Monday, November 7, 2022

Monday's Musical Melody: On Wings of Song by Anne Barwell



Summary:
A chance meeting they never forgot.

Six years after meeting British soldier Aiden Foster during the Christmas Truce of 1914, Jochen Weber still finds himself thinking about Aiden, their shared conversation about literature, and Aiden’s beautiful singing voice. A visit to London gives Jochen the opportunity to search for Aiden, but he’s shocked at what he finds.

The uniform button Jochen gave him is the only thing Aiden has left of the past he’s lost. The war and its aftermath ripped everything away from him, including his family and his music. When Jochen reappears in his life, Aiden enjoys their growing friendship but knows he has nothing to offer. Not anymore.

Author’s note: This story was originally published in 2014 by another publisher. This edition has some added content, and uses UK spelling to reflect its setting.


Re-Read Review August 2020:
It's been five years since I originally read On Wings of Song and it hasn't lost any of its appeal, as a matter of fact I found it even more enjoyable that I upped it from 4-1/2 to 5 bookmarks.  Perhaps it's because I haven't found nearly enough WW1/post-war stories that make the ones I do and even brighter gem. Aiden and Jochen are still just as amazingly beautifully now as they were in 2015. If you're looking for a delightful tale of friendship, love, hope, heart, and growth(some might call recovery but I prefer "growth") then this is definitely the one for you, even if you don't generally read historicals On Wings of Song is one that warms your heart.

Original Review April 2015:
This is a beautifully written tale of a chance meeting becoming something more.  Not all chance meetings are instant bonds but when Aiden and Jochen find themselves talking over literature during the WW1 Christmas truce, it's pretty obvious that bond is real and the author conveys that in a way that is beautiful and believable.  If you love historical fiction than this is a must for your reading list and even if they aren't your typical fare, I still highly recommend this great story.  It's the first time I've read this author but it won't be the last.

RATING:



“I’ve seen it,” Aiden said quietly. “I wish to God I hadn’t.” He looked directly at Jochen. Jochen met Aiden’s gaze. He’d seen an echo of Conrad’s fire in Aiden when he’d talked about his music earlier that afternoon.

“Don’t die on the wire, Aiden.”

“I’ll try not to.” Aiden’s words were an empty promise. They both knew it, but what else was he going to say?

The red-haired man Aiden had spoken to about arranging the burials walked over to him. He too held a shovel, and he wiped perspiration from his brow despite the cold. “There’s going to be a combined service for the dead,” he told them. “In about ten minutes in no man’s land in front of the French trenches.”

As they made their way over, men were already beginning to gather, soldiers from opposite sides sitting together, conversation dwindling to a respectful silence. A British chaplain stood in front of them, a Bible in his hand, a German beside him. Jochen recognized him, although he didn’t know his name. The young man was only a few years older than Jochen and was studying for the ministry—would he ever get the chance to complete those studies?

Jochen and Aiden found somewhere to sit a few rows back from the front and joined the company of men. The German spoke first. “Vater unser, der du bist im Himmel. Geheiligt werde dein Name.”

The British chaplain repeated the words in English. “Our Father who art in Heaven, Hallowed be thy Name.”

They then spoke a few words each, some from the Bible, the rest from their hearts. Their congregation was silent apart from a few quiet “amens.” Jochen saw a couple of men wipe tears away. He was close to it himself.

Finally the chaplain bowed his head in prayer. When he’d finished, he spoke quietly to the man who had come to stand next to him. It was Captain Williams. He nodded and looked over the crowd, his gaze fixing on Aiden.

Aiden must have guessed what Williams wanted. He inclined his head in response and then stood. Jochen glanced between the two men, confused. What did Williams expect Aiden to do?

“Aiden?” Jochen asked softly.

Aiden smiled at him and began to sing. “O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining….” He lifted his head, his voice strong and clear, each note building on the last to create something truly beautiful, something angelic. Aiden’s eyes shone; his body swayed slightly in time with the music. He was the music.

His audience sat in awe. Jochen could feel the emotion rippling through the men around him, tangible, as though he could reach out and touch it. He felt something inside himself reach out, wanting to be a part of it, to be carried along the wave of pure music, to grab it and never let go.


Author Bio:
Anne Barwell lives in Wellington, New Zealand. She shares her home with Kaylee: a cat with “tortitude” who is convinced that the house is run to suit her; this is an ongoing “discussion,” and to date, it appears as though Kaylee may be winning.

