (1939)
Shadow of the Thin Man (1941)
The Thin Man Goes Home (1945)
Song of the Thin Man (1947)




Nick Charles: Oh, it's all right, Joe. It's all right. It's my dog. And, uh, my wife.
Nora Charles: Well you might have mentioned me first on the billing.

********

Nora Charles: How many drinks have you had?
Nick Charles: This will make six Martinis.
Nora Charles: [to the waiter] All right. Will you bring me five more Martinis, Leo? Line them right up here.

********

Nora Charles: You know, that sounds like an interesting case. Why don't you take it?
Nick Charles: I haven't the time. I'm much too busy seeing that you don't lose any of the money I married you for.

********

[Nick has revived Nora after knocking her out to keep her from being accidentally shot by Joe Morelli]
Nora Charles: You darn fool! You didn't have to knock me out. I knew you'd take him, but I wanted to see you do it.
Lieutenant John Guild: [laughs] There's a girl with hair on her chest.

********

Lieutenant John Guild: You got a pistol permit?
Nick Charles: No.
Lieutenant John Guild: Ever heard of the Sullivan Act?
Nora Charles: Oh, that's all right, we're married.

********

Nick Charles: I'm a hero. I was shot twice in the Tribune.
Nora Charles: I read where you were shot 5 times in the tabloids.
Nick Charles: It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids.

********

Marion: I don't like crooks. And if I did like 'em, I wouldn't like crooks that are stool pigeons. And if I did like crooks that are stool pigeons, I still wouldn't like you.

********

Nora Charles: Waiter, will you serve the nuts? I mean, will you serve the guests the nuts?


Originally Written Review December 2014:
What can I say about The Thin Man?  First off, it's a Christmas movie to me, not a year goes by that I don't watch it during the month of December.  William Powell and Myrna Loy are the perfect acting couple and in my opinion no one could ever play Nick and Nora Charles better.  Asta the dog is a, well I hate to repeat myself but, perfect addition to the Charles clan.  The wit, the supporting cast, the dialogue, and of course the mystery.  This is a film, and the subsequent sequels, that has everything.  No holiday season is complete without Nick and Nora Charles, more than once some yearsπŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰.

RATING:










Dashiell Hammett
Also wrote as Peter Collinson, Daghull Hammett, Samuel Dashiell, Mary Jane Hammett

Samuel Dashiell Hammett was an American author of hardboiled detective novels and short stories. Among the enduring characters he created are Sam Spade (The Maltese Falcon), Nick and Nora Charles (The Thin Man), and the Continental Op (Red Harvest and The Dain Curse). In addition to the significant influence his novels and stories had on film, Hammett "is now widely regarded as one of the finest mystery writers of all time" and was called, in his obituary in the New York Times, "the dean of the... 'hard-boiled' school of detective fiction."


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Monday, April 29, 2024

Monday's Mysterious Mayhem(Star Wars Week): The Courtship of Princess Leia by Dave Wolverton



Summary:

Star Wars: Legends
Before the marriage of Princess Leia Organa and Han Solo, another suitor threatened to derail their star-crossed romance. . . .

Seeking rich, powerful allies to bring into the Rebel Alliance and a new home planet for the refugees from her native Alderaan, Princess Leia considers a proposal that could tip the balance of power against the evil Empire. The Hapes Consortium of 63 worlds is ruled by the Queen Mother, who wants Leia to marry her son, the dashing and wealthy Prince Isolder.

Han Solo has always dreamed of marrying Leia himself, and now he makes a desperate, final gamble to win her back. Tricking Leia into accompanying him, Han flees with her to the beautiful and untamed planet Dathomir, where he hopes to win her heart.

Fearing the imperious queen’s reaction to Han’s rash move, Luke Skywalker forms an unlikely alliance with Prince Isolder to track down the runaways. Soon Isolder, Luke, and Artoo will be at the center of an adventure leading to an awesome treasure, a group of Force-trained “witches,” and a showdown with an invincible foe.



