Friday, April 29, 2022

📘🎥Friday's Film Adaptation🎥📘: The Gracie Allen Murder Case by SS Van Dine



Summary:

The beloved 1930s comedienne becomes the famed detective’s sidekick in the series that “transport[s] the reader back to a long-gone era of society” (Mystery Scene).

During a glamorous night on the town, Gracie Allen finds a dead body—and a cigarette case nearby that belongs to her date for the evening. Detective Philo Vance is on the scene, but questioning Gracie is causing more confusion than enlightenment. To prevent her from creating more chaos, Vance decides to keep her close by as his unofficial sleuthing partner. Now, with the help of the zany star—or in spite of it—he intends to find the real killer . . .

Mr. Van Dine’s amateur detective is the most gentlemanly, and probably the most scholarly snooper in literature.” —Chicago Daily Tribune

The best of the American mystery men.” —The Globe



CHAPTER ONE 
A Buzzard Escapes 
(Friday, May 17; 8 p.m.) 
PHILO VANCE, CURIOUSLY enough, always liked the Gracie Allen murder case more than any of the others in which he participated. 

The case was, perhaps, not as serious as some of the others—although, on second thought, I am not so sure that this is strictly true. Indeed, it was fraught with many ominous potentialities; and its basic elements (as I look back now) were, in fact, intensely dramatic and sinister, despite its almost constant leaven of humor.

I have often asked Vance why he felt so keen a fondness for this case, and he has always airily retorted with a brief explanation that it constituted his one patent failure as an investigator of the many crimes presented to him by District Attorney John F.-X. Markham. 

“No—oh, no, Van; it was not my case at all, don’t y’ know,” Vance drawled, as we sat before his grate fire one wintry evening, long after the events. “Really, y’ know, I deserve none of the credit. I would have been utterly baffled and helpless had it not been for the charming Gracie Allen who always popped up at just the crucial moment to save me from disaster… If ever you should embalm the case in print, please place the credit where it rightfully belongs… My word, what an astonishing girl! The goddesses of Zeus’ Olympian ménage never harassed old Priam and Agamemnon with the éclat exhibited by Gracie Allen in harassing the recidivists of that highly scented affair. Amazin’!…” 

It was an almost unbelievable case from many angles, exceedingly unorthodox and unpredictable. The mystery and enchantment of perfume permeated the entire picture. The magic of fortune-telling and commercial haruspicy in general were intimately involved in its deciphering. And there was a human romantic element which lent it an unusual roseate color. 

To start with, it was spring—the 17th day of May—and the weather was unusually mild. Vance and Markham and I had dined on the spacious veranda of the Bellwood Country Club, overlooking the Hudson. The three of us had chatted in desultory fashion, for this was to be an hour of sheer relaxation and pleasure, without any intrusion of the jarring criminal interludes which had, in recent years, marked so many of our talks. 

However, even at this moment of serenity, ugly criminal angles were beginning to protrude, though unsuspected by any of us; and their shadow was creeping silently toward us.

We had finished our coffee and were sipping our chartreuse when Sergeant Heath,* looking grim and bewildered, appeared at the door leading from the main dining room to the veranda, and strode quickly to our table. 

“Hello, Mr. Vance.” His tone was hurried. “…Howdy, Chief. Sorry to bother you, but this came into the office half an hour after you left and, knowing where you were, I thought it best to bring it to you pronto.” He drew a folded yellow paper from his pocket and, opening it out, placed it emphatically before the District Attorney. 

Markham read it carefully, shrugged his shoulders, and handed the paper back to Heath. 

“I can’t see,” he said without emotion, “why this routine information should necessitate a trip up here.” 

Heath’s cheeks inflated with exasperation. 

“Why, that’s the guy, Chief, that threatened to get you.” 

“I’m quite aware of that fact,” said Markham coldly; then he added in a somewhat softened tone: “Sit down, Sergeant. Consider yourself off duty for the moment, and have a drink of your favorite whisky.” 

When Heath had adjusted himself in a chair, Markham went on. 

“Surely you don’t expect me, at this late date, to begin taking seriously the hysterical mouthings of criminals I have convicted in the course of my duties.” 

“But, Chief, this guy’s a tough hombre, and he ain’t the forgetting or the forgiving kind.” 

“Anyway,”—Markham laughed without concern—“it would be tomorrow, at the earliest, before he could reach New York.” 

As Heath and Markham were speaking, Vance’s eyebrows rose in mild curiosity.

“I say, Markham, all I’ve been able to glean is that your tutel’ry Sergeant has fears for your curtailed existence, and that you yourself are rather annoyed by his zealous worries.” 

“Hell, Mr. Vance, I’m not worryin’,” Heath blurted. “I’m just considering the possibilities, as you might say.” 

“Yes, yes, I know,” smiled Vance. “Always careful. Sewin’ up seams that haven’t even ripped. Doughty and admirable, as always, Sergeant. But whence springeth your qualm?” 

“I’m sorry, Vance.” Markham apologized for his failure to explain. “It’s really of no importance—just a routine telegraphic announcement of a rather commonplace jail-break at Nomenica.* Three men under long sentences staged the exodus, and two of them were shot by the guards…” 

“I’m not botherin’ about the guys who was shot,” Heath cut in. “It’s the other one—the guy that got away safe—that’s set me to thinkin’—” 

“And who might this stimulator of thought be, Sergeant?” Vance asked. 