In 2008, Anne completed her conjoint BA in English Literature and Music/Bachelor of Teaching. She has worked as a music teacher, a primary school teacher, and now works in a library. She is a member of the Upper Hutt Science Fiction Club and plays violin for Hutt Valley Orchestra.

She is an avid reader across a wide range of genres and a watcher of far too many TV series and movies, although it can be argued that there is no such thing as “too many.” These, of course, are best enjoyed with a decent cup of tea and further the continuing argument that the concept of “spare time” is really just a myth. She also hosts and reviews for other authors, and writes monthly blog posts for Love Bytes. She is the co-founder of the New Zealand Rainbow Romance writers, and a member of RWNZ.

Anne’s books have received honourable mentions five times, reached the finals four times—one of which was for best gay book—and been a runner up in the Rainbow Awards. She has also been nominated twice in the Goodreads M/M Romance Reader’s Choice Awards—once for Best Fantasy and once for Best Historical.


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EMAIL: darthanne@gmail.com



Sunday, November 6, 2022

πŸ‘»πŸŽƒWeek at a GlanceπŸŽƒπŸ‘»: 10/31/22 - 11/6/22





















πŸ’œSunday's Sport Stats(National Family Caregiver Month Edition)πŸ’œ: Back Check by RJ Scott & VL Locey



Summary:
Meeting Joachim could save his daughter’s life, but it may well cost Isaac his heart.

It’s been one hell of a year for Joachim LΓΆfgren. After a long summer in rehab, he’s been moved to a new town, one far away from the warm Florida sun he so adores, to bolster a struggling Boston defense since the departure of their beloved team captain. He hasn’t even unpacked his skates properly when fate lands another blow, and he’s told that he is dad to a gravely ill child he never knew existed. It’s an easy decision for the burly defenseman to help and he opens up his new home to his child and her guardian Isaac. He’s instantly enchanted with the preschooler as well as her uncle and decides that his life will only be complete if his daughter is part of it. Filing for custody is the only option he feels he has, but this throws his budding relationship with Isaac into utter chaos. The two men soon find themselves on opposite sides of the courtroom as they both fight for the life they feel is best for Sophia.

Despite grieving for the loss of his sister, Isaac doesn’t hesitate to take on the responsibility for his newborn niece Sophia, creating a brand new family of two built on love and laughter. He has a steady income painting pet portraits during the day, but it’s the subversive and satirical cartoons he draws at night that silence his thoughts in the dark. They don’t have much as a family, but he is Sophia’s dad now, and nothing and no one will ever come between them. When a routine pediatric checkup shows that Sophia is ill, it forces Isaac to confront every one of his fears. Finding a matching donor is her only hope, and Isaac begins the journey to find Sophia’s mysterious father. There are no names or dates in his sister’s battered journal, and all Isaac knows is that he’s looking for a hockey player who was nothing more than a one-night stand. Little does he know that finding Joachim could destroy everything.

Original Review September Book of the Month 2021: 
First of all, the black cover in the authors' hockey universe where the book covers are generally light colored helps to set the tone of heartbreak that starts the story off.  Just goes to show you that cover colors can sometimes do way more than the character representation on said cover to highlight a story's emotions.  Brilliant work, Meredith Russell on another great cover design!

Second, part of me wants to be upset with Scott & Locey for making me tear up in a crowded hospital cafeteria but the truth is they represented what teared me up so beautifully that I can't be anything but pleased.  This isn't a spoiler because we know that Isaac is caring for his niece because his sister died so I'll touch on it.  To be honest, the part that made me tear up is not a lengthy scene but still close to my heart.  My mom has been in the hospital for over 100 days now and I've been at her side the entire time so that's why I was in a crowded cafeteria when I was reading Back Check.  When I was born my mom had pre-eclampsia and was in a coma for 4 days but survived and when I read it in a book it always makes me grateful for how lucky our family was that Mom survived but it also makes me sad for the character that doesn't.  The scene is short and only a few pages if that but the authors wrote the emotions so spot-on that I had to start poking at my eyes a bit so I wouldn't go from a few tears to full on blubbering.

As for Joachim and Isaac.  My great grandfather was an alcoholic who took his own life a year before my mother was born but it left a lasting impression on the family so whenever I see someone, in fiction or reality, take the path of recovery I will always be rooting for them and it's no different with Joachim.  I'll admit, there are a few scenes where I'd like to take a frying pan to his head to knock a little sense in but I can say the same about Isaac.  Communication is key and bad communication or rush-to-judgement can definitely be a ginormous wet blanket on a blossoming relationship.  But then where would the fun be if there wasn't some tension that makes us readers want to bash their heads together?πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

At times I would have liked to seen more of Sophia because she's just so darn cute and adorable and I want to protect her from all the evils of the world but then I thought about it and considering the characters' journey, I think Back Check is a very well balanced story and the authors definitely knew what they were doing.