I hadn't read or listened to Courtship in a long time but I never forgot the brilliance of the story and how it was a perfect fit for the SW universe.  As with all the original works of fiction, The Courtship of Princess Leia is now labeled under the Legends umbrella and considered non-canon.  Do I like that? No, but that's the direction Disney took when they acquired SW.  Personally, as much as I enjoy Disney's timeline, for me it will be non-canon, the alternate timeline.

Courtship is a fun, energetic look in to Han's quest to win Leia's hand after the New Republic want her to wed Prince Isolder to gain the support of the Hapes Consortium. Han taking what he sees as the easy way to buy time with Leia by tricking her into a mission or as others see it, kidnapping, which ends up sending Prince Isolder and Luke to try and find his sister and best friend before a new galactic war breaks out.

One of the best things about Courtship(outside the original characters on their intriguing journey) is the introduction of Dathomir and the Witches who follow the Light and the Nightsisters who are followers of the Dark Side.  One witch goes on to play a huge part in the SWEU, Teneniel Djo, I won't spoil it for those who want to explore the Legends timeline but loved her from the getgo.

Such fun, such energy, such emotion, yep The Courtship of Princess Leia is perfect reading for those who want to explore an alternate universe to Disney's journey and for those of us who have read the SWEU from day one, it's never a bad time to give it another visit.

RATING:



Chapter 1
General Han Solo stood at the command console viewport of the Mon Calamari Star Cruiser Mon Remonda. Warning sounds tinkled like wind chimes as the ship prepared to drop out of hyperspace at the New Republic’s capital on Coruscant. It had been so long since Han had last seen Leia: five months, five months hunting the warlord Zsinj’s Super Star Destroyer, Iron Fist. Five months ago, the New Republic had seemed so secure, so in control. Maybe now, with the Iron Fist gone, warlord Zsinj would be crippled and things would go smoother. Han longed to get off the humid Calamarian ship, longed even more for the taste of Leia’s kisses, the caress of her hand on his brow. He’d seen too much darkness lately.

The white starfield on the screen resolved as the hyperdrive engines cut, and Chewbacca roared in alarm: across the blue velvet of space where the city night lights of Coruscant blazed from a dark world were dozens of enormous, saucer-shaped starships that Han recognized immediately as Hapan Battle Dragons. Among them were dozens of slate gray Imperial Star Destroyers.

“Get us out of here!” Han shouted. He’d seen a Hapan Battle Dragon only once before, but it had been enough. “Full shields! Evasive action!”

He watched the three dorsal ion guns of the nearest Dragon, expecting them to knock him from the sky. The blaster turrets on the saucer’s rim all swiveled toward him.

The Mon Remonda twisted and dove planetward, toward the lights of Coruscant. Han’s stomach wrenched. His Mon Calamari pilot was well schooled, and knowing that they could not run before setting a new course, he surged into the thick of the Hapan warships so that they could not fire without the risk of hitting one another.

Like all the technology on the Mon Calamari ship, the viewport was exceptional, a work of art, so that as they hurtled past the command port of a Hapan Battle Dragon, Han could make out the startled faces of three Hapan officers, the silver name tags sewn into their collars. Han had never seen a Hapan. Their star sector was renowned for its wealth, and the Hapans guarded their borders jealously. He’d known that they were human—for humans had scattered like weeds across the galaxy—but he was surprised to discover that without exception, all three of the female officers were astonishingly beautiful—like fragile, living ornaments.

“Cease evasive action!” shouted Captain Onoma, a salmon-colored Calamarian officer who sat at a control console, monitoring sensors.

“What?” Han shouted, surprised that the lower-ranked Calamarian would reverse his orders.

“The Hapans are not firing, and they are broadcasting as friendlies,” Onoma answered, swiveling a large golden eye at Han. The Calamarian cruiser ceased its crazy headlong dive and slowed.

“Friendlies?” Han asked. “They’re Hapans! Hapans are never friendly!”

“Nevertheless, they’ve apparently come to negotiate a treaty of some sort with the New Republic. The accompanying Star Destroyers are theirs, captured from the Imperials. As you can see, our planetary defense forces are still intact.” Captain Onoma nodded up toward a Star Destroyer in another quadrant, and Han recognized its markings. Leia’s flagship, the Rebel Dream. It had seemed so huge, so vast when they’d captured it from the Imperials, but here beside this Hapan fleet, it looked small, insignificant. Huddled around the Rebel Dream, he saw a dozen smaller Republic Dreadnaughts, their hulls still painted with the markings of the old Rebel Alliance.