“Benny the Buzzard!” whispered Heath, with melodramatic emphasis. 

“Ah!” Vance smiled. “An ornithological specimen—Buteo borealis. Maybe he flew away to freedom…” 

“It’s no laughing matter, Mr. Vance.” Heath became even more serious. “Benny the Buzzard—or Benny Pellinzi, to give him his honest monicker—is plenty tough, in spite of looking like a bloodless, pretty-faced boy. Only a few years back, he was strutting around telling anybody who’d listen that he was Public Enemy Number One. That type of guy. But he was only small change, except for his toughness and meanness—actually nothing but a dumb, stupid rat—” 

“Rat? Buzzard?… My word, Sergeant, aren’t you confusin’ your natural history?”

“And only three years ago,” continued Heath doggedly, “Mr. Markham got him sent up for a twenty-year stretch. And he pulls a jail-break just this afternoon and gets away with it. Sweet, ain’t it?” 

“Still,” submitted Vance, “such A.W.O.L.s have been taken ere this.” 

“Sure they have.” Heath extended his off-duty respite and took another whisky. “But you must’ve read what this guy pulled in court when he was sentenced. The judge hadn’t hardly finished slipping him the twenty years when he blew off his gauge. He pointed at Mr. Markham and, at the top of his voice, swore some kind of cockeyed oath that he’d come back and get him if it was the last thing he ever did. And he sounded like he meant it. He was so sore and steamed up that it took two man-eating bailiffs to drag him out of the courtroom. Generally it’s the judge who gets the threats; but this guy elected to take it out on the D. A. And that somehow made more sense.” 

Vance nodded slowly. 

“Yes, quite—quite. I see your point, Sergeant. Different and therefore dangerous.” 

“And why I really came here tonight,” Heath went on, “was to tell Mr. Markham what I intended doing. Naturally, we’ll be on the lookout for the Buzzard. He might come here direct, all right; and he might head west and try to reach the Dakotas—the Bad Lands for him, if he’s got a brain.” 

“Exactly,” Markham interpolated. “You’re probably right when you suggest he’ll head west. And I’m certainly planning no immediate jaunt to the Black Hills.” 

“Anyhow, Chief,” the Sergeant persisted stubbornly, “I’m not taking any chances on him—especially since we’ve got a pretty good line on his old cronies in this burg.” 

“Just what line do you refer to, Sergeant?” 

“Mirche, and the Domdaniel café, and Benny’s old sweetie that sings there—the Del Marr jane.”

“Whether Mirche and Pellinzi are cronies,” said Markham, “is a moot question in my mind.” 

“It ain’t in mine, Chief. And if the Buzzard should sneak back to New York, I’ve got a hunch he’d go straight to Mirche for help.” 

Markham did not argue the possibilities further. Instead, he merely asked: “What course do you intend to pursue, Sergeant?” 

Heath leaned across the table. 

“I figure it this way, Chief. If the Buzzard does plan to return to his old hunting grounds, he’ll be smart about it. He’ll do it quick and sudden-like, figurin’ we haven’t got set. If he don’t show up in the next few days I’ll simply drop the idea, and the boys’ll keep their eyes open in the routine way. But—beginning tomorrow morning, I plan to have Hennessey in that old rooming-house across from the Domdaniel, covering the little door leading into Mirche’s private office. An’ Burke and Snitkin will be with Hennessey in case the bird does show up.” 

“Aren’t you a bit optimistic, Sergeant?” asked Vance. “Three years in prison can work many changes in a man’s appearance, especially if the victim is still young and not too robust.” 

Heath dismissed Vance’s skepticism with an impatient gesture. 

“I’ll trust Hennessey—he’s got a good eye.” 

“Oh, I’m not questioning Hennessey’s vision,” Vance assured him, “—provided your liberty-lovin’ Buzzard should be so foolish as to choose the front door for his entry into Mirche’s office. But really, my dear Sergeant, Maestro Pellinzi may deem it wiser to steal in by the rear door, don’t y’ know.”

“There ain’t no rear door,” explained Heath. “And there ain’t no side door, either. A strictly private room with only one entrance facing the street. That’s the wide-open and aboveboard set-up of this guy Mirche—everything on the up-and-up. Slick as they come.” 

“Is this sanctum a separate structure?” asked Vance. “Or is it an annex to the café? I don’t seem to recall it.” 

“No. And you wouldn’t notice it, if you weren’t looking for it. It’s like an end room that’s been cut off in the corner of the building—the way they cut off a doctor’s office, or a small shop, in a big apartment-house. But if you wanta see Mirche that’s where you’ll most likely find him. The place looks as innocent as an old ladies’ home.” 

Heath glanced round at us significantly as he continued. 

“And yet, plenty goes on in that little room. If I could ever get a dictograph planted there, the D. A.’s office would have enough underworld trials on its hands to keep it busy from now on.” 

He paused and cocked an eye at Markham. 

“How do you feel about my idea for tomorrow?” 

“It can’t do any harm, Sergeant,” answered Markham without enthusiasm. “But I still think it would be a waste of time and energy.” 

“Maybe so.” Heath finished his whisky. “But I feel I gotta follow my hunch, just the same.” 

Vance set down his liqueur glass, and a whimsical expression came into his eyes. 