Anyone wondering about series order for reading, I can't imagine reading any series other than the original release order but truth is, each book has a beginning and end because of the different characters at the center.  However, there are a few mentions of previous couples that I think make friendships and teammates flow better but it isn't a must that they be read as written.  You won't be lost by any means but I do warn you, you see just enough of the previous characters that you'll be enticed to go back and discover their journeys.

RATING:



“Hey, guys, did you see this story coming out of Fort Lauderdale?”

Everyone looked at me.

“I didn’t do it,” I quickly said as I lifted my hands up innocently. “I was here in Boston.”

“No, it’s nothing bad like you’re used to,” Austin blurted out. Xander swatted him upside the head. The boy’s eyes bugged out, and his soft cheeks turned scarlet. “Oh! No, I didn’t mean you did bad stuff! Being drunk isn’t bad. Well, it kind of is bad when you run off the road and hit a mailbox. It’s not bad in a bad way. It’s, uhm… well, it’s just an addiction right, and you’re not drinking anymore so it’s all okay. No, well, okay in that you’ve stopped drinking and are now—”

“It’s okay, Rowe, I know what you meant, and it’s fine. I did some pretty fucked up things when I was under the influence of alcohol.”

Austin wilted a bit. “Okay, thanks. I didn’t mean to imply that addictions are bad. I mean they are! No, not bad like bad but—”

“It’s okay, kid. Just move onto the news story.” I chuckled. Moral lobbed a chunk of apple at Austin. He ducked it and the glob smacked Kyle in the cheek.

“Right, yeah, so there’s this guy down in Florida who’s looking for a bone marrow donor for his daughter. He showed up at a preseason hockey game to search for some mysterious fan called ‘Hockey Guy’ which the dead mother named as the possible father.”

“Shit, so the guy is raising his daughter alone?” Moral asked, the sad news slowing his inhalation of muffins for a moment.

“Wait…” He placed his muffin on its plate. “If he’s the father then why is he looking for the father?”

“He’s the baby’s uncle but has been raising her as her father. It’s all super sad and everyone in the league is signing up to see if they’re a match for the little girl with leukemia. Look at her.” He showed us all an image of an adorable little girl of perhaps three and her daddy/uncle who was also cute as hell. “We should sign up.”


Saturday's Series Spotlight
Harrisburg Raptors
Part 1  /  Part 2  /  Part 3

Owatonna U

Arizona Raptors
Part 1  /  Part 2





RJ Scott
Writing love stories with a happy ever after – cowboys, heroes, family, hockey, single dads, bodyguards

USA Today bestselling author RJ Scott has written over one hundred romance books. Emotional stories of complicated characters, cowboys, single dads, hockey players, millionaires, princes, bodyguards, Navy SEALs, soldiers, doctors, paramedics, firefighters, cops, and the men who get mixed up in their lives, always with a happy ever after.

She lives just outside London and spends every waking minute she isn’t with family either reading or writing. The last time she had a week’s break from writing, she didn’t like it one little bit, and she has yet to meet a box of chocolates she couldn’t defeat.


VL Locey
V.L. Locey loves worn jeans, yoga, belly laughs, walking, reading and writing lusty tales, Greek mythology, the New York Rangers, comic books, and coffee.
(Not necessarily in that order.)

She shares her life with her husband, her daughter, one dog, two cats, a flock of assorted domestic fowl, and two Jersey steers.

When not writing spicy romances, she enjoys spending her day with her menagerie in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania with a cup of fresh java in hand.






Back Check #2

Boston Rebels Series

Harrisburg Series

Owatonna U Series

Arizona Raptors Series


Saturday, November 5, 2022

πŸ’œSaturday's Series Spotlight(National Family Caregiver Month Edition)πŸ’œ: San Capistrano by Angelique Jurd Part 2



Stormy Seas #4
Summary:
A storm is brewing in San Capistrano. When it finally breaks will Alex and Ben be the same?

Alex has a happy life now. He and Ben now have two beautiful little girls, Ally and Lucy, who help Ben’s grandmother, Polly, keep both men on their toes. Life seems perfect.

Until Alex's mother shows up, opening old wounds and revealing secrets Alex never wanted Ben to know about. When Janice's hatred for Alex overflows and is taken out on Ally and Lucy, Alex is forced to confront his past and decide what he wants from his future.

How will his relationship with Ben stand up in light of Janice's actions?