The first time Han had seen a Hapan warship, he had been smuggling guns with a small convoy fleet under the command of Captain Rula. Since the Hapans hadn’t yet fallen to the Empire, the smugglers had been using an outpost in neutral territory near the borders of the Hapan star cluster, hoping that their proximity to the Hapans would keep the Empire off their back. But one day they came out of hyperspace and found a Hapan Battle Dragon hovering in their path. Even though they were in neutral territory, even though they made no aggressive moves, only three of the twenty smuggler ships managed to survive the Hapan attack.

A communications officer said, “General Solo, we’re receiving a call from Ambassador Leia Organa.”

“I’ll go to my quarters and pick it up there,” Han said, and he hurried to punch up the call. Leia’s image appeared on the small screen.

Leia was smiling, euphoric, and her dark eyes had a dreamy look to them. “Oh, Han,” she said in a breath, her voice mellifluous. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She wore the pure white uniform of an Alderaanian ambassador, and her hair was down. In the past months it had grown longer than Han had ever seen it. In her hair she wore the combs he had given her, made from silver and opal mined on Alderaan before Grand Moff Tarkin blasted the planet to cinders with the first Death Star.

“I missed you, too,” Han said huskily.

“Come down to Coruscant, to the Grand Reception Hall,” Leia said. “The Hapan ambassadors are about to arrive.”

“What do they want?”

“It’s not what they want, it’s what they’re offering. I went to Hapes and spoke with the queen mother three months ago,” Leia said. “I asked her for aid in our fight against Warlord Zsinj. She seemed very distant, noncommittal, but promised to think about it. I can only guess they’ve come to give that aid.”

Lately, Han had begun to realize that the war against the remnants of the Empire might take years, even decades to win. Zsinj and some lesser warlords were firmly entrenched in over a third of the galaxy, but the warlords now seemed to be on the move—pillaging entire star systems as they swept toward the free worlds. The New Republic could not patrol such a vast front. Just as the old Empire had struggled to repel the Rebel Alliance, the New Republic battled the might of the warlords and their vast fleets. Han didn’t want Leia to get her hopes raised for a Hapan alliance. He said, “Don’t expect too much from the Hapans. I’ve never heard of them giving anyone anything—except a hard time.”

“You don’t even know them. Just come to the Grand Reception Hall,” Leia said, suddenly all business. “Oh, and welcome back.” She turned away. The transmission ended.

“Yeah,” Han whispered. “I missed you, too.”

Han and Chewbacca hurried through the streets toward the Grand Reception Hall on Coruscant. They were in an ancient part of Coruscant where the planetwide city had not built over the top of ruins, so that all around them plasteel buildings rose up like the walls of a canyon. The shadows thrown by the steep buildings were so deep that overhead the shuttles streaming through the spaces between buildings were forced to keep their running lights on even in the daytime, creating a massive tapestry of light. By the time Han and Chewie reached the Grand Reception Hall, the processional band was already playing an oddly mincing marching song, using janglers and deep woot horns.

The Grand Reception Hall was an enormous building, more than a thousand meters long, with fourteen levels for seating, but as Han neared the entrance, he found that all of the portals were jammed with curious onlookers, eager to see the Hapans. Han ran past the first five entrances, then suddenly saw a golden protocol droid nervously trying to jump or stand on tiptoe to see over the crowd. Many people claimed that all droids of a certain model looked alike, but Han recognized See-Threepio instantly—no other protocol unit ever managed to look quite as nervous or excited.

“Threepio, you hunk of tin!” Han shouted to be heard over the crowd. Chewbacca roared in greeting.

“General Solo!” Threepio responded, a note of relief in his voice. “Princess Leia asked that I find you and escort you to the Alderaanian ambassador’s balcony. I was afraid I’d missed you in the crowd! You’re fortunate that I had the foresight to wait for you here. This way, sir, this way!” Threepio led them back across a broad street and up a side ramp, past several guards.