“But I say, Markham,” he drawled, “it would be a waste of time and energy, no matter what the outcome. Ah, your precious law, and its prissy procedure! How you Solons complicate the simple things of life! Even if this red-tailed hawk with the operatic name should appear among his olden haunts and be snared in the Sergeant’s seine, you would still treat him kindly and caressingly under the euphemistic phrase, ‘due process of law.’ You’d coddle him no end. You’d take all possible precautions to bring him in alive, although he himself might blow the brains out of a couple of the Sergeant’s confrères. Then you’d lodge and nourish him well; you’d drive him through town in a high-powered limousine; you’d give him a pleasant scenic trip back to Nomenica. And all for what, old dear? For the highly questionable privilege of supportin’ him elegantly for life.” 

Markham was obviously nettled. 

“I suppose you could settle the whole situation with a lirp.” 

“It could be, don’t y’ know.” Vance was in one of his tantalizing moods. “Here’s a worthless johnnie who has long been a thorn in the side of the law; who has, as you jolly well know, killed a man and been convicted accordingly; who has engineered a lawless prison break costing two more lives; who has promised to murder you in cold blood; and who is even now deprivin’ the Sergeant of his slumber. Not a nice person, Markham. And all these irregularities might be so easily and expeditiously adjusted by shooting the johnnie on sight, or otherwise disposing of him quickly, without ado or chinoiserie.” 

“And I suppose”—Markham spoke almost angrily—“that you yourself would be willing to undertake this illegal purge.” 

“Willing?” There was a teasing tone in Vance’s voice. “I’d be positively delighted. My good deed for that day.” 

Markham puffed vigorously at his cigar. He was always irritated when Vance’s persiflage took this line. 

“Deliberately taking a human life, Vance—”

“Please spare me the logion, Reverend Doctor. I know the answer. With Society and Law and Order singing the Greek chorus a capella. But you must admit my suggested solution is logical, practical, and just.” 

“We’ve gone into that sophistry before,” snapped Markham. “And furthermore, I’m not going to let you spoil my dinner with such nonsensical chatter.”


CHAPTER TWO 
A Rustic Interlude 
(Saturday, May 18; afternoon.) 
THE NEXT DAY, shortly after noon, we met Markham in his dingy private office overlooking the Tombs. Ordinarily the District Attorney’s office was closed at this hour on Saturdays, but Markham was in the meshes of a trying political tangle and wished to see the affair settled as soon as possible. 

“I’m deuced sorry, don’t y’ know,” said Vance, “that you must slave on an afternoon like this. I was hoping you might be persuaded to come for a drive over the countryside.”

“What!” exclaimed Markham in mock surprise. “Are you succumbing to your natural impulses? Don’t tell me Mother Nature’s sirenical tones can sway a hothouse sybarite like yourself! Why not have Van lash you to the mast in true Odyssean manner?” 

“No. I find myself actually longin’ for the spell of an Ogygian isle with citron scent and cedar-sawn—” 

“And perhaps a wood-nymph like Calypso.” 

“My dear Markham! Really, now!” Vance pretended indignation. “No—oh, no. I merely plan a bit of gambolin’ in the Bronx greenery.” 

“I see that the clear-toned Sirens of the flowered fields have snared you.” Markham’s smile was playfully derisive. “If Heath’s ominous dream is fulfilled we’ll later be steering a stormy course between Scylla and Charybdis.” 

“One never knows, does one? But should it come to pass, I trust no man shall be caught from out our hollow ship by the voracious Scylla.” 

“For Heaven’s sake, Vance, don’t be so gloomy. You’re talking utter nonsense.” 

(I particularly remember this bit of classical repartee which certainly would not have found its way into this record, had it not been that it proved curiously prophetic, even to the scent of citron and the Messina monster’s cave.) 

“And I suppose,” suggested Markham, “you’ll do your gamboling in immaculate attire. I somehow can’t picture you in vagabondian trappings.” 

“You’re quite wrong,” said Vance. “I shall don a rugged old tweed suit—the most ancient bit of coverin’ I possess… But tell me, Markham, how goes it with the zealous Sergeant and his premonitions?”

“Oh, I suppose he’s gone ahead with his useless arrangements.” Markham spoke with indifference. “But if poor Hennessey has to invite strabismus for very long I’ll have more to fear from him in the way of retribution than from Mr. Beniamino Pellinzi… I don’t quite understand Heath’s sudden case of jitters over my safety.” 

“Stout fella, Heath.” Vance studied the ash on his cigarette with a hesitant smile. “Fact is, Markham, I intend to partake of Mirche’s expensive hospitality tonight myself.” 

“You too!… You’re actually going to the Domdaniel tonight?” 

“Not in the hope of encounterin’ your friend the Buzzard,” replied Vance. “But Heath has stirred my curiosity. I should like to take a closer look at the incredible Mr. Mirche. I’ve seen him before, of course, at his hospice, but I’ve never really paid attention to his features. And I could bear a peep—from the outside only, of course—at this mysterious office which has so fretted the Sergeant’s imagination… And there’s always the chance a little excitement may ensue when the early portentous shadows of the mysterious night—” 

“Come, come, Vance. You sound like a penny dreadful. What arrière pensée is being screened by this smoke of words?” 

“If you really must know, Markham, the food is excellent at the Domdaniel. I was merely tryin’ to hide a gourmet’s yearnin’…” 

Markham snorted, and the talk shifted to a discussion of other matters, interrupted now and then by telephone calls. When Markham had completed his arrangements for the afternoon and evening, he ushered us out through the judges’ private chambers and down to the street. 