Stormy Seas is Book 4 in The San Capistrano Series - an ongoing series, featuring the same couple.

This book deals with family feuds and facing the past, even when it is painful. There is also reference to past physical abuse by a parent.




Scattered Shells #5
Summary:
Peace and calm are not always the same thing.

For the first time in his life, Alex is able to face his past without fear and look toward the future with hope. As he and Ben find their way back to a normal family life with their daughters, Alex begins to open up and become the man Ben always believed he could be.

When he takes up a role in a free clinic, Alex encounters a teenage boy who has been neglected and rejected by his parents. Will Alex be able to cope when he and Ben decide to take the boy in? Will the new family member help him take the last steps into the lightness of being loved?

Scattered Shells is Book 5 in an ongoing series featuring the same couple and features found family, the aftermath of trauma, and the importance of lace.




Haunted Seas #5.5
Summary:
Life in the San Capistrano beach house is good. Ben and Alex's family is settled and happy as they navigate day to day life.As they prepare for Halloween they get some news that may finally offer Alex the closure on his past he so desperately needs.

Haunted Seas is a short story in The San Capistrano Series . It is NOT a paranormal romance.






Stormy Seas #4
The man hands the woman an envelope, pinches a crease in his trousers, and sips his coffee. He watches while she opens it, puts the USB stick to one side, and slides the photographs out. 

There are six photographs in total, all taken from a distance but all clear and sharp. The man is good; he knows his job. 

In the first picture a tall man in a suit holds the hand of a small girl with pigtails, a backpack hanging from his other hand. If you look closely, you can see Elsa from Frozen on the backpack. Next to them an even taller man, with hair covering his collar, is being pulled along by a large Labrador. The hand not holding the leash cups the head of the baby strapped to his chest in a baby sling. 

The second and third photos show the man in the suit – now in jeans – pushing a pram, the little girl clinging to the handles. The fourth photograph shows all four again. This time they’re at a park, under a tree, surrounded by the remnants of a picnic. The taller of the two, with the long hair, is giving the baby a bottle; the small girl is bent over the baby’s head, placing a kiss in the fuzzy hair. The fifth shows the little girl running down the steps of a day care center, pig tails flying, arms wide toward him as he waits, arms open, face beaming. 

The woman drops the fifth photo on the pile and looks at the final image. Disgust and rage twist her mouth and narrow her eyes. It’s more than that, the man across the desk thinks. Hatred. Pure hatred. After a few moments, she tears the image of the two men, hand in hand, leaning into each other, lips almost touching, into shreds; the pieces flutter to the floor as she gathers the envelope, the USB stick, and her purse. Stands. 

“I shall call you if I need anything else.” Her voice is icy. 

She leaves and she slams the door behind her.


2
In his dream, Alex Davis is trying to catch his dog, Bart, so he can take a tennis ball off him. Bart’s love of eating tennis balls has ended in three hefty vet bills already, and in this dream, he’s eaten half a dozen of the damned things and nobody can catch him. Alex knows it’s just a dream, not because of the tennis balls, but because his mother-in- law Allie is watching from a recliner. She’s sipping a cocktail and laughing with her granddaughter Ally. Alex and Ben’s daughter, was born two months after his mother-in-law’s death, which is how he knows it must be a dream.

Just as Alex is about to snag Bart’s collar, the snuffling sounds of their younger daughter about to cry catch his attention. The dream slips away, and he opens his eyes when there’s a second whimper from the baby monitor. Swinging his legs out of bed he pulls his tee-shirt on over his blue pajama pants and crosses the hall to her room. The nine-month-old is sitting in the corner of her crib, pulling on the feet of her onesie with one hand and sucking the fingers of the other hand. By the look of things, she’s getting ready to voice her displeasure at having no bottle yet but gives him a wide, drool filled smile revealing four teeth. This room used to belong to Ben’s grandmother, Polly, but at ninety-seven she’s conceded defeat to the staircase and taken over the downstairs guestroom.

“Hey Lulu bug.” He scoops the little girl into his arms, smiling at the way she snuggles into his neck, kicking against his stomach.

Alex sings Teddy Bear’s Picnic in her ear as they go downstairs, stomach growling when the smell of bacon cooking and the sound of barking and giggles greets them from the kitchen.  When he opens the door, Bart, thankfully with no tennis balls in sight, bounces over, tongue lolling and tail wagging. Ben, dressed in old jeans and a faded shirt, stands at the stove, tongs in one hand, coffee mug in the other. His blonde hair points in every direction and there’s a smear of something – butter? - on his face. Bacon and eggs are about Ben’s limit in the kitchen and even then, it's rare for him to come out unscathed. Ally, who will be four next month, looks up from her coloring.