As they climbed a long winding corridor, passing door after door, Chewbacca sniffed the air and growled. They rounded the corner and Threepio halted by a balcony entrance. Within, only a few people stood looking through the glass onto the procession below. Han recognized some of them: Carlist Rieekan, the Alderaanian general who had commanded Hoth base; Threkin Horm, president of the powerful Alderaanian Council, an immensely fat man who rested in a repulsor chair rather than try to carry his own weight. And Mon Mothma, commander of the New Republic, stood next to a bearded gray Gotal who gazed dispassionately toward the main floor, head tilted, aiming his sensor horns in Leia’s direction.

The diplomats were all speaking softly, listening to comlinks and watching Leia, who sat on a dais, regally gazing on a Hapan diplomatic shuttle that had landed on a pad built within the great open-air hall. Perhaps five hundred thousand beings had gathered on the main floors, eager to catch a glimpse of the Hapans. Tens of thousands of security guards had cleared the gold carpet between the shuttle and Leia, and Han looked up to the balconies. Nearly every star system in the old Empire had had its own balcony here, and beside each balcony was the nation’s standard. Over six hundred thousand of those standards hung now on the ancient marble walls, showing the membership of the New Republic. Down on the floor, silence fell as the shuttle dropped its loading ramps.
 
Han went to Mon Mothma. “What’s going on?” he asked. “Why aren’t you down on the dais with Leia?”
 
“I was not invited to meet the Hapan ambassadors,” Mon Mothma replied. “They asked only to see Leia. Since even the Old Republic had very limited contact with Hapan’s monarchs over the past three thousand years, I felt it best to remain aloof until invited.”
 
“That’s very considerate,” Han said, “but you are the elected leader of the New Republic—”
 
“And Queen Mother Ta’a Chume feels threatened by our democratic ways. No, I think it best that Ta’a Chume’s ambassadors speak through Leia, if she makes them feel more comfortable. Have you counted the number of Battle Dragons in the Hapan fleet? There are sixty-three—one for each inhabited planet in the Hapes cluster. Never have the Hapans initiated contact with us on such a grand scale. I suspect that this is to be the most important contact our peoples have made in the past three millennia.”
 
Han would not say it, but he felt slighted at not being seated by Leia’s side. The fact that Mon Mothma had been similarly treated added to the offense. They waited only a moment before the Hapans began to disembark.

First from the shuttle came a woman with long dark hair and onyx eyes that glittered in the lights. She wore a light dress of peach-colored shimmering material that left her long legs exposed. Microphones on the floor fed into the balcony, and Han could hear a sigh pass through the crowd as the beautiful woman made her way up the promenade. 

She approached Leia and dropped gracefully to one knee, keeping her eyes on Leia. In a strong voice she spoke in Hapan, “Ellene sellibeth e Ta’a Chume. ‘Shakal Leia, ereneseth a’apelle seranel Hapes. Rennithelle saroon.’ ” She turned and clapped her hands six times, and dozens of women in shimmering gold dresses began descending from the shuttle, running quickly and playing silver flutes or drums while others sang over and over in clear high voices, “Hapes, Hapes, Hapes.” 

Mon Mothma listened intently to her comlink as a translator broadcast the words in Basic, but Han couldn’t hear the translator. 

“Do you speak this stuff?” Han asked Threepio. 

“I am fluent in over six million forms of communication, sir,” Threepio said regretfully, “but I think I must be experiencing a malfunction. The Hapan ambassador cannot have said what I heard.” He turned and started to walk off. “Darn these rusty logic circuits! Excuse me while I report for repairs.” 

“Wait!” Han said. “Forget about the repairs. What did she say?” 

“Sir, I think I must have misunderstood,” Threepio said. 

“Tell me!” Han added more forcefully and Chewbacca growled a warning. 

“Well, if you’re going to be that way about it!” Threepio affected a hurt tone. “If my sensors monitored her correctly, the delegate reported the words of the great queen mother: ‘Worthy Leia, I offer gifts from the sixty-three worlds of Hapes. Take joy in them.’ ” 

“Gifts?” Han said. “That sounds pretty straightforward to me.” 