After a brief lunch we drove Markham back to his office, and then headed uptown to Vance’s apartment. Here Vance changed his suit for the old disreputable tweed, and put on heavier boots and a soft well-worn Homburg hat. Then we went out again to his Hispano-Suiza, and in an hour’s time we were driving leisurely along Palisade Avenue in the Riverdale section of the Bronx. 

Both sides of the road were thickly grown with trees and shrubs. The fragrance of spring flowers hung in the air, and we caught a fleck of bright color now and then. On our left, beyond an unbroken steel-mesh fence, a gentle slope dipped to the Hudson. On the right the ground rose more abruptly, so that the rough stone wall did not shut off the prospect. 

At the top of a slight incline, just where the road swung inland, Vance turned off the roadway, and brought the car to a gentle stop. 

“This, I think, would be an ideal spot for minglin’ with the flora and communin’ with nature.” 

Except for the fence on the river side, and the stone wall, perhaps five feet high, along the inner border of the road, we were, to all appearances, on a lonely country road. Vance crossed the broad and shaded grassy strip that stretched like a runner of green carpet between the roadway and the wall. He clambered up the stone enclosure, beckoning me to do likewise as he disappeared in the lush rustic foliage on the farther side. 

For over an hour we trudged back and forth through the woods, and then, as we suddenly came face to face with the stone enclosure again, Vance reluctantly looked at his watch. 

“Almost five,” he said. “We’d better be staggerin’ home, Van.” 

I preceded him to the roadway, and started slowly back toward the car. A large automobile, running almost noiselessly, suddenly came round the turn. I stopped as it sped by, and watched it disappear over the edge of the hill. Then I continued in the direction of our own car. 

After a few steps, I became aware of a young woman standing near the wall, well back from the roadway, in a secluded grassy bower. She was shaking the front of her skirt nervously and with marked agitation, and was stamping one foot in the soft loam. She looked perturbed and displeased, and as I drew nearer I saw that on the front of her flimsy summer frock there was an inch-wide burnt hole. 

As a vexed exclamation escaped her, Vance leaped—or, I should say, fell—from the wall behind her. His heel caught in the crude masonry, and as he strove to regain his balance, a sharp projection of the plaster tore the sleeve of his coat. The unexpected commotion startled the young woman anew, and she turned, inquisitively alert. 

She was a petite creature, and gracefully animated, with a piquant oval face and regular, sensitive features. Her eyes were large and brown, with extremely long lashes curling over them. A straight and slender nose lent dignity and character to a mouth made for smiling. She was slim and supple, and seemed to fit in perfectly with her pastoral surroundings. 

“My word!” murmured Vance, looking down at her. “That wasn’t a very graceful entry into your arbor. Please forgive me if I frightened you.” 

The girl continued to stare at him distrustfully, and as I looked at Vance again I could well understand her reaction. He was quite disheveled; his shoes and trousers were generously spattered with mud; his hat was crushed and grotesquely awry; and his torn coat-sleeve looked like that of some roving mendicant. 

In a moment the girl smiled. 

“Oh, I’m not frightened,” she assured him in a musical voice which had a very youthful engaging timbre. “I’m just angry. Terribly angry. Were you ever angry?… But I’m not angry with you, for I don’t even know you… Maybe I would be angry with you if I knew you… Did you ever think of that?”

“Yes—yes. Quite often.” Vance laughed and removed his hat: immediately he looked far more presentable. “And I’m sure you’d be entirely justified, too… By the by, may I sit down? I’m beastly tired, don’t y’ know.” 

The girl looked quickly up the road, and then seated herself rather abruptly, much as a child might throw herself carelessly on the ground. 

“That would be wonderful. I’ll read your palm. Have you ever had your palm read? I’m very good at it. Delpha taught me all the lines. Delpha knows all about the hands, and the stars, and lucky numbers. She’s a fortune-teller. And she’s psychic, too. Just like me. I’m psychic. Are you psychic? But maybe I can’t concentrate today.” Her voice took on a mystic quality. “Some days, when I’m feeling in tune, I could tell you how old you are and how many children you have…” 

Vance laughed, and seated himself beside her. 

“But really, y’ know, I don’t think I could bear to learn such staggerin’ facts about myself just now…” 

Vance took out his cigarette case and opened it slowly. 

“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I smoked,” he said ingratiatingly, holding out the case to her; but receiving only a giggle and a shake of the head, he lighted one of his Régies for himself. 

“But I’m awfully glad you mentioned cigarettes,” the girl said. “It reminds me how mad I was.” 

“Oh, yes.” Vance smiled indulgently. “But won’t you tell me at whom you were so angry?” 

She squinted at the cigarette between his fingers. 

“I don’t know now,” she answered with slight confusion. 

“By Jove, that’s unfortunate. Maybe it was me you were angry at all the time?”

“No, it wasn’t you—at least, I didn’t think it was you. Now I’m not so sure. At first I thought it was somebody in a big car that just went by—” 

“And what were you angry about?” 

“Oh, that… Well, look at the front of my new dress here.” She spread the skirt about her. “Do you see that big burnt hole? It’s just ruined. And I simply adore this dress. Don’t you like it?—that is, if it wasn’t burnt? I made it myself—well, anyhow, I told mother how I wanted it made. It made me look awfully cute. And now I can’t wear it any more.” There was real distress in her tone. “Did you throw that lighted cigarette?” 

“What cigarette?” asked Vance. 