“Daddy,” she squeals with a wide smile, bright green eyes shining. She’s wearing Pooh Bear pajamas and, Alex is startled to see, has a diaper on her head. He bends down to kiss her cheek, cradling Lucy’s head with his hand. “I have a diapy hat.”

“Morning monster, so I see.”

He retrieves Lucy’s bottle from the warmer, settles her into the crook of his elbow and grins when small hands clasp the bottle and small feet stick straight up in the air. She settles into the serious business of having her bottle while looking at him with wide, unblinking, hazel eyes. Holding her away from the stove, he winds his free arm around Ben’s waist.

“Morning.” He nuzzles Ben’s neck; he smells warm and buttery. “Why is our daughter wearing a diapy hat?”

“Why do you insist on wearing those ridiculous pajamas? Such are the mysteries of the universe, baby.”

Alex rolls his eyes and sits down, shifting Lucy to a more comfortable position.

“Idiot.”

“Idiot who loves you,” Ben replies. He takes a small plate of scrambled egg to Ally. “And, I might add, who is cooking you breakfast Okay, munchkin, no diapy hats at the table please. Coloring on the island, time for eggs.”

“Daddy’s not a baby,” Ally says as she puts her coloring on the island, laying the diapy hat next to it with care, “Daddy’s a growed-up. Lulu bug is a baby.”

“Shows what you know.” Ben hands Alex a cup of coffee and sets a plate of bacon and eggs on the table in front of him. “Lulu bug isn’t a baby, she’s a bug. Didn’t you know that?”

Ally, still standing on her chair, puts her hands on her hips and shakes her head.

“Idiot.” Her tone is an exact echo of the one Alex used a minute earlier. Alex chokes on his coffee and looks up to see Ben, mouth hanging open, his plate of breakfast forgotten in his hand.

“Ally, don’t call Papa an idiot,” Alex tries not to laugh, “that’s rude.”

“You did.” Ally sits, picks up her small fork and shovels a forkful of egg into her mouth, eyes still on her taller father, waiting for an explanation.

“Well it’s different for grownups,” he says.

“Why?”

Alex groans. He hasn’t had enough coffee for why.

“Because sometimes it’s a way of being cute, like when I call Daddy baby, or you, munchkin,” Ben intervenes. Alex watches her mull this over; she’s an intelligent child who likes words and is often distracted by them. Polly is convinced it means she’ll be an award-winning writer someday, but Alex will just be grateful if it saves them from an hour of hearing the word why on repeat.

“Or Lucy, Lulu bug,” he adds.

“Oh, it’s a nicker name?”

“Nickname,” Alex corrects. “Yes, sort of, but it’s not a good nickname for little girls to use, okay? Especially not to their Papa.”

The little girl considers this for a moment, then shrugs, nudges her plate toward Ben’s, and climbs in his lap.

“Sorry, Papa,” she says, and leans her head back against his chest. Ben picks up some scrambled egg with his fork and lifts it to her mouth.

For a couple of moments, they eat breakfast in silence. As Alex gets up to refill Ally’s sippy cup with milk, the door swings open and Polly comes in. She’s dressed in a long, denim skirt and a neon pink sweater that matches her chin length neon pink hair. Retiring from writing three years earlier has dimmed some of her spark, but she still fills the room with warmth and energy.

“Olly,” Ally cries.

Refusing to be called Grandma, Polly became Olly when Ally was smaller and couldn’t quite pronounce her name.  Ally bounces on her father’s lap and knocks his fork, and the bacon it had just pierced, flying. Ben sighs when Bart pounces on it and Alex has to fight another wave of laughter as he shifts Lucy to his shoulder and holds his free arm out, so Ally can get on his lap allowing Ben to serve Polly some breakfast and himself some more bacon.

“Good morning small creatures,” Polly kisses first Ally, then Lucy. She accepts her coffee and sits down with a yawn. “What have we all been doing this morning?”

“I was coloring, and I made a diapy hat, and Daddy called Papa idiot, but I can’t call him that ‘cause I not a growed up.”

Polly looks at Alex, eyebrows raised.

“That’s pretty much it in a nutshell,” he says and rubs his cheek on Ally’s head.

Ben swallows the piece of bacon he's chewing and drops a kiss on Polly’s head as he serves her a dish of scrambled eggs and takes Lucy. Sits back down and puts a toast crust in her pudgy hand to suck on. Alex offers Ally some of his scrambled egg, but she shakes her head; he looks at her plate at the end of the table, she’s eaten most of it, so he doesn’t insist.