“Indeed it is. The Hapans never ask a favor without offering a gift of equal value first,” Threepio said condescendingly. “No, what troubles me is the use of the word shakal, ‘worthy.’ The queen mother would never apply that word to Leia, for the Hapans use it only when speaking to equals.” 

“Well,” Han hazarded a guess, “they are both royalty.” 

“True,” Threepio said, “but the Hapans practically worship their queen mother. Indeed, one of their names for her is Ereneda, ‘she who has no equal.’ So you see, it would not be logical for the queen mother to refer to Leia as her equal.” 

Han looked back down to the unloading ramp and shivered as a sense of foreboding washed through him. The sounds of drums thundered. Three women in bright, almost garish silks rushed from the shuttle bearing a large container the color of mother-of-pearl. Threepio still spoke to himself, shaking his head and saying “I really must have these logic circuits repaired,” as the three women spilled the contents onto the floor. The whole crowd gasped. “Rainbow gems from Gallinore!” 

The gems glittered with their own fire in dozens of shades from brilliant cardinal to blazing emerald. Indeed, the invaluable gems were not gems at all, but a silicon-based life form that glowed with its own brilliant inner light. The creatures, often worn on medallions, matured only after thousands of years. One gem could buy a Calamarian cruiser, yet the Hapans had thrown hundreds of mated pairs to the floor. Leia showed no surprise. 

A second trio of women, far taller than the others, descended from the diplomatic shuttle wearing leathers in colors of tawny ocher and cinnamon.  They danced lightly to the sounds of the flutes and drums, and between them floated a platform that bore a small, gnarled tree with ruddy brown fruits. Twin lights floated above it, beaming steadily like the suns of some desert world. The crowd murmured quietly until the ambassador explained, “Selabah, terrefel n lasarla.” (“From Selab, a tree of wisdom, bearing fruits.”) The crowd suddenly shouted and cheered in delight, and Han stood dumbfounded. He had thought the wisdom trees of Selab to be only a legend. It was said that the fruit of the wisdom trees could greatly boost the intelligence of those who had passed into old age. 

Han’s blood pounded in his veins, and he felt lightheaded. A man came forward to the sound of the music, a cyborg warrior dressed in full Hapan body armor, black with silver trim. He stood nearly as tall as Chewbacca, and strode purposefully, pulled some sort of mechanical device from his arm, and laid it on the ground before Leia. “Charubah endara, mella n ses-seltar.” (“From the high-tech world Charubah, we offer a Gun of Command.”) 

Han leaned against the glass for support. The Gun of Command had made the Hapan troops nearly invincible in small-arms combat, for it released an electromagnetic wave field that virtually neutralized an enemy’s voluntary thought processes. Those shot with the Gun of Command stood helpless as invalids, unaware of their surroundings, and tended to follow any orders given them, for they could not distinguish the command of an enemy from their own voluntary thoughts. Han began sweating. Their every world, each planet in the Hapes system, is offering its greatest treasures, Han realized. What could they hope to gain? What could they want in return? 

He watched over the next hour. The music of the drums and flutes and the high, clear calls of the women singing “Hapes, Hapes, Hapes,” over and over again seemed to pound through his veins, through his temples. Twelve of the poorer worlds each gave Leia Star Destroyers captured from the Empire, while others brought things that held more esoteric value. From Arabanth came an old woman who spoke only a few words on the importance of embracing life while accepting death, offering a “thought puzzle” that her people held to be of great value. Ut sent a woman who sang a song so beautiful that the sound seemed to carry Han away to her world on a warm breeze. 

At one point, Han heard Mon Mothma whisper, “I knew Leia had asked for money to help fight the warlords, but I never imagined…” 

And finally, the singers stopped singing and the drums stopped beating and a portion of the wealth of the hidden worlds of Hapes lay scattered on the floor of the Grand Reception Hall. Han found that his breathing came ragged from his lungs, for he kept unconsciously holding his breath as the gifts were offered. 

The silence on the floor of the hall seemed heavy, ominous. More than two hundred ambassadors from the worlds of Hapes stood on the promenade, and Han marveled at them, for once again he was impressed by their grace, by their beauty, by their strength. Until today, he had never seen a Hapan. Now he would never forget them.