“Why, the cigarette that burnt my dress. It’s around here somewhere… Well, anyhow, it was an awfully good shot, especially since you couldn’t see me. And maybe you didn’t even know I was here. And that would make it much harder to hit me, don’t you think?” 

“Yes, I can see your point.” Vance was as much interested as he was amused. “But really, my dear, it must have been some villain in the car—if there was a car.” 

The girl sighed. 

“Well, then,” she murmured with resignation, “I guess it wasn’t you I was mad at. And now I don’t know who it was. And that makes me madder than ever. I’m sure if I was mad at you, you’d do something about it.” 

“Shall we say then, that I’m just as sorry about it as if I had thrown the cigarette?” suggested Vance. 

“But now I don’t know whether you did or not. If you couldn’t see me through the wall, how could I see you?”

“Irrefragable logic!” Vance returned, adjusting himself to her seemingly fanciful mood. “Therefore, you must permit me to make amends—no matter who the culprit was.” 

“Really,” she said, “I don’t know what you mean.” But a twinkle in her eyes seemed to belie the words. 

“I mean just this: I want you to go down to Chareau and Lyons* and select one of their prettiest frocks—one which will make you look just as cute as this one does.” 

“Oh, I couldn’t afford it!” 

He took out his card case, and, jotting a few words on one of his visiting cards, tucked it beneath the flap of the girl’s handbag which was lying on the grass. 

“You just take that card to Mr. Lyons himself and tell him I sent you.” 

Her eyes beamed gratefully, and she did not protest further. 

“As you quite correctly say,” Vance continued, “you couldn’t see through the wall, and I therefore see no human way of proving that I did not throw the cigarette.” 

“Well, now, that’s settled, isn’t it?” The girl giggled again. “I’m so glad it was you I was mad at for throwing the cigarette.” “And so am I,” asserted Vance. 

“And, incidentally, I also hope you’ll use the same perfume when you wear your new dress. It’s somehow just like the springtime—a ‘delicious scent of citron and orange trees,’ as Longfellow pæaned in his Wayside Inn.” 

“Oh, did he?” 

“By the by, what is it? I don’t recognize it as any of the popular scents.” 

“I don’t know,” the girl replied. “I guess nobody knows. It hasn’t any name. Imagine not having a name! If we didn’t have names we’d get terribly mixed up, wouldn’t we?… It was made specially for me by George—but I suppose I shouldn’t really call him George to strangers. His name is Mr. Burns. I’m his assistant at the In-O-Scent Corporation—that’s a big perfume factory. He’s always mixing different things together and smelling them. That’s his job. He’s very clever too. Only, he’s much too serious. But I don’t think he mixed any citron in it—I really don’t know exactly what citron smells like. I thought it was something you put in cake.” 

“It’s the preserved rind of the citron that goes into cake,” Vance explained. “The oil of citron is quite different. It has the odor of citronella and lemons; and when it is treated with sulphuric acid it even has the odor of violets.” 

“Isn’t that wonderful!” she exclaimed. “Why, you sound just like George. He’s always saying things like that. I’m sure Mr. Burns knows all about it. He gets me so mixed up sometimes, bringing him the right bottles of extracts and essences. And he’s so particular about it. Sometimes he even says I don’t know how to boil his old flasks and tubes and graduates. Imagine!” 

“But I’m sure,” Vance asserted, “that you brought him the right phials when he prepared the odor you are wearing. And I’m sure one of them contained citron, though it may have had some other name… And speaking of names, is your name, by any chance, Calypso?”

 She shook her head. 

“No, but it’s something almost like that. It’s Gracie Allen.” Vance smiled, and the girl’s chatter took still another direction. 

“But aren’t you going to tell me what you were doing over beyond the wall? You know, that’s private property, and I wouldn’t go in there for anything. It wouldn’t be right. Would it? And anyhow, I don’t know where there’s a gate. But this is nice out here. I’ve come here several times, and yet no one’s ever thrown lighted cigarettes at me before, although I’ve been right in this same spot many times. But I guess everything has to happen the first time sometime. Have you ever thought of that?” 

“Yes—oh, yes. It’s a profound question.” He chuckled. “But aren’t you afraid to come to such an unfrequented spot alone?”

"Alone?" Again the girl glanced up the road. "I don't come alone. I generally come with a friend who lives over toward Broadway. His name is Mr. Puttie, and he works in the same business house I do. Mr. Puttie's a salesman. And Mr. Burns--I told you about him before--was very angry with me for coming out here this afternoon with Mr. Puttie. But he's always angry when I go anywhere with anybody else, and especially if it's Mr. Puttie. Don't you think that's silly?" She made a self--satisfied moue. 

"And where might Mr. Puttie be now?" asked Vance. "Don't tell me he's attempting to sell perfumes along the highways and byways of Riverdale." 

"Oh, goodness, no! He never works on Saturday afternoons. And neither do I. I really think the brain should have a rest now and then, don't you?...Oh, you asked me where Mr. Puttie in. Well, I'll tell you--I'm sure he wouldn't mind. He's gone to look for a nunnery." 

"A nunnery? Good Heavens! What for?" 

"He said there was a lovely view from there, with benches and flowers and everything. But he didn't know whether it was up the road from here or down. So I told him to find out first. I didn't feel like going to a nunnery when I didn't even know where it was. Would you go to a nunnery if you didn't know where it was--especially if your shoes hurt you?" 