“Business as usual then,” Polly says with a grin.

✽ ✽ ✽

“Why can’t I wear my jeans?” Ally kicks her feet against the legs of her chair. The Pooh Bear pajamas have been replaced by a pink party dress tied with a bow at the back.

“Because it’s a birthday party for Charlotte.” Alex grits his teeth and parts her hair to form pigtails. He hates doing her hair, Ben is so much better at it.

“Yeah but why can’t I wear my jeans?”

“Because it’s nice to dress up for birthday parties.”

He winds a matching pink ribbon around the pig tail and moves to the other side.

“Why?”

“Because everyone wants to look pretty.”

“Why?”

Alex sighs and reaches for the other ribbon.

“Because it’s a special occasion.”

“Why?”

Alex closes his eyes and crouches down in front of her. How does Ben always know when Ally is going to be in the mood to question everything and so chooses to change Lucy?

“Because it’s her birthday and you’re going there to celebrate it with her and have fun.”

“So why can’t I wear my jeans? I can’t have fun in a stupid dress.”

Knowing better than to assume he has any chance of winning the argument, Alex tries distraction as a tactic. He puts the hairbrush on Ally’s dresser and turns to look at her.

“Stand up and twirl, monster.”

Ally rolls her eyes and looks so much like Ben it’s eerie. The skirt of the dress billows out to reveal chubby knees, one sporting an Olaf band-aid. Alex crouches and adjusts the white socks and checks her laces are secure.  Stands and holds his hand out.

“Let’s go show Papa what a beautiful monster you are.”

Giggling she encloses his hand in both of hers and pulls him to the staircase.




Scattered Shells #5
1
Alex clamps a slice of toast between his teeth and lifts Lucy out of her highchair. He settles her on his hip and snatches the toast out of her reach before it ends up smeared down both of them.

“Ally, grab your bag, we’re going to be late,” he says and slings the diaper bag over his shoulder.

“Have to say bye to Papa,” Ally calls over her shoulder as she darts across the court yard, back pack bouncing on the cobblestones behind her. Alex lets out a frustrated sigh and hurries after her.

Ben appears in the doorway and smiles when Ally throws herself on him. The glasses he’s finally accepted he needs for reading and watching television are perched on his head, and Alex can’t help smiling at the sight.

“I won’t forget to check on the cake,” Ben says. He lifts Ally up and kisses her cheek.

“And get the presents.”

“And get the presents.” Grinning at Alex, he leans forward to kiss Lucy. “And the turkey. Papa has everything under control.”

“Monster we have to go,” Alex says, capturing a kiss of his own as he shifts Lucy to a more comfortable position and tries to keep the toast away from Ben’s cream shirt. It’s tucked into navy linen trousers and for the first time in what feels too long, Alex lingers over the kiss. Wants to linger over the kiss. Ben pulls away, eyes dancing as he licks his lips.

“Mmmmm, peanut butter. My favorite.” He sets Ally back on the ground.

Alex brushes his mouth over Ben’s again, then presses his lips close to his ear.

“Who knows what you might taste later?”

Ben raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah?”

A twinge of guilt pulls at Alex. It’s been two months since the court case. His mother’s appeal was denied, and his parents are both serving their sentences. Apart from the occasional bad dream and a reluctance to spend too much time apart from them, Ally appears to be bouncing back. Her hair is almost brushing her collar and the dreaded Mary Janes have been donated to the local thrift store. Alex sees a therapist once - sometimes twice -  a week and has regained most of the weight he lost, but he’s been reluctant to make love. Ben hasn’t pushed it, brushing it off as the downside to parenting but Alex can’t help worrying how long his patience will last. He’s about to kiss Ben again when Ally tugs his hand.

“Daddy, no more smushy stuff. You said we’re going to be late.”

“Okay, okay I’m coming.” He smiles at Ben. “I love you.”

“Love you back. Love you munchkin.”

“Love you back papa. Come on, daddy. We have to go.”

Alex shoves the last of the toast in his mouth and follows her out.

✽ ✽ ✽

Alex stares at his hands and waits for Ellen Jones to look up from her notes. A woman in her mid-forties with strands of silver in her long red hair, she has an unerring eye for spotting whatever is bothering Alex on any given day. Not unlike Ben, he thinks and snorts.

Jones looks up at the sound and smiles.

“Care to share?” she says.

Alex shakes his head and looks back at his hands. She steps out from behind her desk, smooths her skirt beneath her, and sits down.