No one spoke as the Hapans held their silence. Han waited to hear what they would ask in return. His blood thrilled, for he realized they could only want one thing: a pact with the Republic. The Hapans would ask the Republic to join an all-out war against the combined might of warlords who served as the last remnants of the Empire. 

Leia leaned forward from her throne, looked over the gifts approvingly. “You said that you had gifts from all sixty-three of your worlds,” Leia told the ambassador, “but I see here gifts from only sixty-two. You have offered me nothing from Hapes itself.” 

Han was shocked by the remark. He had lost count of the gifts long ago, stunned by the wealth the Hapans offered, and now Leia’s comments seemed churlish, greedy. He expected the Hapans to scoff at her bad manners, take everything, and leave. 

Instead, the Hapan ambassador smiled warmly, as if pleased that Leia had noticed, and looked up and held Leia’s eyes. She spoke, and Threepio translated, “That is because we have saved our greatest gift for last.” 

She motioned with her hand, and all the Hapan ambassadors stepped aside, clearing the aisle. Without fanfare, without the music of horns, only in silence did they bring their last gift. 

Two women, modestly dressed in black with silver ringlets in their dark hair, came from the ship. A man walked between them. He wore a silver circlet that held a black veil in front of his face, and his long, blond hair fell down around his shoulders. The man was bare-chested except for a small silk half-cloak fastened with silver clasps, and in his muscular arms he carried a large, ornate box of ebony inlaid with silver. 

He brought the box and set it on the floor. He sat on his haunches, hands resting lightly on his knees, and the women pulled back his black veil. Beneath it was the most incredibly handsome man that Han had ever seen. His deep-set eyes were a dark blue-gray, like the color of the sea on the horizon, and promised wit, humor, wisdom; his powerful shoulders and firm jawline were strong. Han realized that this must be some high dignitary from the royal house of Hapes itself. The ambassador spoke, “Hapesah, rurahsen Ta’a Chume, elesa Isolder Chume’da.” (“From Hapes, the queen mother offers her greatest treasure, her son Isolder, the Chume’da, whose wife shall reign as queen.”) 

Chewbacca growled and in the crowd below everyone seemed to talk at once, an uproar that swelled in Han’s ears like the sound of a storm. 

Mon Mothma pulled off her headset and gazed at Leia thoughtfully, one of the generals in the room swore and grinned, and Han stepped away from the window. “What?” Han asked. “What does that mean?” 

“Ta’a Chume wants Leia to marry her son,” Mon Mothma answered softly. 

“But, she won’t do it, will she?” Han said, and then his certainty faltered. Sixty-three of the wealthiest planets in the galaxy. To rule as matriarch over billions of people, with that man beside her….

Mon Mothma looked up into Han’s eyes, as if gauging him. “With the wealth of Hapes to help fund the war, Leia could overthrow the last remnants of the Empire quickly, saving billions of lives in the process. I know how you have felt about her in the past, General Solo. Still, I think I speak for everyone in the New Republic when I say that, for all our sakes, I hope she accepts the offer.”


Dave Wolverton

DAVE WOLVERTON—aka, David Farland—was an award-winning, New York Times bestselling author with nearly fifty science fiction and fantasy novels to his credit, written for both adults and young adults. He won the Writers of the Future International Gold Award for best short story of the year, the Philip K. Dick Memorial Special Award for Best Novel in the English Language, the Whitney Award for Best Novel of the Year, and many other awards. His novels have been translated into more than twenty languages, and his readership runs into the millions. Over the years he worked with some of the largest franchises in the world—writing novels for Star Wars and The Mummy, and designing and scripting international bestselling videogames for StarCraft and Xena.

In addition to writing novels and video games, Dave worked for many years as the judge for one of the world’s largest writing contests, as an educator teaching creative writing at Brigham Young University, and taught numerous writing seminars, and thus trained dozens of other New York Times bestsellers, including Brandon Sanderon, Brandon Mull, Erick Flint, and Stephenie Meyer. He also worked as a movie producer in Hollywood, and as a screenwriter. In 1999 Dave set the Guinness Record for the world’s largest book signing with the science fiction novel A Very Strange Trip. 





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