"No, I think you were eminently sensible. But I happen to know where it is: it's quite a distance down the other way." 

"Well, Jimmy--that is, Mr. Puttie--has gone in the wrong direction then. That's just like him. I'm lucky I made him look first..."


The zany plot follows nitwit Gracie Allen trying to help master sleuth Philo Vance solve a murder.

Release Date:  June 2, 1939
Release Time: 78 minutes

Director: Alfred E. Green

Cast:
Gracie Allen as Gracie Allen
Warren William as Philo Vance
Ellen Drew as Ann Wilson
Kent Taylor as Bill Brown
Judith Barrett as Dixie Del Marr
Donald MacBride as Dist. Atty. John Markham
Jed Prouty as Uncle Ambrose
Jerome Cowan as Daniel Mirche
H. B. Warner as Richard Lawrence
William Demarest as Police Sgt. Ernest Heath
Sam Lee as Thug
Al Shaw as Thug
Richard Denning as Fred
Irving Bacon as Hotel Clerk






Author Bio:
S. S. Van Dine is the pseudonym used by American art critic Willard Huntington Wright (October 15, 1888 – April 11, 1939) when he wrote detective novels. Wright was an important figure in avant-garde cultural circles in pre-World War I New York, and under the pseudonym (which he originally used to conceal his identity) he created the once immensely popular fictional detective Philo Vance, a sleuth and aesthete who first appeared in books in the 1920s, then in movies and on the radio.


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The Gracie Allen Murder Case #11

Film
👀Amazon US/UK is a Philo Vance Collection👀
AMAZON US  /  AMAZON UK  /  AFI
ALL MOVIE  /  WIKI  /  IMDB  /  TCM





Wednesday, April 27, 2022

🎧Monday's Musical Melody(Wednesday Edition)🎧: Secret Simon by Davidson King



Summary:

Haven Hart Universe
Simon
Being the nephew of one of the most infamous mob bosses in the world isn’t easy. Our family has enemies everywhere, and no one is safe without protection. Here I am at college with a fresh start, a new last name, and secrets hidden from those around me—life is going according to plan. Then one day on campus, I see him…and I want him to strip me bare…in more ways than one.

Rush
Abernathy is more than just the university I attend. It’s my destiny, my namesake. Singing and entertaining are who I am, but my father wants me to major in something more appropriate for the name I carry. I’ve resigned myself to being who my father wants, doing what he wants. Then Simon comes into my life…and turns everything upside down. Now I have a reason to fight for what I want.

Who knew our love story would lead to secrets revealed, murderous plots, and finding our forever buried under so many lies? Hopefully we’ll live long enough to see it.

(While Secret Simon is a Haven Hart Novel it is not linked to the 7 book story arc)

*Warning: Violence and mention of suicide*


Original Audiobook Review April 2022:
How in the world has it taken me so long to listen to Secret Simon?!?!?!?! The audiobook was released last October and here it is nearly May, again HOW?  Oh well, no matter how long it took for me to listen, I've listened and once again I fell even further for Haven Hart.  Having recently read book 2, Head Rush, everything was fresh in my mind but that didn't lessen the depths I fell again for Simon and Rush.  Truth is, there's not much more I can say to the story itself or the storytelling genius that also goes by the name of Davidson King.  

What I will say is this: I never listened to a dual narration before King's audios and was leery going in but loved it instantly.  I'm not sure why I had any hesitancy because I love the old radio shows of the 30s and 40s and a good audio portrayal always reminded me of the classic radio platform.  Truth is John Solo and Alexander Cendese bring so much passion and strength to the characters that I can almost hear Harlow Wilcox breaking in with the ad for spark plugs he pitched on Suspense all those years ago.  Not only do they bring Simon, Rush, and all the characters to life, I can hear the sound effects, I can hear the studio audience gasping with "oohs" and "ahhs" with each new revelation.

Another winning combination of author's words and narrators' voices to heighten the enjoyment of Secret Simon, the new Haven Hart-connected journey.

Original Review June Book of the Month 2021:
HOLY HANNAH BATMAN! OMG! The Force is with us all!  We have a new Haven Hart book by Davidson King!!!!!!

Okay, I got that out of my system, lets continue.  

I should start by pointing out as the author mentions at the end of the blurb, Secret Simon is not linked to the original 7 book arc, story-wise at least.  We see a few of the characters and of course "Simon" is Eight all grown up(he's still Eight to Snow but I have a feeling Snow will still be calling him Eight when he's 60).  So if you haven't read Davidson King's Haven Hart universe you can start here although I don't know that I would want to, you won't be lost in any way, shape, or form.  To be honest, I am a series-read-in-order kinda gal and Haven Hart is one of my all time favorite series of all genres.

Secret Simon.  Flat out brilliant!  This story has it all(okay there's no sci-fi or apocalyptic end of the world stuff although going after Christopher Manos' family probably won't end well for anyone) romance, mystery, heat, action, friendship, danger, love, family, and it wouldn't be Haven Hart without mayhem and plenty of well . . . heart(see what I did there😉😉).