“So, how’s the week been?”

“Not bad,” Alex admits. “It’s Lucy’s first birthday on Saturday, so Ally’s busy organizing us for that.”

“Thanksgiving baby. That’s a pretty good reason to celebrate.”

Alex nods. He knows he has a lot to be thankful for.

“Ally still doing okay? Any nightmares this week?”

“No, none in about two weeks now and she had a play date at her friend’s house over the weekend. She didn’t stay over but she spent the day.”

Jones looks pleased.

“That’s great news, it certainly sounds like she’s doing well. What did you and Ben do while she was out?”

He can feel the blush creeping across his cheeks; he knows what she’s really asking. The first time the subject of their sex life had come up, he had been so embarrassed he’d had to stand at the window with his back to her to be able to answer. It made him angry, as if the whole nightmare with his mother had sent him hurtling back into who he had been before meeting Ben. Jones had listened to this outburst without comment, then asked him to tell her what Ben had done to make things different.

“He was just … Ben,” Alex had said, voice clogged with emotion.

“And is he still just Ben?” she’d asked, and the question had been so jarring in its simplicity that he’d been shocked out of his embarrassment. Yes, he’d whispered, he was still just Ben. His Ben.

“Alex?” her head is tilted to the side and the amusement in her eyes is mirrored in her tone.

“Sorry, just thinking. We had Lucy with us and went out for lunch, then went home and watched a movie while she slept.” He looks up at her from under the hair flopped over his eyes. “Made out a bit on the sofa.” Small embarrassed laugh. “Like teenagers.”

“Hey, that’s what nap time is for. Go any further than making out?’

Alex shakes his head.

“No. I want to though, it’s just …” his voice trails off as he tries to find the words to explain what he’s feeling. Jones waits, silent. “Ben’s really ... physical. Not shy about anything, really open. Everything I’m not.” He sighs, knows how it must sound. “And he’s always been really patient with me. Never pushed me to do anything I didn’t want to do. Always on my side.”

“Sounds like a saint.” Jones face is unreadable but the laughter that bubbles up from his chest feels good. Better, it feels real.

“He’s not a saint,” he finally manages to say. “He’ll be forty in the new year but some days it’s like he’s twelve.” It occurs to him she might not understand. “Not in a bad way, or anything, he’s just …cocky I guess.”

“I get the feeling you love him very much.”

Alex nods.

“I do. He’s kind and compassionate and smart. Funny. He works hard and he’s a great Dad.” Alex takes a deep breath. “I sound like a teenager with a crush, but he’s everything I always thought I wouldn’t have.”

“Before you met Ben, did you have other lovers?”

He tells her the same thing he remembers telling Ben. A few one-night stands, a couple of short lived flings. The first time he had fallen in love, the only time, had been with Ben.

“And were you ever reluctant to have sex before?”

Alex runs both hands through his hair, holds it back off his face fighting the urge to squirm under her gaze.

“No. I mean I wasn’t a virgin when we met but I hadn’t had that much experience and I’ve always been,” he huffs a laugh as he remembers asking Ben if he was too vanilla, “shy I guess. But we have a good sex life. At least we always did before.”

“So, what’s changed? Did something happen when you were a child?”

It’s not lost on Alex that of the many things he has to be grateful for, one of them is that for all the awful things inflicted upon him by his parents, sexual assault was not one of them.

“No, nothing like that.” The truth he realizes is much simpler. And somehow much harder to face. “I’m scared I won’t be able to … you know…” he looks up and catches the amusement in Jones’s eyes, “I know, I know I’m a nurse I should be able to talk about this stuff. Ben’s always teasing me about it. I’m scared I’ll feel guilty. And I don’t want to ever feel guilty about loving Ben. About making love to him. But …”

“But?”

“But I miss it. I miss touching him and being touched. I want that back in our life. You know, before she showed back up, a lot of the time we were too tired to have sex anyway.”

“Having small children will do that to you.”

He nods in agreement.

“Yeah, but this is different. This is … I don’t know.” Frustrated he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“Alex,” Jones says, “it’s normal to experience a loss of libido after something like this. Apart from what happened with your girls, which is a major stress factor of its own, you’re dealing with a lifetime of trauma for the first time, you need to give yourself some credit. And I know you know what I’m going to tell you to do.”

“Talk to him.”

Jones laughs, it’s a light, airy sound.

“Go to the top of the class. Yes, you have to talk to him.”




Haunted Seas #5.5
WEDNESDAY 
Something smashes into the back of Alex’s legs knocking him off balance. He steadies himself against the wall and looks down to find his younger daughter, Lucy, grinning up at him from the depths of a fuzzy blue costume. 