Lets talk characters.  Simon has become as wonderful an adult as he was when we first met him at 8.  He may be blood to Christopher but Snow has made a lasting impression on him as well, which will only enhance his future role in the Manos family.  Now, in case you haven't read Haven Hart's original 7 book arc, I won't go into too much detail for the I'm-a-spoiler-free-zone kinda gal but I will say there is a very important reason the book is titled Secret Simon.  Don't worry, just because I won't spoil anything, the author doesn't leave you up in the air with a hundred questions of "why? what? who? or where?", King makes sure you got a feel for what's going on.  As for Rush?  He has a future written for him but is it the future he wants to write for himself?  Yeah, you know what's coming:  you have to read for yourself to find out.  Trust me you will enjoy every minute of finding out.  Put the two together and the chemistry just screams out at you.

What more can I say?  I could say a lot but I'm going to end here or I'm afraid the longer I go on the more chance I'll get loose lipped(or loose fingers) and reveal more than I want.  So I will just say this: Secret Simon has reinforced my love of Haven Hart and proven to me that it is an author's universe that belongs on my short list of "Whether they write a 4 paragraph holiday coda or 100 full length novels I'll be first in line to gobble them up".  Davidson King once again provides her readers with an unforgettable tale that entertains and captures their attention from beginning to end, further cementing her place in the world as a topnotch storyteller.

RATING:



Prologue 
My name is Simon, but you can call me Eight—I’ll explain that later—and this is the story of how my hope for a quiet drama-free college life blew up in my face…all because I fell in love. 

Yes, I know, cheesy. But here’s the thing—it really is true. It’s more complex than that, and it wouldn’t be much of a story if it was all, “Met a boy, he was cool, we fell in love, the end.” 

Truth is, I chose to go to college five hours from Haven Hart, where I grew up, not because I had a bad childhood or hated my family, but because everyone knew who I was there…Hell, everyone knew who I was for miles and miles from there. If you don’t know why, let me fill you in real fast. 

I’m the nephew of the most powerful mob boss in Haven Hart, Christopher Manos. He isn’t your typical mobster, though. I’ve seen the documentaries on Al Capone and Joe Bonanno, and yeah, sure, my uncle killed and isn’t clean in a lot of ways. But he’s also the best man I know. My mom died when I was a baby, and he loved me as a son and raised me as far away from his lifestyle as possible…Or at least, he tried to. No matter how hard he tried, though, there was no way to hide that kind of stuff forever. 

As a child I saw a lot of things I shouldn’t have, but when I was eight everything changed. There’s that number again. See, I got bored waiting in a car while my pops’s driver—Pops is what I call my uncle—went into the ice cream shop to get me some rocky road. So, I left the car and wandered around. That wasn’t a good idea, and yet it kinda was. 

A couple of guys started hassling me. One was named Roy Sokolov, and he tried to kidnap me. But from the depths of a dark, dank alley came my guardian angel. His name is Snow. He saved me that day, and we saved him too. He and my pops fell in love, and that’s how I found the second-best person in my life. Snow, he calls me Eight—the age I was when he saved me—and because when he asked me what to call me, I wouldn’t give him my name and only my age…I think you get the picture. 

After that night, I saw so much more. Years later, my pops and I were actually kidnapped. There was no escaping the life he lived and so, when it came time to go to college, I decided it should be far away in the hopes that no one would know who I was. 

Snow suggested I use a different last name, and while it hurt my heart to do it, I knew he was right. There were forgeries made, and abracadabra! I became Simon Mancia.

Thankfully, I got through my first year of college easily. No one knew who I was—at least no one said anything. I dated a few people. Penelope for about six months, but we didn’t click the way a boyfriend and girlfriend should…Instead, she became my best friend. Then there was Raul. He was amazing, but he cheated on me after two months, and yeah…that sucked. I hadn’t been with anyone since. That was, until I saw Him. He was singing karaoke on the green at campus when I returned my second year. It was some welcome-back thing, and he was right there and…Wow. 

Penelope told me his name was Rush, and that was all she knew. I decided it would be my mission to find out more and hope beyond hope that he’d take me up on an offer for coffee. 

Well, there’s something to be said for falling in love with someone; you will risk it all. I did just that and more. 

So, sit back and find out how my finally calm life was turned upside down…all because I fell in love.



Saturday's Series Spotlight - Haven Hart Audiobook Edition
Part 1  /  Part 2


Joker's Sin(Haven Hart Spin-off)




Author Bio:
Davidson King, always had a hope that someday her daydreams would become real-life stories. As a child, you would often find her in her own world, thinking up the most insane situations. It may have taken her awhile, but she made her dream come true with her first published work, Snow Falling.

When she's not writing you can find her blogging away on Diverse Reader, her review and promotional site. She managed to wrangle herself a husband who matched her crazy and they hatched three wonderful children.

If you were to ask her what gave her the courage to finally publish, she'd tell you it was her amazing family and friends. Support is vital in all things and when you're afraid of your dreams, it will be your cheering section that will lift you up.


Davidson King
EMAIL: davidsonkingauthor@yahoo.com 

Alexander Cendese(Narrator)

John Solo(Narrator)
AMAZON  /  GOODREADS 



Secret Simon #8

Haven Hart Universe

Joker's Sin


Sunday, April 24, 2022

Sunday's Steampunk Spinner: The Engineer by CS Poe



Summary:

Magic & Steam #1
1881—Special Agent Gillian Hamilton is a magic caster with the Federal Bureau of Magic and Steam. He’s sent to Shallow Grave, Arizona, to arrest a madman engineer known as Tinkerer, who’s responsible for blowing up half of Baltimore. Gillian has handled some of the worst criminals in the Bureau’s history, so this assignment shouldn’t be a problem. But even he’s taken aback by a run-in with the country’s most infamous outlaw, Gunner the Deadly.

Gunner is also stalking Shallow Grave in search of Tinkerer, who will stop at nothing to take control of the town’s silver mines. Neither Gillian nor Gunner are willing to let Tinkerer hurt more innocent people, so they agree to a very temporary partnership.

If facing illegal magic, Gatling gun contraptions, and a wild engineer in America’s frontier wasn’t enough trouble for a city boy, Gillian must also come to terms with the reality that he’s rather fond of his partner. But even if they live through this adventure, Gillian fears there’s no chance for love between a special agent and outlaw.

Based on the short story, "Gunner the Deadly." Entirely revised, newly expanded, and Book One in the exciting new steampunk series, Magic & Steam.



October 10, 1881
The trch, trch, trch of Gatling gun rotating cylinders had been my only warning before the gunfire began. Bullets pierced the sun-bleached façade of the gambling hall behind me, and splintered wood rained down like an unexpected desert shower. I held on to my bowler, dove behind a nearby wagon, and scrambled up against the wheel. By way of defense, it offered little, but I desperately needed half a second to gather my bearings. I’d just entered Shallow Grave, Arizona, hadn’t even flashed my badge yet, and already I was being shot at.

I yanked my traveling goggles over my head and accidentally dropped them as another round of shooting began. Windows shattered, a woman’s scream echoed from a few storefronts to my right, and the scorched red earth around me billowed up in miniature dust storms where bullets became embedded in the packed clay.

I lifted the headband and over-ear receivers of my Personal Discussion Device from my neck and fitted them into place. I raised the handheld transducer, punched in a code on the brass buttons that would connect me to my director back in New York City, and waited for Loren Moore’s smooth tenor voice to answer.

But nothing happened.

I tried again.

Not even static.

“Send Gillian out West,” I said in a self-mocking tone. I attempted contact a final time, but it was in vain. “Milo Ferguson won’t stand a chance against him. Of course not. But the utter lack of basic amenities and technology?” More gunfire, and I winced before sliding down farther and trying to make myself as small a target as possible. “Gillian will love it.” I wrenched the band down to rest around my neck again, then rolled onto my belly to peer under the wagon.

There was a sudden crackle in the atmosphere—the snap of aether magic being activated. The sensation raised gooseflesh on my arms, and I recognized the spell for what it was.

Manufactured.

Illegal.

Not magic invoked by a caster like me, but by a physical weapon and someone with the wealth in which to afford its use.

And then three near-simultaneous shots fractured the air like seven years’ bad luck. No doubt that had come from a triple-barrel Waterbury pistol. But it didn’t line up with the intelligence the Bureau had on Milo Ferguson. Yes, he was wanted for his improper use of steam energy to power unregistered innovations, as well as his amassing of aether ammunition, but he hadn’t once owned a Waterbury pistol or Jordan rifle, the only two weapons capable of firing magic-laden bullets.

Ferguson was an engineer. And mad though he might be, he was gifted at any sort of construction that had a lethal edge to it. His inventions were what had recently taken out half of Baltimore. His self-designed, magic-compatible monstrosities of brass and copper and iron were why I had been directed by the Bureau and the President of the United States to haul ass to Arizona territory.

So the shots in retaliation to the Gatling gun hadn’t come from Ferguson. They’d come from yet another individual hell-bent on breaking the law. And me with only one pair of handcuffs and no idea where the town jail was located….

I watched from underneath the wagon as a pair of black-clad legs—presumably the Waterbury owner—ran by like the hounds from Hell were giving chase. The man skidded to an abrupt stop in the middle of the dirt road, turned, and another shiver of manufactured magic creeped along my arms seconds before the Waterbury shot another triple round at a target somewhere out of sight to my left.

I scrambled to my hands and knees and moved into a crouch. Peering around the edge of the wagon, I raised a hand to shield my eyes from the setting sun and saw, standing against a fiery desert backdrop, a cowboy straight out of a dime novel. He was tall, like he could steal the stars from the sky at night. Not a big man—lithe was the word—but imposing nonetheless in head-to-toe black attire, including a Stetson hat hanging from his neck. He remained in a shooting pose and cocked the hammer on his Waterbury. But as the ammunition came to life for a third time, gunfire erupted from my left again and sent the cowboy running for cover.

Specifically, my wagon.


New York City, 1880s—the epicenter of steam technology, magic, and murder. Special Agent Gillian Hamilton and infamous outlaw Gunner the Deadly exist on opposite sides of the law, but a series of misadventures involving the country’s worst criminals brings the two into an unlikely partnership.

And in an alternate universe fraught with peril, with escalating danger, with baggage lingering from the Great Rebellion, and personal turmoil cutting all the way to the bone, Gillian and Gunner can trust their safety and their hearts to no one but each other.

Sunday's Steampunk Spinner



Author Bio:

C.S. Poe is a Lambda Literary and two-time EPIC award finalist, and a FAPA award-winning author of gay mystery, romance, and speculative fiction.

She resides in New York City, but has also called Key West and Ibaraki, Japan, home in the past. She has an affinity for all things cute and colorful and a major weakness for toys. C.S. is an avid fan of coffee, reading, and cats. She’s rescued two cats—Milo and Kasper do their best to distract her from work on a daily basis.

C.S. is an alumna of the School of Visual Arts.

Her debut novel, The Mystery of Nevermore, was published 2016.


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