“Stitch, Daddy, I Stitch.” She holds her arms out and he hefts her up against his shoulder, dodging the sticky ice-cream mouth she’s aiming at him to be kissed. Instead, he pretends to bite her neck through the furry suit making her squirm and giggle. “Had ice-c’eam.” 

“I can see that.” He turns to greet Ben and Ally coming down the hallway. Ally is still wearing the Wonder Woman t-shirt and jeans she wore to school this morning. He raises an eyebrow in query. “Where’s your costume monster?” 

“Papa said it has to stay in the car, so I don’t get it dirty.”  She shoots a baleful look at Ben as she speaks. “It’s not fair, Lulu got to wear hers.”

Alex bites his cheek to keep from laughing at her indignance and raises an eyebrow as he leans over her to kiss Ben. They ignore her protest to not be smushy. 

“Please tell me you’re done for the day.” Ben takes Lucy back. Alex notices his unknotted tie is askew and there’s a smear of what looks like strawberry ice-cream on his shirt. There are gray smudges beneath his green eyes, and his normally well combed blond hair resembles a bird nest. “She’s on form today.” 

In his arms, Lucy wriggles to get free. “Down. Down, Papa.” 

As soon as she hits the ground, she darts toward the reception area before Ben can stop her. Alex grins when Ann intercepts the toddler and lifts her to sit on the edge of her desk, offering her a lollipop from the jar on her desk. Ally turns hopeful eyes to him. He nods and she runs to the receptionist. 

“Court go okay?” He bumps his elbow against Ben’s. 

“Court was a breeze compared to our daughter. I think we’re going to have to buy the Stitch costume if the fit she threw when I tried to take it off her at the store is anything to go by.” He scrubs his hand up over his face. “Maybe she’s been possessed.” 

“Idiot.” Alex’s mouth twitches. “Let me just put these away and we can go.” 

When he returns, Ben is at the reception desk chatting with Ann and Alex is unsurprised to see he too has a lollipop. Lucy is still sitting on the desk, but Ally has wandered into the waiting area where she’s found the pile of children’s books they keep there. When he tries to pick Lucy up, she protests and kicks at him until finally he lets her slither down to scamper over to her sister and snatch at her book.

“Papa! Make her stop!” Ally holds the toddler at bay with one hand and her book in the air with the other. 

“Told you. Possessed.” Ben strides over, picks up a now shrieking Lucy and starts toward the door. “Thanks for the lollipop, Ann.” 

“Terrible twos are such fun.” Ann, a grandmother of four already, shakes her head with a laugh. “I do not miss that. When my grandbabies start, I send them on home.” 

“Don’t blame you.” Alex turns to Ally and holds out his hand. “Come on monster, time to go. Say bye to Ann.” 

Ally returns the books to the shelf and skips over to them. She takes Alex’s hand, leaning against his leg as she says goodbye. 

“You make sure Daddy brings you in, so I can see you dressed as Wonder Woman, okay sweetie?” 

As soon as he opens the clinic’s door, they’re met with the sound of angry squeals and sobs. From where they stand, Alex can see Ben dodging angry blows and Lucy arching her back as she fights having the car set harness attached. 

“No! No! No! No! Bad Papa! No! No!” 

“When Papa said she had to take Stitch off, she bit him.” Ally’s voice is solemn. “Papa said a bad word.” 

No sooner are the words out of her mouth than Lucy whips around and sinks her teeth into Ben’s shoulder making him yelp yet another bad word. Ally nods in confirmation when Alex glances at her and they hurry over to the car. Alex nudges Ben out of the way. 

“Help Ally with her seatbelt.”

Lucy is in full temper tantrum now and Alex is surprised they haven’t attracted more attention. He places a firm hand on her chest to hold her still and yanks the harness over her head. Clicks it into place and draws back and holds his index finger up.



Saturday's Series Spotlight
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Author Bio:

New Zealand author, Angelique Jurd, writes contemporary gay (MM) romance. Her stories are emotional, sexy, and loving with heart warming endings. After getting a degree in languages, travelling the world, raising a family, and working as a business journalist, she went back to school and studied English Literature and Media Studies.In 2018, she published her first novel Jesse’s Smile with Small Black Cat Media. Since then, she’s continued to write contemporary gay (MM) romance and her academic research in fan studies and the queerification of popular fiction characters by fans.


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EMAIL: angelique@angeliquejurd.com



Stormy Seas #4

Scattered Shells #5

Haunted Seas #5.5

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